• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46216919]dude it's october 12th[/QUOTE] Canada celebrates thanksgiving in the middle of October because we're fucked up like that
[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46216919]dude it's october 12th[/QUOTE] Thanksgiving is second monday of October here in Canada.
Oh. Well then.
Its a harvest festival so its different times all over the world
My god... Just went to D&D with my ex's friends today (he wasn't there of course). Felt like I was on The Bachelorette or something. Was just me and six guys. Everyone wanted to talk to me. Not planning on dating any of them (still waiting on Cap to visit so we can figure out where that's headed) but I'm loving the attention. Got a few friend requests on Facebook from them even though we've been playing D&D every weekend for a few months, and one of them was pretty smooth about coming up with an excuse to talk to me one on one.
God i hate having a crush on someone like its designed to make you feel like a scared pussy around [B]one[/B] girl, yet have no problem talking to other girls
If it's mutual, they'll usually find your behavior cute. Just make sure you're talking to the girl, even if you make a fool out of yourself - if you're forcing her to initiate conversation it will make you seem unapproachable.
That reminds me, I need to find a group to play D&D with. Hm.
Unfortunately my ex was our DM and we're now kind of struggling to figure out how to spend our Sundays. I think most of us have kind of agreed that we don't really care what we do, we're mostly just there to hang out and chat. [editline]13th October 2014[/editline] But if you're a good DM, come to north Texas and we'll talk.
I'm in San Diego that would be difficult and also I'm a terrible DM Why don't you just play D&D with them anyway? You said you guys are still friends, right? Now I'm just picturing you guys playing and him constantly trying to kill your character "I order some chicken for dinner." "*rolls dice* oops the chicken wasn't dead and after you eat it it claws your insides out and pecks your esophagus an [editline]13th October 2014[/editline] also if all of his/your friends are now hitting on you that's p shitty tbh like are they actually hitting on you and trying to get in on the rebound or are they just trying to be extra nice to you sine you just broke up
I think you misinterpreted my post. My ex has plenty of other friends and I don't, so he told them to invite me to D&D in the future instead of him. We're cutting contact (the only reason we hadn't earlier was because I was still living in the asme house with him while I tried to get my own place) so we're not both going to be going, it's just going to be me. They're not being direct about anything, at this point anyway. They're all just suddenly showing much more interest in me and talking to me a lot more than before (and like I said, trying to talk to me one-on-one or find excuses to speak to me outside of our group). None of them have done anything "shitty", but I've also made it very clear to anyone who has asked that I'm already over what happened and am quite happy at this point to have complete control over my own life.
Oh, I misinterpreted that then. It's good that it's working out for you. I'm really tired so it's entirely possible I was thinking about someone else's post.
Well I have a phone again. I guess it's time to force myself to flirt with girls for real now because if I end up actually hitting it off with someone I can keep in contact. Any tips for someone who's literally just starting out trying to flirt with (I'd say "pick up" but that just makes me sound like a douchenozzle) random girls I see throughout the day? [editline]13th October 2014[/editline] Is it good to watch simplepickup for tips or is that shit scripted like I suspect it is?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46227739]Well I have a phone again. I guess it's time to force myself to flirt with girls for real now because if I end up actually hitting it off with someone I can keep in contact. Any tips for someone who's literally just starting out trying to flirt with (I'd say "pick up" but that just makes me sound like a douchenozzle) random girls I see throughout the day? [editline]13th October 2014[/editline] Is it good to watch simplepickup for tips or is that shit scripted like I suspect it is?[/QUOTE] Ok, here's my opinion as someone regularly on the receiving end of this sort of thing. If a random guy talks to me who doesn't have to, regardless of what they're saying, I immediately assume they're hitting on me. You don't have to be direct about it, the fact alone that you're talking to a girl in the first place says that you're trying to get with them. You can say pretty much anything that you would say to start a conversation with a random person because the fact that you're expressing interest in this one person that just happens to be physically attractive is enough to get the message across. Just talk to them the same way you'd talk to others IMO, the only difference is that you might want to be a bit more goal-oriented if you're trying to get their number by the end of the conversation and have a time frame (unless you're at a social gathering, most people you meet in public have shit to do, so they're not going to stand around and talk for a few hours). Most girls who have gotten hit on regularly will know [i]exactly[/i] what you're trying to do regardless of what you say to them.
Hitting on random girls in public has always struck me as weird.
If you're cute and confident you can get away with most things. Just don't be the guy at Walmart last night who left me sprinting back to my car with an ominous smile and a "have a good night!".
I'm both of those things and I could probably get away with it but it still seems weird to me. Because really the only reason I have to talk to you is that eventually I would like to get you naked and do things to you and have them done back to me. I'd much rather find out we have at least ONE common interest and then work from there.
The fact that you're in the same place at the same time means you have at least a few things in common. If it's in class you can always start with class related stuff. I have one friend who I've been VERY pushy about talking to and when I started talking to him I usually used class-related stuff as an excuse to start chatting him up (like questions about stuff the professor said etc). It can be hard to find things in common to chat about, but in a lot of situations I'm sure you can come up with something. Some guy tried chatting me up because he thought the necklace I was wearing was smokey quartz and he was apparently really into geology or something. Get creative.
Oh, I misunderstood. Yeah, that's pretty manageable. But I meant just finding a random person in public and stopping them on the street to talk to them, or (even worse) walking with them suddenly. I'm confident but I'm not sure I can override my social anxiety to pull that off. Plus I'd just be annoyed if that happened to me, like dude come on I'm just trying to get to where I'm going.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46228116]If you're [b]cute[/b] and confident you can get away with most things. Just don't be the guy at Walmart last night who left me sprinting back to my car with an ominous smile and a "have a good night!".[/QUOTE] And that's where it all falls apart for me :v: Even though I know most girls don't care as much about looks as guys do. Might as well just not bother anyway because it usually is super awkward and like you said, most girls are going to know exactly what you're doing. So now I guess I'm back to square one with having nowhere to meet girls.
nah man im sure you're cute, post a pic also where do you live/how old are you/what do you do
[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46228381]nah man im sure you're cute, post a pic also where do you live/how old are you/what do you do[/QUOTE] This is pretty much the only picture of myself I actually like because it's the only one where I'm actually smiling or have a natural looking smile. It's like a year old though but I don't think I've changed much in that time. [t]http://i.imgur.com/rvmRSGv.jpg[/t] I live in a small-medium sized city in the most redneck fucking part of Canada, I'm 20 years old and I'm a university student. There's nothing to do in this city and my university doesn't put on any events that interest me.
you're not ugly dude come on even if you don't like how you look in pictures, it doesn't mean you're ugly, just not very photogenic which is fine [editline]13th October 2014[/editline] i look fucking terrible in pictures [editline]13th October 2014[/editline] [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/YI9S9Ay.jpg[/img_thumb] [editline]13th October 2014[/editline] god that's a bad picture actually why did i post that
But either way, I still feel like I'm extremely limited in places where I can meet girls.
Tae, you're not bad looking TBH. You should post a pic without your glasses - might be worth looking into getting contacts. I used to wear glasses and have felt way more attractive ever since I got rid of mine.
I might be hanging out with an acquaintance/buddy/sort-of-friend-that-i-don't-talk-to-that-much and making hip hop beats and stuff. I haven't hungout with anybody for an entire year now, and I'm horrible at conversation in general. At the same time being that I have no real friends anymore, this is my one ticket to having a social life again. What do I do to not come off as that weird guy nobody wants to hangout with?
And here's me since we're doing that? [img]http://i.imgur.com/26EaJ8z.jpg?2[/img] [editline]14th October 2014[/editline] AUTOMERGE
Confidence is weird because "fake it till you make it" is totally actually true a good way to build confidence and social skills is (weirdly) in restaurants. Just make small talk with the cashier if there isn't a long line behind you, hell, just reply to whatever they say because usually they say something because A) they're supposed to, I assume, and B) they're always bored just practice small talk and making eye contact (that's HUGE) and it'll help a lot, even if it's a seemingly inconsequential interaction
Self respect is a big part of having confidence as well. High self esteem is the difference between taking it personally when someone ignores you and assuming that they have their own reasons for behaving that way that don't involve you.
Man, I forgot to mention posture. Posture has a HUGE impact on your emotions. There have been studies showing that making certain expressions or adapting certain postures will affect how you feel. I'm sure you've heard that smiling when you're sad will help you feel better. Similarly, adapting a confident posture (a wider, more open stance, as opposed to crossing your arms/legs, putting hands in pockets etc) will make you feel more confident. [editline]14th October 2014[/editline] That, and people will of course treat you different based on how you present yourself, including your posture.
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