[QUOTE=JaegerMonster;40129827]Take up a sport or something.
There are two media fueled lies about university life:
1. That people your age are living adventurous lives and having lots of sex and and and and etc - most aren't. The ones that are don't really care for their studies and won't get qualifications and will live great lives for 2-3 years and then its all downhill after that. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that if you want something above the average you need to work at an above average rate.
2. That university is something you need to do and that you're guaranteed a job when you get out - you're not. And in this current climate, working your way up in the jobs most people think they are above is actually better rewarded, same goes for technical/skilled labor jobs which are in high demand at the moment (think trades etc).
Think outside the box in your career choices, these days lots of qualifications =/= job satisifcation or high pay. Weigh up the best case scenario of you completing your degree vs the worst case scenario of you not.
For example, firefighters have some of the highest job satisfaction reports. Why? It's a physical job, it's got a strong comraderie apsect, it pays relatively well (especially for a young single male) and firefighters are almost universally praised by the public because unlike law enforcement it's perceived as being purely helpful.
That's just one idea, what I'm trying to say is university is not really all its cracked up to be unless you've got a really solid idea of what you want to do - I'd venture 90% of people who enroll don't. An education isn't worth much unless you can do something with it, and at the end of the day if you're just as miserable in that end game job as you would be stocking shelves 9 to 5, is it worth it at all?[/QUOTE]
Thanks for your advice.
The reality of my country is:
1- Firefighters and Law enforcers are highly under payed.
2 - You won't get a good job, and I mean, a job that will work for you in the long run if you don't have a degree.
Thinking outside the box is essential, at some extent yes, but if you don't have a degree you won't get payed enough to lead a comfortable life around here. And most cases, specially one in my family of a cousin of mine who interrupted studies to pursue his passion of programming for a while, he got himself in companies having higher skills than anyone else and still guys with degrees would always get a better, most rewarding job. In most cases they would take credit for my cousin's work.
It's not easy to get work without a degree in Portugal, most people have to get a second job and still it is barely or never enough to pay your rent, IRS and other bills that come up. My cousin is a highly skilled programmer and he thinks outside the box. He actually started a company under another company and he was able to make it so profitable that he was eliminating competition. What happened was: no degree, no good pay. They fired him and kept the business model he created for themselves.
He now repairs computers all over the country, I can barely talk to him and I don't know how he can manage to get time to sleep. He has 1 year of university left 'till he finishes, but he's so swamped with work that he barely has time to finish it. And the snow ball drags ever on.
I'm afraid my worst case scenario would be dropping out of university. Right now that would be the end of me since I'm not skilled enough in my area to start my own projects. (I'm an aspiring Electrical Engineer). And despite the degree taking more time as it should, (my fault: videogames), I feel that I like what I'm doing.
To be honest, I never had a job. All the work I've done was volunteer work: Helping out in homeless shelters, soup for the poor, visiting the elderly and other things I can manage to do from time to time and I follow a very rewarding martial Art at the moment.
The problem is, I am a very disorganized person and I seem to fail in conciliating my "life-in-the-making" with my social life. I feel like I'm losing track of it at a crazy pace. I used to be excited about going out and going to concerts, now I just forget about that stuff and miss them all.
I just wanted to meet new people and I kinda lost track of where to start. The general population around my area seem to be the of the kind that "go with the flow".
Hi there again. Short question.
I feel like people have been ignoring me or brushing me off lately. I'm not entirely sure why seeing as I don't really pester anyone regularly. My texts are usually not answered and my friends are answering me in short sentences, even if I haven't heard from them for a week or two.
I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong or annoying seeing as:
1) I take care of myself so I don't think appearance/scent would be off putting
2) I'm not needy, or at least I don't feel so.
3) When I try to keep a conversation going I make sure the topic is interesting for the both of us.
Are people maybe just getting tired of me as a person or does this just sometimes happen. Or am I probably just over thinking this a bit and I think they're ignoring me when they're actually thinking of something else or something. I feel like what I say sometimes bears no weight in parties/conversations.
I'm just over analyzing aren't I?
edit:
If it helps, I do suffer from nice guy syndrome, I've been working on that, but sometimes I forget myself. I enjoy helping people, giving gifts and volunteering for things even though I sometimes am not up for something. Learning to say no is really hard man.
I don't think being a nice guy and being a "nice guy" are the same thing.
Called a girl and asked her out today. after that she apologize and asks "Who are you again?" after which there was a confusing explanation where she knows me from. After that, she's quiet for a moments and then asks if she can call me back later because her phone service was bad.
I feel like a loser.
[QUOTE=The Maestro;40138529]Called a girl and asked her out today. after that she apologize and asks "Who are you again?" after which there was a confusing explanation where she knows me from. After that, she's quiet for a moments and then asks if she can call me back later because her phone service was bad.
I feel like a loser.[/QUOTE]
Why? she had a shitty excuse to reject you. Shes not worth your time if she cant flat out and respectfully say no.
Assuming she did reject you and a thunderstorm didnt just open up.
Her voice did begin to break up near the end, but I'm still not very optimistic.
[QUOTE=The Maestro;40138664]Her voice did begin to break up near the end, but I'm still not very optimistic.[/QUOTE]
Fuck that shit, delete her number now and stop wasting your time thinking about it.
[QUOTE=JaegerMonster;40129827]Take up a sport or something.
There are two media fueled lies about university life:
-BIG SNIP-
[/QUOTE]
Damn dude... my fucking perception of everything my life has been working to up till now has been blown wide open.
thanks, I don't know quite where to go from here, but thanks.
[QUOTE=Nonikai;40137384]Hi there again. Short question.
I feel like people have been ignoring me or brushing me off lately. I'm not entirely sure why seeing as I don't really pester anyone regularly. My texts are usually not answered and my friends are answering me in short sentences, even if I haven't heard from them for a week or two.
I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong or annoying seeing as:
1) I take care of myself so I don't think appearance/scent would be off putting
2) I'm not needy, or at least I don't feel so.
3) When I try to keep a conversation going I make sure the topic is interesting for the both of us.
Are people maybe just getting tired of me as a person or does this just sometimes happen. Or am I probably just over thinking this a bit and I think they're ignoring me when they're actually thinking of something else or something. I feel like what I say sometimes bears no weight in parties/conversations.
I'm just over analyzing aren't I?
edit:
If it helps, I do suffer from nice guy syndrome, I've been working on that, but sometimes I forget myself. I enjoy helping people, giving gifts and volunteering for things even though I sometimes am not up for something. Learning to say no is really hard man.[/QUOTE]
you probably not a nice guy but a weak guy
possibly even a quiet spoken guy
im uncomfortable speaking to quiet people so i talk to them only shortly
so my roommate and i usually get along really well but we've had a few arguments the past few days and it's getting very fucking annoying.
basically whenever i express an opinion that contradicts his he'll either talk down to me like i'm a child and tell me the conversation is over or say he's going to go smoke and leave the room before i can finish my sentence.
(this is all wow drama so it's going to sound stupid but i'm mostly pissed at how childish he's acting about it. also bear with me through the wow slang i'm trying to minimize it)
our first argument involved me borrowing stuff from our guild bank, basically my bf and roommate had looked at records and saw that i took a lot of stuff from our guild bank. i spent about 10 or 20 minutes trying to explain to my roommate what i was doing and he wouldn't listen. all i had actually done was take some items out, disenchant them, and return them to the guild bank as materials - i hadn't taken anything for myself and no harm was done. however my roommate kept interrupting me every time i tried to explain this and eventually when i said "i don't understand why this is a problem" he said "i'm not asking you to understand" and followed it up with something to the extent of "i'm right because i'm your guild leader and if you don't do what i say you're grounded for a week"
i let it go because i didn't want to argue about it again and figured it wasn't worth it.
so the second argument just happened. basically my bf, roommate, and i all cofounded this guild [b]together[/b]. what's more, bf and i have been doing all the work (talking to people in our guild, leveling up the guild etc) while our roommate has done fuck-all. every time he talks in guild chat he acts like a condescending ass to our guild members while my bf and i have been constantly pitching in to help out low levels and just making friends with everyone in our guild. we're starting a raid core in our guild very soon and my bf and i are going to be leading it while (as usual) our roommate is going to have nothing to do with it at all. the issue is that only one person can be the guild leader and since our roommate was the one who started the guild he's kept that title for himself the entire time even though he hasn't done anything for our guild. every time we need guild settings changed we need to wait for him to get online but the problem is that he's the least active of the three of us and hardly does anything for the guild himself. i proposed giving my bf guild leader because (aside from the fact that this would mean our roommate doesn't get to wave around his status over me as a threat whenever we have an argument) my bf is going to need to frequently change settings that he would only have access to as a gm. furthermore i think it would be better if our gm was someone our guild members actually know instead of a condescending jackass who has done nothing for the guild except be rude to our members and occasionally kick people for bad reasons.
so i tried to talk to him rationally about it and he said about three times in a row "well i'm the only one that had the initiative to start the guild." it's become obvious that even though we agreed that the three of us are running the guild as equals, he's decided he's more important than us and values having the "gm" title more than helping our guild. while i was trying to tell him politely that my bf's more active and talks to our guild members more and it would be better if he could change settings instead of waiting for our roommate to do it since roommate doesn't need access to any of it, he just cut me off, said "i'm gonna go smoke" and walked out of the room.
i let it slide before but his attitude is actually becoming an inconvenience to us and i'm really getting sick of him cutting me off or walking out of the room instead of just sitting his ass down and listening to what i have to say.
[editline]3rd April 2013[/editline]
oh and this is the same guy who didn't warn me about the three hour drug trip i experienced a few days ago and has no fucking remorse for not telling me. so i'm still pissed at that too.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40140381]rant[/QUOTE]
He sounds like an ass. Does your bf have any opinion on this or is he steering well clear?
[QUOTE=Rhenae;40140467]He sounds like an ass. Does your bf have any opinion on this or is he steering well clear?[/QUOTE]
all he's said is it isn't worth being mad about but that i should probably talk to our roommate about it and try to sort things out (which i'm not looking forward to because all he does when we talk is interrupt me and repeat the same shit over and over). he's extremely non-confrontational himself so he doesn't like getting involved. last time my roommate and i argued i avoided him for a few hours and my bf left for a while and said he'd come back once my roommate and i had sorted shit out.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40140486]all he's said is it isn't worth being mad about but that i should probably talk to our roommate about it and try to sort things out (which i'm not looking forward to because all he does when we talk is interrupt me and repeat the same shit over and over). he's extremely non-confrontational himself so he doesn't like getting involved. last time my roommate and i argued i avoided him for a few hours and my bf left for a while and said he'd come back once my roommate and i had sorted shit out.[/QUOTE]
Sounds fair enough I guess, hopefully it goes okay for you :)
Edit:
That sounds like a good idea below
i think i've figured out how to handle it though.. i think the thing that frustrates him is that we keep interrupting each other, he has a habit of interrupting people and i have to do the same thing back because all he does is repeat himself over and over again and i can't get a chance to talk. so i'm just going to be like "okay we're going to have a conversation, i don't want to argue, and here's what's going to happen is you're going to voice your opinion and i won't interrupt you and then when you're done talking i'll voice my opinion and you won't interrupt and so on."
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40140543]i think i've figured out how to handle it though.. i think the thing that frustrates him is that we keep interrupting each other, he has a habit of interrupting people and i have to do the same thing back because all he does is repeat himself over and over again and i can't get a chance to talk. so i'm just going to be like "okay we're going to have a conversation, i don't want to argue, and here's what's going to happen is you're going to voice your opinion and i won't interrupt you and then when you're done talking i'll voice my opinion and you won't interrupt and so on."[/QUOTE]
If that dont work, just stare through him when he's talking to you. I've had success with it, people asking me if Im paying attention they then wait for an answer (because they want one) and you then rip them a new asshole saying xyz.
[QUOTE=Boss;40140578]If that dont work, just stare through him when he's talking to you. I've had success with it, people asking me if Im paying attention they then wait for an answer (because they want one) and you then rip them a new asshole saying xyz.[/QUOTE]
or i could act like an adult and try to resolve our issues instead of escalating them.
my bf and roommate are like best friends and he's like a brother to me. and we live together, do you seriously think it would be cool to "rip them a new asshole" with some condescending lecture instead of resolving conflict?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40140652]or i could act like an adult and try to resolve our issues instead of escalating them.
my bf and roommate are like best friends and he's like a brother to me. and we live together, do you seriously think it would be cool to "rip them a new asshole" with some condescending lecture instead of resolving conflict?[/QUOTE]
Your complaining about a guy who refuses to let you speak during a discussion and if he gets tired of you trying to speak to him he walks off. Im not saying its cool and I didnt say you had to give him a condescending lecture.
Making it clear your not paying attention which he has been doing to you is a simple way to get a person to shut it therefore giving you time to say your piece. Which if hes like a brother to you shouldnt be a problem.
[QUOTE=Boss;40140696]Your complaining about a guy who refuses to let you speak during a discussion and if he gets tired of you trying to speak to him he walks off. Im not saying its cool and I didnt say you had to give him a condescending lecture.
Making it clear your not paying attention which he has been doing to you is a simple way to get a person to shut it therefore giving you time to say your piece. Which if hes like a brother to you shouldnt be a problem.[/QUOTE]
aside from everything else wrong with this post..
as i said in my response to rhenae the reason he's upset is because he thinks i'm interrupting him when what's happening is we're both trying to talk over the other. pretending i'm ignoring him would just be repeating what he's aggravated about.
[editline]3rd April 2013[/editline]
and aside from that, the issue is that he's unwilling to change his stance. aside from avoiding future arguments i'm trying to persuade him to change his opinion here.
[editline]3rd April 2013[/editline]
and i'm sure you don't know this but persuading doesn't work when the person trying to persuade makes it obvious they don't give a shit about the other's perspective or reasons for disagreeing.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;40138394]I don't think being a nice guy and being a "nice guy" are the same thing.[/QUOTE]
It definitely is two different things
[QUOTE=Boss;40140696]
Making it clear your not paying attention which he has been doing to you is a simple way to get a person to shut it therefore giving you time to say your piece.[/QUOTE]
umm idk if im wrong but the problem isnt that she doesnt get to say what she wants to say
you can tell a person whatever you want but unless both people agree to some sort of conclusion or compromise yr wasting your breath saying it
[QUOTE=thisispain;40141441]umm idk if im wrong but the problem isnt that she doesnt get to say what she wants to say
you can tell a person whatever you want but unless both people agree to some sort of conclusion or compromise yr wasting your breath saying it[/QUOTE]
Right on, but the kids are arguing over video games or from what I understand its the root of the issue.
Shes not going to get into the guys skull unless he listens and from what shes described him as he isnt going to bother. The boyfriend is right in that she should ignore it but what else are you going to do if the person wont listen...
[QUOTE=Boss;40141482]Right on, but the kids are arguing over video games or from what I understand its the root of the issue.
Shes not going to get into the guys skull unless he listens and from what shes described him as he isnt going to bother. The boyfriend is right in that she should ignore it but what else are you going to do if the person wont listen...[/QUOTE]
the root of the issue is that i feel like he doesn't respect my opinions
and as of our latest conversation the issue is that he's broken our trust by trying to take over the guild and then using his authority as the guild owner to threaten to kick me if i don't do what he says even when i disagree with it
I just don't want to keep the feels because The Fountain tells me otherwise. The part where we depart is the point which always keep me from making friends.
My brain is being an asshole. What do?
I was subjected to numerous dreams about my ex last night, who I'm trying to get over.
[QUOTE=dmillerw;40146579]My brain is being an asshole. What do?
I was subjected to numerous dreams about my ex last night, who I'm trying to get over.[/QUOTE]
You don't focus on it and continue.
[QUOTE=dmillerw;40146579]My brain is being an asshole. What do?
I was subjected to numerous dreams about my ex last night, who I'm trying to get over.[/QUOTE]
Just wake up and go do other things and get your mind off of it. They go away eventually!
This chick was interested in me, turns out she's a crack whore
I don't even get crackwhores interested in me bro.
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