Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[disseminate]

[QUOTE=riku2211;40693393]Yeah I'm 17 and I've been dealing with several people older than me acting like children foe years. My mom's an absolute child most of the time. I know exactly where you're coming from and it's fucking unbearable. Especially when it's not a one-time ordeal, they literally seem to think they're still 16 and in high school, or that they are simply always right, etc.[/QUOTE]

My parents still treat me like I'm 15 even though I'm 19 in 3 weeks and moving out in 3 months.

I really don't need help going into the hairdressers, and I don't need a ride to my friend's house, nor do I need you to find me a summer job. I still appreciate the thought all the same!

I kind of understand what they're going through - I'm leaving in three months like I said - and I think they want to keep me around for as long as they can. They're going to miss me and I can't help but feel sorry for them; I'm going to miss them too, but that's life and I can't keep on being considered a child. I'm almost 19 and I think it's time for me to find my own independence: I couldn't be happier to go off finding my own misadventures instead of relying on the safety net that is my parents.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Disseminate;40693583]My parents still treat me like I'm 15 even though I'm 19 in 3 weeks and moving out in 3 months.

I really don't need help going into the hairdressers, and I don't need a ride to my friend's house, nor do I need you to find me a summer job. I still appreciate the thought all the same!

I kind of understand what they're going through - I'm leaving in three months like I said - and I think they want to keep me around for as long as they can. They're going to miss me and I can't help but feel sorry for them; I'm going to miss them too, but that's life and I can't keep on being considered a child. I'm almost 19 and I think it's time for me to find my own independence: I couldn't be happier to go off finding my own misadventures instead of relying on the safety net that is my parents.[/QUOTE]

Well those were the words straight out of my brain, only difference being I'm moving in two weeks.

[editline]18th May 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=blacksam;40693201]Aw fuck.
I feel like I am hitting a wall with my Ex.
I talk to her, I just feel like my old self worried about making her jealous or coming up with a romanticized future.
It just doesn't belong.
I feel like everything I worked towards with my friends is worthless if I go out with her again. She was nice. She was caring. She isn't the same. And yet I still feel extremely protective of here. She just has such a shitty situation right now at home and I feel for her.
She wants to start a relationship again and I kindly said I couldn't because I have a busy summer. That's true, but my family said they would never accept her back after she was so awkward with everyone and so possessive. Same with hers. I know her parents don't like me because she told me that.
She said it made her feel better to talk to me about things. I just feel like she emotionally drains me. I feel like I am giving off the wrong intention by talking to her. Like she strings herself along and thinks I want to rekindle what we had. For as gorgeous as she was, she had some huge issues with how she looked or how I was disloyal for literally talking to another girl in my class.
I don't know if I can keep talking to her without feeling like I am losing who I am to her. I just know how much poison she is to me. She claims she'll change, but I can't accept that because I know how emotional bargaining works.

I need a hug.[/QUOTE]

If she is being a problem and emotionally draining you, you should be noping the crap out of there. Theres no good in starting that again and if you feel like your probably leading her on then its better for both of you.

[Babyarm-bat]

Oh god, I was so ready to leave my parents house. You kind of have to so your relationship has room to change and grow, they couldn't keep their little love muffin forever, eventually I had to be a man muffin.

[paindoc]

so my sister (snooping little shit) is 99% positive some girl likes me even though I asked her out already and she said no. I don't really want to ask her out I'm fine being friends, she can ask me or be more overt (which she won't be).

anyways, the question is, is asking a girl out twice ever acceptable? I've been thinking about it and I have no plans to but I wonder what you guys think

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=paindoc;40708116]so my sister (snooping little shit) is 99% positive some girl likes me even though I asked her out already and she said no. I don't really want to ask her out I'm fine being friends, she can ask me or be more overt (which she won't be).

anyways, the question is, is asking a girl out twice ever acceptable? I've been thinking about it and I have no plans to but I wonder what you guys think[/QUOTE]

Maybe if it had been a long time away or you asked while she was dating someone else but pretty much a no is a no in almost every instance.

[paindoc]

Thats what I thought. I just need to get people to stop bugging me about "you still got a chance" or "just wait an ask again". Uh, no. Shouldn't have told them that she said she feels that way sometimes :/

[SaintBonkers]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;40684669]Soo, anyone got any advice on dealing with anxiety? I pretty much have an anxiety break down if I have to call someone on the phone, and any time I think about the fact I might be getting a call some day soon to go in for a job interview my brain goes into break down mode.
I don't really have panic attacks, at least not by normal description of can't breath freaking out. I can be thinking quite logically but i'm just locked down, and there's a definite panic feeling in my chest, my mind is running in overdrive etc, but i'm also very removed from it as a problem. I mean right now I'm having that problem, I don't feel stressed and I don't have anything to be stressing over now(did when I got home but that was 20 minutes ago) but it just won't settle and go away. Sometimes this happens to me for pretty long periods of time, and I get way too anxious about little things and mistakes.
Tried calm breathing but it certainly doesn't seem to help. So yeah i'm sure this will settle on it's own before I get much of a response but any tips on how to deal with anxiety waves and just how to stop being anxious about things you know you shouldn't be so anxious about and your brain just locks up and refuses to do even if you want to?

edit:
Also how to stop anxiety when you have nothing to be anxious about it just happens or wont go away.[/QUOTE]

I bit late but whatever.

I have the exact same problem, i'm afraid whenever i call my hairdresser to make an appointment.
But i have realized that you often underestimate your ability to keep cool during situations, so i just force myself into it. Most of the times things work out good, and when it doesn't, who cares?

As long as you got the message out, it's not like they're gonna remember you as that person who stammered and forgot what we were talking about.

The more you think about it, the more frightfull it seems in your head.
Just trust your instincts.

[Babyarm-bat]

[QUOTE=pansarkurt;40709081]I bit late but whatever.

I have the exact same problem, i'm afraid whenever i call my hairdresser to make an appointment.
But i have realized that you often underestimate your ability to keep cool during situations, so i just force myself into it. Most of the times things work out good, and when it doesn't, who cares?

As long as you got the message out, it's not like they're gonna remember you as that person who stammered and forgot what we were talking about.

The more you think about it, the more frightfull it seems in your head.
Just trust your instincts.[/QUOTE]

Anxiety's such a weird emotion, like background or weather

[johnsten]

looked at ex's facebook having mental breakdown this owns

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=johnsten;40721902]looked at ex's facebook having mental breakdown this owns[/QUOTE]

who is? you or her?
if its you that sucks man if its her you're a dickbag

[Heigou]

Bruv, this girl didn't want me no'mo, she deserves the worst life because I'm clearly superior to everything she'll ever have.

[johnsten]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;40723903]who is? you or her?
if its you that sucks man if its her you're a dickbag[/QUOTE]

i was having one but i'm ok now!!!!!!

[ramirez!]

Why is it that people hate their ex's? I mean, unless they were cheating on you or something. The way I see it is I wasn't meeting their needs, which encourages me to try and be a better man overall.

[Heigou]

I'd assume people hate their ex's because of some stupid feeling of entitlement.

[Behemoth_PT]

Dear Facepunch

~Today I got the number from a random girl in the train.

It was so weird yet so natural. I was feeling great and confident since I passed most of my subjects at university and have been taking good grades.

In general I'm happy.

So I was sitting with a friend of mine and since the train was half full we sat in different seats. So, I was smiling and all and noticed there was this cute blonde girl in front of me. She kinda noticed me smiling at her and she smiled back and laughed a little.
It looked so childish but all of a sudden it was like I couldn't stop glimpsing at her from time to time and she would glimpse back at me and smile. It looked like we were just teasing each other after a while.

So I kinda decided to break the ice and ask her her name, we chatted a bit, she's from the same city as I am, a little small talk and I asked her her number and she said she would only give it to me if I gave her my number. So I accepted the deal.

I'm very glad this happened because I've been kind of introverted and blue lately. I have her number here, I'm looking at it, I don't think I'm gonna call her today cause it's late but maybe tomorrow. But what do I say, what do I do. I feel like I'm 16 again.

[Heigou]

what's her number

[editline]22nd May 2013[/editline]

don't leave us hanging man

[Babyarm-bat]

Man LDR's are really hard, it's just for the summer but still. I feel really clingy wanting to have a constant feed of communication from her, Like I know that's not how it is in proximity but still.

Actually when we are in the same area we aren't constantly communicating, IDK why this should feel any different

[ScoutKing]

yes, please share.
We'll arrange everything for you.

[Babyarm-bat]

Even just getting that off my chest I feel better

[The Dude]

[QUOTE=ramirez!;40725581]Why is it that people hate their ex's? I mean, unless they were cheating on you or something. The way I see it is I wasn't meeting their needs, which encourages me to try and be a better man overall.[/QUOTE]

I hate my ex because she dumped me with the rationale that "she's got some independence issues and isn't ready for a relationship." Pure bullshit, turns out she dropped me like an ugly baby the moment she found out someone else was interested in her and then tried to lie and patronize me afterwards. If you're gonna ditch me at least have the decency to be honest about it.

[Sp]And admitting that I can't compete with someone who's "completely perfect" isn't exactly easy on the ego. I'd rather be an angry loser than a depressed one. [/sp]

[editline]21st May 2013[/editline]

Not to mention the fact she dumped me over facebook without saying a word to me about it.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;40732756]Dear Facepunch

~Today I got the number from a random girl in the train.

It was so weird yet so natural. I was feeling great and confident since I passed most of my subjects at university and have been taking good grades.

In general I'm happy.

So I was sitting with a friend of mine and since the train was half full we sat in different seats. So, I was smiling and all and noticed there was this cute blonde girl in front of me. She kinda noticed me smiling at her and she smiled back and laughed a little.
It looked so childish but all of a sudden it was like I couldn't stop glimpsing at her from time to time and she would glimpse back at me and smile. It looked like we were just teasing each other after a while.

So I kinda decided to break the ice and ask her her name, we chatted a bit, she's from the same city as I am, a little small talk and I asked her her number and she said she would only give it to me if I gave her my number. So I accepted the deal.

I'm very glad this happened because I've been kind of introverted and blue lately. I have her number here, I'm looking at it, I don't think I'm gonna call her today cause it's late but maybe tomorrow. But what do I say, what do I do. I feel like I'm 16 again.[/QUOTE]

this is so cute

[editline]22nd May 2013[/editline]

and miles away from what I would have the confidence to do

[JoeyZ]

I started this kinda phone relationship thing with this girl from a few states away.. It's better than being lonely, but you guys think that's healthy?

[Nikeos]

not if you just view it as "better than being lonely"

if you're genuinely interested in her and making it work however, a few states isnt really much at all imo. just be prepared i guess because not being able to have a physical relationship with someone really blows and it's very hard on a relationship

but on the upside if you can make it work through all of that, then congrats, you'll likely have a very strong relationship

[johnsten]

[QUOTE=JoeyZ;40736134]I started this kinda phone relationship thing with this girl from a few states away.. It's better than being lonely, but you guys think that's healthy?[/QUOTE]

probably... shouldn't get too attached if she's very far away.

but hey if she's truly special, LDR can work out.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=JoeyZ;40736134]I started this kinda phone relationship thing with this girl from a few states away.. It's better than being lonely, but you guys think that's healthy?[/QUOTE]

if you've never been in a close-distance relationship, you can't begin to know how much you're missing out on in an ldr.
and it doesn't sound like it really counts as a relationship when you're only pursuing it because "it's better than being lonely"

[editline]22nd May 2013[/editline]

but if both of you are cool with only being "together" so you can wave the phrase "i have a girlfriend" around then do whatever you want i guess

[editline]22nd May 2013[/editline]

and as someone who spent a year and a half in an online relationship before we moved in together, take it from me.. a long distance relationship is [b]not[/b] "better than being lonely". it is lonely and either you're wasting both of your time with a relationship you don't care about just for the sake of a dumb title, or you genuinely care about the person and are usually in pain due to the fact that you can't see each other and have limited methods of communication.

[Insulator]

This is a good place to vent, and I'm gonna vent a bit right now.

About 4 months ago is when this all started. I work at a major chain restaurant as a cook, and we lost about half of our staff during a major quitting season. There's mostly dudes back there, but my boss made a decision to hire some women (awesome). So 3 Mexican women get hired: 2 sisters, and a roommate of one of the sisters, I'll call her Helen. As the supervisor in the back, I had to train these 3 women formally. I started with the 2 sisters, and each of them began trying to hook me up with Helen. She's 2 years younger than I was and it was only her second job. When I trained her, it quickly became less of a training session and more of a flirting, sexual tension session. It was like this for 2 weeks until one day, while hanging out after work, we began to make out. We then began seeing each other. The only problem was, there was an ex-boyfriend who lived 3 states away who apparently treated her like shit. She told me she hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, but she had to see him because he is part of her family-in-law, specifically her brother-in-law's cousin (Big Mexican family). This was a red flag to me, but I chose to trust her and ignore it (fuck me) and she told me how she can't believe she met me and she's happy for the first time in months.

When we were together, she made me feel like I was her escape, and even went so far as to tell her aunt in front of me that I could be her future husband. She taught me Spanish, made work a better place to be, and was just overall an awesome person. I fell in love with her rather quickly, but I never told her. I sure made her feel like it though when we were alone together, I treated her like a princess, and in return treated me as a prince. It was the happiest time in my life....until

One week Helen stopped talking to me. I asked her on Facebook what was up and she told me her phone drowned in a pool so she can only communicate through facebook and at work for now. She came back to work on the weekend and was a little distant. That night she told me she might be moving about 20 miles away and she can't be with me. I asked her to do what her heart told her to do, as long as she was happy, and she said she chooses me. We got a little passionate in my car after that and I took her home at 2 in the morning...The same week she wasn't talking to me, not even on Facebook.

The following Saturday (last Saturday) was the last time I saw and interacted with Helen. She thought I left work, but I was just outside, and she went home.
She quit her job the next day, and when I asked her if she was coming in to say goodbye to everybody, she said no. That night I spoke to her on fb asking what was wrong, and she only replied "Just having some thoughts". That was the last thing she ever said to me, as she deleted her Facebook account (at first I thought she blocked me), and quit her job which cut her off from all contact. That was the end of it. The crushing blow came when I heard that she never actually broke up with this "ex" of hers. She was just using me to make him jealous.

[b]tl;dr[/b]

Girl (Helen) makes me the happiest man alive, then cuts off all contact including deleting her facebook, "drowning" her phone (not sure if this actually happened), and quitting her job where I worked as well. Then I learn she was just using me to make her ex(?) jealous.

Sorry for the wall o' text, I've never actually talked to anyone about this, so I figured I might as well type it off my chest. My point of this venting is, this is a recurring situation for me. All of my relationships have ended abruptly with no resolution and no closure on my part. I'm always left wondering what the fuck actually happened. This was a shocker for me because one day I'm feeling great, the next I'm more depressed then I ever have been. As quickly as the snap of fingers, I was brought from the clouds to the ground. I don't know why this keeps happening to me, I'm not a bad person, and I'm not too nice either. I'm not awkward, she was laughing all the time and seemed to genuinely have a good time with me; So why did she decide to throw me away like that?

[killerteacup]

Wow, what a horrible person

Sometimes the things people say and do honestly shock me, that's really shit man

[Mr. Hale]

-snip- Guess there is no other way.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=rider695;40739348]She's beautiful (at least a 8-9/10 and I'm maybe a 4).[/QUOTE]
Stop this immediately it's dumb bullshit, and [B]read the thread title[/B].

[Flapadar]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;40737410]Wow, what a horrible person

Sometimes the things people say and do honestly shock me, that's really shit man[/QUOTE]

Some random girl came up to me in mcdonalds and started talking to me, took a picture with me and then told me it was to make her ex (who cheated on her) jealous.

Very weird.