Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=Banandana;46470211]Bomber9900, go home.

Adventures are for kids.[/QUOTE]

This is not at all true. Adventures are literally the best. Only boring people would think otherwise.

[Taepodong-2]

Yeah, I'm definitely not in a position to be spending $150 or more on a fancy dinner. Besides, I'd rather do something to just have a fun time with someone rather than try to impress them with expensive food.

[Banandana]

I was joking about the fancy dinner thing

But for fuck's sake never take someone to McDonald's for a first date, just throwing that out there.

[Loopoo]

Why throw something so obvious out there? Cheers, I'll note that down for future reference.

Who honestly thinks taking a person you're seriously interested in to a fast food joint is a good idea for a first date?

[Banandana]

You would be surprised

[Remedial Math]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46470018]Seriously, is 20 still too young for you to at least pretend you're an adult and have an adult level of interest in other people?[/QUOTE]

i'm 22 and barely at that stage

[RidingKeys]

to be fair i never said not having an adult level of interest in people. You can do that without spending $150 on some shitty undercooked steak.

[Catshit]

Call me boring but I genuinely like the dinner & a movie cliché. Doesn't have to be the most expensive dinner (like a $150 steak the fuck) but just a place that both can enjoy that's pretty calm & casual and then a movie for funsies.
Also, cuddling up and playin' games or watching netflix is nice, too.

First date: Dinner & movie
Second + dates: Cuddlin' and chillin' wif games and netflix (and cats) and das it.

[Remedial Math]

i still think a movie as a first date is a bad idea

[Banandana]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46472578]i still think a movie as a first date is a bad idea[/QUOTE]

+1 There's no actual interaction when watching a movie to the point where you could be with total strangers and it's pretty much the same.

[XUZUL]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46472496]i'm 22 and barely at that stage[/QUOTE]

I'm 16 and kind of at that stage with the due limits, however everyone in my school isn't, therefore I get pissed at their stupid conversations.

[Vehk]

First kiss woo~

(Or first three kisses but woo~~)
~~~~~

[Remedial Math]

at once?

[Banandana]

That's some intense kissing

[Vehk]

Nah over a couple days but still, that's pretty mindblowing for me :v:

[Breakfast Buddy]

At 27, I have only had one relationship when I was 22-23 that lasted 2 years

Now, I'm starting to feel weirdly desperate. Not because I'm pressured NOT to be single, but because I keep wanting to share experiences with someone else long-term. I keep meeting cool girls but they are like 21-22 and in college and their lives are prone to sudden changes. I guess I'm looking for something longer term because I'm in to that but it's hard to find anyone in the same mindset

[XUZUL]

I feel like ranting, I need to get this off of my chest.

It turns out that apparently I always have to adapt to other people's needs while they won't for me or else I'm in the wrong. It's been like this for a long time and today I can't take it. I sacrifice a lot of my time on my girlfriend, prioritizing her instead of binding with my mates, but she doesn't. I'd rather be with her than any other but she also likes to be with her friends: while I respect that and agree with it, she would never make an exception to be with me once. I demand that she puts the same effort into this as I am, however she's not wrong when she says that I don't have to make such a big effort.
So there you go, the [I]n[/I] time I am always wrong either way.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Banandana;46472208]I was joking about the fancy dinner thing

But for fuck's sake never take someone to McDonald's for a first date, just throwing that out there.[/QUOTE]

no shit what the fuck kind of person thinks mcdonalds is a good date idea jesus dicks

[Banandana]

:v:

[Vehk]

-snip sorry-

[Taepodong-2]

Alright, guess I'm going to ask her out again tomorrow. Last time I did I kind of left it up to her what we would do so I guess this time it's my turn to come up with something.

[Daniel Smith]

Everyone on OKCupid who has the same hobbies are only looking to be friends. Is this is why opposites attract?

[Vehk]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;46479108]Everyone on OKCupid who has the same hobbies are only looking to be friends. Is this is why opposites attract?[/QUOTE]

OKCupid is kinda shit, just saying :v:

Try to look for people you might have things in common with in general, not just hobbies. Or you could just be friends with the hobby-alikes for now; you never know what could happen in the future.

[Rhenae]

You don't really need to have the same hobbies going into a relationship. just an appreciation and interest for each others hobbies. For example, bf is a computers guy, i'm an art gal. (although i've picked up coding and he has since made an adorable painting) we both appreciate what each other is good at and are interested in what each other do, although we spend most of our time doing different things.

You do need something to do together though, for us we both game so that is one of our major together activities but those can be anything you both want to do. Get out and adventure, board games, mutual obsession with movies, anything could work there and you don't necessarily know what a lot of your together activities will be going in.

It's a waste of time to checkbox off similar hobbies and activities you both enjoy, is the personality and interest in each other that's really going to make the biggest difference.

[Vehk]

-snip-

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=Banandana;46472208]I was joking about the fancy dinner thing

But for fuck's sake never take someone to McDonald's for a first date, just throwing that out there.[/QUOTE]

I took my now-girlfriend on a first-date to McDonalds on Valentines Day, it worked.

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=Vehk;46479143]OKCupid is kinda shit, just saying :v:

Try to look for people you might have things in common with in general, not just hobbies. Or you could just be friends with the hobby-alikes for now; you never know what could happen in the future.[/QUOTE]

Yeah I'm trying to get into hobby clubs so that might be better

[junker154]

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;46484103]I took my now-girlfriend on a first-date to McDonalds on Valentines Day, it worked.[/QUOTE]

I went to Pizza hut for the first date once, so romantic.

[sepu]

-snip it doesn't matter anymore-

[vlad]

long time since I posted here, but I'm in need of advice!

20th of September I was hospitalized at a mental ward for various reasons. been feeling pretty great ever since, no longer a boring introvert. though I'm having an issue with one of the girls who lives there (we're 5 patients, I'm the only guy). we hit off pretty well and had sex after the third week of my stay there. it was pretty rough to begin with since I wasn't sure what we were, were we together? were we fuck friends? I was pretty determined to not enter a relationship due to how my last relationship went, but I wasn't sure what she wanted. I decided to distance myself, re-connected with a bunch of old friends and ended up having sex with another girl. felt better, and then we talked about it and I got to know that she was uncertain herself. she told me she just wanted to have fun instead of a relationship, which was great! started feeling a lot better after that now that I knew what both of us wanted.

fast forward, I remember the weeks coming up after that to be pretty tame in terms of our connection. this week though, we've become much closer, or at least I like to believe it. we've cuddled every single day, tried to have sex (not very easy when this is forbidden during our stay at the ward), and generally had a pretty good connection. as I wrote above, we both live in a ward so it ends up as some sort of "forbidden love" which makes everything much harder. I get frustrated, they get frustrated, she gets frustrated and I damage my relations to the staff. you end up in this vicious cycle where you literally feel like you must have sex, which isn't easy to pull off under these conditions.

to top that off, I'm not sure what I want between us anymore. common sense tells me that it's a bad idea, but my feelings keep yelling that it wants something more. I feel that a relationship, especially with her, will slowly break me down emotionally and mentally. I'm not ready to get into another one after my previous one, nor is she the kind I'd want to be together with to begin with. I find her hard to read and unreliable. not easy to know where I have her. I'm not even sure if these feelings are mutual, since lets not forget that she told me straight out that she was in it for the fun. I said the same back then though, so who knows.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here. I'd love to have someone around to have sex with, but I'm not ready for the feelings associated with it. feels like the best solution is to distance myself again instead of further pursuing her, but at the same time I don't want to end this. even then, how do you distance yourself from someone you share the same house with? who you have to eat with during all meals? who you have to be with during mandatory activities arranged by the staff? it'll only create awkwardness and tension between us if I forcefully cut ties.

is there a way to turn my emotions off?