Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;40946999]It really is shit, we're both over 18 anyway and they still treat her like she's a baby. They are Mormon so they are under a strict law of chastity and her parents don't want us doing anything, they are very overbearing. Some of the messages they read weren't even that bad and they flipped the shit, my girlfriend feels like it is our faults we are in this mess even though I don't agree. She said that she won't lose feelings for me but I'm scared.[/QUOTE]

All you really can do is hold out for her. I can imagine that would be hell, but you just have to have faith. If she said she wont lose her feelings for you, there's nothing you can do but believe her. Perhaps try to covertly check in on her and see how she's doing every so often (and by every so often I mean not very often; like two or three times a month maybe).

You just gotta get on with your own life as hard as it is, and trust that a couple months from now, or maybe even sooner, she'll be back in your arms. But don't play a waiting game, don't focus your life around it. If you do, it will consume you.

That said, that really is a shitty situation and it sounds like her parents are the worst. I hope things turn out for the best. If you don't mind my asking, why is she still living with them? Sounds to me like it'd be best for her to get out of there.

[Dead Madman]

Guys, I finally built up the courage to talk to a girl I really like - she's sort of quiet, rather unpopular but is really attractive and kind to people (including my self :v:)

was "Hey :)" a shit way to start off the convo? Contemplating whether or not I should've started it differently - she hasn't replied yet (although facebook hasn't said she's seen the message yet)

[Leader of Me]

[QUOTE=riku2211;40947064]All you really can do is hold out for her. I can imagine that would be hell, but you just have to have faith. If she said she wont lose her feelings for you, there's nothing you can do but believe her. Perhaps try to covertly check in on her and see how she's doing every so often (and by every so often I mean not very often; like two or three times a month maybe).

You just gotta get on with your own life as hard as it is, and trust that a couple months from now, or maybe even sooner, she'll be back in your arms. But don't play a waiting game, don't focus your life around it. If you do, it will consume you.

That said, that really is a shitty situation and it sounds like her parents are the worst. I hope things turn out for the best. If you don't mind my asking, why is she still living with them? Sounds to me like it'd be best for her to get out of there.[/QUOTE]

She needs her family's support because she is going through a hard time at the moment, even though her mother slapped her across the face and called her a slut when she found out she likes me touching her ass, and she's scared of her family cutting contact with her.

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;40947136]She needs her family's support because she is going through a hard time at the moment, even though her mother slapped her across the face and called her a slut when she found out she likes me touching her ass, and she's scared of her family cutting contact with her.[/QUOTE]

That is really terrible. I don't even know what to say. I really do hope things get sorted out for you guys.

[Leader of Me]

[QUOTE=riku2211;40947199]That is really terrible. I don't even know what to say. I really do hope things get sorted out for you guys.[/QUOTE]

Cheers man, it means a lot to me, my parents aren't even supporting me.

[Loopoo]

Leader Of Me, her parents are terrible parents, but I don't think there's going to be a happy ending. Her parents are going to indoctrinate and brainwash her into believing that having human feelings and emotions are WRONG and DIRTY and she should feel TERRIBLE and GUILTY for thinking those things.

I mean, her mother is crazy enough to slap her daughter across the face and call her a slut over this, I think it's safe to say her family is also going to try and warp her views.

Speaking from past experiences at least, it's very stressful to deal with. My ex had really religious, extremist parents, and she'd feel guilty over everything. It got to the point where I started feeling guilty myself if I ever initiated anything. Was a big mess because when we were together and alone, we were happy, but she'd get guilt afterwards that would affect her for days and it would rub off on me.

[editline]8th June 2013[/editline]

But you never know, she might realize her parents are stuck in the medieval ages and not listen to any of their crap.

[Leader of Me]

[QUOTE=loopoo;40947274]Leader Of Me, her parents are terrible parents, but I don't think there's going to be a happy ending. Her parents are going to indoctrinate and brainwash her into believing that having human feelings and emotions are WRONG and DIRTY and she should feel TERRIBLE and GUILTY for thinking those things.

I mean, her mother is crazy enough to slap her daughter across the face and call her a slut over this, I think it's safe to say her family is also going to try and warp her views.

Speaking from past experiences at least, it's very stressful to deal with. My ex had really religious, extremist parents, and she'd feel guilty over everything. It got to the point where I started feeling guilty myself if I ever initiated anything. Was a big mess because when we were together and alone, we were happy, but she'd get guilt afterwards that would affect her for days and it would rub off on me.

[editline]8th June 2013[/editline]

But you never know, she might realize her parents are stuck in the medieval ages and not listen to any of their crap.[/QUOTE]

She believes that some of the churches policies are stupid, I don't try and change her views but seeing how she has changed into this outspoken young woman who is confident in her sexuality makes me smile, now she is back to square one and is ashamed of herself, and that kills me.

[SaintBonkers]

[QUOTE=Dead Madman;40947111]Guys, I finally built up the courage to talk to a girl I really like - she's sort of quiet, rather unpopular but is really attractive and kind to people (including my self :v:)

was "Hey :)" a shit way to start off the convo? Contemplating whether or not I should've started it differently - she hasn't replied yet (although facebook hasn't said she's seen the message yet)[/QUOTE]

Ask her if she wants the ole' lickaroo'.

[Dead Madman]

[QUOTE=pansarkurt;40947814]Ask her if she wants the ole' lickaroo'.[/QUOTE]

lmao

update:

we've been talking and I managed to ask her into seeing a film with me next weekend :v: good times nigga

[dmillerw]

Oh I don't even know what I'm doing at this point, I'm just not seeing things from her point of view, (and I guess I am sort of expecting it to be easier for her to handle than it actually is). I'm stepping back though, like [I]way[/I] back. I realize that I really haven't been helping in a way that's productive at all, just the drive to [I]want[/I] to help kind of made me think I was, which is stupid. I'm not going to say a single thing on this topic unless she specifically asks for advice/starts talking about it. I feel that's probably what I should've been doing from the start.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40945338]guess what, breakups are hard. if i remember right [B]they're breaking up because of distance, it's not like they're ending it because it's a shitty relationship[/B] (going on what you posted before). so it's going to hurt.
and just because you want to help doesn't mean that you keeping her company is going to magically make all of her sorrow go away. stop blaming her for having emotions and don't expect her to want your help if you can't even respect what she's going through.[/QUOTE]

It is because of distance, yes. There were some things going on in that relationship that were bad for her though (her words, not my observations) but those don't seem to be a factor.

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;40945934]maybe [B]because she's not interested in you

i'll hang out and talk with my friends but if i'm not really interested(including as a close friend) in them i won't write long messages or have a deep conversation or anything i don't imagine she's any different[/B]

and you don't go to people to help them, especially not plan out how you're going to help them, they come to you and ask for help

you never force help on someone who doesn't want it unless they're dying or something comparable[/QUOTE]

If that was the only way she acted towards me, I'd accept that. I don't expect every person to magically become my best friend, but there are times when she is a lot more open, more chatty, and just seeming closer.

Honestly, I wanna say it's me being silly and overreacting a bit. She [I]is[/I] going through a breakup, and I haven't exactly been helping, so being distant would make quite a lot of sense. But like I said above, I'm just gonna step back. If she wants help, she'll ask for it.

[editline]8th June 2013[/editline]

-snip-

[redBadger]

i'm usually put off by smoking and drinking and shit, but I can tell this girl really, really likes me, but she happens to smoke and drink.

I'm not sure if she still does it, but would it be worth giving her a shot under the circumstance that she quit? I kind of like her too, it's just that is the only offputting thing about her.

[Dark RaveN]

[QUOTE=Dead Madman;40947111]
was "Hey :)" a shit way to start off the convo? Contemplating whether or not I should've started it differently - she hasn't replied yet (although facebook hasn't said she's seen the message yet)[/QUOTE]

Am I the only one, after being in a relationship for a long time and being already a bit experienced, just giggle at all these rookie-stupid overanalisyses? :v:

Dude, don't get it in the head, "Hey :)" has nothing wrong or anything special to do with it.

[It's crispy]

The half-asian girl I always hang out with keeps drawing herself as white. Would it be rude to ask her why? Her Mii is also a white girl, she doesn't look white at all in real life

I'm half-thai just like her too, for the record. I don't know if that changes anything but I thought it might be relevant

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=Eric95;40952911]The half-asian girl I always hang out with keeps drawing herself as white. Would it be rude to ask her why? Her Mii is also a white girl, she doesn't look white at all in real life

I'm half-thai just like her too, for the record. I don't know if that changes anything but I thought it might be relevant[/QUOTE]

I always portray myself as a huge black guy with a purple afro, I wouldn't worry too much over it.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;40952263]Am I the only one, after being in a relationship for a long time and being already a bit experienced, just giggle at all these rookie-stupid overanalisyses? :v:

Dude, don't get it in the head, "Hey :)" has nothing wrong or anything special to do with it.[/QUOTE]

to add to this, your conscious decisions aren't going to have nearly as much of an impact on her as unconscious ones/things you can't control.
for instance she probably isn't going to notice how you say "hi" so much as the fact that you're freaking out about incredibly trivial shit like saying "hi" the wrong way.

[redBadger]

[QUOTE=redBadger;40952194]i'm usually put off by smoking and drinking and shit, but I can tell this girl really, really likes me, but she happens to smoke and drink.

I'm not sure if she still does it, but would it be worth giving her a shot under the circumstance that she quit? I kind of like her too, it's just that is the only offputting thing about her.[/QUOTE]

New page bump

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=redBadger;40953488]New page bump[/QUOTE]

quitting smoking is extremely hard and painful. most people end up relapsing when trying to end an addiction.
never start a relationship expecting the other person to change. if you're not happy with who she is now then don't waste both of your time.

[It's crispy]

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;40953018]I always portray myself as a huge black guy with a purple afro, I wouldn't worry too much over it.[/QUOTE]

Well it's mostly because I really care about her and I hope she isn't unhappy with her appearance

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Eric95;40952911]The half-asian girl I always hang out with keeps drawing herself as white. Would it be rude to ask her why? Her Mii is also a white girl, she doesn't look white at all in real life

I'm half-thai just like her too, for the record. I don't know if that changes anything but I thought it might be relevant[/QUOTE]

Pale skin is a sign of beauty in most asian culture (go look at some anime and manga or manhwa etc.)
Its really noticeably if you look at korean super models, they all have the same face practically and are all quite pale. That might have left an impression on her, and if she is drawing in a manga style (since it is very common) that would be a fair explanation.

Might also just be out of habit because I find most character makers and such don't have very good asian or black skin colours.

[redBadger]

ever since I got my first girlfriend (now ex), detecting whether or not a girl is interested in me suddenly became very obvious.

Like, I can name 5 or 6 girls who constantly hit on me in some way.

[♠️♥️♦️♣️]

so i've been having a thing with this girl and we haven't really done anything besides hug and i thought it wasn't going so hot for a few reasons:

first she told me that when i see her around school her friends get uncomfortable if i get all relationshipy so i was like whatever, i mean yeah some people don't like pda.

but then we dated/hung out like 4 times, and every time i made a move she just kind of did nothing back

and 3 out of the 4 times when i thought we were going to end up kissing she sort of stared at me and a few minutes later told me she felt really sick for no reason and to give her space.

at this point you'd think like "well mobon she's not into you" but apparently she's totally into me and it actually was her being nervous or some shit and distancing myself (i kind of lost hope) made her think i wasn't into her so she almost gave up too

fokkin bitch's saying it's my fault

tl;dr: i am so pissed off right now

[Rhenae]

Well i'm moved in my apartment. Had a great first week with my bf here... my number got changed over to one for this city today (just after I put out applications now I have to re-do them all fuhhh).
My boyfriend left to go back home for work finally... cried for an hour after he left and I basically haven't let my room or eaten much all day. I miss him.
He's only an hour and a half drive away but I don't have a car and he can't visit and we can't have short 10 minute visits on his way home from work any more.... I'm headed back tomorrow with my parents to get a citizen ship thing done in the next province over but I probably won't get to see him those days and his only day off is the day i'm in a province away and wont be able to see him

This is the farthest away from him i've been before, I just want him here. It sucks when your sad because you can't be with your SO, all I want to do when I'm sad if cuddle him... and I cant.

Just want to vent that a bit. I need to get up tomorrow and do a bunch of cleaning in prep for parents coming to see the apartment.

[Leader of Me]

It's only been a day and I miss her already, we both feel like shit and we're both devastated that we have had to take a break. It sucks so much, I'm scared that she'll lose feelings for me, any advice guys?

[Raxas]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;40956522]Well i'm moved in my apartment. Had a great first week with my bf here... my number got changed over to one for this city today (just after I put out applications now I have to re-do them all fuhhh).
My boyfriend left to go back home for work finally... cried for an hour after he left and I basically haven't let my room or eaten much all day. I miss him.
He's only an hour and a half drive away but I don't have a car and he can't visit and we can't have short 10 minute visits on his way home from work any more.... I'm headed back tomorrow with my parents to get a citizen ship thing done in the next province over but I probably won't get to see him those days and his only day off is the day i'm in a province away and wont be able to see him

This is the farthest away from him i've been before, I just want him here. It sucks when your sad because you can't be with your SO, all I want to do when I'm sad if cuddle him... and I cant.

Just want to vent that a bit. I need to get up tomorrow and do a bunch of cleaning in prep for parents coming to see the apartment.[/QUOTE]

Sorry to hear that, man. You just gotta make it through to the next time you can visit. I wish I could offer something more substantial than that. :v
Good luck to you.

So, my turn, just want to get some stuff out of my system.
I've been feeling kinda lonely since I went home from college for the summer. Mundane first-world problem? Probably. It's not even that I don't have friends at home or anything. I do. Long-time, good friends that I've known for years who have stuck by me. What I'm lacking is a sense of community, in the simplest terms I can put it. My best friend Michael comes by all the time and brings his hookah and we have all sorts of people over to hang out with us. But they have a fully-functioning social group that I'm not part of. I can get my words in and even get a laugh every now and then, but I'm still not connected to this group. I'm not a part of it. I don't even share a lot of interests with them. They're car people, and I don't know anything about that and frankly it just doesn't catch my interests. I'm pretty sure that's part of the problem. I don't know anyone who shares my interests. It's hard to find groups of people who like tabletop games or sci-fi shows outside of a technical school. Probably doesn't help either that I don't have a car or a license even (working on it).
I just feel like I've grown more introverted since I came home. I don't enjoy talking to people as much anymore. Clever jokes don't come to me as easily. I don't laugh as much. As much of a living hell that my good-for-nothing calculus professor made my semesters there, I had fun. I was a part of a group of friends that did things together. The worst part is that I know I can't go back to that either. Abby, that girl with the 4th Doctor's scarf who was quiet and clever and enjoyed books and pokemon and was really cute became unusually distant and cold and just outright stopped talking to people towards the end of the Spring semester before casually revealing that she was going to a different school. Chris, the really tall nerdy guy who made lame jokes and laughed a little too hard at some things that weren't all that funny but was really endearing had to drop out. Michael, who I mentioned earlier, my best friend, was going there with me until he had top drop out as well.
I still have Dean though, who is probably one of the best friends that I have. Though thanks to that calculus professor, I can't go back until I get my calculus credit because that's the prerequisite to everything I can take from here on out, and I would have gotten it this summer if my academic adviser-whose blessing I need to transfer credits- didn't suddenly become impossible to contact during the few weeks I had to sign up for courses at the local community college. It's a big train wreck.

I apologize if my thoughts seem scattered or pointless. I just wanted to vent a little bit so I can get proper sleep.
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;40957439]It's only been a day and I miss her already, we both feel like shit and we're both devastated that we have had to take a break. It sucks so much, I'm scared that she'll lose feelings for me, any advice guys?[/QUOTE]

Stay in touch with her. Make sure to assure her that she's none of the things that her family calls her or whatever nonsense they dish out. It really helps people hearing it out loud. I know you don't want her going back to "square one", as you mentioned.

[Leader of Me]

Cheers man, it's going to be a long ride but I hope it works out for the better.

[Raxas]

Thanks man. Good luck to you. Don't give up on her. She sounds like a real gem, someone worth fighting for. That's more than some of us will ever get.

[Babyarm-bat]

My gf is visiting in 4 more days, super stoked, one month away has been hard so far. First thing I'm doing for us is making dinner,

"you can't have dinner without inner, as in, get up inner"

[Loopoo]

Make sure to prepare that shit before she arrives. Whenever I'd plan to cook for my ex, if I was starting when she arrived, nothing would get done. We'd end up eating toast.

[editline]9th June 2013[/editline]

Toast and innocent smoothies.

[lum1naire]

I found my experience of first year university wasn't much different then high school. Less drama I guess, but that's really it..

Maybe I didn't hang out with the right people, I dunno.

[xXxPR0L337SN1P4]

At least my appetite is back 5 weeks after break-up. Sometimes, the brain can be a huge dick if you do no tame it.