Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Kirbyfactor]

Alright sweet, thanks man! I'll post how it was next sunday

oh change of plans she invited me to her house in teusday, I'm gonna go

[GeeOhDee]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;46901664]So this is where most of my problems are coming from then? I know I'm a boring guy that doesn't do anything, that's a given. But like I said, I do live somewhere where it's hard to jsut go out and find something to do. There are things I'd like to try, but cost money and don't have, but if I had a job I wouldn't have time for hobbies on top of work and school, and it's probably too late in life to start some of these things anyway. Like I wanted to learn to play guitar since I was like 12, but my parents would never let me because they straight up said I probably wouldn't be any good at it and now that I'm 21 I feel like it's too late to start. My parents straight up saying I wouldn't have been good at something probably didn't help either.[/QUOTE]

Hey man, I was 21, and had no real valuable skills to my name or anything. Didn't have a home, vehicle, a job I wanted, a girlfriend, etc. I was getting freaked out, because I felt I wasn't going anywhere in life. Remembering back to when I was 18, I was in the same situation. Three years went by and I didn't take advantage of the situation. At 18, I felt it was too late to start. At 21, I felt it was too late to start. Close to 22, I realized that it's really better late than never, and that life goes on, so if you start now, you will reach your goals. But if you don't now, you'll look back as the years go by and see that you could have done it by now, and that you wasted your time.

YOU'RE A BORING GUY WHO DOESN'T DO ANYTHING, you said it yourself. Why are you even looking for a girlfriend, if you yourself don't enjoy hanging out with your Self? No one's going to want to be with you if you're not the person you are happy waking up as every morning.
Find ways to enjoy yourself, at any time. Pursue and do things that interest and inspire you. Find things that make you laugh, be happy and just generally feel good. Rediscover old things, could be something such as music, dance, singing, art, etc. Revisit it, try it again, maybe you'll appreciate drawing or dancing more than you did before, or have fun doing it, etc. Learn new things and practice things everyday. The essence of life is constant change and growth.

Focus on your Self and nothing else. You can only control your Self, and no one else. You can't force someone to like you, or find you interesting. But you can make yourself likeable and interesting to yourself and others.

Most importantly, is to remember that YOU are the person that you will be SPENDING THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE TIME WITH. That's also why you need to be happy being your Self. Your wife or husband isn't your lifelong partner you take with you to the grave, YOU are.

[ImpSnob]

I think I can go up to a girl and introduce myself, but then I'm stumped. I don't know what to say next :(

[junker154]

[QUOTE=ImpSnob;46907565]I think I can go up to a girl and introduce myself, but then I'm stumped. I don't know what to say next :([/QUOTE]

Depends on the situation, sometimes you can use various pretenses in order to talk to a girl. But sometimes it can be hard to come up with some stuff. I always try to make a witty comment or a light joke, depending on their reaction I know if I could along with them and have a decent conversation.

[ROFLBURGER]

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;46881763]Contrary to what you may think, we're not going to make fun of you for your appearance if you're coming to this thread legitimately looking for advice. This thread is here to help people, not put them down.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Just an Alt;46879775]Posting on an alt so it's less embarrassing for me.

I honestly look like shit, I really need to clean myself up but honestly I don't go out of the house anymore since school ended because I could just talk to my friends over skype or facebook. We live in an incredibly boring town, the only thing to really to is go to the movies but that costs too much and I don't have any disposable income, which is pretty damn bad considering I'm an 18 year old NEET.

Anyways my appearance isn't that good, people give me shit for it. I've cleaned up but not that well honestly. I just don't care and care at the same time, I don't know how to properly explain it. Pretty much all through puberty and now people said I've looked like shit and that always gets me down to the point where I cared more about the insults than my actual appearance.[/QUOTE]

hi this is me, was posting on an alt to try and start over because kept saying "do they hate you or your attitude" but someone who knew a lot about the situation just said "they can't get over what you did"

also lied about that poy thread thing i don't post there and I'm not a regular

But seriously using proper punctuation and capitalization, I need help badly. My jaw has an underbite, and my nose is pretty massive. I grow an actual beard + neckbeard so people don't notice my underbite and pay less attention to my nose. My dentist is fucking trash so no hopes of fixing my underbite and surgery costs money for the nose and it just makes me feel awful knowing that I was bullied in school so much I'm considering getting a nosejob.

[url]https://www.dropbox.com/s/75umxxw9ksnuh0i/Photo%20Aug%2013%2C%2010%2049%2057%20AM.jpg[/url]

So here's the most recent picture of me. I wasn't trying to look like a douchebag it's just I think I would look even more like shit if I smiled. I don't smile anyways because I'm a cold dumbass who has nothing to really smile about.

[Rhenae]

Your nose looks fine bud? Can't tell your jaw from a front photo obviously but the beard doesn't look all that bad on you either.

We tend to mentally over exaggerate the issues we see in our own faces that aren't a big deal at all to anyone else

[ROFLBURGER]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;46908725]Your nose looks fine bud? Can't tell your jaw from a front photo obviously but the beard doesn't look all that bad on you either.

We tend to mentally over exaggerate the issues we see in our own faces that aren't a big deal at all to anyone else[/QUOTE]

You're looking at it from a good angle.

[Remedial Math]

dude you look fine

i'm terrible at rating people out of ten but from that picture you're at least like a six nohomo

[ROFLBURGER]

60% yeah thats bad lol

[Remedial Math]

fine you're ugly

is that what you wanted me to say

[ROFLBURGER]

[QUOTE=Remedial Math;46908787]fine you're ugly

is that what you wanted me to say[/QUOTE]

I mean I didn't want anyone to rate me I just wanted help

[Cricket50]

was expecting much worse. lose a little weight, work out, get some nice clothes and youl look good. you aint even ugly

[junker154]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;46908804]I mean I didn't want anyone to rate me I just wanted help[/QUOTE]

You look really good, you have a nice symmetrical face. I'd suggest just taking care of your beard, make it look nicer or get rid off it completely. Also get some nice clothes, shirts always helped me out and makes you look nicer. Depends on the person though but I could imagine you wearing some plaid shirts.

There is also generic advice like staying in shape which is always kind of good but honestly you look fine.

[Rhenae]

There isn't much we can advise if you don't like fairly non changeable parts of your appearance (nose/jawline). There is literally nothing we can do if you won't accept that they look fine. Fix the things you can fix (nicer looking beard I guess the beard guys have spoken, I can't grow a beard what do I know) clothing, work out etc and don't worry about what you can't change. The small stuff like that isn't a bit deal to anyone else.

[blerb]

Yeah, you look fine dude. You definitely don't need a nosejob. Like the others have said, buy some nicer clothes and work out if you want to improve your looks.

[ROFLBURGER]

How does one have a nicer beard? I know beards can be unattractive but I look worse without it so I'm not too keen on getting rid of it.

[editline]12th January 2015[/editline]

Jesus I feel like an attention whore

[Remedial Math]

YOU WANTED THIS

go with the tony stark, girls dig it

[img]http://menshairstylesguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Classical-Tony-Stark-Beard-with-Short-Greaser-Hairstyle.jpg[/img]

[Splash Attack]

It looks to me like you might trim/shave your cheeks more so than the rest of of it. Try growing a full beard if you can.

If you can't grow a proper beard however, it's probably better to not grow one at all.

[editline]12th January 2015[/editline]

[t]http://www.schwarzkopf.de/dam/sk/de/home/styling/fuer_maenner/maennerstyling/welcherbartzurfrisur/welcher-Bart-zur-Frisur-420x270.jpg[/t]

Something similar to this, if you can.

[Loopoo]

Not to be a dick or anything, ROFLBURGER, but every time you post asking for help, it's less "asking for help" and more venting / ignoring advice / constant self-deprecation.

I remember I went out of my way to inbox you and try and help you through stuff, but it's like I was talking to a brick wall. I even posted pics of me going through my op cause you were really hung up about how you looked, and GMF was being it's usual assholish self by constantly mocking you from a picture you posted, but even though I opened up to you and shared my insecurities, you still were at square one with the lack of self-esteem and nonstop harsh critiquing of yourself.

[ROFLBURGER]

I don't even remember half of that honestly. Especially on what you're saying when I ignore advice. Self esteem does not come back instantly after like 1 pep talk from one guy on the Internet.

I'm listening to advice on cleaner facial hair, do you not see me asking questions? I'm also listening to the plaid shirt ideas and weight loss suggestions but I am already eating healthier (juice instead of soda, no fast food ever, better snacks like nuts)

I just vent in the depression thread, people have mad it very clear that they don't like me venting in other threads, if it feels like I'm venting then I'm sorry.

[Loopoo]

I'm not saying self-esteem'll bounce back instantly, but it's like you [I]want[/I] to feel sorry for yourself.

[editline]12th January 2015[/editline]

Also, replacing sugary coke with sugary juice isn't a good alternative. Juice is still very high in sugar so it's not gonna be helping.

[editline]12th January 2015[/editline]

[IMG]http://i.gyazo.com/7e5631529dacfbb389f83cdcfe0807bb.png[/IMG]

It's just like, these people are trying to make you feel better about yourself, but you're such a glass-half-empty kind of person.

[ROFLBURGER]

I think I can safely say I don't want any of it and I honestly don't know where you're getting that from but that's a problem if someone believes that when I think I'm doing fine. Like idk how to prove to you that I'm listening to advice.

[editline]12th January 2015[/editline]

Yeah my self esteem issues are fucked up but that doesn't say I'm not listening to advice

[Loopoo]

[QUOTE=Just an Alt;46879775]Posting on an alt so it's less embarrassing for me.

[B]I honestly look like shit[/B], I really need to clean myself up but [B]honestly I don't go out of the house anymore[/B] since school ended because I could just talk to my friends over skype or facebook. We live in an incredibly boring town, the[B] only thing to really to is go to the movies but that costs too much and I don't have any disposable income[/B], which is pretty damn bad considering I'm an 18 year old NEET.

Anyways my [B]appearance isn't that good, people give me shit for it[/B]. [B][I]I've cleaned up but not that well honestly. I just don't care and care at the same time[/I][/B], I don't know how to properly explain it. Pretty much all through puberty and now people said I've looked like shit and that always gets me down to the point where I cared more about the insults than my actual appearance.[/QUOTE]

Even the post history on this account is just you being self-deprecating and not actually trying to change anything. You'll waltz into a thread, emotionally outpour about how much you abhor yourself, and then vanish. I've bolded the bits that literally do nothing to help.

- You're unhappy with how you look? Try actively doing something to fix it. If you're overweight or don't have much facial definition cause of bodyfat, start jogging.
- Don't leave the house anymore? Start forcing yourself to! Even if it's just to walk about alone listening to music.
- Movies cost too much? You know what's free? Chilling in the park.
- No disposable income and you're a NEET? Start job searching, even if it's just stacking shelves at night for a supermarket. Anything.
- "I don't like the way I look, I've tried cleaning up that well but I didn't put any effort in, so I still look like shit. But truthfully, I don't really care. But I do care." How are we meant to help with this?

At least do something instead of sitting on your arse and complaining that nothing's changing. It's been [I]two and a half years[/I] dude, and you're still complaining about the exact same things you did all that time ago. An attitude like yours is genuinely destructive.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;46908655][B]My jaw has an underbite, and my nose is pretty massive.[/B] I grow an actual beard + neckbeard so people don't notice my underbite and pay less attention to my nose. [B]My dentist is fucking trash[/B] so no hopes of fixing my underbite and surgery costs money for the nose and it just makes me feel awful knowing that I was bullied in school so much I'm considering getting a nosejob.

So here's the most recent picture of me.[B] I wasn't trying to look like a douchebag it's just I think I would look even more like shit if I smiled[/B]. [B][I]I don't smile anyways because I'm a cold dumbass who has nothing to really smile about[/I][/B].[/QUOTE]

You straight up haven't asked for advice, you've just pointed things out that are kind of hard to change. Overbite? See a proper dentist then instead of a trashy one. Big nose? Genes suck (trust me, I know, I was born with a deformity!), but you're a dude, it's really not as bad as you make it out to be, and people don't give a shit about such small things as you get older. All you've done is put yourself down. How can we help you if you're really not in the mindset of helping yourself? You did the exact same with me over PM. I kept trying to discuss your issues and give you methods of coping with them, but you'd change subject to some [I]other[/I] aspect of your body / personality that you hate and I think in the end I just got annoyed and gave up.

You can either complain about all this shit, or you can tell yourself enough is enough and start actively working towards making it all better. Change comes from within, not without. All we can do is try our best to tell you how damaging you're being to yourself. If you aren't willing to put any effort in, I'm sorry to say but you're gonna remain the same another two and a half years from now. You're not gonna fix jack-shit by complaining about how unhappy you are with yourself over an internet forum, dude.

[B]I've gone on a massive rant, but it's about damn time you had a wake-up call. It's thoroughly depressing seeing you're in the same exact boat you were when you came here almost three years ago, and it's made me feel really bad. I understand it can be tough, but you gotta tell yourself you're done being unhappy and start making small steps in the right direction. Before you know it, all those small steps will add up and you'll realise you're way happier than you are now.[/B]

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46912261]
Also, replacing sugary coke with sugary juice isn't a good alternative. Juice is still very high in sugar so it's not gonna be helping.
[/QUOTE]

If you find it absolutely impossible to cut out sweet drinks, at least switch to zero calorie zero sugar drinks like Coke Zero. Just making that change helped me lose 30 pounds over like a year.

[Remedial Math]

If you find it completely impossible to cut out sugary drinks, quit being a whiny bitch and cut out sugary drinks.

[ROFLBURGER]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46912420]Even the post history on this account is just you being self-deprecating and not actually trying to change anything. You'll waltz into a thread, emotionally outpour about how much you abhor yourself, and then vanish. I've bolded the bits that literally do nothing to help.
[/quote]

I've only made one depressing post on that account, and it was the one you linked. All the posts were about me trying to be friendly in the crossdressing thread and tips on losing weight.

[quote]
- You're unhappy with how you look? Try actively doing something to fix it. If you're overweight or don't have much facial definition cause of bodyfat, start jogging.
[/quote]

I'm trying to fix it, I am coming to this thread asking for advice on how to improve my appearance.

[quote]
- Don't leave the house anymore? Start forcing yourself to! Even if it's just to walk about alone listening to music.
- Movies cost too much? You know what's free? Chilling in the park.
[/quote]

Taking walks or "chilling in the park" isn't for me, I tried this before and it's just feels really depressing. I always need something to do to keep me entertained (programming, games, talking) and my friends aren't the type of people who would take long walks in the park with me.

[quote]
- No disposable income and you're a NEET? Start job searching, even if it's just stacking shelves at night for a supermarket. Anything.
[/quote]

I honestly have job anxiety, I don't want to get into it because apparently you hate my bitching so

[quote]
- "I don't like the way I look, I've tried cleaning up that well but I didn't put any effort in, so I still look like shit. But truthfully, I don't really care. But I do care." How are we meant to help with this?
[/quote]

When in the actual fuck did I say this?

I put the fucking effort in, I used to be a greasy dumbshit with long ass hair, uncontrollable acne, and really awful facial hair. Like seriously it really seems like you know more about me than I know about myself when you make these fucked up claims.

[quote]
At least do something instead of sitting on your arse and complaining that nothing's changing. It's been [I]two and a half years[/I] dude, and you're still complaining about the exact same things you did all that time ago. An attitude like yours is genuinely destructive.
[/quote]

Well I had a fucking two and a half long issue about who I am and a bunch of other shit happened to me so do you honestly expect me to walk off issues that still affect me?

[quote]
You straight up haven't asked for advice, you've just pointed things out that are kind of hard to change. Overbite? See a proper dentist then instead of a trashy one. Big nose? Genes suck (trust me, I know, I was born with a deformity!), but you're a dude, it's really not as bad as you make it out to be, and people don't give a shit about such small things as you get older. All you've done is put yourself down. How can we help you if you're really not in the mindset of helping yourself? You did the exact same with me over PM. I kept trying to discuss your issues and give you methods of coping with them, but you'd change subject to some [I]other[/I] aspect of your body / personality that you hate and I think in the end I just got annoyed and gave up.
[/quote]

because you probably had this same stupid attitude where i could just simply walk my problems off

[quote]
You can either complain about all this shit, or you can tell yourself enough is enough and start actively working towards making it all better. Change comes from within, not without. All we can do is try our best to tell you how damaging you're being to yourself. If you aren't willing to put any effort in, I'm sorry to say but you're gonna remain the same another two and a half years from now. You're not gonna fix jack-shit by complaining about how unhappy you are with yourself over an internet forum, dude.
[/quote]

omfg do you really think all I do is complain all day and not do anything about it???????????

I've went to therapy, twice. First time did a little bit, second time is seriously helping me repair my relationship with my parents.
I came out as gay to my mother and my friends, I'm still working on telling my dad. That was also a huge step for me.
I got off my anti-depressants, big step for me.
I've solved like half of my major issue with my identity which was a massive fucking step for me, I'm proud of it and I'm working on solving the other half.

[quote]
[B]I've gone on a massive rant, but it's about damn time you had a wake-up call. It's thoroughly depressing seeing you're in the same exact boat you were when you came here almost three years ago, and it's made me feel really bad. I understand it can be tough, but you gotta tell yourself you're done being unhappy and start making small steps in the right direction. Before you know it, all those small steps will add up and you'll realise you're way happier than you are now.[/B][/QUOTE]

like honestly don't even talk to me anymore your posts are actually really offensive

You claim to know more about me than I know about myself. I know myself more than anyone on this planet. Like I said above I solved most of my issues and I'm damn fucking proud of it. I'm working on most of my self-esteem issues and it really doesn't help when you claim that all I did was constantly bitch and did nothing. It also doesn't help that you're telling me I could easily walk off the rest of my problems.

[Loopoo]

We had a metric fucktonne of heart to hearts and we even spoke on Steam. The same stuff you were asking advice for two and a half years ago is the same stuff you're asking again. People from this thread put loads of effort in giving you advice / retelling personal experiences / trying their best to help you, but you jump from one issue to another instead of saying "You know what, thanks, I'll give that a try". A real life Mr Negativity.

[editline]12th January 2015[/editline]

You've got the exact same attitude as well. You just want people to pat you on the shoulder and sympathize.

[Remedial Math]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;46912972]Taking walks or "chilling in the park" isn't for me, I tried this before and it's just feels really depressing. I always need something to do to keep me entertained (programming, games, talking) and my friends aren't the type of people who would take long walks in the park with me.[/QUOTE]

Listen to podcasts, it's basically like talking to friends except you don't talk and they're not friends.

[ROFLBURGER]

[QUOTE=loopoo;46913023]We had a metric fucktonne of heart to hearts and we even spoke on Steam.
[/quote]

we spoke on steam but I don't remember it being heart to heart

[quote]
The same stuff you were asking advice for two and a half years ago is the same stuff you're asking again. People from this thread put loads of effort in giving you advice / retelling personal experiences / trying their best to help you, but you jump from one issue to another instead of saying "You know what, thanks, I'll give that a try". A real life Mr Negativity.
[/quote]

my fat fucking asshole find me the post i made in here recently jumping to another issue

[quote]
You've got the exact same attitude as well. You just want people to pat you on the shoulder and sympathize.[/QUOTE]

can you back this up and actually not ignore all the things that people actually helped me with or the things I actually addressed in your really strange post

[ImpSnob]

[QUOTE=junker154;46907621]Depends on the situation, sometimes you can use various pretenses in order to talk to a girl. But sometimes it can be hard to come up with some stuff. I always try to make a witty comment or a light joke, depending on their reaction I know if I could along with them and have a decent conversation.[/QUOTE]

thanks, also I dunno why I was dumbed but if I said something dumb in that post, sorry