Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
m'lady
[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;46521915]I always feel like once you become a lady's best friend you have rare chances of becoming a boyfriend. I could be saying something very dumb but I feel like a woman's best friend is a boyfriend without the sex. Sometimes a best friend gets to know the person better than the boyfriend ever will. They're more open to friends than their lover.[/QUOTE]
High school dating and adult relationships are not the same thing.
i feel like eventually the person you're dating becomes your best friend, and if they don't then i question why you're dating them
like why would you ever want to be with someone your whole life if they're not like your favorite person, that seems weird to me
Yeah, I don't really get where the logic is in thinking that friendship is more intimate than a relationship. Friends ultimately live their own lives and might go their own separate ways, whereas in a long-term relationship your focus is usually meshing your lives together despite difficulties.
Like, I'm pretty sure my best friend who lives a thousand miles away who I speak to maybe once or twice a week doesn't know me as well as my ex who I lived with for two years (though right now he probably knows me better than Cap seeing as we only started talking a couple months ago). If you're living with your partner, or even just seeing them every day, there isn't that much room for secrecy.
[QUOTE=Plattack;46521608]Just got rejected by my crush! I admit I fucked up horribly by texting them to ask them out instead of doing it in person but I panicked when I remembered the last time a crush rejected me they said I waited too long to do it and I didn't want that to happen again. But on the other hand: I didn't clam up when they said no. I stopped, thought about how yeah getting rejected sucks but at the end of the day we're still friends, then kept talking. Maybe in round 3 I'll ask a crush out in time AND in person but for right now I'm fine with this since it's already going better than the last time when I stopped dealing with emotions for like 2 weeks after and then acted like nothing happened.[/QUOTE]
If you're clamming up being rejected over texting, asking in person may be beyond you right now. It'd be heaps more awkward if the deer-in-headlights act hit you after she politely turned you down. It's one thing to carry a conversation over texting (easier, too), it's another to keep it going in person when she's just said no. Just something to keep in mind. You could try asking out over the phone next time?
So I'm pretty sure my situation with my "friends" is exacerbating the situation with college. (See my previous post here) Basically its been a week since I went into no contact mode with them and I feel I have lost a lot of support as a result. I'm struggling essentially with my course for the second time in less than a month due to the workload and general boredom with the write-ups among other things which really impacts on my pace. Its getting to the point now where just talking about it can send me down in near tears and it really didn't help this morning when it was announced out of nowhere that I had to go to a maths class tomorrow which is adding more work to the pile and using up time I really don't have.
I'm stressing out.
Prom is in June, and I've been planning to ask this girl to that for a while now. I was just going to go straight up to her and ask. Well, apparently, she really wants me to ask, but she wants it to be like, a big thing. Extravagant, I guess. I have no idea what that means but her friend said something like a scavenger hunt or some sort of gift, just something creative.
So now I don't know how I am going to do this. I really need some advice.
just ask her and then if she says no because she wanted you to be creative about it, ask someone else
if she really wants you to ask then she won't care
People ask each other out 6 months before prom? Even weddings usually have less planning involved...
Ahhh, I reconnected with a group of old friends. We ate 280 chicken wings between ten people. RIP chickens, The Hound would be proud (fuckin chickens).
I miss people who are that genuine and down-to-earth. I've realised I need social pick-me-ups, they make me feel so much better about things.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46529038]People ask each other out 6 months before prom? Even weddings usually have less planning involved...[/QUOTE]
I wasn't planning on doing it now, just been thinking about how I was going to do it. Probably not until April or something.
[QUOTE=Duskling;46530000]I wasn't planning on doing it now, just been thinking about how I was going to do it. Probably not until April or something.[/QUOTE]
Just ask her out on a date beforehand so you can see if you guys actually really do like each other. Common sense would also dictate that if you're dating by the time prom rolls around, it's assumed you're going with each other.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46530194]Just ask her out on a date beforehand so you can see if you guys actually really do like each other. Common sense would also dictate that if you're dating by the time prom rolls around, it's assumed you're going with each other.[/QUOTE]
I already did that, about a year ago. We were going to start dating but her parents had some sort of problem with that(I guess they are really strict). So I just hung out with other girls for a while and then fast forward til now, she is still interested and I guess she can actually do it this time. I think the expects me asking her to prom to pretty much just be asking her out.
[QUOTE=Duskling;46530289]I already did that, about a year ago. We were going to start dating but her parents had some sort of problem with that(I guess they are really strict). So I just hung out with other girls for a while and then fast forward til now, she is still interested and I guess she can actually do it this time. I think the expects me asking her to prom to pretty much just be asking her out.[/QUOTE]
Some people at my school did those sort of extravagant prom proposals back in my grad year. Usually it was for people who were already dating, although there were exceptions.
Most common was asking out on the announcements or with a banner in the main entryway (mostly from the leadership team since they had access to this stuff way easier) but the scavenger hunts always did seem interesting. It would start with a note and there were clues like "where we sit at lunch" or "the class we met in" and there on the bottom of a bench or whatever would be a note to lead to the next clue. Neat, but over the top in my opinion. It certainly seemed like the girls doing it were enjoying themselves though so won't begrudge them that, i'd just rather save something like that for a marriage proposal if anything. Prom isnt that big of a deal
i'm not a girl but i feel like if i was and a guy who i wasn't dating hired like a pilot to draw "TAKE ME TO PROM JESSICA" (if i was a girl my name would be jessica, that is an actual fact) i'd be weirded out tbh
i messed up real bad and lets just say my hook-up doesnt want to hook-up anymore and i kind of want to continue us hooking up but im not sure how to go about rectifying the situation oh well on to the next i guess cause i cant see you guys giving any advice other then to just move on
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46529038]People ask each other out 6 months before prom? Even weddings usually have less planning involved...[/QUOTE]
I asked my girlfriend to prom before asking her out initially at the end of 2010. We went out for about 2 weeks in December and then she broke up with me. I think at the time she was just confused but we still went to prom together and got photos together and stuff, and that was the end of the January. I never bought a copy of them but I managed to get one off of her. Skip forward almost a year from that to October 2011 and we started dating properly.
I've been thinking about her a lot the past couple of days, but not the recent her. More the person she used to be back when we first started dating, cause that was when I fell in love with her, and who I fell in love with. I just wish she'd been honest with me.
[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46530569]i'm not a girl but i feel like if i was and a guy who i wasn't dating hired like a pilot to draw "TAKE ME TO PROM JESSICA" (if i was a girl my name would be jessica, that is an actual fact) i'd be weirded out tbh[/QUOTE]
Well yes if it is some random weirdo you never talked to it would be, usually its people who were at least friends for a while, generally already dating
I can't seem to find anyone, dating sites don't work and nobody would want to talk to me even in real life.
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;46537611]I can't seem to find anyone, dating sites don't work and nobody would want to talk to me even in real life.[/QUOTE]
From my experience, the key is to not "seek out" and try to find someone to date.
Be comfortable with your life, love yourself, and others will find you.
[QUOTE=psychojake;46537640]From my experience, the key is to not "seek out" and try to find someone to date.
Be comfortable with your life, love yourself, and others will find you.[/QUOTE]
Been doing that for a few months now and nobody would talk to me
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;46537644]Been doing that for a few months now and nobody would talk to me[/QUOTE]
Based on your post history in here, I feel like you may be putting too much value in finding a potential relationship. You have to give up that feeling of "ugh I need a girlfriend" and find some hobbies or something new to get involved in. When you occupy your time and build self-esteem, you will find that you don't need a relationship to be happy.
[QUOTE=psychojake;46537721]Based on your post history in here, I feel like you may be putting too much value in finding a potential relationship. You have to give up that feeling of "ugh I need a girlfriend" and find some hobbies or something new to get involved in. When you occupy your time and build self-esteem, you will find that you don't need a relationship to be happy.[/QUOTE]
That is exactly what I have been doing for the past few months but I still feel empty idk why
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;46537804]That is exactly what I have been doing for the past few months but I still feel empty idk why[/QUOTE]
What's your pitch? If a girl you're interested asked you "tell me about yourself", how would you respond? (You could also show us whatever you have written in your profile if you feel comfortable with that.)
that is the scariest question, i've always been so bad at that
It might give us some insight on what he needs to work on. I find it unlikely that he's content with himself and currently living a fulfilling life if he admits to feeling empty and unsatisfied.
[QUOTE=dcalde78;46531636]
I've been thinking about her a lot the past couple of days, but not the recent her. More the person she used to be back when we first started dating, cause that was when I fell in love with her, and who I fell in love with. I just wish she'd been honest with me.[/QUOTE]
Deep.
[editline]21st November 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46538119]that is the scariest question, i've always been so bad at that[/QUOTE]
Remedial Math can be a good answer :v:
I think my okcupid profile was just a ton of one liners when i tried it out, surprisingly it worked somehow
I don't like that question because it reminds me of the fact that I don't do very many interesting things.
"Tell me about yourself!"
"Well, uhh, I um...
Shit."
[QUOTE=joshjet;46539334]I don't like that question because it reminds me of the fact that I don't do very many interesting things.
"Tell me about yourself!"
"Well, uhh, I um...
Shit."[/QUOTE]
That's why I'm asking it.
If you don't have any interesting hobbies then you should probably start looking for some. There are more productive things to do with your free time than playing video games. It's important to have at least one interest with some sort of practical application.
Find something you're passionate about. If you're not happy with your answer to something as simple as someone wanting to know who you are, then change it.
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