Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Remedial Math]

oh

well shit. sorry.

[Loopoo]

Literally the saddest turn of events I've read in this thread. I feel so bad.

[Remedial Math]

statistically it's kind of weird that we haven't dealt with something like this before with someone tbh

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46353233]He knew but he flipped out when I told him the detective I spoke to didn't consider my case sexual assault. He thought it was incredibly unfair and got upset because of all the shit that keeps happening to me.

After that breakdown I probably shouldn't tell him about the part where my dad acted like a complete jackass about this.[/QUOTE]

I haven't been here for a while and been reading your latest posts now and wow, a lot has happened to you lately. So you're single now. Not living with your boyfriend anymore, right?

It's when we're the most vulnerable that people take advantage of us, I'm just sorry it had to be in such a way.

As for you father and ex, you did well to tell them despite the reactions. Your father isn't an asshole. I can understand how shocked he got when he heard the news. Don't think he doesn't worry. Give him time to digest what happened, let him know you need help and avoid entering in a blame game with him. It doesn't matter who's right, one thing's for sure - the support of your parents is something you'll never want to miss.

Give your parents some time and give yourself some time to cool off and then visit them in person and talk to them. Tell them what you've been through.

As for telling people about what happened, you should avoid repressing it. Don't hide from accepting what's been going through with you with hobbies, like gym and stuff. Of course hobbies are great to boost your confidence, but they only do harm when you try to put them over something you must deal with yourself.

Counseling is a great step. Talking to people you fully trust is essential, but remember you don't have to talk about it to everyone, specially the ones who pry.

Calm waves don't make good sailors, and you'll find that out there there are fucked up people who will have no problem humiliating you, and toying with your feelings by making you feel powerless.
We have to learn to pick ourselves up no matter how bad we've been treated and keep going. Taking as much lessons as possible from what we got ourselves into and people around us.

I'm really sorry about what happened to you, I really don't know what more to say and I sure as hell don't wanna drop here any cliches. If you ever need someone to talk to look me up on steam, I'm online all the time and available to talk.

All the best.

[Guy Mannly]

Thank you, I really appreciate your response. The support everyone in this thread is giving me means a lot to me.

Despite what I'm going through right now I still have managed to maintain my sanity most of the time. What happened with my dad earlier angered me a lot, but for the most part I've been happy and thankful for the support I have right now. Despite what I'm going through, everyone else who knows about my situation has been sympathetic to me at the very least. I have a huge support system right now, I live somewhere where I feel safe, and my parents are taking care of me financially regardless of whether they understand what I'm going through emotionally right now (trying to make my dad understand the possibility of dropping my classes if it becomes necessary is a different story, but one of my professors had some good ideas for how to handle that). I've been through a rough situation but I'm lucky enough to have everything I need to find a healthy way to recover from this.

I keep getting panic attacks and I never know when to expect them, but for the most part, I've been okay. I've managed to keep myself distracted and on Friday I'll be speaking to a counselor again to figure out how to move forward in dealing with this. Right now I'm just worried about the people in my life who are too empathetic to my situation.

On that note, Captain America gets here at 11 tonight, so I'll have plenty of support for the next few days. He doesn't feel comfortable initiating anything sexual after what happened to me (and he injured himself while lifting like a dumbass a few days ago...) so I think we're just hanging out as friends while he's here, which I think is probably best for both of us right now if this is going to be anything more than just a fling.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46353762]Thank you, I really appreciate your response. The support everyone in this thread is giving me means a lot to me.

Despite what I'm going through right now I still have managed to maintain my sanity most of the time. What happened with my dad earlier angered me a lot, but for the most part I've been happy and thankful for the support I have right now. Despite what I'm going through, everyone else who knows about my situation has been sympathetic to me at the very least. I have a huge support system right now, I live somewhere where I feel safe, and my parents are taking care of me financially regardless of whether they understand what I'm going through emotionally right now (trying to make my dad understand the possibility of dropping my classes if it becomes necessary is a different story, but one of my professors had some good ideas for how to handle that). I've been through a rough situation but I'm lucky enough to have everything I need to find a healthy way to recover from this.

I keep getting panic attacks and I never know when to expect them, but for the most part, I've been okay. I've managed to keep myself distracted and on Friday I'll be speaking to a counselor again to figure out how to move forward in dealing with this. Right now I'm just worried about the people in my life who are too empathetic to my situation.

On that note, Captain America gets here at 11 tonight, so I'll have plenty of support for the next few days. He doesn't feel comfortable initiating anything sexual after what happened to me (and he injured himself while lifting like a dumbass a few days ago...) so I think we're just hanging out as friends while he's here, which I think is probably best for both of us right now if this is going to be anything more than just a fling.[/QUOTE]

You've actually handled this really really well. It sucks about your parents. Maybe your dad thinks if he ignores it it will go away but I hope he comes around. Captain America sounds like a super nice guy though

and your professor is right about school. Take the time off if you don't think you would perform your best

[mp3karas]

I need some advice... I'm 17 and a lot of my friends are really surprised when they ask me if I've ever had a girlfriend, because the answer is no. Funnily, I've never even actually kissed anyone. That's got to do with the fact that I've never enjoyed playing bottle (not sure if that's what you call it), especially with friends.

I've avoided serious relationships with people because of stories I've heard from a lot of my friends, how they've had their studies screwed up and their moods messed up just because of serious relationships. I'm very focused in schoolwork all the time since I'll be studying a very difficult subject in the future and I'm really afraid that having someone would ruin me. I'm a very sensitive person and I'm not really sure if I'd find anyone who would understand me at this sort of age, not even half of my friends take me seriously when I tell them I'm more serious about school than friends. I feel very lonely though and the companionship of some gals I've known for a LONG time really makes a lot of stress go away, so I'm sure a serious relationship with someone I already like would improve my mood, right? But I don't know... The complications and consequences scare me from stepping up... What should I do? I should also probably add that school is the only future I have. I live in a poor family and I've already made a future plan for studies and work outside of the country since I plan to fully support my aging parents in the future. It would be pretty depressing to have my future career dented or even outright changed just because of hormones.

[XUZUL]

[QUOTE=mp3karas;46360492]I need some advice... I'm 17 and a lot of my friends are really surprised when they ask me if I've ever had a girlfriend, because the answer is no. Funnily, I've never even actually kissed anyone. That's got to do with the fact that I've never enjoyed playing bottle (not sure if that's what you call it), especially with friends.

I've avoided serious relationships with people because of stories I've heard from a lot of my friends, how they've had their studies screwed up and their moods messed up just because of serious relationships. I'm very focused in schoolwork all the time since I'll be studying a very difficult subject in the future and I'm really afraid that having someone would ruin me. I'm a very sensitive person and I'm not really sure if I'd find anyone who would understand me at this sort of age, not even half of my friends take me seriously when I tell them I'm more serious about school than friends. I feel very lonely though and the companionship of some gals I've known for a LONG time really makes a lot of stress go away, so I'm sure a serious relationship with someone I already like would improve my mood, right? But I don't know... The complications and consequences scare me from stepping up... What should I do? I should also probably add that school is the only future I have. I live in a poor family and I've already made a future plan for studies and work outside of the country since I plan to fully support my aging parents in the future. It would be pretty depressing to have my future career dented or even outright changed just because of hormones.[/QUOTE]

If a relationship is stressful, it's not a relationship (granted that a few temporary problems might occasionally become stressful)
I was 100% like you till I met my girlfriend. She's supportive and keeps me happy no matter what. We've had a few problems but nothing too bad.
Having a girlfriend is not going to be an issue on your studies, it can be a way to relieve stress and study better. Don't be afraid of it.

[Rhenae]

In relation to above, dont be afraid of it, but dont just go searching for it because you think you should at your age or to try to help with your mood. A relationship should happen because you want to share your time with someone specific.

[Banandana]

lol I didn't go to class for the past 2 days and apparently shit's gone down while I was gone

glad to have missed it, had a wonderful time at home playing csgo

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/euehfm7.png[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/68KaZV6.png[/IMG]

aaand apparently one of the creeps at my university is taking a liking to one of my friends

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/7JCrXax.png[/IMG]

and I'm going to tell him to fuck off from facebook chat, I guess.

[editline]29th October 2014[/editline]

but really what do I do about creeps like this

I told people not to talk to this guy but they don't fucking listen, and then of course, this shit happens

[Taepodong-2]

Well it seems like every time I make plans with a girl they always seem to fall through. I know it's usually not my fault but it still feels shitty to never be able to make plans that actually work out with any girl other than one who doesn't even want to date anyone right now

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;46357785]You've actually handled this really really well. It sucks about your parents. Maybe your dad thinks if he ignores it it will go away but I hope he comes around. Captain America sounds like a super nice guy though

and your professor is right about school. Take the time off if you don't think you would perform your best[/QUOTE]

I just saw your post (been busy since Cap got here), thank you again for your support.

I talked to my mom earlier today about it and she seemed to understand a lot better than my dad did and apologized on his behalf. I haven't gotten a chance to call him back yet but from what I'm told he's pretty torn up about what I said. Having a hard time regretting it when it took him this long to take my problems seriously but I guess I'll sort it out tomorrow.

Right now it's really hard for me to gauge where I'm at in terms of dealing with this because it usually only affects me now in the form of panic attacks and I've gotten them a lot less frequently the last few days because of how far off my usual day-to-day drama is now that I'm with Cap 24/7 and have taken a few days off of class. Tomorrow I'm seeing a counselor again so I'm sure some of those difficulties will resurface, and I'm guessing I'll snap back to reality pretty quickly when I'm back to spending most of my time alone again. Might as well keep my mind off that and enjoy Cap's company while it lasts...

Also I've been laughing my ass off at the fact that Cap and I seriously thought we were going to hang out as "just friends" this visit. That lasted the first 10 minutes of the drive home from the airport... He's pretty much the World of Warcraft of sexual attraction, he's ruined all other men for me in that area (and his graphics are very well polished and his customer service is really above and beyond. And much like WoW, he'll probably be releasing a lot of new content next month once his injury heals. And he has the body of a Greek god. No metaphor there, just... holy shit).

Either way, I actually really like him a lot, and not just because of the fact that he lives up to his superhero namesake in bed. I think he's planning on coming back next month.

[Rhenae]

I want to see poctures of this sex god mannly your totally leaving us hanging here :v:

[Loopoo]

I'm just imagining a cowboy version of Chris Evans (cause I think you're studying in Texas, right?)

[Remedial Math]

so i found out that the girl i'm interested in does not have a boyfriend like i thought she did

so now i begin to apply the charm

[editline]31st October 2014[/editline]

because who could resist THIS

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46375280]I'm just imagining a cowboy version of Chris Evans (cause I think you're studying in Texas, right?)[/QUOTE]

He's from Nebraska (also who the fuck lives in Nebraska), so I'm the more Southern one of the two of us. Maybe one day I'll convert him. Took me two years before "y'all" started creeping into my vocabulary, maybe he'll get there eventually.

[editline]31st October 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;46375262]I want to see poctures of this sex god mannly your totally leaving us hanging here :v:[/QUOTE]

We've been trying to find a chance to get a picture together, tragically it's kind of hard to get one that isn't a crappy mirror selfie. I'll post some when I get a chance!

[Heigou]

Ho lee phuk, literally have nothing going for myself and I think I'm just going to join the army, please send help

[Remedial Math]

canada has an army? i thought you guys were all about being polite and syrup and stuff

[XUZUL]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46378595]canada has an army? i thought you guys were all about being polite and syrup and stuff[/QUOTE]

Every country needs an army, with things like ISIS around especially.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Heigou;46378414]Ho lee phuk, literally have nothing going for myself and I think I'm just going to join the army, please send help[/QUOTE]

Welcome to my life. I have no idea what to do with my life after I finish university so I'll probably end up enlisting as an officer. If I can get in shape that is.

[Heigou]

Let's get stationned in the same base nigguh

[Taepodong-2]

Of course the army isn't a 100% for me yet, I'm going to look at getting a job with CSIS first and if that doesn't work then I'll be more seriously considering the army.

[Heigou]

Losers reunite

[Meller Yeller]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46378278]He's from Nebraska (also who the fuck lives in Nebraska), so I'm the more Southern one of the two of us. Maybe one day I'll convert him. Took me two years before "y'all" started creeping into my vocabulary, maybe he'll get there eventually.

[editline]31st October 2014[/editline]

We've been trying to find a chance to get a picture together, tragically it's kind of hard to get one that isn't a crappy mirror selfie. I'll post some when I get a chance![/QUOTE]

Being from buttfuck nowhere Georgia, I have an extremely thick accent. I spent a third of the year in Dallas working for an ad agency and even THEY were amused by me.

[corkscrew_1]

Finally got the courage to ask my crush out today, got a "maybe". That's probably a no and I'm going to treat it that way, but it's hard letting go of those last glimmers of hope..

[killerteacup]

On the topic of just how fun it is to be a woman in this day & age my girlfriend has been looking for a house, and making inquiries. She responded to an ad yesterday asking a guy if she could do an inspection and meet up with the flatmates and have a look around yesterday

anyway the guy who made the ad got arrested today for sexually assaulting two women who came to inspect his flat. If she'd have gone there's a good chance she could have been raped. I can't fucking believe it

[Psygo]

beh, awkward long distance relationships, breaking up and being friends and other stuff.

so I posted a while ago in this or the gf thread that I lost one of my best friends who's also an ex because I said something stupid to her.

she broke up with me a while ago, and she wanted to stay friends, and she kept contacting me, and she brought up the topic of me and other girls where I got emotional and snapped at her and said some things that I shouldn't have said.

she literally told me to go fuck a sheep on skype before she blocked me.
but she's still open to talking to me on teamspeak, and also playing games like we used to, which I got her into.
I asked her about it and she said she doesn't want me to randomly contact her after what i said.

I don't really know how to react to it. in a way, to me, it feels like I'm being her friend, but without her being my friend, but I also know what I said hurt her, so I don't feel like I deserve much of her friendship.

I don't really know what to do.

[XUZUL]

If any relationship is mostly stress and barely any fun, it's not worth keeping. There are many more people out there that you can have fun with.

[Psygo]

well that's the thing, it is fun when we hang out.
we both laugh, we're both having a good time, but that's it.

I have a feeling a lot of the stressing part of it for me is that I have too much time where I do nothing so I have time to think about her.

[editline]1st November 2014[/editline]

my mindset is probably completely retarded. I think I need to somehow pick myself up off the floor properly for once.

[Loopoo]

sounds like a plan. hanging around in a friendship that is good, but where you still have deepseated feelings for the person is just a recipe for disaster. you'll end up getting emotional and snapping when she shatters your little illusion by getting a new boyfriend or making it clear you're friends and that's all you'll ever be.

If you genuinely can't handle the fact that all you'll be is friends from now on, and still have the hope of wanting to get back together, you're better off leaving it. you'll either have your feelings taken advantage of (they'll make you bend over backwards for them) or they'll get angry at you when you keep expecting it to be a relationship when it isn't.

can you tell us what exactly she said when she brought up the topics of other girls, and how you replied?