Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Remedial Math]

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;46838393]Thanks man! I live in the countryside, that's why I live so far from any gym. I don't want to run because I would not feel comfortable at all, plus my neighbors are a little crazy, is it ok if I feel that way? Anyways, I'll look into that other option you gave me, and no more soda, and I will be controling myself in term of eating. Thanks for the advice.

[editline]1st January 2015[/editline]

And no, I sadly don't have any pet Alpacas, but I have a lot of chickens, dogs, and cats![/QUOTE]

I mean I can't speak for your neighbors since I don't know what Chile considers crazy neighbors. If you don't mind me asking, why wouldn't you feel comfortable jogging? Is it dangerous or something, or would you just feel silly? (I assume you are male, if you're not then that would explain it a bit)

[PuduEbooks]

Nee, I'm male, but by crazy I mean pregnant-woman-smoking-and-yelling-at-passing-cars kind of crazy (children included). And yes, I'd feel silly and generally uncomfortable jogging, specially in the state I am now.

[Remedial Math]

I feel like you're overstating things, if the numbers you gave are right then you're not overweight at all

you could jog at night, i guess, but that might be dangerous. just pop earbuds in and ignore your crazy neighbors? they hate us cuz' they ain't us

[Taepodong-2]

So, how do I tell someone I want to start dating without it being awkward? I've been out with her a couple times, but I don't know if they were actually dates or not and I'm going to assume they weren't because neither of us said they were. Like, next time I hang out with her should I just tell her I want to go on an actual date with her?

[Remedial Math]

yeah just say something like "hey, *insert last thing you did* was fun."

now here's where i'm not good at this. I have a tendency to phrase shit like this more as like a question or suggestion. I think the reason I do this is so if they turn me down they don't feel bad about it, but I don't really know.

anyway, i would probably say "hey, *insert last thing you did* was fun. Would you want to go out and *date activity* with me or something, like on a date or whatever?" I'm socially retarded but somehow it comes across as goofy so I'd probably say exactly that and it'd be fine.

a more reasonable man would probably say "This was fun. Let's go out and see a movie on Friday."

[editline]1st January 2015[/editline]

and remember the wise words of 4chan

"girls are like russia. if you don't invade her within a month, all is lost."

which i am choosing to mean "don't hesitate, dummy"

[Dooskington]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46838113]Conversion for americans: 165lbs, 5'10"

Don't drink the soda, just drink water. It sucks for a month but if you make it 30 days you'll feel weird when you taste soda. That alone is insanely good for you, especially if you're the type of person who drinks multiple cans a day.

You're not overweight, which is what I expected before I actually did the math. I imagine you're kind of...flabby, but that's not too bad. That's much easier to deal with than if you were like...twice that.

You can't really help the food part since you're living with your parents and you're only 16, but try to eat the healthier junk food (I guess). If you have a job, you might want to set aside some money for cheap, healthy food. you can buy like lettuce and ceasar salad dressing for like $5 and adding a salad once a day would probably make you feel a bit better, at least until you can do something about it. There are probably more efficient ways to eat healthy for cheap but that's more or less what I do. (I add chicken bacon flakes sometimes but that's probably not great)

As for exercise...why not just jog? I don't know where you live (your flair says Chile, so I guess jog with your pet alpacas i assume you have) but even if you lived in a big apartment complex, just jog around the block or something. If you're out in the country (which is what I assume since there's no gym closer than 45 minutes away, which is weird to me), just jog down your road or something.

Check this out: [url]https://www.digitalrunning.com/couch-to-half-marathon-plan/]Couch to Half Marathon[/url]. It's a basic, basic running plan that gets you in shape. It assumes you haven't seriously exercised in at least two months, which sounds accurate. So it basically assumes you're a blob of lard and in like six months you'll be chiseled and beefy. Note that it kind of requires four days a week (or less) of running, depending on your general speed. It's also encouraged to do some kind of stretching/cardio along with it, for example swimming or doing bodyweight exercises.

If you don't want to do that, you could also google a prison workout and do that, since that requires almost no actual materials. That's how you get ripped, esé.

[editline]1st January 2015[/editline]

for some reason Edit Post is fucking up on my computer so there are two things to mention:

1) I add chicken AND bacon flakes, not chicken bacon flakes

2) the website is [url]https://www.digitalrunning.com/couch-to-half-marathon-plan/[/url][/QUOTE]

This, a thousand times this.

I was 6 feet tall and 215 pounds about a year ago. I stopped drinking soda, and after 5 months I was 170 pounds. I didn't even exercise. Of course, if I did exercise, I probably would have been alot more toned and thin.

I'm 6'3" now and 160 pounds. It takes effort but honestly after a few weeks of no soda it just becomes nothing.

[Kindlinho]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46839085]yeah just say something like "hey, *insert last thing you did* was fun."

now here's where i'm not good at this. I have a tendency to phrase shit like this more as like a question or suggestion. I think the reason I do this is so if they turn me down they don't feel bad about it, but I don't really know...[/QUOTE]
Yeah, you don't need any fancy words or metaphors. It's a lot about how you deliver it too. Just make sure you get the message through. You said you've already been hanging out with her, so she might misunderstand you if you're not clear enough.

EDIT:
This thread just made me stop drinking soda. Even though I should probably drink more of it. Tough break.

[Remedial Math]

A friend of mine lost 50 pounds in three months by not drinking soda or alcohol. AFAIK he didn't make any other changes.

I really should cut out soda, I'm really close. I drink it MAYBE once a week, but it shouldn't be difficult to just cut it out entirely. I drink way too much water anyway since my kidneys are fucked up so it shouldn't be an issue to cut it out.

hey cosa i'll make you a deal, friend. i'll cut out soda with you and we can use each other for accountability and support and you can bitch at me about how much you want soda and i'll do the same but in the end we'll be better

[editline]1st January 2015[/editline]

also if you haven't kissed her yet, follow this video

[video=youtube;0VuIShM5kAQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VuIShM5kAQ[/video]

hasn't done me wrong yet

[Remedial Math]

I can't drink coffee because it gives me stomach cramps so I basically just drink water 24/7

also lots of alcohol but w/e

[Bonde]

If a person wants to lose weight, completely ditching soda (and alcohol, if you can) will do an extreme difference in weight in a very short time. I recommend starting running only if you are a little bit overweight and not much, as it will be quite hard on your joints in the beginning if you are not used to running or walking longer distances.

Home exercises can actually be quite effective, but it is important to know how to do the exercises properly, or they will not work, or maybe even harm you, depending on how much yo do it wrong. I can really recommend getting a pair of weight adjustable barbells and then watch some video tutorials on youtube.

[Guy Mannly]

I drink so much tea. If I need something sweet, I drink mint tea with honey (I don't do well with caffeine so I stick to green tea for the most part). Other than that, I just drink water - I've had a couple bottles of soda sitting in my fridge for the past two or three months since I had originally gotten them for some friends I had over.

[Remedial Math]

I really should find a tea that doesn't taste like garbage. One of these days...

[Guy Mannly]

Hater.

[editline]2nd January 2015[/editline]

There's a very specific brand of mint green tea that I like because it tastes exactly like the tea they always served in Tunisia, where I grew up. It's pretty nostalgic for me.

Other than that, black tea is pretty much as close as you can get to coffee without being coffee. Highest caffeine content and usually a bit more bitter-tasting.

[Loopoo]

For anyone having troubles getting the girl of your dreams:

[IMG]http://i0.wp.com/www.cringechannel.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/hF75CE48F.jpg?resize=500%2C919[/IMG]

Follow this guys example, it's bound to work.

[Patrick]

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;46834288]My first payday was on new years eve so I bought some new clothes so I could hit the town. I'm on a roll lately with the women, I met a new girl and I went back to her place, I think she wanted me to make a move but I didn't know what to do. I got her number and I'm going to hang out with her on Sunday.[/QUOTE]

I can't think straight, I feel like a dick, she invited me to stay at her place, we were the only ones there and I didn't try to do anything with her. Even in the morning she was still all over me and we talked for a few hours before I left. I like her a lot and I don't know how she feels. I'm seeing her on Sunday but it's driving me crazy, I gotta get through work all day tomorrow before then.

[Remedial Math]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46840383]Hater.

[editline]2nd January 2015[/editline]

There's a very specific brand of mint green tea that I like because it tastes exactly like the tea they always served in Tunisia, where I grew up. It's pretty nostalgic for me.

Other than that, black tea is pretty much as close as you can get to coffee without being coffee. Highest caffeine content and usually a bit more bitter-tasting.[/QUOTE]

I'm not a hater I just haven't tried much tea. And I don't want to just experiment and buy random shit at the store because if it sucks I'm stuck with it. I need to find like a tea house or something

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46841876]I'm not a hater I just haven't tried much tea. And I don't want to just experiment and buy random shit at the store because if it sucks I'm stuck with it. I need to find like a tea house or something[/QUOTE]

It probably costs more to get a cup of tea from a coffee shop or whatever than it does to get a box of it from a grocery store.

[editline]2nd January 2015[/editline]

But if you're ever on Bnet/Steam again I will educate you

[Loopoo]

Tea houses are good for discovering new teas, that you can then go and buy yourself (loose tea is amazing). Other than that, they're overpriced, and only good if you go with friends occasionally.

[Remedial Math]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;46841985]It probably costs more to get a cup of tea from a coffee shop or whatever than it does to get a box of it from a grocery store.

[editline]2nd January 2015[/editline]

But if you're ever on Bnet/Steam again I will educate you[/QUOTE]

i'll be back home tonight, i'm in the mountains atm

just mail me one of your weird tunisia teas, i trust your judgement

[SundayRoast]

I'm almost having a hard time believing how well this LDR is taking off.
Already a few times have I told her a harsh truth and she has logged off. Then I've left my apology, rationalization and words of wisdom and then came back to find that we are yet again closer to each other.
I believe that we wouldn't have gotten this far if I hadn't dealt with my own self-esteem issues and eating disorder in the past.

Today I told her when I'll be in the town where she studies. She told me that she isn't scared of going back there anymore.

[Remedial Math]

LDRs are pretty much always terrible ideas, but good luck with that

[Navarchus]

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;46842389]I'm almost having a hard time believing how well this LDR is taking off.
Already a few times have I told her a harsh truth and she has logged off. Then I've left my apology, rationalization and words of wisdom and then came back to find that we are yet again closer to each other.
I believe that we wouldn't have gotten this far if I hadn't dealt with my own self-esteem issues and eating disorder in the past.

Today I told her when I'll be in the town where she studies.[B] She told me that she isn't scared of going back there anymore.[/B][/QUOTE]

Could you elaborate?

[SundayRoast]

[QUOTE=CaptainHijacks;46843075]Could you elaborate?[/QUOTE]

Small town in the middle of nowhere, school that isn't going too well.
Having to attend the same classes as her ex-girlfriend and also living with her ex.

So she's been describing the prospect of having to go back there rather scary.
But now that she know that I will be there; she doesn't think that it's so bad anymore.

[UntouchedShadow]

As someone who came out of LDR a month ago in the most painful way imaginable, I wish you good luck.

[Kirbunny]

Hey guys, I hope you don't mind if I shift the topic away from fitness for a little bit. I've been grappling with a problem for the past year or so, and it really only started bothering me again recently.

Last September, my junior year of high school got off to a great start. I received a reliable tip that the girl I had a giant crush on liked me back. Despite my fears, I asked her out and we ended up together. In October, we went to our school's Homecoming game and dance and had a great time, despite the fact that my dancing left a lot to be desired.

It was around here that a bunch of red flags started popping up. I'll just list them for simplicity, and I apologize for any cringe that may follow:

-She didn't want to tell any of her family members about my existence. "My family always teases me about the guys I like," she explained. "So I just don't want them to know yet." It got to the point that, when I told Facebook we were in a relationship, she declined the confirmation it sent her to prevent her family from finding out. I sat back and took it.
-After Homecoming, we didn't go anywhere together until the Prom (which we'll discuss later). She was busy in the fall and spring with sports, which I can see as being something that would need to be worked around. But every time I asked her if she wanted to do ANYTHING, she replied with "I don't know." Every time, regardless of activity or time. There isn't a whole lot to do in our area, and neither of us could drive. Still, every attempt of mine was shot down. I sat back and took it.
-Once at Prom, she looked everywhere except at me, halfheartedly danced with me during one slow song, and completely shot down my attempt to kiss her. While it could be argued that I was rejected because we hadn't actually gone anywhere together, we were really close (or so I believed) because we talked with each other and had fun every day at school. Besides, we had been "dating" for almost eight months by that point, so I didn't think a single kiss was that farfetched. She said she was scared of kissing, but in hindsight it's probably because she was scared of getting nerd germs. Even so, I sat back and took it.
-Because she was a senior, she got out of school about a month before me. We basically stopped communicating after that, as she for some reason couldn't log into her Facebook account for a while. She eventually got back in and we chatted a few times, but once again any of my attempts to schedule something with her were met with "I don't know." I still sat back and took it.

A few weeks passed. I clung to the vain hope that something could still be salvaged from the relationship. But after a few angry messages didn't seem to get my frustration across to her, I essentially gave up. A show my friend recommended to me eventually gave me enough perspective and courage to end the relationship once and for all.

It's January, which marks the one year anniversary of when I really started to realize that things were going wrong. But I refused to accept my situation and kept hoping that it would get better. This eventually led to a miserable Prom and a bunch of frustration on my part.

Nowadays, I've basically decided to not bother with romance during my senior year. The girl, meanwhile, is off at college and has a boyfriend that she's apparently not ashamed to have shared on her Facebook.

So, thread, that's my story. I really wanted to get that mess off my chest. Now this is where you come in. What did I do right, and what did I do wrong? Is the girl manipulative and cruel, or just really oblivious to the fact that she caused me any pain?

[B]tl;dr[/B] I had a sham of a relationship with a girl, I kept holding on in hopes of it improving, then broke up with her because I was sick of it, tell me why I'm dumb.

[Splash Attack]

If you were dating for a whole 8 months and didn't actually do anything romantic, then that's just a platonic friendship, not a relationship. This whole situation seems really weird and doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. It sounds to me like there was more going on here than she seemed to be letting on. In any case, it didn't sound like you were doing anything blatantly wrong other than letting it go on for that long with out at least confronting her about it. It would be best to move on and not be afraid to communicate to your partner when something bothers you. If she doesn't want to be open about her feelings to her own partner, then the relationships is probably doomed already.

[Navarchus]

[QUOTE=Kirbunny431;46846051]Hey guys, I hope you don't mind if I shift the topic away from fitness for a little bit. I've been grappling with a problem for the past year or so, and it really only started bothering me again recently.

Last September, my junior year of high school got off to a great start. I received a reliable tip that the girl I had a giant crush on liked me back. Despite my fears, I asked her out and we ended up together. In October, we went to our school's Homecoming game and dance and had a great time, despite the fact that my dancing left a lot to be desired.

It was around here that a bunch of red flags started popping up. I'll just list them for simplicity, and I apologize for any cringe that may follow:

-She didn't want to tell any of her family members about my existence. "My family always teases me about the guys I like," she explained. "So I just don't want them to know yet." It got to the point that, when I told Facebook we were in a relationship, she declined the confirmation it sent her to prevent her family from finding out. I sat back and took it.
-After Homecoming, we didn't go anywhere together until the Prom (which we'll discuss later). She was busy in the fall and spring with sports, which I can see as being something that would need to be worked around. But every time I asked her if she wanted to do ANYTHING, she replied with "I don't know." Every time, regardless of activity or time. There isn't a whole lot to do in our area, and neither of us could drive. Still, every attempt of mine was shot down. I sat back and took it.
-Once at Prom, she looked everywhere except at me, halfheartedly danced with me during one slow song, and completely shot down my attempt to kiss her. While it could be argued that I was rejected because we hadn't actually gone anywhere together, we were really close (or so I believed) because we talked with each other and had fun every day at school. Besides, we had been "dating" for almost eight months by that point, so I didn't think a single kiss was that farfetched. She said she was scared of kissing, but in hindsight it's probably because she was scared of getting nerd germs. Even so, I sat back and took it.
-Because she was a senior, she got out of school about a month before me. We basically stopped communicating after that, as she for some reason couldn't log into her Facebook account for a while. She eventually got back in and we chatted a few times, but once again any of my attempts to schedule something with her were met with "I don't know." I still sat back and took it.

A few weeks passed. I clung to the vain hope that something could still be salvaged from the relationship. But after a few angry messages didn't seem to get my frustration across to her, I essentially gave up. A show my friend recommended to me eventually gave me enough perspective and courage to end the relationship once and for all.

It's January, which marks the one year anniversary of when I really started to realize that things were going wrong. But I refused to accept my situation and kept hoping that it would get better. This eventually led to a miserable Prom and a bunch of frustration on my part.

Nowadays, I've basically decided to not bother with romance during my senior year. The girl, meanwhile, is off at college and has a boyfriend that she's apparently not ashamed to have shared on her Facebook.

So, thread, that's my story. I really wanted to get that mess off my chest. Now this is where you come in. What did I do right, and what did I do wrong? Is the girl manipulative and cruel, or just really oblivious to the fact that she caused me any pain?

[B]tl;dr[/B] I had a sham of a relationship with a girl, I kept holding on in hopes of it improving, then broke up with her because I was sick of it, tell me why I'm dumb.[/QUOTE]

..Yeah something here is missing.
It sounds like she was using you except she didn't?
Generally when someone pretends to be in love with someone else it's to take advantage of them.

Either that or you two never really discussed if you were a serious relationship or just a close friendship and you've just made the assumption.

It just doesn't make sense, you shared a lot but I feel like you're avoiding something.

[Kirbunny]

[QUOTE=CaptainHijacks;46848455]..Yeah something here is missing.
It sounds like she was using you except she didn't?
Generally when someone pretends to be in love with someone else it's to take advantage of them.

Either that or you two never really discussed if you were a serious relationship or just a close friendship and you've just made the assumption.

It just doesn't make sense, you shared a lot but I feel like you're avoiding something.[/QUOTE]

I don't think I made an outlandish assumption. She and her friends all referred to me as her boyfriend on multiple occassions. She barely ever let go of my hand at Homecoming and we hugged each other goodbye a lot. It's just that outside of that, we never actually did anything more as a couple.

The only things I left out were a bunch of smaller events that continued to illustrate her strange behavior and my lack of a spine. I didn't think to include them because the big events I listed serve as a pretty accurate summary of the ordeal.

My personality may have been a factor. I'm really sensitive and have a bit of a short temper. If we were in class and I said something stupid, I'd get mad at myself for being such a dork and end up looking depressed for a while. Likewise, if she said something rude or mean (which tended to happen on occasion), I'd usually bite back. These exchanges never escalated into any big fights, and I would apologize later for being nasty. I'm also kind of awkward, but she certainly knew that before embarking on this "relationship."

As far as using goes, I agree that the situation is really bizarre. I seriously think I was used once before (which is a story for another day), but after that the girl's motives were pretty clear in hindsight. In this situation, however, she gained absolutely nothing of any apparent value.

I'll try to think of anything I may be unintentionally holding back. And Splash Attack, thanks for the advice. I'll be sure to use it in the future.

[Loopoo]

She's in college now and has a boyfriend, so unfortunately, all you can do is take this as a learning experience. Perhaps be a bit more assertive in your next relationship and don't let people walk all over you.

[Remedial Math]

just be like "look i'm a man and i generally have no idea what the hell's going on. what's the deal with us?"

that might work