• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;45896558]As soon as it seems cool? I mean, you can meet a girl at a party, and if you have a good vibe just ask whether she wants to go out for coffee on Sunday when your hangover is gone. As far as I know, there's not some arbitrary amount of days that you have to wait - just do it when it feels right.[/QUOTE] Aight, I may do it coming week, thanks man
Back at university now, have a class with that girl I like and we've already agreed to go for coffee or something some time soon, we're just not sure when because her schedule is a fucking mess with school, doctor's appointments and extracurricular stuff. Now, when I do get a chance to spend some time with her outside of class, how the fuck do I let her know that I like her as more than a friend without being super awkward about it?
Guess who feels like shit after having their phone number blocked after his first date in his life? This fucking pathetic loser. [editline]5:12PM[/editline] done with women, time to convert to asexuality. i'm going back to the hermit lifestyle of living behind this computer screen. 'Least I didn't get hurt when I lived that lifestyle. 'Sup guys.
[QUOTE=ehheh;45901265]Guess who feels like shit after having their phone number blocked after his first date in his life? This fucking pathetic loser. [editline]5:12PM[/editline] done with women, time to convert to asexuality. i'm going back to the hermit lifestyle of living behind this computer screen. 'Least I didn't get hurt when I lived that lifestyle. 'Sup guys.[/QUOTE] Getting hurt is a necessary part of living. Rejection gets easier after you've dealt with it a few times. Eventually you realize that a lot of the things people do to hurt you aren't your fault. You're not going to be compatible with everyone you meet, just because it didn't work out doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Remember that dating isn't just about getting into a relationship for the sake of not being single, it's about finding someone you work well with. [editline]5th September 2014[/editline] You're allowed to feel bad about what happened (though you shouldn't), but ultimately you need to get back on that horse. It gets easier with time.
um wtf So I was in my ICT class, sitting next to the-girl-who-addedme's only best friend on the computers and we didn't really talk, and apparently the girl herself was sitting almost right next to me and I didn't even notice, apparently she didn't either. The thing is, I was trying to meet with her every school day but couldn't even find her, and even when chatting on FB and asking to meet she was with her friend away from school, so I was like wtf, how did I even fuck up this badly to not notice her almost next to me But anyways, still trying to meet with her. And apparently she's stuck to her friend so much that she's with her every single day in school and after. [editline]5th September 2014[/editline] If she did notice, she didn't try to make any contact(talk)
[QUOTE=Fulsam;45887089]My life isn't going too bad right now, but I'm really starting to stagnate. I'm working towards getting my license, but I'm still deeply uncomfortable with driving. Ever since my last lesson left me with a bad taste in my mouth, I completely doubt my abilities to function on the road. I worry I'll completely lock up during my test, which is going to take place on busy urban streets with no time for fumblefucking around. The way my driving school was arranged, the on-the-road lessons wouldn't always be available with the same teacher, so each time I had to get comfortable around different teachers with different personalities, rather than getting an accurate picture of whether or not I was improving in the eyes of someone I already was comfortable with. Case and point, on my second-to-last lesson, my driving instructor was rather chill, and on the road, everything went swimmingly. I went onto the highways for the first time without breaking a sweat. I was a bit iffy with the backing-in, but according to him, my road skills were A-OK. I can do this, I got game. Going to get my license without a hitch, right? Wrong. On my last lesson, I had to go with a different instructor. This guy was an order of magnitude stricter, and was not easygoing. You're going too fast. You're going too slow. You're too close to the side of the road. Stop going for the brake pedal. You need to listen. Each thing I did slightly wrong bothered me deeply. How did I go from being fine, to completely dropping the fucking ball? At the end of the lesson, the guy told me I did alright, but I felt like a fucking moron. I've been practicing driving with my parents, but I only get to do so on Sundays. It's too much time between each practice for me to feel at home on the road. I've driven on city roads fine before, but ever since that lesson, I'm scared shitless of them. I need to grow some fucking balls soon, though. I cant stand waking up every day just to spend it on a fucking computer.[/QUOTE] I know exactly how you feel. I wasn't able to get my license until I was 20. Half of it was an irrational fear of driving, the other half was having nobody to practice with. I did perfectly fine in driver's ed, both on-the-road and in class, but I needed to rack up like 60 hours worth of driving time before I could go to the DMV and take the test. Didn't have a car to really even drive. The only one I could use didn't start half the time my dad decided to put aside some time to let me practice. The times we did practice were so far apart that I may as well have been neuralyzed by the MIB. After my mom died, my dad bought me a car for cheap from his dad, and that freed up a lot of time for me to practice. I went to go take the test, since I didn't have to worry about that 60 hour bullshit anymore. I failed it the first time. The observer said "You're a good driver, but you need more confidence." Yeah, last I checked these people get paid to judge how you drive, not act like a freaking therapist. My dad said the same thing. I practiced a bit more, and in March of 2013 I went to a completely different DMV (a way more friendly and laid back one), and still failed the test. This time it was for something that actually made sense. I went to parallel park and my tires hit the curb, which is an automatic fail. I came back the very next day and took it again. This time, I had a different observer. She was very chill and when I pulled into the parking lot, she said "It says here you failed for hitting the curb with your tires. Don't worry about that. I do that a lot. But...before I tell you how you did...back at that stop sign, was that a complete stop?" I instantly said "No" and she smiled and said "Good. If you argued about it I'd have failed you." Technically they're supposed to fail you if you do not come to a complete stop at stop signs, so I got very lucky. When I finally got my license a whole new world of opportunities opened up. It's so wonderful to just be able to drive somewhere instead of having to rely on other people to take you places. It's awesome. You'll get there eventually man.
When I took driving classes, my teacher told us that they only test parallel parking for students they don't like. 50 or 60 hours seems like a lot before you start taking classes but you usually find out that you need even [i]more[/i] practice than that before you're ready to drive on your own. While my parents were teaching me there were a few times where I panicked and started crying and had to get them to drive me home. Being afraid of driving is a completely normal thing, especially considering how dangerous we know cars can be in the hands of a bad driver. Either way it's something you need to learn. You have to be uncomfortable with something before you can get comfortable with it.
i practiced a total of like 2 times for like an hour each and then passed
Bf is starting up school I can finally have the apartment to myself sometimes wOOOooO~
[QUOTE=RocketRacer;45901910]um wtf So I was in my ICT class, sitting next to the-girl-who-addedme's only best friend on the computers and we didn't really talk, and apparently the girl herself was sitting almost right next to me and I didn't even notice, apparently she didn't either. The thing is, I was trying to meet with her every school day but couldn't even find her, and even when chatting on FB and asking to meet she was with her friend away from school, so I was like wtf, how did I even fuck up this badly to not notice her almost next to me But anyways, still trying to meet with her. And apparently she's stuck to her friend so much that she's with her every single day in school and after. [editline]5th September 2014[/editline] If she did notice, she didn't try to make any contact(talk)[/QUOTE] If she's not making time to meet you away from her friend it doesn't look good. Try approaching her face to face and asking her rather than over message. You will get a legit reply then and you can see whether she is actually interested or not
-snipe- I'm stupid
[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;45905708]If she's not making time to meet you away from her friend it doesn't look good. Try approaching her face to face and asking her rather than over message. You will get a legit reply then and you can see whether she is actually interested or not[/QUOTE] Trying to approach her face to face is the problem because I just can't meet her. We have different lessons and subjects so we can't meet during those, and I didn't see her anywhere around the school any other time yet. I dont know when she has free periods an if they collide with mine, I have to ask on message. I also asked if she's free today after some talk and she haven't seen or responded to the message since. It's 11 pm here and I sent it at 2. Either I somehow fucked up or something else. Probably something else and she's not starting to hate me for asking.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45901746]Getting hurt is a necessary part of living. Rejection gets easier after you've dealt with it a few times. Eventually you realize that a lot of the things people do to hurt you aren't your fault. You're not going to be compatible with everyone you meet, just because it didn't work out doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Remember that dating isn't just about getting into a relationship for the sake of not being single, it's about finding someone you work well with. [editline]5th September 2014[/editline] You're allowed to feel bad about what happened (though you shouldn't), but ultimately you need to get back on that horse. It gets easier with time.[/QUOTE] Feel tons better now after some rest, and yea you're right. If she just outright ignored me ever existing after the first date I guess we weren't meant to be anyway. I see it as her loss but I've learned a bit though from this experience. I think there is a silver lining to all this though, at least I just wasted just a single day instead of months, maybe even years with her. Guess I'll see this as a good thing instead of a bad thing.
I feel stupid FP. Last year I went to a summer program in Washington D.C. to study film making and cinematography. I stayed two weeks in a dormitory with other 11th and 12th graders from all over the country. While I was there I got really close to a 12th grade girl for Philadelphia. I can't really describe it well but it felt like I already knew her. We would spend hours and hours just talking. She would always have something interesting to say and always tried to be social. The 2nd week was the best time of my life. The program had days where we'd go on trips to museums and other places. We'd both explore the places and we would discuss what we thought about them. Once we got back to the dorm we would be in her room making out or watching movies together. When the two weeks were up we were both devastated, but we knew it wouldn't last forever. We texted each other for months and Skype every week. Eventually she started to get distant and we didn't skype anymore and she didn't answer as much. but she still had this caring tone to her whenever she replied. She knew I was still deeply in love with her. I wanted to be with her so badly but I couldn't because she lived on the other side of the country. She's told me that she wants me to find someone and that i'd only hurt more if I keep loving her. And now that school has started i've felt even worse. Thank you for anyone that reads. I love FP and hope I can start replying here more often.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45900794]Back at university now, have a class with that girl I like and we've already agreed to go for coffee or something some time soon, we're just not sure when because her schedule is a fucking mess with school, doctor's appointments and extracurricular stuff. Now, when I do get a chance to spend some time with her outside of class, how the fuck do I let her know that I like her as more than a friend without being super awkward about it?[/QUOTE] Anyone? I'm starting to feel like I really need to get this off my chest soon and I don't know how to tell a girl I like her without being a total fucking sperg. And even though I have a feeling she does at least somewhat feel the same way about me, she's still going to get turned off if I be a sperg about the whole thing.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45911181]Anyone? I'm starting to feel like I really need to get this off my chest soon and I don't know how to tell a girl I like her without being a total fucking sperg. And even though I have a feeling she does at least somewhat feel the same way about me, she's still going to get turned off if I be a sperg about the whole thing.[/QUOTE] see thread title
[QUOTE=haloguy234;45911200]see thread title[/QUOTE] I've already asked her out though and we've been on a couple dates already. That was a few months ago close to the end of last school year. But I guess I haven't really asked her out again since I've seen her again, just kind of suggested we do something together.
I've been told I need to ask for help to receive it. How do you ask for help when you don't even know what you need help with? I've been single for 6 months now. I was with my ex for 5 years, from the age of 16 to 21. It was shit from the beginning. I've always had more female friends than male, maybe because of my terrible relationship with my father, but regardless, she was not a fan of me hanging out with my female friends. She ultimatum'd me with every single friend she felt even the slightest suspicion toward. This was obviously my first red flag, but I was too misguided (or stupid depending on your perspective) to do anything about it. She would even get upset when I was hanging out with male friends, constantly accusing me of lying about where I was or who was actually with me. 2 years into our relationship, we moved in together (directly after I tried cheating on her out of spite for all of the pain she caused me). Everything was dandy for the first little while, or so it seemed at least. It was just a small honeymoon phase. Within 6 months, we were back to fighting. This fighting got worse as time went on, and took a nose-dive when I was laid off from a job I had attained only two months previously. I also began abusing cannabis at this point, and it worsened as time went on, to the point that I was high more often than I was sober. Cannabis helped in some areas of my life. It helped me see my existence in a different way, and opened up my mind to everything else on this planet and beyond. I lost a bunch of weight (~80 pounds) and was receiving compliments frequently. I became incredibly interested in outer space as well, and I now constantly question out existence on every level, from planetary to molecular. My lack of any formal education and inability to focus on any subject for more than 10 minutes hinders me from pursuing this interest, however. I have multiple other interests now as well, and I like to imagine that cannabis helped me see life in this scope. Correlation does not equal causation, though. I'm still a shithead in a lot of ways, particularly when it comes to sexuality. There was one night where I was hanging out with my ex's best friend. I had smoked 4 bowls within a 3 hour timespan, and was feeling especially lonely (though I don't remember specifically why). I made a move on her. She denied, obviously, and it made our relationship that much worse. Her friend isn't even attractive, at least in my opinion, and I can honestly say that I didn't want to sleep with her. I don't know why I did it. I just did. I place a lot of pride on how attractive I am to women. I don't know why, but if I had to guess, it's probably from my relationship with my father. He's always been a ladie's man, and he would bully me about my inability to attract any women. I was overweight until I was 19 and I still suffer from acne, though it's not as severe as it once was. (I took triple to recommended dose of Accutane as a teenager. That's how severe both my weight and my acne was.) This manifested in a burning need to prove to him that I can in fact get a girlfriend, and I think that's why I stayed with her so long despite our clear issues, both separately as people and as a couple. Eventually, I got pretty close to a co-worker. She always understood how I truly felt when I explained my emotions, and I grew attached to her. She later expressed that she had feelings for me as well. I honestly don't know if I liked her enough to be with her, but there was clearly chemistry. There were multiple problems with this, though, mainly the fact that we were both in a relationship. My ex got insanely jealous, and though she denies it, she got a job where I worked in order to monitor our interactions. I also believe she asked our boss to rearrange the schedule, because after she was hired, I only worked with my other friend once a month. Before this, my ex ended up pregnant. She wanted to keep it, and while I didn't want to at first, I accepted my responsibility and went along with it. We began looking at houses together. We were actually happy for a while. Later on, she ended up miscarrying. To be honest, I was relieved. I saw that she was incredibly upset about it though, and regrettably, I told her we would try again as soon as possible. Frankly, I didn't want to. I knew for a long time that I did not love this woman, and I wanted out as soon as possible. My only problem was my lack of a backbone. I didn't want to see her upset about me leaving, so I constantly put it off, waiting for the "right time" (spoilers: there is no right time.) In this time we discussed the possibility of trying again and we both decided that it would be a bad idea to have a child together. She said that if she were to end up pregnant again, we would deal with it. Fast forward to February this year. We found out she was pregnant again. However, instead of dealing with it, she told her family. She got excited about having him. I felt incredibly betrayed. And yet, I still trusted her. At this point, tension from our mutual co-worker was at it's highest and the fighting was the worst it's ever been. I had always maintained patience with her, but after that, I just didn't have it in me any more. We broke up when she began talking to another man. Our break up fight was a testament to our relationship. My sister was over at our place, as well as my ex's friend (the one I was lewd with). My ex was cooking dinner. I usually add the spices to our food as she cooks, mainly because she never does and I can't stand plain tomato sauce. When I added the spice, she freaked out at me, called me a plethora of names, and told me she wouldn't eat the food any more. That was it. I went back to my parent's place that night and she immediately got with her new man. I still wanted to be a part of my child's life, so we kept contact despite my boiling rage toward her. We also worked together most of the time, so we had no choice but to interact. She wanted to remain in our relationship (she seems to believe it is perfectly okay to be with another person while on a break) but I had had enough at this point. Despite this, I still trusted her. I could explain how I felt and what I was thinking with great accuracy with her, and I still can to this day. I told her about our co-worker, and the feelings we had for each other, because I believed it would be best to clear the air (she constantly talked about her). She had a new boyfriend anyway, so obviously she would understand. Not surprisingly (at least it shouldn't have been) she flipped out. She threatened to tell our co-worker's boyfriend about it, despite the fact that our feelings for each other had dissipated months ago from infrequent contact. I decided to tell my co-worker about this, and understandably, she cut off contact with me. I haven't spoken to her since. Within a month of breaking up with my ex, she had told me basically everything I didn't want to know about her new man. How great he was at sex, how great he was at everything esle, how lucky she was. All of the good stuff. Oddly enough, this didn't upset me nearly as much as I thought it would. It sucks to hear about, of course, but I had forgotten about it within a couple of minutes, most likely thanks to cannabis. I told myself I would use my free time to meet new people. It's what I wanted to do for essentially the entire relationship, and this was my chance. I started hanging out with an old friend, as well as his group of friends. Problem is, I just had no interest in any of it. I can't handle alcohol at all, and that's all my friends did. Slowly, I stopped talking to him, and now we hang out about once a month. I can't speak to women, either. At all. I've gotten quite a few number since I broke up with my ex, I just haven't had the drive to follow up on any of them simply because I know I won't be adequate. I'm not referring specifically to sex either, I mean everything in general; speaking to them, noticing social cues, finance, everything. I'm also terribly self concious of my body, which is probably the main reason why I never follow up. Anyway, I didn't pack up all of my stuff when I moved out, so I had to go back occasionally to pick stuff up. The first time she clearly wanted to see if I would try to sleep with her, as she was in only a towel (that didn't even cover her entire midsection) when I arrived. I took the bait. It happened the second time as well, though at that point she told me her and her new man were in fact not dating. We discussed possibly trying to date again (for our child), and went out for food to discuss it further. As soon as we sat down to eat, she got a text from her new man and left within minutes. I ate my food alone and left. My son was born on the 22nd of August. People always tell you how once you see him, hold him, everything changes. Everyone was right. I instantly loved him. My ex had told me throughout the pregnancy that I would be welcome over any time, that she figured I'd get along with her new man, and that everything would be golden. Of course, I naively believed this. She told me I could sleep at her place when I was off work in order to maximize my time with my son. She lives an hour away, so driving to and from her place costs a lot in gas money. As soon as I arrived at her place, her parents proceeded to tell me that I was not welcome to stay the night (it's their house) but I could come over during the day whenever I wanted. I broke down harder than I ever have in my life, and it wasn't even thag big of a deal. But there was more to it than that. It was clear that none of them respected me, and none of them wanted me around. I knew that my time with my son would slowly be taken away. And I was right. I went to see him one extra day for about 6 hours, 2 weeks ago, and that was the last time I saw him. His mother said that I am no longer welcome at their place and that I would have to go to court if I want to see him. She is also denying my support payments to him. I don't even know what else to say. I did this to myself. After all of the red flags from her I still blindly trusted her. She says she loves me, there is no way she will take him away from me... right? Wrong, clearly. The idea of death is comforting. I don't know if that makes me suicidal. I mean, I guess it does. But I don't want to die. I don't want to live, either. ... sigh. Sorry for the wall of text, I just had to get this out somehwere. [editline]7th September 2014[/editline] I suppose this shouls have gone in the depression thread. My apologies.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45911265]I've already asked her out though and we've been on a couple dates already. That was a few months ago close to the end of last school year. But I guess I haven't really asked her out again since I've seen her again, just kind of suggested we do something together.[/QUOTE] Don't tell people you "like" them, just ask her out, and saying you should do something sometime doesn't work.
A major thing happened in my friend circle, I don't know what I'm hoping for by posting this here but whatever. We were planning on going to a pub for a social time and dinner. I literally said in the FB convo that I was not going and they didn't pick up on it. I thought they did and understood that, so I went about doing whatever. So later on about roughly an hour before we were supposed to set off, I become suspicious about them not realising it. I drop the bomb expecting bad and I got bad (It's worth noting that it was only two of the friends that were confirmed as going and the whole thing won't work if it's just 2 people going) My biggest concern was that friend 'X' would flip their shit, like always because they can't control their emotions, Friend 'Y' who has the qualities you'd want in a friend was understanding and immediately suggesting planning the night out for another night. I post my free nights and then Friend X posts "I'm so done" couldn't help chuckling because LMAO pics has made a mockery of tumblr and that phrase... But anyway, he went offline. I quickly drove past his house to check if his car was there, and in the surrounding areas (cos I care about my friends duh) aaand I did not see his car. I'm open anything you want to say about me but I feel like the real victim here.
I went to a small college, and one of the 2-3 girls who caught my eye always said that we were insanely compatible but that she was not really attracted to me. The thing is, we have been friends the whole way, and as time went on she was always the one who wanted to hang out more and told me that I was one of her closest friends. After we graduated, my feelings subsided very much and I was okay with it all. We now live some distance apart, but close enough to visit for the day easily. In the year since we graduated she would always be the first to say she missed me and wanted to hang out more than I would. This past summer, we spent a few days at the shore alone together (her idea not to bring a friend as I suggested) and had sex. I don't see anything particularly strange about random friend hookups, but it made me feel odd about what she had said in the past. We had a really good time and I didn't want to spoil it by immediately asking her what was going on and possibly leaving on a bad note. Instead of asking her at an appropriate time I foolishly feared the awkwardness and possible let down of discussing our feelings again, stalling for the next time we saw each other. Of course, she has inevitably just started dating someone, and I seriously can't believe I let myself get into this situation again after having previously been over her. I'm not stupid enough to not want to try and meet other people, but I don't really work or hang out anywhere that makes that possible, plus I don't have my own apartment yet. What I really needed was grad school, but the one school that would have taken me way far away and plunged me into tons of new things waitlisted me and never sent back. The idea of feeling good about where I am has felt uncomfortably far away for too long.
I finally did it, I broke up with her. I've had plenty of great memories with her. But I don't want to be with her, it hurts me, but I know I have to deal with it. Is there any way to forget about her completely and not feel this way?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45911181]Anyone? I'm starting to feel like I really need to get this off my chest soon and I don't know how to tell a girl I like her without being a total fucking sperg. And even though I have a feeling she does at least somewhat feel the same way about me, she's still going to get turned off if I be a sperg about the whole thing.[/QUOTE] Do you need to tell her you like her? no? then don't.
So I've been talking to a girl recently, and it's the first person I've ever even seriously talked to before. I was asking her where she stands on having a relationship, but she says me being inexperienced and not knowing what to do/say sometimes frustrates her. I honestly don't know how I can fix that.
[QUOTE=Exigent;45916199]So I've been talking to a girl recently, and it's the first person I've ever even seriously talked to before. I was asking her where she stands on having a relationship, but she says me being inexperienced and not knowing what to do/say sometimes frustrates her. I honestly don't know how I can fix that.[/QUOTE] Then don't fix it and instead keep having a nice friendship with her. Don't keep on trying to get in a relationship with her, when she's already turned you down. It's unlikely you're ever going to be succesful, and you're putting the friendship at risk anyway. So my advice is: Don't chase her, it generally turns into a series of polite rejections. Sounds like you value the friendship, so keep it that way. Who knows, she might change her mind later, but don't try to actively change it for her.
[QUOTE=Ruso;45915106]I finally did it, I broke up with her. I've had plenty of great memories with her. But I don't want to be with her, it hurts me, but I know I have to deal with it. Is there any way to forget about her completely and not feel this way?[/QUOTE] Distract yourself. Be it with videogames, hobbies, or going out with friends, but just distract yourself, so that you have good times. It works for me, it's worth a try.
[QUOTE=thelurker1234;45916181]Do you need to tell her you like her? no? then don't.[/QUOTE] I'm not sure if I need to tell her or not though. And I really have no idea how I'm supposed to show her because I'm used to girls just freaking the fuck out and rejecting me the second I drop the slightest hint I may be interested. And since she hasn't done that after a few not so subtle hints, that's why I have a feeling she might feel the same way but I'm not sure so I feel like I just need to get it off my chest and I really want to see if she feels the same way.
then go on a date with her and see how it goes instead of being a sperg
[QUOTE=FlashMarsh;45918700]then go on a date with her and see how it goes instead of being a sperg[/QUOTE] I've already done this twice. It went good both times and on the second date we ended up cuddling on the couch while watching a movie. But then we didn't get to go on any more dates because she was really sick for like a month and had a lot of school work to catch up on and then the school year was over and I didn't get to see her all summer. So other than ask her out again, I'm wondering what I'm supposed to do next.
You're not supposed to do something next except for dating. Stop taking intimacy as a cue to taking things to the next step people.
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