• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;46261857][B]Huge wall of text inbound. - grab a cup of coffee [/B] [/QUOTE] Yeah, it's tough. Over here I dropped out of my degree after a year because I got dumped. Picked up a job at a shitty retail outlet and spent a year getting screamed at by some awful woman. Picked up uni again but now everyone my age has graduated/is doing their thesis. It's a bit tough.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;46271742]I've been a bit absent recently, but this is me: [t]http://i.imgur.com/gQnimFE.jpg[/t][/QUOTE] call me
It's been a while since I've posted on this thread. I've been having some shit luck with dating sites, though, and it's getting me down so fucking much to the point where my depression is coming back. Since I joined dating sites... 1 girl that I dated for a month or two, had, not great, sex with once, and ended things with because I was boring. 1 girl that I befriended that I had a lot of similar interests with, had "fun" with once, but was turned off with her body, and had somewhat stopped contact with. 2 girls that I befriended but have stopped contact with because... fuck if I know. and countless other girls that I've talked to for a few days, and I've bored them away. Pretty much all I've gotten from dating sites is that I'm a pretty fucking boring guy. I honestly can't hold a conversation with a person for longer than a few seconds. This doesn't just apply to girls, this applies to everybody. I have the worst social skills imaginable, and I don't know what to do. I don't even message girls on dating sites anymore because I can't see anything happening with them. I'm even having a fucking hard time typing this up because my mind is so hazy and obfuscated. I can't form words or ideas anymore, and it's fucking killing me.
[QUOTE=Emugod;46275215]I'm even having a fucking hard time typing this up because my mind is so hazy and obfuscated. I can't form words or ideas anymore, and it's fucking killing me.[/QUOTE] Not to sound like a broken record here, but maybe you should take a look at your lifestyle. Poor diet and lack of exercise will cause this. Fix your diet and you'll probably find yourself able to think much more clearly and with higher self esteem.
I have to ask, what's a 'fixed' diet? If it means not eating junk food meals every week or pre-made meal frozen crap, then I must be idk. because I think that I have the same problems as Emugod. Pretty much I reckon I'm extremely boring to be around, My mind drifts often and my social skills are beyond inept. I wish I could keep blaming my parents for raising a social retard and hoping something magical happens, but that's stupid because I'm old enough to do something about it now... but I don't know what to do. How do I improve? Oh and sorry if the first part is rude
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46272844]call me[/QUOTE] Hmu
yeah that last part I'm feeling hard right now aswell, I want to so bad, but I have no clue what I'm supposed to do.
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[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46275483]Not to sound like a broken record here, but maybe you should take a look at your lifestyle. Poor diet and lack of exercise will cause this. Fix your diet and you'll probably find yourself able to think much more clearly and with higher self esteem.[/QUOTE] I don't have an awful diet. I think I do pretty good at eating fairly well. Since I've only just started cooking, I usually make "instant" packaged flavored rice and pasta (not ramen, but sometimes ramen as well). I try to cook my own food from time to time, though. But, with classes and all, I don't have much time to cook lavish meals every night. For exercise, I definitely need improvement. I try to get at least 1 hour of skateboarding in a day, but it's more like an hour twice or three times a week. I would go to the gym that's provided by my school, but it's always full of jocks and douchebags that hog the equipment all day every day. But, I have a pull up bar in my room that I have a routine for that I really need to start using again. I've just been lazy and busy with classes to start using. Well, it's not really busy as much as it is that I feel like I have no time to work out or do anything. But, it's mostly just laziness. I'm also not very good at managing my time.
[QUOTE=Durst;46276440]I have to ask, what's a 'fixed' diet? If it means not eating junk food meals every week or pre-made meal frozen crap, then I must be idk. because I think that I have the same problems as Emugod. Pretty much I reckon I'm extremely boring to be around, My mind drifts often and my social skills are beyond inept. I wish I could keep blaming my parents for raising a social retard and hoping something magical happens, but that's stupid because I'm old enough to do something about it now... but I don't know what to do. How do I improve? Oh and sorry if the first part is rude[/QUOTE] >what's a fixed diet stop eating fast food if you can, try to just drop soda because it's pretty shit for you, basically just eat the stuff you know is good for you but that you'd rather not eat. it sucks but it's not that bad once you get into the habit of it as for social skills, just get out there and work on them. i'm sure there's osmething about you that makes you stand out, so just figure out what that is and then you'll eventually find someone else who's either also into whatever that is, or is just interested in it. even if theyre talking to you to be polite or out of pity, it's still social experience
[QUOTE=Durst;46276440]I have to ask, what's a 'fixed' diet? If it means not eating junk food meals every week or pre-made meal frozen crap, then I must be idk. because I think that I have the same problems as Emugod. Pretty much I reckon I'm extremely boring to be around, My mind drifts often and my social skills are beyond inept. I wish I could keep blaming my parents for raising a social retard and hoping something magical happens, but that's stupid because I'm old enough to do something about it now... but I don't know what to do. How do I improve? Oh and sorry if the first part is rude[/QUOTE] - whole grains instead of refined carbs - eat more fruits/vegetables and healthy protein (chicken/turkey/fish/nuts > processed meats) - avoid food high in trans fat and saturated fat (unsaturated fat is fine) - look for foods high in potassium, calcium, iron, and vitamins a/c and low in cholesterol, sodium As for being a "social retard", your comfort zone will get bigger the more you push yourself to leave it. Exercise and diet will help with confidence, but there's no magic solution to it, you need to talk to people and feel uncomfortable in order to deal with it. If you don't like something about yourself, don't try to rationalize it, try to figure out steps to fix it. Personal health can be worked on. Social skills can be worked on.
I was probably one of the biggest social retards to ever post in this thread, and a lot of people here can tell you how much I improved. So if I can do it, so can you. I still consider myself socially awkward, but not to the point of being a complete and total social retard at least. [editline]19th October 2014[/editline] I still feel like I'm a really boring person with nothing special about me and that I have little if anything in common with anyone I talk to though.
[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46278807]>what's a fixed diet stop eating fast food if you can, try to just drop soda because it's pretty shit for you, basically just eat the stuff you know is good for you but that you'd rather not eat.[/QUOTE] I would say the opposite. Eating healthy doesn't have to be a super strict unpleasant thing, but on the other hand it's usually pretty obvious what foods are bad for you that you need to cut out of your diet. I've never adhered to a strict diet but I end up eating fairly healthy because I no longer get cravings for sweet foods. Instead of viewing it like a scary strict all-or-nothing thing, it's better to just understand basic nutrition and use it as guidance for how to improve your diet. One of the first steps I made in changing my diet was switching to whole grain carbs - it was a very small step but made a noticeable difference. [editline]19th October 2014[/editline] fucking automerge
it's not that it's going to be unpleasant, it's just that it's not as immediately rewarding as fast food is. long term it's way better for you but rarely will you get your food as quickly and easily. it's definitely better for you though. also seriously cutting soda is huge and good for you
Unrelated but I'm hosting a party at my apt today and I realized the other day that I have no idea what ordinary people eat. It took me three trips to Walmart before it occurred to me that people would probably want soda. So far I've made mint chocolate chip cookies, mocha ice cream, and pumpkin pie and am about to start on deviled eggs and pizza. Hopefully this is enough... [editline]19th October 2014[/editline] OH MY GOD AUTOMERGE
what kind of a party are you having? how many people?
Just a housewarming party sort of thing with my D&D group. Hopefully won't be more than like 10 people.
I'm not precisely certain if this is the right thread for this sort of thing, but here goes nothing. About two months ago, I got reunited with a girl I met way back in Middle School. It'd been three years since we had actually one-on-one talked to each other. I'd been transferred to the same class as her just by luck when she decided to leave AP English II. The day we met felt quite odd, like it was sort of supposed to happen, so-to-speak. I was sat across the room from her, we both made eye contact, and my mind just sort of clicked and I started to remember her. Eventually we had a class assignment which involved partnering up, so just for the hell of it I went up and sparked a conversation. We began talking, partnered up for an assignment, (barely did the thing because we were conversing so much) and eventually we started to near the end of class. I started to contemplate whether or not I bring things a bit closer and attempt to get to know her better outside of just school. So I did. I asked her for her number, and in a weird way she immediately jolted and seemed happy to give it to me. So we exchanged numbers, started texting each other, so on and so forth. We conversed almost everyday for two weeks. For the first two weeks, I didn't talk to her much in school besides the days we had our class together, but we talked a lot in them. Eventually, I'd found out from a mutual friend that she liked me back in Middle School, and never even told me. I'd been baffled. I asked her about it, and she confirmed it but never really added on to it at all. I left it as it was, didn't inquire further, etc. Later on - a few days later, she came to me talking about the fact that she was agitated. I asked her why, and she only responded with her exes name. It JUST so happened that she was planning on getting back with him - again. They'd gotten back together roughly four times, 3 out of 4 times was him pulling the plug for little to no reason. I said "Okay" and inquired further about what he was doing, and she gave me an entire paragraph about his carelessness and lack of sacrifice to be with her - he wouldn't put drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and so on to be with her, and that caused her grief. I responded with an entire word wall about the hindrances that this'd cause if they both decided to make something that would NOT work, work. She agreed, and actually appreciated it. This caused us to grow closer. Eventually, we talked about relationships in general. I talked about my ex, she talked a bit about hers and the fond memories. Whenever she'd be agitated about something I would give her a hand. Not to show that I wanted romance, a girlfriend, something of that, but only to let her know that she had someone by her side. I wasn't as interested in a relationship as I think I would be until later when I realized that she indeed liked me. We started to converse a bit more "romantically". She began to get possessive of me (in a POSITIVE way.) and I showed a bit of it back. We did both realize we liked each other and we both sort of clicked. From there, a relationship began to blossom. We weren't necessarily official, but it was all testing of the waters. A brief but official relationship wouldn't be beneficial for either side. So we had a half-on, half-off relationship. We began to grow closer and closer as we conversed. She even just impromptu grabbed my hand one day and held it as we were walking and from there we did so everyday. I felt great. I had someone who wanted me as much as I wanted her. It was an unexplained feeling. I have had quite a few girlfriends over the course of four years but they were forgettable or half-serious. Call me a huge "sissy" or something, but it was just unbelievable. It was heartwarming, strong. We remained conversing and I kept myself within her company all throughout her problems over the course of almost three months. Though, issues began to sneak up on her over the course of a few days. She began to grow sick of her living environment, school, her friends, etcetera. Her life had been an epitome of issues though she tried her best to not pay attention and she stayed happy. She could only do so for so long and it ended up centralizing to her downfall with indecisiveness. She ended up not knowing what she wanted in her life - and as a result, she didn't want a boyfriend, she didn't want to commit, or anything of the like. I was not of help by holding her down with my issues, either - as I had a lot of things going on in my life as well with my family. There came a point where it actually dropped her mood when I wasn't happy. We started to go on a decline. I realized that we may descend relationship wise if we tried for something that couldn't have worked; an emotional-minded guy with a rational-minded girl. There's a conflict in there somewhere, but who knows; maybe it could have worked. A while later she called everything off because of what was happening and we had started to have deep conversation about everything. I'd demanded too much when she was going through a lot. I wanted commitment, faithfulness, so on and so forth, and it was overwhelming her when she was overwhelmed already with other problems. Though, we agreed on something - if time brings us together, than so be it. I wasn't going to try anymore. At the time, it didn't get to me. A day later, though - and I broke down in school. I had to have my friends help me because I was losing my composure. All of it got to me, but I didn't tell her. I wasn't going to continue to bring her down, even after all of this happened. Now I'm here, sort of at an impasse. I want her to restore her faith in me, but don't want to proceed in hurting myself when she decides against coming back. I've been treating her just as another friend, so no cries of desperation at not having her. While it's extremely spirit-crushing, I'll eventually get over it. I am just not sure of whether or not I cut off contact completely, or stay with her and remain fully neutral. Sorry for the word wall. I'm just unsure about where else to turn.
[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46278996] also seriously cutting soda is huge and good for you[/QUOTE] Definitely. I cut soda for 6 months last year ( Shit, it was tough ), without making any changes to the rest of my diet, and I ended up losing about 50 pounds. Nowadays, I don't drink that much and I try to stay away from all sugary beverages. So far, I have been keeping the weight off.
So I know there's the overwhelming consensus of "just ask her out", but is a semi-formal dance this Friday too far for asking out when we sorta know each other?
just ask her out
Had three people over. Spent the entire night chatting and watching dumb videos while at least one person was passed out at any given time. It was awesome. Now to look forward to going to class after not getting any sleep. [editline]20th October 2014[/editline] And apparently sleepovers at my place might become a regular thing, so this is awesome. I have a group of friends to hang out with now!
I had hoped that this wouldn't happen but my girlfriend of just short of 3 years (our anniversary was next week), and I have split up. I'm completely heartbroken but in a way, I knew that it was going to happen. About 2 months ago, she left me for a day and there was no clear reason why, at least to me. She came back, and we made up and things carried on pretty much as normal, but I made her promise to me that if she ever felt the same way as she did before she left then, that she tell me so that we could talk about it. There was never really any communication from her about her feelings. I'd open up to her and say how I felt but it was never returned. Around a month ago, my brother and his fiancee moved back to where I live with my parents and now ex. They had moved away to England but run out of money and were left with no choice but to come back. She'd never really gotten along with my brother but we had no choice but to grin and bear it. Everything seemed to be going as normal as it could again though. But I noticed recently that she seemed to avoid anything physical with me as best she could. I never really could figure out why. Within the past couple of weeks, she'd put a password on her phone and ipad. I asked why and she gave me a bullshitty answer. I've had suspicions of her speaking to other guys about her emotions. There was a guy she kind of almost had a thing with before we started dating, and I know that she's been speaking to him again. There's also a guy from her new job (she got thanks to me), that she's been speaking to. She was far too friendly towards him and I didn't like it. I'd told her so a couple of times, but it never made a difference. She said before she left previously that she didn't feel the same any more but when she came back, she said she loved me. I guess it was a lie. The worst part of it is that I still loved her, as much as I ever did. She was my first everything, and I guess that's going to make this that much harder to get through.
[QUOTE=dcalde78;46285930]I had hoped that this wouldn't happen but my girlfriend of just short of 3 years (our anniversary was next week), and I have split up. I'm completely heartbroken but in a way, I knew that it was going to happen. About 2 months ago, she left me for a day and there was no clear reason why, at least to me. She came back, and we made up and things carried on pretty much as normal, but I made her promise to me that if she ever felt the same way as she did before she left then, that she tell me so that we could talk about it. There was never really any communication from her about her feelings. I'd open up to her and say how I felt but it was never returned. Around a month ago, my brother and his fiancee moved back to where I live with my parents and now ex. They had moved away to England but run out of money and were left with no choice but to come back. She'd never really gotten along with my brother but we had no choice but to grin and bear it. Everything seemed to be going as normal as it could again though. But I noticed recently that she seemed to avoid anything physical with me as best she could. I never really could figure out why. Within the past couple of weeks, she'd put a password on her phone and ipad. I asked why and she gave me a bullshitty answer. I've had suspicions of her speaking to other guys about her emotions. There was a guy she kind of almost had a thing with before we started dating, and I know that she's been speaking to him again. There's also a guy from her new job (she got thanks to me), that she's been speaking to. She was far too friendly towards him and I didn't like it. I'd told her so a couple of times, but it never made a difference. She said before she left previously that she didn't feel the same any more but when she came back, she said she loved me. I guess it was a lie. The worst part of it is that I still loved her, as much as I ever did. She was my first everything, and I guess that's going to make this that much harder to get through.[/QUOTE] I hear you dude. worst part of it for me now, is missing the physical contact. not the sex, but the cuddling up at night. don't know anything better than that. it gets better though, it's almost been a month for me and I'm starting to feel okay, just really lonely.
Sooo, I'm not sure where else to post this... My friend has a sexy looking red colored guitar that he never uses because he never found the time to play it. I got to sit down and play it and it felt like a piece of work; really high-quality and stable. He offered me something like 50$, or maybe even a bit less. I looked around the guitar to find the brand, and it appeared to be a Gibson. I thought the reason he offered 50$ was because it could've been used, but I got a pretty good look at it and it looked fresh off the line, never played before. I went home and did some searching around on what model this guitar was, and it apparantly the model is Gibson SG. Apparently these guitars are going for $1,000 to $3000 and my friend only wants $50 Should I just give him 50 dollars, run away with the guitar and forever feel guilty for realizing it's 30 times more than what he offered, or should I tell him that what he has is worth a lot and he should keep it? I'm pretty sure there's a term for this too
I'd say tell him it's worth more than $50 but that's all you can afford, and then it's up to him.
[QUOTE=Psygo;46286824]I hear you dude. worst part of it for me now, is missing the physical contact. not the sex, but the cuddling up at night. don't know anything better than that. it gets better though, it's almost been a month for me and I'm starting to feel okay, just really lonely.[/QUOTE] I think the hardest part of it for me right now is that I still love her. As much as I did when we first started dating and as much as when our relationship was at its best. But it isn't mutual. I probably shouldn't have asked her but I asked if she still does have feelings for me and she said not really. It really does break my heart to think that the person I considered the love of my life doesn't love me any more. I don't really know how I'm going to fill the time now. We used to text each other all evening after we'd both finished work, and we used to see each other at the weekends before she moved in with me earlier this year. Now that time is just going to be empty and I don't know what I'm going to do. I know that in time, I'll find things to fill the time and occupy my mind but right now, I just don't know.
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no he's saying he's been interested in you for a while
[QUOTE=dcalde78;46291425]I think the hardest part of it for me right now is that I still love her. As much as I did when we first started dating and as much as when our relationship was at its best. But it isn't mutual. I probably shouldn't have asked her but I asked if she still does have feelings for me and she said not really. It really does break my heart to think that the person I considered the love of my life doesn't love me any more. I don't really know how I'm going to fill the time now. We used to text each other all evening after we'd both finished work, and we used to see each other at the weekends before she moved in with me earlier this year. Now that time is just going to be empty and I don't know what I'm going to do. I know that in time, I'll find things to fill the time and occupy my mind but right now, I just don't know.[/QUOTE] yeah those are also really bad too, it changes a bit what you miss the most after a while though. yesterday I missed physical contact really bad. filling the time I still don't really know how to. I started watching some anime again and realized how boring it is, tried to pick up some old video games I used to spend time on and also realized how crap they were.
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