Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Loopoo]

give her a lock of your hair (from the ass)

[Breakfast Buddy]

I feel like each time a relationship ends for me I care less. My most recent breakup I was like "oh well that shit sucks but whatever"

I'm worried I'm getting to jaded to even care about a relationship in the first place, but I guess that really depends on how awesome the person is.

There are very few people in my area, so It's definitely hard meeting new potential dates. Most people use online, even male/females friends I have, but there's only like 20 people on there. It's like musical chairs of awkward dating and it's all terrible.

[TehMentos]

Yeah I'd say a concert ticket and some kind of merchandise sounds like plenty. You don't have to shower your girlfriend in presents.
Obviously depends on what your financial situation is.

If it's simply a matter of adding something a little more "personal" than tickets etc. Why not write her a nice card to go along with it?

[5/3/4/3]

theres this petite/cute looking girl that goes on my bus, and i occasionally see her at school, but not often. i always see her catching glances at me from the corner of my vision, and when id look at something next to her, she'd look away

i dont know anything about her, hell, i dont even know her name, on top of the fact that i only really see her when i get on my bus. plus im not exactly the kind of person to walk up to a random person and start up a conversation, i usually find an opportunity, or an opening.

the only real thing i could do was; when everybody was getting off the bus, me and the others passing through the middle aisle and the girl stuck in her seat waiting for an opening to get into the aisle and off the bus, i stopped shortly to let her through instead of her having to wait

[Chaseymusica]

Yeah that's exactly it but I want to be the person to wow her with a much more personal thing than a card; my financial situation is relatively decent I have some money to throw.

I guess spoiling her would be a bad idea though.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Chaseymusica;46630751]Yeah that's exactly it but I want to be the person to wow her with a much more personal thing than a card; my financial situation is relatively decent I have some money to throw.

I guess spoiling her would be a bad idea though.[/QUOTE]

You've already bought her more than enough stuff, especially for a new girlfriend (how long have you been together?). Spending more money isn't going to make it more personal. If you really want to give her something meaningful, give her your time, your respect, and your full attention when you're together. Intimacy can't be bought.

[Jake]

[QUOTE=Chaseymusica;46630751]Yeah that's exactly it but I want to be the person to wow her with a much more personal thing than a card; my financial situation is relatively decent I have some money to throw.

I guess spoiling her would be a bad idea though.[/QUOTE]

I suggested this a few pages back either here or in the SGaS thread, I forget. But a nice(and also pretty cheap) gift can be as simple as throwing some brownie mix into the oven and writing "Happy Birthday" in icing on it when it's done.

Everybody loves brownies.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Glitchman;46628511]I feel like each time a relationship ends for me I care less. My most recent breakup I was like "oh well that shit sucks but whatever"

I'm worried I'm getting to jaded to even care about a relationship in the first place, but I guess that really depends on how awesome the person is.

There are very few people in my area, so It's definitely hard meeting new potential dates. Most people use online, even male/females friends I have, but there's only like 20 people on there. It's like musical chairs of awkward dating and it's all terrible.[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty much the same way, regardless of how a relationship is going. I'm never really worried about breakups, my stance is that if we break up it's probably because we aren't compatible or have too many issues for it to be worth trying to fix them. I've learned that it's more pain in the long run to try and cling to a relationship where one of you has already lost interest.

I think it can be a good or a bad thing - it's good not to be too emotionally invested in every person you meet (though of course it's ideal that you're on the same level of emotional investment), but at the same time there are plenty of relationships that are worth fixing instead of giving up on. From my experience, the only time you should give up is if you're truly indifferent to the person.

[Flumbooze]

[QUOTE=Chaseymusica;46623778]Okay boys, here's the deal.

I need some assistance on what the hell to get my new girlfriend for Christmas and her birthday which is on January 2nd. I know that since she's into bands and the same music as me and such, I'm getting her tickets to a concert as well as some merchandise. I also want to get her something really meaningful and affectionate though that doesn't have much emphasis on the material rather than the emotional value. Save me folks![/QUOTE]

Same question, except she's not into music at all (well, at least not actively) and I still haven't really found anything yet. In my case, it's only a present for Christmas though. I don't want to buy something overly expensive, I just want to give her something she'll enjoy for a while.

[Guy Mannly]

Guys...
If you want to get someone a personal gift, asking people who don't even know the person the gift is for isn't going to help. The only suggestions you'll get are generic "one-size-fits-all" sorts of things.

[Banandana]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46631802]Guys...
If you want to get someone a personal gift, asking people who don't even know the person the gift is for isn't going to help. The only suggestions you'll get are generic "one-size-fits-all" sorts of things.[/QUOTE]

The inside jokes and cleverness of gifts are what make them special, not a card with 'Happy Birthday' or something written in it. It's too generic, as Guy said.

[Taepodong-2]

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm most likely one of those people who's meant to be single for their whole life. I mean fuck, I'm almost 21 and I've never even done anything as insignificant as hold hands with a girl. I think it might be time to just throw in the towel and give up because I'm clearly just that undesirable. Sorry for disappointing you all by making progress and then reverting back to my old self.

Maybe I'll end up transferring universities and see if it's a different environment I need or something. I feel like that could help me.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46632172]I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm most likely one of those people who's meant to be single for their whole life. I mean fuck, I'm almost 21 and I've never even done anything as insignificant as hold hands with a girl. I think it might be time to just throw in the towel and give up because I'm clearly just that undesirable. Sorry for disappointing you all by making progress and then reverting back to my old self.

Maybe I'll end up transferring universities and see if it's a different environment I need or something. I feel like that could help me.[/QUOTE]

The problem isn't that you're single, the problem is that you're obsessed with finding a relationship. There are plenty of people who are more than happy being on their own and don't actively search for a partner. You're not going to be "single for your whole life", you're just so desperate for a relationship right now that you're probably driving people away. You're absolutely making progress, but there's always room to improve - don't let yourself think that this is your endpoint and that if you can't attract a partner now, you never will.

The fact that your self-esteem is tied to how others view you says a lot about your situation. You need to start looking at yourself and considering what [i]you[/i] want rather than just trying to reflect what other people want. Every time you have posted here, anything you've said about yourself was only there because you had the single-minded target of attracting women. You need to try to stop thinking about what will make another person interested in you and start thinking about what interests you personally. It doesn't matter how nerdy or boring it is, it doesn't matter if people are going to judge you for it, all that matters is that you have something you're passionate about.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46632242]
The fact that your self-esteem is tied to how others view you says a lot about your situation. You need to start looking at yourself and considering what [i]you[/i] want rather than just trying to reflect what other people want. Every time you have posted here, anything you've said about yourself was only there because you had the single-minded target of attracting women. You need to try to stop thinking about what will make another person interested in you and start thinking about what interests you personally. It doesn't matter how nerdy or boring it is, it doesn't matter if people are going to judge you for it, all that matters is that you have something you're passionate about.[/QUOTE]
This is where I get fucked. I have things I'm passionate about, but I'm too embarrassed to talk about them. Like, I'm a gamer. Ok, plenty of those around. Except none of them seem to be into the same types of games as me, like I barely play anything other than Arma 3 these days and most people I talk to don't even know what that is, so I don't talk about games even with people I know like games.

I'm interested in guns. Bad enough in the eyes of liberal Canadian college students, even worse because I'm one of those kinds of people who knows a lot about guns despite not owning one because I'm too lazy to go get my firearms license. So I don't talk about guns because everyone thinks guns are bad.

So yeah, I have things I'm interested in, I'm just super embarrassed to talk about my interests with anyone.

[Otsegolation]

[QUOTE=Chaseymusica;46630751]Yeah that's exactly it but I want to be the person to wow her with a much more personal thing than a card; my financial situation is relatively decent I have some money to throw.

I guess spoiling her would be a bad idea though.[/QUOTE]

I have a new girlfriend, and I have spent $0 to get her, and nothing on dates so far. It doesn't matter what we have or where we are, as long as we are together, it is a fucking amazing time, because the most valuable thing we have is each other, not all these petty distractions and possessions that money can buy.

[Taepodong-2]

So I ran into that girl from my class I went out with a couple times when I went to the library to finish a paper. So we had a quick conversation and I asked if we were still going to see each other next semester because she wasn't sure if she was going to go to class tomorrow. And she said that yes, she does still want to and she told me to text her over the Christmas break. I feel better now.

But before you all say anything, yes, I do know this is no way means we're officially dating or that we're a couple or anything and I don't know if that's even where it's going to go.

[blerb]

[URL="http://imgur.com/ojbgagF"]How should I style/cut my hair?[/URL] I can provide some side pics if needed.

[blerb]

I guess i should have been a bit more specific

I'm gonna be getting it cut soon, but my problem is that i can't seem to find a style i like. Any time i cut it short i find it looks silly (here's a [URL="http://imgur.com/v5cMiHz"]pic[/URL], it's the best I've got right now) i wouldn't mind keeping it the length it is now, problem is i really dont know if i look good with it like this

For reference, i usually throw in some pomade when it's wet and comb it to the side

So basically i wanna know what people think i should do with it

[disseminate]

[QUOTE=blerb;46634545]Any time i cut it short i find it looks silly (here's a [URL="http://imgur.com/v5cMiHz"]pic[/URL], it's the best I've got right now) i wouldn't mind keeping it the length it is now, problem is i really dont know if i look good with it like this[/QUOTE]

Dude, you look great with that. I'd fix up the bangs (on either length) a little bit and condition a bit more but other than that you look really great.

[I Am Dumb]

I really could use some advice right now, sorry in advance this is going to be a long read.

I'm in love with a girl, she doesn't feel the same way. I asked her out a few months ago and she pretty much told me it was bad timing.

We've been able to stay friends and hang out every now and then. She used to talk with me all the time, but recently I told her that I miss her and she said she wanted to hang out with me. I have been really busy with work and couldn't that night so I asked her what her plans were on a day I was off. She ignored my question and when I asked her if she was okay she said she's working every night this week and can only hang out during the day, which doesn't work with my schedule at all.

I told her to let me know when she can get a day off so we could have a party or something, again she completely ignored me, she's never been this way before, and I don't know if I said something to anger her but I feel like shit.

I've been trying to think of ways to express how much I love her. I don't expect her to reciprocate, but just need to try my best, I really don't want to regret not giving it all I can. Knowing myself, I'll be sad about it for years if I don't.

A few days ago I found out through a friend that she is moving away, which she didn't tell me of course. I'm really at a loss with what to do because I feel like I need to get this off my chest but I don't want to pester her. It makes me really sad that she's not only moving, but that she isn't even talking to me anymore, over what seems like nothing, but maybe I'm just ignorant.

Thank you for reading, any advice is really appreciated.

[Loopoo]

She doesn't like you back, albeit with the phrasing "it's bad timing". Move on. Giving it your all is just a bad move, because she wants to be friends, not more than that.

Your showing her how much you love her isn't going to make her think "Oh hey forget the bad timing I'm gonna date this dude".

And she's moving away to top it all off, getting it off your chest is selfish as fuck and just puts her in an awkward position. There's no need for you to get it off your chest. You've told her in the past you like her, or love her, and she said she doesn't feel the same way. I hope you're not overly clingy in life and send her hundreds of messages a day, cause that isn't gonna help you.

If I were you, I'd just let it go (now Frozen is stuck in my head fuck), move on and try to get over it. You're silly if you let yourself get dragged down by this, especially since there's literally no way for you to make a relationship with this girl work.

I highly doubt 90-year-old you is gonna look back at this and think "Gosh darn it I wish when I was a young whippersnapper I tried even harder to let a girl know I love her when she already told me she wasn't interested"

[I Am Dumb]

I agree, but when I asked her out, in retrospect it wasn't very flattering, and it's not like this girl didn't have an interest in me before, I know she did. Like I said I'm not expecting her to change her mind, and I don't believe that it's selfish to explain the way I feel to someone.

[Loopoo]

It is when it's gonna put them in a position of having to turn you down again, especially since there's literally no light at the end of the tunnel. She's moving away. It's just unnecessary.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=I Am Dumb;46639775]I agree, but when I asked her out, in retrospect it wasn't very flattering, and it's not like this girl didn't have an interest in me before, I know she did. Like I said I'm not expecting her to change her mind, and I don't believe that it's selfish to explain the way I feel to someone.[/QUOTE]

When someone turns you down, they aren't saying "I dunno, try again later", they're saying no. You don't keep pestering them after you've gotten that no unless they come after you first. She's probably stopped talking to you because she realizes that you aren't accepting that she's already rejected you. You've demonstrated to her that you aren't capable of being "just friends".

[editline]4th December 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=I Am Dumb;46639137]I've been trying to think of ways to express how much I love her. I don't expect her to reciprocate, but just need to try my best, I really don't want to regret not giving it all I can. Knowing myself, I'll be sad about it for years if I don't.[/QUOTE]

I hate that this mentality of "giving it all you can" is so popular. If someone turns you down, you leave it at that. Continuing to harass someone after being turned down is NOT a good strategy. If you actually "love" this girl, you'll respect her boundaries and stop trying to break them even after she's made them clear to you.

[Remedial Math]

i'm usually bad at reading signals but i picked up on a few tonight which means they've been super obvious and numerous and i'm just now receiving them

the girl is super cute and also hilarious which are two important things for me (yes that is vaguely shallow and i don't care) and she's clearly into me so as long as i can manage to not somehow fuck this up, i should be good

here's hoping yo

[PandaJuggernaut]

Jesus Christ this next 2 weeks is gonna be long.....Why is it that when i'm single I might as well be a fucking monk in the goddamn Sahara but when I got a girl and everything is going great and i'm happy bitches come out the woodwork like goddamn dick zombies trying to fuck up the program.

Little bit of backstory. Before I got with my GF her cousin had a very obvious crush on me but she was getting married so off limits........until I had a wee bit too much of the sauce one night and well WHOOPS. This was never spoken of again she got married and moved okay crisis averted didn't fuck up an engagement go me

Okay fast forward to tonight my GF's cousin is down for the next 2 weeks me my GF the cousin and a couple of my friends are all drinking.

Earlier in the night I made an offhand comment to the Gf about how yoga pants are pretty much gods gift to man within earshot of the cousin. My GF went out for more alcohol and it was like a goddamn starting gun went off the cousin gets up goes into the other room and puts on the fucking tiniest pair of yoga shorts i've ever seen at this point it's only me my friend and now the cousin in the room she goes the long way round the couch which happens to be were i'm sitting so I get an eyeful of ass and what passes for shorts she sits next to me whispers "you like?" under her breath. it's about this time I get up muttering something bout forgetting to turn off the sun and fucking hightail it to the closest room with more witnesses GF gets back bout 20 minutes later and the cousin acts like a damn saint

anyone wanna throw some advice my way cause my first instinct is to tell my girl but I also don't wanna start WW3:Super Cousin Fight

TL:DR
Foul demon temptress and the yoga shorts of doom tryna fuck it all up

[Loopoo]

-I should stop doing this-

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=PandaJuggernaut;46643267]Jesus Christ this next 2 weeks is gonna be long.....Why is it that when i'm single I might as well be a fucking monk in the goddamn Sahara but when I got a girl and everything is going great and i'm happy bitches come out the woodwork like goddamn dick zombies trying to fuck up the program.

Little bit of backstory. Before I got with my GF her cousin had a very obvious crush on me but she was getting married so off limits........until I had a wee bit too much of the sauce one night and well WHOOPS. This was never spoken of again she got married and moved okay crisis averted didn't fuck up an engagement go me

Okay fast forward to tonight my GF's cousin is down for the next 2 weeks me my GF the cousin and a couple of my friends are all drinking.

Earlier in the night I made an offhand comment to the Gf about how yoga pants are pretty much gods gift to man within earshot of the cousin. My GF went out for more alcohol and it was like a goddamn starting gun went off the cousin gets up goes into the other room and puts on the fucking tiniest pair of yoga shorts i've ever seen at this point it's only me my friend and now the cousin in the room she goes the long way round the couch which happens to be were i'm sitting so I get an eyeful of ass and what passes for shorts she sits next to me whispers "you like?" under her breath. it's about this time I get up muttering something bout forgetting to turn off the sun and fucking hightail it to the closest room with more witnesses GF gets back bout 20 minutes later and the cousin acts like a damn saint

anyone wanna throw some advice my way cause my first instinct is to tell my girl but I also don't wanna start WW3:Super Cousin Fight

TL:DR
Foul demon temptress and the yoga shorts of doom tryna fuck it all up[/QUOTE]

Have you tried just telling the cousin you are not ok with this and dont want to mess up your relationship?

I probably wouldnt tell your gf for now... i kike being able to communicate everything with a partner but there are some things that just shouldnt come up i think.

[Rossy167]

So I think I may have a (subconscious) habit of completely excommunicating girls once I develop a thing for them by becoming for to nervous to so much as talk to them since my first (and so far last) pathetic childish relationship. Anyway, I did this to someone I was actually quite good friends with and we haven't spoken in a good few months now.

Honestly I'm too nervous to just say 'hi' especially after just stopping talking to her for what either seemed to her like no reason or the reason above. Possible she simultaneously allowed us to drift apart because at the time I was planning on leaving school/going to sixth form anyway.

Sounds pathetic but do you guys have tips on getting over this fucking anxiety this has really been getting me down recently it's got to the point where my only properly close friend is a guy I've known for my entire life, seeing as to an extent this has an effect on all my friendships?

Also it's not really about her, it's about me and getting over this bullshit so I can have normal functional friendships. I don't really have a shot with her, I just miss having more than one good friend.

I actually posted about this a long while ago here, got one dumb and snipped, but whatever.

[B]TL:DR[/B]

I am a generally nervous person that hides it well and I'm fucking fed up of destroying all my friendships. How do I get over this anxiety? I know there's no quick fix but anything helps.

[Protocol7]

I need help.

I am in a perfectly healthy relationship. Without getting into pointless drivel, well, with some communication with others, I learned my girlfriend is expecting me to propose soon. Which makes sense since she's been showing me rings and shit.

I love this woman. I really do. I just don't think I'm ready to propose to someone when I'm only 21. I want to make this clear to her without hurting her feelings. What's the best way to approach this?