Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
Showing that you had the motivation to learn a musical instrument isn't going to "ruin your game", regardless of what music you play.
Learn some classical, maybe? Never played drums, but non-solo bass parts are usually just background noise and not meant to stand on their own. Bach is a pretty popular choice (look into his Cello Suites). Etudes, as the name implies, would be good for working on technique.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45982154]Showing that you had the motivation to learn a musical instrument isn't going to "ruin your game", regardless of what music you play.
Learn some classical, maybe? Never played drums, but non-solo bass parts are usually just background noise and not meant to stand on their own. Bach is a pretty popular choice (look into his Cello Suites). Etudes, as the name implies, would be good for working on technique.[/QUOTE]
The bass guitar is far from background noise, man. The bass is what leads the band rhythmically and does a lot of the harmonics. Just imagine music with bass :v:
[QUOTE=Exigent;45982325]The bass guitar is far from background noise, man. The bass is what leads the band rhythmically and does a lot of the harmonics. Just imagine music with bass :v:[/QUOTE]
I'm not saying it doesn't, but the bass part is typically just supporting the melody. My point is that playing the bass part of something composed for multiple instruments isn't going to necessarily sound recognizable because it usually isn't the main focus.
[editline]14th September 2014[/editline]
I also [i]really[/i] don't care for semantic arguments. I played upright and electric bass for a few years each, give me the benefit of the doubt.
Life has been pretty good lately.
Having a job has definitely changed my perspective on relationships. I was offered an IT job at school, and the people who scouted me out offered me a research position on top of the IT job. I was ecstatic. However, I had to tell them that I have to wait until next semester because I just took my current job as a TA/grader, so it would be unfair to myself to work 14 credit hours + 14 TA hours + this IT job from 9-5 on certain days when I'm not in class.
I seriously enjoy teaching too. Seeing people get something they've been struggling with finally understand abstract concepts is such a rewarding experience. I still get mad at myself for thinking about my ex. There are often times I want to say something about work to someone. I was explaining to one of my close friends how I miss being intimately involved with someone else who genuinely cared for your well being. He laughed, "Dude, she was a piece of shit to you. You can do better."
After those insightful words, I leave early for my Greek and Roman Cultures class. Well I'll be damned if there isn't this gorgeous girl waiting outside of the class adjacent from mine. Feeling like I've got nothing to lose, I start talking to her. We hit it off and now she's added me on Facebook. Minus the fact she's a junior in college who's been in a relationship with the same guy since freshman year of high school, I felt pretty good just working up the courage to talk to her and to get her to laugh at my jokes.
I'm not lonely anymore. I have surrounded myself with friends and family, and it feels surreal that I am at my highest quality of work and I am not constantly having panic attacks anymore.
so uh
The girl that added me after seeing me on a bus, which is in my school in same year group, and I've been talking to her ever since...it's school and I tried to meet her properly and just talk or hang out during free periods and now she's in my ICT class. Sounds like we can talk properly now? lolno. She's stuck to her fem-best-friend completely, and apparently to the point that she pretends I don't exist during the lesson because when sitting almost next to her she paid zero attention and never tried to talk. Now it may sound like "dude dont wait for HER to start talkin", but - we've been chatting for some time, I've started most of chats and she did as well, and whenever I chat with her on FB we tend to talk a lot, but suddenly when her friend is on her lesson(same ICT class), absolutely zero attention.
Question - why. It may sound bad, I may sound like a dick but seriously, how do I deal with this? Even today she messaged me about one thing on FB, after we had a lesson together. Is she that stuck to her friend that she doesn't want someone to 'interrupt' them? oh also whenever I asked if she's free or once I told her I can help her with her french durin school(implying we could meet) she didn't read/answer but then suddenly I get a random message from her or as it was yesterday "hey I need help for ICT"
I fucking have a negative female aura on me what the fuck
[editline]15th September 2014[/editline]
help
I really like this new girl at my job. She's really nice to me but I'm still a little nervous around her. We both work the night shifts so I see her a lot and she's always smiling at me. I think she likes me too but idk I guess I'll find out soon. I want to be less nervous around her though
[QUOTE=RocketRacer;45989231]so uh
The girl that added me after seeing me on a bus, which is in my school in same year group, and I've been talking to her ever since...it's school and I tried to meet her properly and just talk or hang out during free periods and now she's in my ICT class...[/QUOTE]
Sounds like she doesn't really give a shit about you and only uses you when she needs something. Very simple. So move along, nothing to see here.
EDIT: It probably doesn't have to do anything with your "aura". Some people are just not interested.
[QUOTE=Kindlinho;45991794]Sounds like she doesn't really give a shit about you and only uses you when she needs something. Very simple. So move along, nothing to see here.
EDIT: It probably doesn't have to do anything with your "aura". Some people are just not interested.[/QUOTE]
Yeah it may sound like that but the 'needs me only if she needs something herself' but that really occured only once, but I think this may happen again. For now I'm starting to not give a shit but I was thinking of talking to her about but eh, she's eternally bound to her friebd so message is only option
Just don't give too much interest to someone who doesn't appreciate it.
[QUOTE=RocketRacer;45989231]so uh
The girl that added me after seeing me on a bus, which is in my school in same year group, and I've been talking to her ever since...it's school and I tried to meet her properly and just talk or hang out during free periods and now she's in my ICT class. Sounds like we can talk properly now? lolno. She's stuck to her fem-best-friend completely, and apparently to the point that she pretends I don't exist during the lesson because when sitting almost next to her she paid zero attention and never tried to talk. Now it may sound like "dude dont wait for HER to start talkin", but - we've been chatting for some time, I've started most of chats and she did as well, and whenever I chat with her on FB we tend to talk a lot, but suddenly when her friend is on her lesson(same ICT class), absolutely zero attention.
Question - why. It may sound bad, I may sound like a dick but seriously, how do I deal with this? Even today she messaged me about one thing on FB, after we had a lesson together. Is she that stuck to her friend that she doesn't want someone to 'interrupt' them? oh also whenever I asked if she's free or once I told her I can help her with her french durin school(implying we could meet) she didn't read/answer but then suddenly I get a random message from her or as it was yesterday "hey I need help for ICT"
I fucking have a negative female aura on me what the fuck
[editline]15th September 2014[/editline]
help[/QUOTE]
Look you ignored my advice last time you posted with this exact same problem, but here's the same advice-
If she seriously gives you "absolutely zero attention" and "pretends I don't exist" why are you still seeking a relationship that she clearly isn't interested in? It might feel shit but I'm pretty sure you should forget about her and give your attention to someone who deserves/wants it.
hm I didn't see the message, sorry. I'm not aiming for relationship, but rather just to try to be friends, but since she is so stuck to her bff then fuck that I ain't dealing with that.
can someone tell me I'm an idiot
I have massive anxiety disorders and have been stressing thinking the missus is pregnant
basically we were messing around a bit. Third base, lets say, using hands and whatnot
I've been terrified there was cum or pre-cum on one of our fingers. I don't know. It's hard to keep track, but there were hands all over so I'm terrified that maybe something slipped out.
she says it's an infertile day for her but I've been stressing so much I threw up. Anyone tell me I'm an idiot?
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;46000450]can someone tell me I'm an idiot
I have massive anxiety disorders and have been stressing thinking the missus is pregnant
basically we were messing around a bit. Third base, lets say, using hands and whatnot
I've been terrified there was cum or pre-cum on one of our fingers. I don't know. It's hard to keep track, but there were hands all over so I'm terrified that maybe something slipped out.
she says it's an infertile day for her but I've been stressing so much I threw up. Anyone tell me I'm an idiot?[/QUOTE]
Just going to quote this [i]again[/i] because I'm tired of having to type it out every time someone asks this question.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45099245]Didn't notice that part when I saw your post.
The chance of impregnation is about 5% throughout most of the menstrual cycle, peaking at about 25% when ovulating (that's a period of about 1-2 days out of a woman's cycle). On top of that, it isn't exactly physically possible that your semen somehow found its way to the other side of the condom if the condom was still intact afterward. Unless the condom fell off inside her/while you were pulling out or something, you can chalk up your chances of impregnating her to "astronomical".
I need to just save that last paragraph in a file for future use - a lot of people come to this thread asking similar questions. If anyone else is reading this... Seriously, don't worry about one slip-up leading to a pregnancy. If you're properly using any type of birth control, you're fine. If a condom breaks, get plan B.
[editline]13th June 2014[/editline]
Also, it amazes me how many people come to this thread who are using condoms AND hormonal birth control and still think they're going to end up with a kid. It is virtually impossible.[/QUOTE]
[editline]16th September 2014[/editline]
Also, precum does not carry sperm.
I'm sorry if the question keeps getting asked I've just been such a little neurotic moron it's been stressing me all fucking day
thank you for the answer. The only cum was waaaaaaaaay away from anyone so that's fine, it was pre-cum I was worried about, and shit left on my hands from earlier in the day.
[editline]17th September 2014[/editline]
I tried to bring it up jokingly and she told me I was "dumb" and I've sort of just been stewing
Yeah, I've been in her position with an ex who was painfully ignorant about how the body works. It can be really frustrating to see a male partner get worked up about the idea of impregnating you when you're not doing anything particularly risky. Kind of kills the mood.
I'd suggest reading up a bit on how conception works so you have a better idea of risk levels. Of course, you should always practice safe sex, but if a condom breaks or something (and one breakage alone isn't likely to be a big deal), it's better to have an informed perspective and know to wait for the test to come back positive before you start panicking.
Here's an article on it that might be a good place to start. It will give you an idea of what factors affect fertility.
[url]http://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/trying-to-conceive/ovulation-getting-pregnant/[/url]
I'm young and an idiot, that's my explanation.
She kept telling me that getting pregnant from fingering during an infertile week would be next to impossible but my brain won't listen
I'm still shaking and stressed about it all. This doesn't usually happen but someone made some joke about pregnancy recently and now it's all I can think about it.
We've never had full on sex just fingering and whatnot but it's stressing me so much
It's not possible, right?
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;46000539]I'm young and an idiot, that's my explanation. [/QUOTE]
Might be an explanation, but it's sure as hell not an excuse.
If you consider yourself mature enough to have sex (and yes, "sex" DOES include acts other than penetration), you should be mature enough to pick up a book and figure out how your partner's anatomy works.
[editline]16th September 2014[/editline]
And here's your answer. [url]http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20120313-sex-in-the-city-or-elsewhere[/url]
I'm sorry guy
if anything this is me reading lots of medical shit because this three hour adventure of throwing up from stress isn't much fun!
from what I'm gathering though if I manage to get her pregnant off of this I deserve a medal
If you only had precum on your hands, assuming you hadn't ejaculated earlier that day, then the chances of it happening are incredibly unlikely. It's not impossible for it to happen, but the odds are very, very low.
I hadn't earlier that day. Maybe yesterday, but not earlier that day.
but like you said, the odds are very very low.
I'm so sorry to have been such a pest but I'm stressed out of my skull.
I'm not usually this bad. I haven't been taking my stress meds.
All good. If you're dealing with bad anxiety problems right now, then just try to remember that your sexual escapades today should be the least of your worries. It sounds like you're already stressed and focusing those feelings of worry on this particular incident because you have nowhere else to put them, if that makes sense.
No, that makes complete sense. A lot of the time I feel it's repressed stress finding ways to latch on to something that almost seems reasonable
I fucking hate anxieties more than anything. I know I shouldn't be stressing like that and focusing more on the naked lady in front of me but I can't :/ and it doesn't matter how irrational it is to think how many incredible leaps in logic it would take for precum or cum from my fingers to slither all the way up there but here I am still worried about it and probably will be stressed well into tomorow
I have friends make fun of me all the time for worrying about everything and I wish they'd understand it's so out of my control.
I also hate being stressed around people ESPECIALLY my girlfriend cause she has more or less the same thing and if I go off she'll be set off too and then I just feel horrendously guilty that my idiocy can ruin someone elses day
so I spent most of today sitting around anxiously trying not to say a word or peep and just watch a movie
Today was the first time I'd ever seen Silence of the Lambs and let me tell you [I]it did not de-stress me[/I]
I used to have pretty bad problems when I was a teen so I know what it's like. Sometimes I feel myself slip a bit emotionally if I go too long without working out or stop eating right for a few days. I hope your family is willing to work with you on it - my own parents didn't understand how to handle anxiety attacks and I ended up with a lot of trust issues because of it.
IMO you shouldn't keep your concerns from her, unless you're a really good actor she can probably see you're stressed and is even more nervous because she doesn't know why. She's probably a bit more informed about her reproductive system than you are so she might have been able to ease your worries if you had a conversation about it. Usually if something's wrong with my bf and he doesn't tell me what it is, my first thought is "have I done something wrong?".
May I ask why you stopped taking anxiety meds?
[editline]16th September 2014[/editline]
Also, Silence of the Lambs is a great movie. I've been watching the TV series Hannibal which is a prequel to it... It's really, really good.
My dad used to have them exactly like I did and he always just feels really guilty about it when he sees me going off, I guess that's a family trait. They're very much aware about them, half the ereason I'm on the meds is cause I asked when I was in like, grade 6?
I've had 'em more or less my whole life only been medicated recently :/ It's the closest thing a white blonde man can have to a disability i guess
we ended up talking a bit about it ( I won awards in high school for acting but that was [I]last year[/I] im not that good) and she basically just told me i was really really dumb and that she was infertile right now or something and it would take considerable effort for that all to happen but irrationality is irrationality isn't it?
I tried not to be too stressed about so she'd just think I was really dumb, and she does
and it's not terribly interesting or so but I presume it's a common thing for msot people who take meds like these to think they've gotten themsleves into a safe spot and they don't need to take them
I end up playing this game about once every few months and usually some event snaps me back
I'm really just dumb
And I loved the movie but it was an intense stressful movie! Not lighthearted at all.
Whenever you do stop taking psychoactive meds, you need to wean yourself off of them by gradually taking smaller doses. Your brain becomes dependent on them to function normally and stops producing as much of certain chemicals because it's getting them externally, so quitting cold turkey is not a good idea. It can take a few weeks for you to get adjusted to not having those meds in your system.
I hope you and your girlfriend don't usually discuss concerns like that. It's definitely frustrating being on the girl's side of that conversation, but at the same time, you should be able to discuss concerns like that without acting insulting or condescending to each other.
If you thought Silence of the Lambs was stressful then you probably shouldn't watch Hannibal, the main character has brain damage and the show takes you through all his hallucinations and other issues caused by it. It's pretty unsettling.
Not at all. I think she just knew I was being extra dumb and irrational today or something. She seemed a bit overwhelmed by nonsense today. She texted me later apologizing which is very like her. I don't know how it is the way she came to be but she's very afraid of proverbially stepping on toes and causing any sort of problems. Getting her to actually speak up about what [B]SHE[/B] wants to do, not me or a group of any kind is usually an ordeal, she's got this weird mentality that she has to please everyone else first and herself last.
and in another dumb way, I kind of like characters with mental issues. This is the dumbest example but Silent Hill 2 is my favorite game of all time since the whole plot revolves around a character being consumed alive by guilt and hunted by literal manifestations of his own fragile brain, and I can relate to that all too well
it's the same reason I like the big dumb evangelion thing. Depressed protagonist who feels inadequate hoo boy I've been there let me tell you
plus he has a boner for gingers! I can relate.
my friends want me to get with this girl, which I indeed am interested in her
the only problem is seems so shy in direct conversation with me, it's like I'm talking to a plank. Yet when I catch a passing glance of her with her friends, she seems like the center of attention
time to play my bass to relieve this stress
Maybe she's more shy around you because she likes you and doesn't know you as well as her other friends?
Pretty much everyone acts differently based on who they're talking to.
lean to play the guitar and woo her with that. Or just talk to her.
Woo her with the bass and be the real MVP :v:
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