Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;46867673]well the girl called it off, she said she just got out of a long relationship that she is still trying to get over and she doesn't want to see anyone right now. I'm trying not to feel fucking destroyed about it but she was the coolest girl I've ever met, it's going to be impossible to find a girl like her.

[/QUOTE]

Don't put her on a pedestal. It neither healthy nor helpful. There are plenty more females out there and I absolutely guarantee you there will be another.

[Remedial Math]

you literally said a page ago that you understand now that it's easy to find girls and go on dates, so now you get to prove it

[Patrick]

Yeah thanks guys, I was just a bit emotional last night when I wrote that. I'm feeling way better about it today.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;46869362]Yeah thanks guys, I was just a bit emotional last night when I wrote that. I'm feeling way better about it today.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, sometimes emotions tend to be overwhelming. It is okay to be emotional.

[QUOTE=metallics;46868339]Don't put her on a pedestal. It neither healthy nor helpful. There are plenty more females out there and I absolutely guarantee you there will be another.[/QUOTE]

This is a bit off-topic but I really dislike when people say this with the "there is plenty more fish in the sea mentality". It does not really help that person in and is not very constructive to be fairly honest, even if it is true.

[Loopoo]

[QUOTE=junker154;46869761]This is a bit off-topic but I really dislike when people say this with the "there is plenty more fish in the sea mentality". It does not really help that person in and is not very constructive to be fairly honest, even if it is true.[/QUOTE]

When I got told that, it helped me? And now that I've moved on and realised there are tonnes of people out there who are amazing, it's nice to be able to tell other people who are going through what I went through that it does get better and they will meet an awesome person, even if it feels like they never will.

And the way metallics wrote it was constructive and helpful.

[GURREN LAGANN]

This is going to be a dumb question.
But if a chick calls you bro its gg right? Got a "hey bro"

[Loopoo]

It's pretty much exactly the same as her saying "whats up". Two words and you're already overanalyzing, good jaaaab

[junker154]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46869966]When I got told that, it helped me? And now that I've moved on and realised there are tonnes of people out there who are amazing, it's nice to be able to tell other people who are going through what I went through that it does get better and they will meet an awesome person, even if it feels like they never will.

And the way metallics wrote it was constructive and helpful.[/QUOTE]

Must be my impression then. I just find it cheesy, usually my grandmother said this to me after breaking up with a girl in a very cornish way "oh there are plenty beautiful daughters out there!".

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=junker154;46870502]Must be my impression then. I just find it cheesy, usually my grandmother said this to me after breaking up with a girl in a very cornish way "oh there are plenty beautiful daughters out there!".[/QUOTE]

yeah but your grandma is like 70 years older than you and probably knows better than anyone that what she's saying is true

[junker154]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;46870541]yeah but your grandma is like 70 years older than you and probably knows better than anyone that what she's saying is true[/QUOTE]

I am not denying the truth and value of that lesson but personally I dislike it because if someone is really down about a person, saying that there are plenty of other people on this world is not really helping in a constructive way. At least in my opinion.

But my grandmother is really a wise person.

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;46870001]This is going to be a dumb question.
But if a chick calls you bro its gg right? Got a "hey bro"[/QUOTE]

It secretly means that she wants the dick

[GURREN LAGANN]

I keep hearing that once you're called bro or dude or some shit then it's pretty much over. Just scared

[XUZUL]

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;46870706]I keep hearing that once you're called bro or dude or some shit then it's pretty much over. Just scared[/QUOTE]

You really shouldn't see things that aren't there at all. What difference does it make if I went "What up bro?" or "How are you man?"?

[dcalde78]

[QUOTE=junker154;46869761]
This is a bit off-topic but I really dislike when people say this with the "there is plenty more fish in the sea mentality". It does not really help that person in and is not very constructive to be fairly honest, even if it is true.[/QUOTE]

As loopoo said, it does help but only as much as words can.

[editline]6th January 2015[/editline]

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;46870706]I keep hearing that once you're called bro or dude or some shit then it's pretty much over. Just scared[/QUOTE]

Or it could be that she just speaks that way?

[Loopoo]

Or better yet, try being a decent friend instead of worrying so much about hooking up with her. It works wonders when you treat girls like real people as opposed to potential girlfriends!

[Taepodong-2]

Welp, that girl still hasn't texted me back yet. If I don't hear back from her and don't see her around campus tomorrow, I'm going to have to send her a facebook message just in case something is wrong with one of our phones, and if she doesn't responded to that, looks like it's gg.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46870855]Or better yet, try being a decent friend instead of worrying so much about hooking up with her. It works wonders when you treat girls like real people as opposed to potential girlfriends![/QUOTE]

Couldn't have said it better myself to be honest.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46870855]Or better yet, try being a decent friend instead of worrying so much about hooking up with her. It works wonders when you treat girls like real people as opposed to potential girlfriends![/QUOTE]

I understand why this makes sense. But why do people say if you want to date someone you can't treat them too much like a friend? And how do relationships that develop from friendships even work? Do they just kind of randomly happen?

[junker154]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46871449]I understand why this makes sense. But why do people say if you want to date someone you can't treat them too much like a friend? And how do relationships that develop from friendships even work? Do they just kind of randomly happen?[/QUOTE]

Relationship is essentially a pretty intimate friendship, my girlfriend was always my best friend. You can treat them as friends without any problems. For instance I hung out with a girl a lot in my university class, I was not really that much attracted to her at first but we got along so well. We studied together, went out with friends and after a while we did stuff alone together. Then at some point we just started kissing and it all felt very natural and we basically got together.

Of course sexual desires and infatuation makes it hard to treat a girl like a "normal" friend at times, solely your feelings about her can be quite obsessive and intense.

[Remedial Math]

the misunderstood idea is that if you treat a girl like a friend instead of a potential slampiece (i like that slang and i'm bringing it back) then she'll immediately think "oh well he can't be a romantic partner" and then you've lost your chance, which is a dumb way to look at it

a lot of guys seem to think that girls can EITHER be friends, or they can be girlfriends (ignoring the fact that "girlfriend" has "friend" in it, apparently) and i've never understood that.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46871516]the misunderstood idea is that if you treat a girl like a friend instead of a potential slampiece (i like that slang and i'm bringing it back) then she'll immediately think "oh well he can't be a romantic partner" and then you've lost your chance, which is a dumb way to look at it

a lot of guys seem to think that girls can EITHER be friends, or they can be girlfriends (ignoring the fact that "girlfriend" has "friend" in it, apparently) and i've never understood that.[/QUOTE]

Well, it's good if you show your emotions in a way and make compliments, to hint how you feel towards a girl. Being to distant or to direct might just give a wrong impression, at least from my experience. You need to balance it out.

[XUZUL]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46871516]the misunderstood idea is that if you treat a girl like a friend instead of a potential slampiece (i like that slang and i'm bringing it back) then she'll immediately think "oh well he can't be a romantic partner" and then you've lost your chance, which is a dumb way to look at it

a lot of guys seem to think that girls can EITHER be friends, or they can be girlfriends (ignoring the fact that "girlfriend" has "friend" in it, apparently) and i've never understood that.[/QUOTE]

They're all betas and can't properly behave around pussy, clearly!

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46871516]the misunderstood idea is that if you treat a girl like a friend instead of a potential slampiece (i like that slang and i'm bringing it back) then she'll immediately think "oh well he can't be a romantic partner" and then you've lost your chance, which is a dumb way to look at it

a lot of guys seem to think that girls can EITHER be friends, or they can be girlfriends (ignoring the fact that "girlfriend" has "friend" in it, apparently) and i've never understood that.[/QUOTE]

I think it has a lot to do with guys being fed the idea that you can make a girl be interested in you sexually/romantically and acting too much like a friend is counterintuitive to that. I'm still trying to come to terms with that not being how it works and I think I'm doing a good job with that. I know you don't make a girl interested in you, so I'm just accepting that I'm not that interesting to girls. I usually fuck up whenever a girl does seem interested in me.

And to be honest, the constant fucking up is getting pretty frustrating because I'll be 21 in March and the most I've ever done with a girl is cuddle during a movie.

[Remedial Math]

oh shit you're almost 21? well you're basically dead, might as well just give up now and wait until you turn to dust

[UntouchedShadow]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46871570]I think it has a lot to do with guys being fed the idea that you can make a girl be interested in you sexually/romantically and acting too much like a friend is counterintuitive to that. I'm still trying to come to terms with that not being how it works and I think I'm doing a good job with that. I know you don't make a girl interested in you, so I'm just accepting that I'm not that interesting to girls. I usually fuck up whenever a girl does seem interested in me.

And to be honest, the constant fucking up is getting pretty frustrating because I'll be 21 in March and the most I've ever done with a girl is cuddle during a movie.[/QUOTE]

Dude some people have hit 40 without ever having even kissed. You're still young.

[GURREN LAGANN]

So can attraction build up or is it a mostly an early thing?

[editline]6th January 2015[/editline]

yeah maybe i was over analyzing it, treat her like a normal friend though i am trying to work on that

[editline]6th January 2015[/editline]

damn she talked about flirting with some guy that was help setting up her phone today. Welp it was a valiant effort. thanks for the advice though guys

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;46871849][b]Dude some people have hit 40 without ever having even kissed.[/b] You're still young.[/QUOTE]

I'm afraid of becoming one of those people and honestly feel like if I don't start dating and having sex soon, I'm going to be one of those people.

[Kindlinho]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46871570]And to be honest, the constant fucking up is getting pretty frustrating because I'll be 21 in March and the most I've ever done with a girl is cuddle during a movie.[/QUOTE]
I'm 21 as well. I've never even held hands with one and I'm fine. Just relax, trying to force it won't help. Pretty much the opposite, really.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;46872270]I'm 21 as well. I've never even held hands with one and I'm fine. Just relax, trying to force it won't help. Pretty much the opposite, really.[/QUOTE]

Consider yourself lucky, I had the same mindset as well but at some point I felt some internal pressure and urge to act more directly. Sometimes you need to push yourself or set yourself some goals to evolve as a person and gain some experience. Get out of the comfort zone does wonders at times.

[Patrick]

I thought I'd be fine today but when my brother picked me up from work I couldn't stop myself from crying. I feel stupid, I only knew her for a short time but the thought that I'm never gonna see her again is crushing. What can I do to sort myself out? I was thinking about going out on the weekend and talk to girls but I don't know if that would make me feel better.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;46872790]I thought I'd be fine today but when my brother picked me up from work I couldn't stop myself from crying. I feel stupid, I only knew her for a short time but the thought that I'm never gonna see her again is crushing. What can I do to sort myself out? I was thinking about going out on the weekend and talk to girls but I don't know if that would make me feel better.[/QUOTE]

There is no need to cry over a girl you have barely met over a potential date, that is quite excessive. I assure you that life will ten times more sorrowful if you do this each time. Keep yourself occupied and just be in company of people, it always helped me when I got really emotional about such stuff. Hope it helps.