Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[vlad]

[QUOTE=riku2211;41049419]Nah, you're not a 'maniac bastard'. I'm in the same boat as you as well with wanting new friends/hobbies/etc. I enjoy just doing things outside as well, just nothing in particular. It was great when me and my ex would go and simply walk around everywhere talking. That's one of the things I miss the most. I remember once we actually packed lunch and went for a walk, then ate at the park. It's so hard not to think about these things.

Yeah, no form of sleep medicine seems to help me at all. We have these allergy pills that used to help but stopped working after a while (I didn't really take them that often) and not even a couple Ibuprofen PMs can get me to fall asleep. I honestly usually feel like crying at some points, but only emotionally. Like I don't get that lump in my throat and my eyes don't water up, but I just get incredibly sad until I snap back to reality. It's kind of hard for me to cry. And yeah, I know it's all in my head, but it's still so distracting and it's not easy getting over her when I think about her every night. Even when I start telling myself I won't be lonely I start daydreaming about asking out this girl I have a crush on. No matter what my brain finds some way to keep itself busy. There's no way for me to win unless I deliberately stay up until 6am. Then I can at least fall asleep within the hour.
[/QUOTE]

I find it crazy that you and me are both in a really similar situation. I'm sitting here with a smile slapped across my mouth. Me and my ex used to do the very same things. I find comfort in that, that we did the same things with our ex's. What does that mean? That there are most likely someone similar to your ex.

[editline]don't want my merge to be ruined do we[/editline]

I'm sorry for not being so helpful. Have you considered hitting the gym if you don't already? I saw a girl which I found interesting there and I'm thinking of talking to her on Monday to get to know her better.

[JohnnyMo]

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;40977375]I was right about to say this.

It brings me no pleasure to say it, it's the worst thing in the world to think about, but if you had a condom on and didn't climax, there's pretty much zero chance she could get pregnant. Pre-cum only has a small chance of containing semen if you haven't urinated since your last ejaculation.

If she's pregnant, there's a very strong chance she had sex with someone else. Sucks to say it. Sucks to think about it. My heart sinks thinking about it and it isn't even me in the situation, but that's probably what happened. Look at things realistically. The chances of getting a girl pregnant even when she's ovulating and you cum inside her aren't necessarily good. Sure, they aren't ridiculously slim, but they aren't surefire either. Those odds are dropped dramatically when a condom is introduced, even if the man ejaculates while it's inside of her. What are they, around 1-2 percent or so? And that's being generous considering condom companies don't want to get sued, most of those 1-2 percent cases are from improper usage. Then you even further slim the odds by not ejaculating at all. Hell, no ejaculation pretty much equals zero chance of pregnancy unless you've recently ejaculated without pissing, then you have that 1 in a million chance precum could get her pregnant (and that's without a condom).

Your odds of getting her pregnant in your situation are so ridiculously slim it's not even worth mentioning them. Probably literally in the 1 in a million range.

Now, what are the odds of her cheating on you? As much as it may suck to think about it, they probably aren't 1 in a million. Almost anyone is susceptible to giving in to temptation. There doesn't even have to be any problems in the relationship, she didn't even have to do it out of disdain for you, she might have just ran into an old boyfriend or some hot dude while she was drunk and he stuck his peepee in her. People make mistakes. People make mistakes far more often than precum finds its way out of a condom and gets a female pregnant.[/QUOTE]

I know this post is a few days old now but didn't he say they haven't had sex except with a condom not finishing etc. [I]since[/I], i.e. only that one time since she missed her period? Or am I misreading his post?

Also holy crap I forgot Maverick is unbanned

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=PredGD;41049597]I find it crazy that you and me are both in a really similar situation. I'm sitting here with a smile slapped across my mouth. Me and my ex used to do the very same things. I find comfort in that, that we did the same things with our ex's. What does that mean? That there are most likely someone similar to your ex.

[editline]don't want my merge to be ruined do we[/editline]

I'm sorry for not being so helpful. Have you considered hitting the gym if you don't already? I saw a girl which I found interesting there and I'm thinking of talking to her on Monday to get to know her better.[/QUOTE]

Yeah that is kind of crazy, but really cool. Certainly does make me feel better about things :v:

Don't worry about it. Even if I don't get advice it's nice to get input of any kind, especially from someone who seems to be in the same situation as me. I don't think that'd really be my kind of thing though, going to the gym. I think I'd feel relatively awkward the whole time, and honestly I'd probably prefer to just work out at home, go running, etc. Regardless, that is sort of a good idea, I'll keep it in mind. I have a friend who I [I]think[/I] goes to the gym, I'm not sure, he might just work out on his own. Guess he could help me get into that.

[vlad]

[QUOTE=riku2211;41050141]Yeah that is kind of crazy, but really cool. Certainly does make me feel better about things :v:

Don't worry about it. Even if I don't get advice it's nice to get input of any kind, especially from someone who seems to be in the same situation as me. I don't think that'd really be my kind of thing though, going to the gym. I think I'd feel relatively awkward the whole time, and honestly I'd probably prefer to just work out at home, go running, etc. Regardless, that is sort of a good idea, I'll keep it in mind. I have a friend who I [I]think[/I] goes to the gym, I'm not sure, he might just work out on his own. Guess he could help me get into that.[/QUOTE]

I used to think the way you think about going to the gym before I actually went there. :v:

I wasn't really referring to getting ripped or getting healthier in general, I thought more of the social aspect of going there. If you have a friend who goes there already, if he does, then it can only be good! He probably knows a few guys there who you'll naturally get in touch with if you keep going there if that happens. And who knows, they most likely know a few girls you might get in touch with.

[Zareox]

[QUOTE=dmillerw;41042440]It's me again.

Friend and her BF broke up last night, and she's honestly taking it rather well, at least from what she's told me. She's been a lot more talkative lately, and just seems happier.

My question now, is how in the hell should I proceed. I'm interested in her, as I've said before, but I dunno what I should do about that. For the moment, I'm still not gonna do anything but wait, since again, it was only yesterday, but I also know that doing nothing BUT waiting won't exactly get me anywhere either.

Thoughts?[/QUOTE]

Definitely give it a couple of weeks. Eventually it will hit her and she'll be upset. You just need to be there for her and support her.

[vlad]

It hurts so much to see my ex going around and having fun. A friend of her tweeted about her and herself today, my ex posted some pictures on instagram and all that. I keep getting reminded of her, which is a love hate feeling to be honest. I want to know what she's up to but at the same time not. I want to forget her as fast as I can but at the same time not. I also know that the wisest I can do right now is to unfollow her on both instagram and twitter and remove her as a friend on facebook so I won't be reminded of her all the time, but I just can't bring myself to do so. I love her, I want her back, I want to know what she is up to. This is really tough.

[editline]16th June 2013[/editline]

It's even worse because the things she are doing now are things she have always wanted to do with me but we have never managed to. Mostly because of me.

[Rhenae]

Sometimes when im getting upset and dwelling before bed I find it more helpful to just indulge myself in it. I let my mind pick at everything and get upset, then ill cry, then ill feel better.
Dont be afraid of crying, your body uses tears to get rid of some of your unhappy hormones, and it really does make you feel better.
If avoiing it isnt working just dealing with the problem more head on can.

[dmillerw]

Aww yeah. Went out to Florance with her today and went horseback riding, then made ratatouille.

At least I'm keeping her busy and happy. :)

[vlad]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41052222]Sometimes when im getting upset and dwelling before bed I find it more helpful to just indulge myself in it. I let my mind pick at everything and get upset, then ill cry, then ill feel better.
Dont be afraid of crying, your body uses tears to get rid of some of your unhappy hormones, and it really does make you feel better.
If avoiing it isnt working just dealing with the problem more head on can.[/QUOTE]

Is this directed at me? If so...

My eyes usually water up a few nights but it's never enough to actually go as far as crying, so I don't know. I know that time will fix all of my sorrows eventually, but it's hard to bear with all this. Suppose I should let a tear out once in a while if it builds up that much.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=PredGD;41052304]Is this directed at me? If so...

My eyes usually water up a few nights but it's never enough to actually go as far as crying, so I don't know. I know that time will fix all of my sorrows eventually, but it's hard to bear with all this. Suppose I should let a tear out once in a while if it builds up that much.[/QUOTE]

Both of you, and really just anyone. I know a lottt of people view crying as a sign of weakness and are afraid of doing so and resent themselves if they do.
I used to as well but ive come to terms with it over time. It helps to be able to just let it out.

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41052337]Both of you, and really just anyone. I know a lottt of people view crying as a sign of weakness and are afraid of doing so and resent themselves if they do.
I used to as well but ive come to terms with it over time. It helps to be able to just let it out.[/QUOTE]

I don't try not to cry, I just kind of don't. I didn't even cry the night she broke up with me (though I did a couple weeks before when she told me she was thinking about it). Even if I try to I can't.

Indulging it usually just makes it worse. If I just let it go on theres a point at which my brain seems to get tired of making it up on its own and I actively start thinking about it and continuing it, which will basically never stop. If I try not to actively continue it, I for some reason go back and rethink the entire thing or switch to something else. It's really annoying.

[Zarjk]

So I ended a friendship a while ago, and now it's burning holes in me. I talked to another friend about this, and I decided just now to write out that I was sorry, and I was being a little bitch.

Basically, freshman year of highschool but throw a brony into that mix and two guys competing for one girl. I eventually went to alternative school, and he got with her. I said fuck it, and gave up. However, we were still friends. But now I broke the friendship off for the stupidest reasons, and I just sent her this entire clusterfuck of text as a way to say sorry.

[quote]Virginia has given me the wisdom of having me reconsider what I've done. I am sorry for the way I acted, I truly am. I'm realizing now that late freshman year was just a cluster fuck of drama, and it truly doesn't matter. I've been doing a lot of different things to keep my mind off the mess which I created truthfully. Right now I don't know where I am going in life, and I just need you to know that I really need a pal for next year. I don't think right now I can stomach the thought of seeing you everyday, and knowing that something great could of happened. Not even a relationship, just being amazing friends. And you know what? My damned judgement of bronies got in the way. So did my jealously, and that did not work out well for me. I am not high right now, or on any kind of drug or alcohol. I am completely sober as I write this and I want you to know that I really do miss you.[/quote]

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Zarjk;41052720]So I ended a friendship a while ago, and now it's burning holes in me. I talked to another friend about this, and I decided just now to write out that I was sorry, and I was being a little bitch.

Basically, freshman year of highschool but throw a brony into that mix and two guys competing for one girl. I eventually went to alternative school, and he got with her. I said fuck it, and gave up. However, we were still friends. But now I broke the friendship off for the stupidest reasons, and I just sent her this entire clusterfuck of text as a way to say sorry.[/QUOTE]

Alright, I dont want to pry since your upset but my curiosity will always prevail over my morals :v:
How did it happen that you ditched one of your best friends because of bronies?

[conan96]

[QUOTE=PredGD;41052025]It hurts so much to see my ex going around and having fun. A friend of her tweeted about her and herself today, my ex posted some pictures on instagram and all that. I keep getting reminded of her, which is a love hate feeling to be honest. I want to know what she's up to but at the same time not. I want to forget her as fast as I can but at the same time not. I also know that the wisest I can do right now is to unfollow her on both instagram and twitter and remove her as a friend on facebook so I won't be reminded of her all the time, but I just can't bring myself to do so. I love her, I want her back, I want to know what she is up to. This is really tough.

[editline]16th June 2013[/editline]

It's even worse because the things she are doing now are things she have always wanted to do with me but we have never managed to. Mostly because of me.[/QUOTE]

Don't beat yourself up over it.
I see past relationships as opportunities to learn from previous mistakes.
You came out of this relationship learning that you never got to do the things with her that she wanted to do with you.
Now you can take that knowledge and apply it to your next relationship.
It would be wise to delete her off your social networks, because if she gets in another relationship it might be a tough blow for you to handle.
I have a girl I've not quite gotten over either.
Trust me, it's much more painful to see her happy without you then for you to not know how she's doing at all.
But, of course it's your call.

[Zarjk]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41052840]Alright, I dont want to pry since your upset but my curiosity will always prevail over my morals :v:
How did it happen that you ditched one of your best friends because of bronies?[/QUOTE]

Freshman year in high school, plus I'm kind of tarded.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Zarjk;41053051]Freshman year in high school, plus I'm kind of tarded.[/QUOTE]

Was she a brony or was she dating a brony? I just have so much trouble even comprehending peoples hate of others who like a show.

[Zarjk]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41053195]Was she a brony or was she dating a brony? I just have so much trouble even comprehending peoples hate of others who like a show.[/QUOTE]

She was dating a brony..

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=PredGD;41052025]It hurts so much to see my ex going around and having fun. A friend of her tweeted about her and herself today, my ex posted some pictures on instagram and all that. I keep getting reminded of her, which is a love hate feeling to be honest. I want to know what she's up to but at the same time not. I want to forget her as fast as I can but at the same time not. I also know that the wisest I can do right now is to unfollow her on both instagram and twitter and remove her as a friend on facebook so I won't be reminded of her all the time, but I just can't bring myself to do so. I love her, I want her back, I want to know what she is up to. This is really tough.

[editline]16th June 2013[/editline]

It's even worse because the things she are doing now are things she have always wanted to do with me but we have never managed to. Mostly because of me.[/QUOTE]

i know you feel that way now, and i did too but it made me a better person for it

i kept thinking how everything was my fault and looked at my ex having a good time and that i should have treated her better(i realize i smothered her and i really was the reason(maybe) but that's something else lol either way it made me think myself over)

but it really made me think about myself and i realized it wasn't anybody's fault, i was fine and she was fine but we were different people and we weren't meant to be, i decided i'm fine with just being friends with her(though i deleted her from fb and my phone after i thought about it i readded her lol and i was like "i'm sorry i was acted really dumb")

don't beat yourself up too much about it haha

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Zarjk;41053267]She was dating a brony..[/QUOTE]

did you let FP's prejudices affect your real life decisions

[Hanibal]

I have this female friend , we used to go out all the time and when we weren't together we we're always chatting on skype and playing games.2 Weeks ago she started to act like she doesn't know me in public , barely talks to me , doesn't look at me , whilst she acts normal with my other friends.I tried asking her what the problem is but she kept saying there was no problem when it was painfully obvious there was.Now she ignores me completely and blocks all of my calls.I tried saying I'm sorry (Dunno what I've done though)and her only reaction to my apologies were "please stop".
What can I do in this situation FP, I really miss being besties with her.

[Fire Kracker]

don't apologize to her that only makes things worse and makes you look desperate

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Hanibal;41055002]I have this female friend , we used to go out all the time and when we weren't together we we're always chatting on skype and playing games.2 Weeks ago she started to act like she doesn't know me in public , barely talks to me , doesn't look at me , whilst she acts normal with my other friends.I tried asking her what the problem is but she kept saying there was no problem when it was painfully obvious there was.Now she ignores me completely and blocks all of my calls.I tried saying I'm sorry (Dunno what I've done though)and her only reaction to my apologies were "please stop".
What can I do in this situation FP, I really miss being besties with her.[/QUOTE]

Theres nothing to apologize for since she is the one giving you the cold shoulder with no reason. Just do what she wants and leave her alone for a while. Maybe reapproach the issue after shes had a while to chill out. bugging her right now isnt doing you any good.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Hanibal;41055002]I have this female friend , we used to go out all the time and when we weren't together we we're always chatting on skype and playing games.2 Weeks ago she started to act like she doesn't know me in public , barely talks to me , doesn't look at me , whilst she acts normal with my other friends.I tried asking her what the problem is but she kept saying there was no problem when it was painfully obvious there was.Now she ignores me completely and blocks all of my calls.I tried saying I'm sorry (Dunno what I've done though)and her only reaction to my apologies were "please stop".
What can I do in this situation FP, I really miss being besties with her.[/QUOTE]

I did this once but only because the person in question was leading me on and wouldn't stop then she got really mad when I stopped hanging around with her

but if that's not the case for you then this girls sounds like a childish horrible person and you should stop trying, don't make the effort with these sorts of people

[TrulliLulli]

Hello facepunch, im hoping you can help me. Im staying at a hotel currently and usually id have not much of a problem talking to girls, but in a hotel scenario I find them very hard to approach, I know this chick likes me from eye contact and a general gut instinct but I don't know what to do. I had a good chance to open but I wasn't expecting it so I didn't take it ;(

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=TrulliLulli;41061130]Hello facepunch, im hoping you can help me. Im staying at a hotel currently and usually id have not much of a problem talking to girls, but in a hotel scenario I find them very hard to approach, [b]I know this chick likes me from eye contact and a general gut instinct[/b] but I don't know what to do. I had a good chance to open but I wasn't expecting it so I didn't take it ;([/QUOTE]

I'd slow down if I were you. If there's a natural chance for you to start a conversation do it but don't go up to her and assume because your eyes met once that she wants the D.

[Jo The Shmo]

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;41061745]I'd slow down if I were you. If there's a natural chance for you to start a conversation do it but don't go up to her and assume because your eyes met once that she wants the D.[/QUOTE]

why not?
i mean it's probably not true, and he's probably overanalyzing the situation
but what's wrong with approaching a girl who interests you and making your intentions clear instead of waiting to start a conversation "naturally"?

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;41061998]why not?
i mean it's probably not true, and he's probably overanalyzing the situation
but what's wrong with approaching a girl who interests you and making your intentions clear instead of waiting to start a conversation "naturally"?[/QUOTE]

Well he should try and approach her but he certainly shouldn't be assuming she's interested in him because of "eye contact and a gut feeling".

[Jo The Shmo]

[QUOTE=riku2211;41062013]Well he should try and approach her but he certainly shouldn't be assuming she's interested in him because of "eye contact and a gut feeling".[/QUOTE]

why not? as long as he isn't a douchebag about it and blatantly tells her "hey i know youre interested in me baby" it will at least help him feel more confident if he thinks she's interested in him already

[editline]16th June 2013[/editline]

as long as he's respectful about it, so what if she's not actually interested in him? then she will tell him so and he will move on

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;41062022]why not? as long as he isn't a douchebag about it and blatantly tells her "hey i know youre interested in me baby" it will at least help him feel more confident if he thinks she's interested in him already

[editline]16th June 2013[/editline]

as long as he's respectful about it, so what if she's not actually interested in him? then she will tell him so and he will move on[/QUOTE]

I mean I guess that's true but, I dunno, basing it off those things is just totally out of the blue.

[Jo The Shmo]

so whats wrong with being out of the blue!!
its no use waiting on your ass