Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Banandana]

Don't go on a date to see American Sniper unless she's into that sort of stuff.

I'd ask her what she wants to do instead.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Banandana;46814523][b]Don't go on a date to see American Sniper unless she's into that sort of stuff.[/b]

I'd ask her what she wants to do instead.[/QUOTE]
No shit I'm not doing that. I still have another week or so to think about this so I'll likely come up with something better.

[Behemoth_PT]

If she's into action movies, dude, she's a keeper.

[SundayRoast]

Oh joy!
I finally ordered the train ticket to go up north to see her.

Although I'm a bit nervous about the trip.
And well so is she. Because she's going back to her studying apartment.
Thing is that the apartments rent is split between her and her ex. :tinfoil:
And she's said that she is a bit afraid of having to move back in with her ex.

Fortunately (I guess) her ex is a girl too, so I doubt I'll get beat up.
Funny thing, I haven't talked with her trough any medium yet that contains voice (her phone breaking after falling out of her pocket didn't help either), but I have spoken with her ex on the phone on the night of their break-up. Whom said that she's happy for her ex to have at least someone to talk with.

But still :tinfoil:
Although, she did call off two other dates whom had asked her out and then was direct with me :v:
No use spazzing out about it now.

I just had to vent as things seem now like I'm going to be in a LDR with someone whom I wouldn't exactly describe as an easy person, but whom still is dear to me.

P.S. I should probably try to find a replacement phone for her (as we have quite a few old spares).

[BackSapper]

I've probably asked this twice or three times, but how do I meet people locally?

Being in Southern Alberta sucks, as it seems the only thing that everyone has in common with eachother is drinking. The gaming events that are local in Calgary look like a lot of fun, but I have no one to go with and I feel going in alone to meet people is awkward as fuck for me. Being that I am autistic, going somewhere where I don't have a common friend to hang out with makes me feel like I am a complete introvert where the last time I did something like this, I had a blast even though I didn't really meet anyone close to my interests.

[Electrical]

And still the lying continues.

Back when she had dumped me, she assured things would be fine and that we'd go back to being friends with me, and that I was basically her only friend, which I knew at that point was a lie.

Well, turned out to be worse than I had expected, because she absolutely won't stop lying now, and it's constant. She lies about work, school, everything, and it's really starting to wear me down... seeing as we've known eachother for 4 years before even getting together... All of this is brand new to me, I don't know why she did it and why she keeps doing it, and I'm just not sure how to feel anymore, it's really upsetting me and I'm really feeling like I'm about to cry..

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=BackSapper;46817674]I've probably asked this twice or three times, but how do I meet people locally?

Being in Southern Alberta sucks, as it seems the only thing that everyone has in common with eachother is drinking. The gaming events that are local in Calgary look like a lot of fun, but I have no one to go with and I feel going in alone to meet people is awkward as fuck for me. Being that I am autistic, going somewhere where I don't have a common friend to hang out with makes me feel like I am a complete introvert where the last time I did something like this, I had a blast even though I didn't really meet anyone close to my interests.[/QUOTE]
Where in southern Alberta are you? I'm in Lethbridge and I can 100% sympathize with you. Just seems like everyone around here who's my age just wants to drink.

[Remedial Math]

There's a reason the internet's three rules of breakups are:

1) Break all contact
2) Contact a lawyer
3) Hit the gym

2 really only applies if you own property together or if she breaks your shit but 1 and 3 are vital, and you didn't do 1. why didn't you do 1

i told you about those [del]stairs[/del] girls bro, i warned you dog

[BackSapper]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46819006]Where in southern Alberta are you? I'm in Lethbridge and I can 100% sympathize with you. Just seems like everyone around here who's my age just wants to drink.[/QUOTE]

Airdrie. If you're not drinking out here, you're doing drugs :/

[Remedial Math]

sounds like you have your answer for how to meet girls

[dcalde78]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46819236]
1) Break all contact[/QUOTE]

I didn't think I needed to do this at first so I kept my ex on all social media and everything, which was a bad choice. I've only really started making progress since I've cut all possible contact with her. She got a new phone a few weeks ago and sent out a message saying she had a new number (I assume this went to everyone in her contacts and not just me). I've kept that should I have a need to talk to her for whatever reason (I doubt I'll need to any more though), but I have no other contact at all.

I do miss her, and her family but it's the only way that I'm going to be able to move on and I've realised that. At the moment I've got zero motivation to do anything at all which sucks. On the plus side, I've got great friends that can help me out whenever I need it.

[Remedial Math]

no one ever thinsk they need to do it and then this shit happens

also if you have no motivation then you need to do number 3 (hit the gym) a lot, because it'll give you confidence and also muscles and once you do it for more than like a month you get into a habit and it changes (hopefully) your diet and general outlook and everything else

i know at least one person who can vouch for that but i haven't seen her around here lately which is odd

[blerb]

Yeah, the gym helps a lot. I've only been going consistently for the past 3 months, but my gains in motivation (and mussels) have been quite nice. Went from suicidal tendencies to being somewhat emotionally neutral most of the time! I used to be an orbiting body worthy of dwarf planet classification though, so I still look like shit without clothing despite only being 180 at 6'. Dunno how much your physical appearance bothers you, but try not to let it get to you too much.

Regardless, proper diet and exercise are critical to feeling better about yourself, your mood, and certainly help with motivational issues. Keep in mind that the hardest part is mustering the motivation to actually get started. It gets much easier as times goes on.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=blerb;46820327]Yeah, the gym helps a lot. I've only been going consistently for the past 3 months, but my gains in motivation (and mussels) have been quite nice. Went from suicidal tendencies to being somewhat emotionally neutral most of the time! I used to be an orbiting body worthy of dwarf planet classification though, so I still look like shit without clothing despite only being 180 at 6'. Dunno how much your physical appearance bothers you, but try not to let it get to you too much.

Regardless, proper diet and exercise are critical to feeling better about yourself, your mood, and certainly help with motivational issues. Keep in mind that the hardest part is mustering the motivation to actually get started. It gets much easier as times goes on.[/QUOTE]

I wish it was easier for me to keep a healthy diet, I just can't get a proper diet going. I feel good about myself but I am very erratic at times and have a lot of issues with sleep, furthermore I get very bad mood swings where I change drastically. I bet a decent diet would help a lot.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=junker154;46820705]I wish it was easier for me to keep a healthy diet, I just can't get a proper diet going. I feel good about myself but I am very erratic at times and have a lot of issues with sleep, furthermore I get very bad mood swings where I change drastically. I bet a decent diet would help a lot.[/QUOTE]

dude best thing to start a healthy diet is to just convert the things you like to eat regularly into more healthy equivalents. So I really like bread and couscous and pasta and shit - i now only eat grain/wholemeal bread, wholemeal couscous and wholemeal pasta. Its a good start if you have no motivation. Then once you do that you find its actually not that different and its easier to make a start.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;46820778]dude best thing to start a healthy diet is to just convert the things you like to eat regularly into more healthy equivalents. So I really like bread and couscous and pasta and shit - i now only eat grain/wholemeal bread, wholemeal couscous and wholemeal pasta. Its a good start if you have no motivation. Then once you do that you find its actually not that different and its easier to make a start.[/QUOTE]

I like so much various food and generally eat everything but due to my changing schedules at work, a rather fast and unorganized lifestyle it is rather hard to eat regularly. I really struggle much with it, perhaps when I'm moving out soon with some other people I can get a somewhat normal schedule for my food.

[blerb]

On top of that, buy a slow cooker. Makes cooking everything a breeze. Throw random shit in, pour sauce of choice on top, turn on low and let it cook. It's useful if you don't like cooking for hours every day, as you can cook in bulk for the entire week. I personally cook all my food for the week on my days off work and store them in the freezer.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=blerb;46820815]On top of that, buy a slow cooker. Makes cooking everything a breeze. Throw random shit in, pour sauce of choice on top, turn on low and let it cook. It's useful if you don't like cooking for hours every day, as you can cook in bulk for the entire week. I personally cook all my food for the week on my days off work and store them in the freezer.[/QUOTE]

My first goal is just to get a place of my own with my own stuff, it's hard to plan ahead if you don't have much freedom and are limited.

[dcalde78]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46820271]no one ever thinsk they need to do it and then this shit happens

also if you have no motivation then you need to do number 3 (hit the gym) a lot, because it'll give you confidence and also muscles and once you do it for more than like a month you get into a habit and it changes (hopefully) your diet and general outlook and everything else

i know at least one person who can vouch for that but i haven't seen her around here lately which is odd[/QUOTE]

I'm considering it for the new year but for the time being, it's a monetary issue more than anything else. I did put on a fair bit of weight when I was with my ex, going from somewhere around 63kg to about 85. Somehow, I've managed to already lose about 6kg, with the only difference being that I'm doing more walking and lifting heavier stuff at work.

There are some changes I could make to my appearance right now that would help. I'm not a particularly stylish guy, jeans and a tshirt will do me, but the main thing is that I have quite long hair at the moment. I've had long hair for about 5 or 6 years now, but I'm planning to grow it out a little more (it's about midriff length right now, I'm planning to get it to waist length), and I'm going to do a sponsored head shave and donate my hair to a wig making company.

[Remedial Math]

i'm kind of tempted to make a tinder...wonder if i should. i mean i guess if anything it'd give me experience or something but i already know how i flirt and i'm not planning on changing it, and i'm betting it either won't translate well over text or will just offend people

[Electrical]

Are there any alternatives to the gym? I'm not a fitness kinda guy, despite being 150 lbs at 6'. I just have no intention of working out, it's not me, I can lift 60 lbs and that's all I really need. I'm just a lanky little thing who plays video games and watches anime xD I'm not sure if there are alternatives to the gym, but I'm a stick and I really don't enjoy working out.

[Zethin]

[QUOTE=Electrical;46823983]Are there any alternatives to the gym? I'm not a fitness kinda guy, despite being 150 lbs at 6'. I just have no intention of working out, it's not me, I can lift 60 lbs and that's all I really need. I'm just a lanky little thing who plays video games and watches anime xD I'm not sure if there are alternatives to the gym, but I'm a stick and I really don't enjoy working out.[/QUOTE]

I rock climb a lot and do a lot of calisthenics. I might not be able to lift a lot but it still keeps me in good shape. I'm extremely light weight as well, 121 at 5'7.

Rock climbing is pretty much entirely my gym substitute though. Fun to do, helps you overcome your fear of heights, works out your entire upper body, and there's always a new challenge for when what you're working on becomes too easy. Then I use the calisthenics as an exercise for cardio, abdominals, etc.

[Remedial Math]

[QUOTE=Electrical;46823983]Are there any alternatives to the gym? I'm not a fitness kinda guy, despite being 150 lbs at 6'. I just have no intention of working out, it's not me, I can lift 60 lbs and that's all I really need. I'm just a lanky little thing who plays video games and watches anime xD I'm not sure if there are alternatives to the gym, but I'm a stick and I really don't enjoy working out.[/QUOTE]

You're a stick dude you need to bulk up yo

gym is good if you're at school you presumably have a free one, so that's good to use (i would suggest Starting Strength, it's a super good program and it's what I'm currently doing)

if you don't have a gym near you look for a bouldering/rock climbing gym, there's probably one close to you and it's REALLY good exercise, you end up more sinewy and chiseled than buff but it's still good exercise

tbh it's not only suggested because it puts you in shape, it's also a good way to start to develop healthy habits and it's a nice outlet. when a lot of guys get dumped or go through shit they tend to really throw themselves into their routines, which is good because it's a constructive outlet

are you like depressed or did you just go through a breakup or something or do you just want to do something other than go to the gym

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Electrical;46823983]Are there any alternatives to the gym? I'm not a fitness kinda guy, despite being 150 lbs at 6'. I just have no intention of working out, it's not me, I can lift 60 lbs and that's all I really need. I'm just a lanky little thing who plays video games and watches anime xD I'm not sure if there are alternatives to the gym, but I'm a stick and I really don't enjoy working out.[/QUOTE]

Is there any sort of physical activity you enjoy doing? It's a lot easier to stay in shape when you don't turn it into a job. It doesn't really matter what you're doing, what's important is that you're physically active.

I personally never took much interest in my health until I started weightlifting just because I absolutely hate doing cardio.

[Remedial Math]

"oh no if i go to the gym for an hour i'll lose an hour of time i usually spend being bored on the internet"

he's right it's a pretty weak reason to not go to the gym

[Guy Mannly]

I think one of the biggest reasons more people don't take an interest in their health is because they view personal health as a sort of binary - either you're healthy or you're not, with no in between. You don't have to put yourself on an extreme diet or fitness regimen to improve your health - even small steps will still make a huge difference.

[Zethin]

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;46824320]I'd suggest anyone and everyone to be active in some way. Whether its running, rock climbing or weightlifting or yoga or whatever. An active body aids an active mind, and your quality of life will substantially improve. I find a lot of people don't enjoy working out cause they just aimlessly do stuff with no goal and steps to achieve those nonexistent goals. Idk, no one can force you, but its really your loss not giving it a good shot. The pros are lengthy to list, and the only real con is it takes time out of your day. (which is a weak con anyways)[/QUOTE]

I also find for a lot of people its pondering "why would I want to go lift an iron bar over and over" when pondering whether to go back. Then they just quickly lose motivation. I see it happen a lot at my university, the gyms will be flooded for the first couple of weeks and then sparsely populated the rest of the semester. Pretty much got the same answer from my friend when I asked her why she stopped going.

Like everyone said above me, you have to find something you find fun. Otherwise it turns into a job, and you aren't going to want to work out.

[editline]Edited: [/editline]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46824331]"oh no if i go to the gym for an hour i'll lose an hour of time i usually spend being bored on the internet"

he's right it's a pretty weak reason to not go to the gym[/QUOTE]

If I had to do something I didn't find fun over something I could entertain myself with, I'll absolutely take the latter any day of the week.

[Jake]

[QUOTE=Electrical;46823983]Are there any alternatives to the gym? I'm not a fitness kinda guy, despite being 150 lbs at 6'. I just have no intention of working out, it's not me, I can lift 60 lbs and that's all I really need. I'm just a lanky little thing who plays video games and watches anime xD I'm not sure if there are alternatives to the gym, but I'm a stick and I really don't enjoy working out.[/QUOTE]

Running. It doesn't require a membership or much equipment beyond comfortable shoes and some shorts. You can just jog in your neighborhood or just around the block. Even better if you have a friend to run with.

[Remedial Math]

lmao i just found my old okc profile

[quote]Dislikes:
1. People who are mad at waiters
2. Websites that make you Like them on Facebook to read the rest of the page
3. Scary movies
4. Complete lists
5.
6.
[/quote]

how am i single

[Guy Mannly]

2 edgy 4 u