Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=S33T;46859113]So by responding with simple humor instead of anger, which gets somebody nowhere I'm the jackass? Seems to me you need to lighten up. It's just the Internet, if you don't like what I post you don't have to respond, oh lookie there! Problem solved with zero confrontation! Should you feel the need to speak in a derogatory manner, pm me, no reason to argue in a support thread friend.[/QUOTE]

god you are such a drip

[Remedial Math]

the whole attitude of that post was annoying, i'm not surprised he's also annoying

[Rhenae]

[t]http://www.promo-wholesale.com/Upfiles/Prod_k/60-Nibblers-Bite-Size-Cookies-Basket_20090617413.jpg[/t]

What did I just say you fuckwads

[editline]5th January 2015[/editline]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46859300]Back to this now, facebook is kind of little use to me because she hasn't posted anything on there in months.

But anyway, chances are she probably is back by now and didn't even see that I had texted her because she said she was getting a new phone over the break and here I am waiting for her to text back when she probably doesn't even know I did in the first place.[/QUOTE]

Obvious solution then is to text her again!
If I get a text sometimes I don't notice it for 24 hours or so then I wont respond because it feels like its been too long, or I see it in the middle of the night. Then I totally forget to reply the next day (or ever) anyway so I wouldnt stress too much about one missed reply

[jhfjdh746]

Guys shut the fuck up he came through with the cookies.

[XUZUL]

You need to leave. Your attitude isn't helping anyone. Only thing you're doing is looking like a moron. Either reply to someone's post and help them figure their issues out or don't post at all.

[Loopoo]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46859300]Back to this now, facebook is kind of little use to me because she hasn't posted anything on there in months.

But anyway, chances are she probably is back by now and didn't even see that I had texted her because she said she was getting a new phone over the break and here I am waiting for her to text back when she probably doesn't even know I did in the first place.[/QUOTE]

This has happened to me, where a girl doesn't message back. It's just cause they're getting on with life and aren't constantly thinking about "Oh gosh I gotta text that guy back". Do the same. Keep yourself busy, talk to other people. She'll eventually text back.

I've found that when I'm socially active and doing stuff daily with friends, I tend to not have the time (either be driving or out or whatever, and mentally tell myself I'll get back to them later, but never do) so I don't message back and then a few days / weeks go by and I'll think "Oops, should probably drop them a text". When my social life is dead and nothing's happening, I'll tend to be waiting for messages and will reply instantly and wait for a response, cause I've got nothing better to do.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46861754]This has happened to me, where a girl doesn't message back. It's just cause they're getting on with life and aren't constantly thinking about "Oh gosh I gotta text that guy back". Do the same. Keep yourself busy, talk to other people. She'll eventually text back.

I've found that when I'm socially active and doing stuff daily with friends, I tend to not have the time (either be driving or out or whatever, and mentally tell myself I'll get back to them later, but never do) so I don't message back and then a few days / weeks go by and I'll think "Oops, should probably drop them a text". When my social life is dead and nothing's happening, I'll tend to be waiting for messages and will reply instantly and wait for a response, cause I've got nothing better to do.[/QUOTE]

My social life is always dead so that's why I have nothing to do other than wait for girls to text back. Like, I don't get along with most guys my age because a lot of them have stupid frat boy mentalities and those that don't are probably just like me, inside playing video games. I do find I get along with girls better, but because of limited relationship experience and a desire to be able to have that experience, without fail I'll end up developing feelings for any girl I'm friends with and just ruin the friendship either through becoming progressively more awkward, or by not having my feelings reciprocated.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46861896]My social life is always dead so that's why I have nothing to do other than wait for girls to text back. Like, I don't get along with most guys my age because a lot of them have stupid frat boy mentalities and those that don't are probably just like me, inside playing video games. I do find I get along with girls better, but because of limited relationship experience and a desire to be able to have that experience, without fail I'll end up developing feelings for any girl I'm friends with and just ruin the friendship either through becoming progressively more awkward, or by not having my feelings reciprocated.[/QUOTE]

I felt the same to be honest, I got along really well with girls and usually preferred them more even if it was just to hang out. Conversations and humor felt more intuitive, that said it also highly depends on your male friends. You just need the right friends that suit you.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46861896]My social life is always dead so that's why I have nothing to do other than wait for girls to text back. Like, I don't get along with most guys my age because a lot of them have stupid frat boy mentalities and those that don't are probably just like me, inside playing video games. I do find I get along with girls better, but because of limited relationship experience and a desire to be able to have that experience, without fail I'll end up developing feelings for any girl I'm friends with and just ruin the friendship either through becoming progressively more awkward, or by not having my feelings reciprocated.[/QUOTE]

Being able to spend time by yourself without treating it like a chore would probably help you appear less desperate toward women. I'm not going to try and give you advice on how to spend your time again because we've discussed that here a few times in the past, but taking time to yourself to explore your own hobbies can be a good thing if you treat it as one.

One way or another, you need to find a way to have your own life and develop your own personality for your [b]own[/b] sake rather than using women as an incentive for everything in your life. Not having any interest in developing yourself will make you into a very boring person. If you have goals for the future aside from getting married, don't put them on the backburner - now is the time to start shaping yourself into the person you want to be.

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46861896]without fail I'll end up developing feelings for any girl I'm friends with and just ruin the friendship either through becoming progressively more awkward, or by not having my feelings reciprocated.[/QUOTE]

This is a completely normal experience for men - a lot of single young adult males base their friendships with women on who they're romantically attracted to. I recall a study on "platonic" cross-sex friendships that showed that most women believed their friendships with their male friends were platonic while most of the male friends were attracted to their female friends and often believed those feelings were mutual.

[Remedial Math]

ah yes, "When Harry Met Sally" syndrome

[editline]5th January 2015[/editline]

[video=youtube;aJz1f8hPRGc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJz1f8hPRGc[/video]

[GeeOhDee]

What do you guys think about marriage?
Do you think it is worth trying, or is it something that isn't for everyone?
Do you think it is something that is long term, that you should go into it expecting and working towards staying together forever, or should you be open to divorce and being remarried or maybe even never getting married again?
What about wedding rings? Or getting a wedding ring tattoo. That kind of stuff. Is it really necessary? What role does it play in your marriage?

Thanks.

[Remedial Math]

woah easy there, this is the thread for us to complain about being single autists

[titopei]

So I've been asking my best friend for advice on this one girl that's my running buddy although I have feelings for her. Not necessarily advice, but more like someone to talk to when I feel like I'm being weird or something since she has a bf, I try not to mess around with her but we're still really good friends. Suddenly, my best friend starts liking her and he's just like "ok I'm going to make her break up with her bf, and if you're too slow I'm going to take her" and now I don't know how to feel.

[Remedial Math]

see what i mean

[BarnacleDrive]

So I've just had an excellent week and a bit with my (LDR) boyfriend over the New Year, and I'm freaking excited because in addition to whatever dates we visit each other inbetween we've booked a holiday together in Amsterdam for this summer. 5 year anniversary is a few weeks away and this will be our first time going into the same airport and getting on the same plane together.

Other than that- I have soda questions
I'm a Brit and I've never been able to stomach fizzy drinks so I'm quite sure I don't drink any, I don't like coke, fanta, etc etc. However my boyfriend recently stopped drinking coke (I assume you'd call coke a soda) and while I was making fun of him for it he pointed out what I do drink all the time- cranberry juice, is just as full of sugar.
Does Dr. Facepunch think it's worthwhile for me to cut down on cranberry juice in the same way?

[quote]
[url]http://www.oceanspray.co.uk/Products/Juices-and-Juice-Drinks/Classic/Cranberry-Classic-Juice-Drink.aspx[/url]
Serving Size 250ml
Amount Per Serving
Energy 115 kcal
Total Fat 0g 0%
of which Saturates 0g 0%
Total Carbohydrate 27.5g 9%
of which Sugars 27.5g
Dietary Fibre 0g 0%
Protein 0g
Salt 0mg 0%
[/quote]

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=BarnacleDrive;46863271]Does Dr. Facepunch think it's worthwhile for me to cut down on cranberry juice in the same way?[/QUOTE]

I personally don't drink juice because of all the added sugar, but it is ideal to have fruit in your diet in one way or another. I would stick to fresh fruit if you have the option.

It also really depends on your diet. Sugar is considered "empty calories", meaning it's high energy but lacks any sort of nutritional value. If you're getting enough nutrients elsewhere and aren't consuming more calories than you're spending each day (read: if you're gaining weight on your current diet), it's not really a big deal. If you're trying to lose weight, cutting out juice with added sugar might be a good place to start.

[Loopoo]

Gut-wrenching feeling when you go out on a limb by sending a message to a girl, and then waiting for a reply is nerve racking.

I sent to my coursemate: "Coffee this Sunday? I don't want to put you on the spot, though! And it's totally okay if you're not up to it :)" figured I'd add that little bit in at the end so if she wants to bail, it's that little bit easier for her.

Aaaahhhh, time to find out if she said yes to spare my feelings, or is actually interested in me.

[Guy Mannly]

Also, I'm super excited for you guys! 5 years is a really long time to be in an LDR.

My own long-distance boyfriend is actually getting here today (leaving for airport in 20 minutes to pick him up) and staying for 2 weeks. He talked a while back about going to Hawaii together at some point in the future because one of his friends wanted us to.

[editline]5th January 2015[/editline]

AUTOMERGE

[junker154]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46863401]I sent to my coursemate: "Coffee this Sunday? I don't want to put you on the spot, though! And it's totally okay if you're not up to it :)" figured I'd add that little bit in at the end so if she wants to bail, it's that little bit easier for her.[/QUOTE]

That is pretty cringe worthy to read to be honest.

Still, it's a nice feeling to have, the wait is the worst though.

[Loopoo]

Aw man

[Taepodong-2]

k I think she's ignoring me. Creeped her on facebook, found links to her tumblr and twitter and she was posting shit on both of them but can't find the time to text me back. But I did text her again about half an hour ago so I'll see if she ever responds to that.

[editline]5th January 2015[/editline]

or maybe because she got a new phone for christmas she got a new phone number too but never told me. but that would be kind of an asshole thing to do.

[editline]5th January 2015[/editline]

I guess this is where having shit to do comes in handy like you guys say. Time to binge BF4 I guess

[Behemoth_PT]

Hi guys. Update.

So last time I came here I was rather depressed with where my life was going, specially regarding university.

Well turns out I made an effort this semester and things are turning out good. Not perfect but good.
Already did half of the subjects I'm supposed to make this semester through tests. So this means that I only have 2 exams to go and then I'm free till March.

And it feels great knowing that the effort payed off.

It's not perfect grades though, they're positive, enough to pass but not great nor good. (50%). But compared to my previous history it's progress and it's making me feel great.

So I've been happy. I feel I'm changing the aspects I felt I needed to change. I feel that my conversations are changing when I talk to people and I feel like people are actually feeling interested when they talk to me which is great. I feel valued again and I believe in myself again.

As for Christmas it was pretty calm with the family. Eating and drinking a lot.

New Year was spend south of Portugal in Lagos with friends and a dog. Met a lot of foreign people there and we all played pool together. Met an elderly couple that wished us a new year after the fireworks and gave us a spare bottle of champagne. Later that night we got drunk and dressed our friend's dog in a coat (it was cold) and he peed inside it.

So, good times.

[SundayRoast]

[QUOTE=BarnacleDrive;46863271]So I've just had an excellent week and a bit with my (LDR) boyfriend over the New Year, and I'm freaking excited because in addition to whatever dates we visit each other inbetween we've booked a holiday together in Amsterdam for this summer. 5 year anniversary is a few weeks away and this will be our first time going into the same airport and getting on the same plane together.

Other than that- I have soda questions
I'm a Brit and I've never been able to stomach fizzy drinks so I'm quite sure I don't drink any, I don't like coke, fanta, etc etc. However my boyfriend recently stopped drinking coke (I assume you'd call coke a soda) and while I was making fun of him for it he pointed out what I do drink all the time- cranberry juice, is just as full of sugar.
Does Dr. Facepunch think it's worthwhile for me to cut down on cranberry juice in the same way?[/QUOTE]

Read up on how canned/boxed bought juice is made and you'll never want to touch that crap again.
Worked for me at least.

[Loopoo]

She said yes but after exams, so that's good. Though oddly, her best friend (the girl I originally crushed on at the start of uni, but gave up on) is now talking to me a lot? And being very sweet and stuff, so I feel like maybe she likes me, but I don't know. But I'm not gonna ask her out cause it just feels trashy, ask one girl out for coffee and then immediately ask her best friend out for coffee as well. I know it's just coffee, but it feels manwhorish.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46864026]She said yes but after exams, so that's good. Though oddly, her best friend (the girl I originally crushed on at the start of uni, but gave up on) is now talking to me a lot? And being very sweet and stuff, so I feel like maybe she likes me, but I don't know. But I'm not gonna ask her out cause it just feels trashy, ask one girl out for coffee and then immediately ask her best friend out for coffee as well. I know it's just coffee, but it feels manwhorish.[/QUOTE]

To be honest there is nothing wrong with having a drink with a girl if you just take it casually. Don't need to make a major fuss about it, although if you are really interested in this girl I would refrain from going alone with her to some place. Might give off a wrong vibe.

[Loopoo]

[QUOTE=junker154;46864117]To be honest there is nothing wrong with having a drink with a girl if you just take it casually. Don't need to make a major fuss about it, although if you are really interested in this girl I would refrain from going alone with her to some place. Might give off a wrong vibe.[/QUOTE]

We're a group of friends, we all go out together often. I hung out with them all this morning and it was good fun, and also on Sat, that's when I went over to the girl's apartment I asked for coffee and watched TV with her and her flatmates. The only times I really post in Super Friendly is when I'm asking a girl out I care about, and need the motivation boost from you guys to make me stop being such a pansy. If it's just a girl who I'm not that close with, I don't ever feel the need to post in here, cause the way I see it is: it's no big loss with her. But when it comes to girls who I'm good friends with and that I care about, that's when I worry about potentially upsetting the friendship, and you guys always assure me it'll be fine (and it always is).

The reason I wouldn't ask the girl I originally crushed on out for coffee is cause I've just asked her best friend out for coffee (and I know they talk about everything with each other), so it'd just be in bad taste (to me, at least).

Also I don't get your last bit? Give off the wrong vibe like what?

[junker154]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46864185]We're a group of friends, we all go out together often. I hung out with them all this morning and it was good fun, and also on Sat, that's when I went over to the girl's apartment I asked for coffee and watched TV with her and her flatmates. The only times I really post in Super Friendly is when I'm asking a girl out I care about, and need the motivation boost from you guys to make me stop being such a pansy. If it's just a girl who I'm not that close with, I don't ever feel the need to post in here, cause the way I see it is: it's no big loss with her. But when it comes to girls who I'm good friends with and that I care about, that's when I worry about potentially upsetting the friendship, and you guys always assure me it'll be fine (and it always is).

The reason I wouldn't ask the girl I originally crushed on out for coffee is cause I've just asked her best friend out for coffee (and I know they talk about everything with each other), so it'd just be in bad taste (to me, at least).

Also I don't get your last bit? Give off the wrong vibe like what?[/QUOTE]

Nevermind, you are all friends it seems. It would certainly look suspicious if you were rather new to eachother in some way. Forget what I said.

[Patrick]

well the girl called it off, she said she just got out of a long relationship that she is still trying to get over and she doesn't want to see anyone right now. I'm trying not to feel fucking destroyed about it but she was the coolest girl I've ever met, it's going to be impossible to find a girl like her. I was looking forward to finishing work for the week so I could see her, but now I've got nothing but spare time to waste.

[editline]6th January 2015[/editline]

should I call her? I don't know if thats the right thing to do

[junker154]

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;46867673]well the girl called it off, she said she just got out of a long relationship that she is still trying to get over and she doesn't want to see anyone right now. I'm trying not to feel fucking destroyed about it but she was the coolest girl I've ever met, it's going to be impossible to find a girl like her. I was looking forward to finishing work for the week so I could see her, but now I've got nothing but spare time to waste.

[editline]6th January 2015[/editline]

should I call her? I don't know if thats the right thing to do[/QUOTE]

It is hard to bear but you should respect her wishes and feelings, furthermore a new relationship just right out of a long one might have made it worse for both of you. Just be a friend to her without trying to console her to excessively.

Just wait a for a while and see how things unfold, things might change in the future although I do not know your situation. This is not the end of the world by any means. I would refrain from calling her, might make you look obnoxious or overly comforting.

[Patrick]

Thanks. I don't know if I'm ever going to see her again and it's killing me right now but I'm sure I'll get over it. I think I'll just leave her be, I don't want to make things worse.