Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
I spoke too soon about "not caring anymore" :v:
I'm a little depressed again, thinking of all the things we used to do together and stuff. Still hard for me to realize that its all over.
Reading all these stories about exes that I can really relate to. Massive wall of text incoming.
I really cared about my ex and I guess you could say I loved her at times (it's impossible to love anything 100% of the time unless it's a family dog that doesn't fly off the handle in old age, but that's not a story for this thread). We only dated for about three and a half months, but it was great for about 90% of the time. A couple weeks before we broke up, the relationship just started running downhill. But, before we get to that segment, we need to go way back to the beginning.
So, we started dating and everything was fine. I talked to her via texting [I]every[/I] day, sometimes letting her text me first, sometimes texting her first, whatever. I attempted to hang out with her at least once a week, and I saw her at school almost every day, as well as taking her home every day except Wednesdays. I even had a class that I sat next to her in. Things were great. Maybe three weeks in, there was a few hours where she wasn't responding over text, and I forgot to ask her if she wanted to do something that weekend, which I said. This was Sunday I believe, so she said "Well... it's not that I didn't want to, but I had the worst weekend ever." I asked her what she meant.
Basically, her dad went BATSHIT crazy for some reason, without any previous indication. Started yelling at everybody and all sorts of crazy shit, eventually leaving the house and stating that he was leaving the family behind. I don't remember any specifics other than that police were called and there was all sorts of insane crap going on. So, now her father had left the family.
Weeks pass and our relationship is still fine. Things get worse for her. She has a job working at a family member's transmission shop as a secretarial sort of person, but her dad works there too. (Nothing happened at work between her and her dad, they're in completely separate parts of the shop. Thank god.) The dad gets a divorce, and her mom takes him to court for support payments. I believe the mom has some sort of job working with kids that have developmental disorders, so she doesn't get a lot of money. I guess her dad was apparently legally "sick" with a mental illness, he only had to pay about a thousand dollars. So, they can't make their next house payment. Meaning they have to sell it and move out.
I tried to support her through all of this to the best of my ability. But there wasn't much I could do, and it's the shittiest feeling. Overall, she seemed to be the same to me. But that all changed somewhere in April I believe.
Something that was common for us to do was to joke around being "mean" to each other. I never really initiated it, it was mostly her that did it and I just went along with it. Examples would be sarcastically saying stuff like "ugh you're so annoying" and crap like that. Innocent stuff, really. This occasionally caused minor problems, and we talked about it. She said at one point later on in the relationship (close to when we broke up I think) that "she knew it was her fault but she couldn't help it." Basically she just started turning into a little bit of a hypocrite.
So, things started getting worse, and I noticed that. She started not texting me as much, not being as fun to be around, just... that kind of feeling when someone's emotionally drained or whatever. But I noticed whenever she was with our mutual group of friends that she was completely fine, and acted normal. I never confronted her about this, but I feel like I should have. She started being more reluctant with holding hands and hugging and stuff like that, and in the last couple of weeks we never really hung out with each other. I think exactly a week before we broke up she said that she couldn't take being in a relationship and that us being "mean" to eachother was emotionally draining and she couldn't take it any more. So, I said that school was probably just stressing us both out and that once it was mostly over things would get better, and we could stop being "mean" to eachother, blah blah blah.
Prom was that weekend, we danced and stuff and I had a good time. Only thing keeping the mood down was the fact that she seemed really distant and disconnected from me the entire time, but again, happy and involved with her friends and stuff. If you want to know how to feel like shit, that's how. Anyways, four days later, we break up. Basically because she couldn't handle being in a relationship and worry about someone else's feelings when her own were in question and stuff. Due to the divorce and family problems and moving out/selling their house. Which I completely respected. Something else that she said is that whenever we were together things were really awkward because nobody would say anything, and she complained that "she shouldn't have to make an effort all the time". I said that when I did try to, she was really short with me and seemed like she didn't want to talk, which she said was her "pushing away and wanting space." No win situation. I asked if she thought there might be a chance for us to be together again, and she said no, because she didn't think it was meant to be due to the "timing of the relationship" or something like that as far as I can gather. She said she still wanted to be friends and all that, but she started ignoring me whenever I saw her in person so whatever.
I was pretty depressed and upset about all that, but I'm still getting over it and I'm recovering.
So, yeah that's where I'm at. And this new girl I've been posting about has been keeping me distracted from thinking about her, which is good. I think the best way to recover from a breakup like that is just to fixate yourself on someone else, honestly. It's working for me so far. Feel like an asshole for saying it, but I hope everything works out.
[QUOTE=PredGD;41131393]I spoke too soon about "not caring anymore" :v:
I'm a little depressed again, thinking of all the things we used to do together and stuff. Still hard for me to realize that its all over.[/QUOTE]
Don't worry about a little re-lapse. It'll take time :) There will be ups and downs it fades out so theres more ups than downs eventually
On my end, I think future shop hates me. They just called asking me to go in for my "final interview" tomorrow at 9:45 in the morning. :v:
I should probably look at the break up as a positive thing. She'd hurt me a lot more in the long run. She's a person who does things you generally don't do in relationships, then she comes with all kinds of excuses trying to convince me that it was appropriate for that situation and what not. A over exegerated example would be that she knows it's not okay to have sex with others when in a serious relationship, but she could do it anyway and come with the excuse that everyone else did it at for example the party she was attending to.
I'd like to thank you guys here for all the advice you've given (it may not have been to me but it helped me out just reading it) because I had a string "camp" and normally I would have been the guy who didn't talk to anyone and avoided social contact but I ended up meeting a ton of really cool people and got invited to start a band with a guy in my section.
So thanks guys I am actually confident when talking to people now.
[QUOTE=PredGD;41132246]I should probably look at the break up as a positive thing. She'd hurt me a lot more in the long run. She's a person who does things you generally don't do in relationships, then she comes with all kinds of excuses trying to convince me that it was appropriate for that situation and what not. A over exegerated example would be that she knows it's not okay to have sex with others when in a serious relationship, but she could do it anyway and come with the excuse that everyone else did it at for example the party she was attending to.[/QUOTE]
Always look on the end of your relationship as an opportunity
I don't know about you but i'm not the kind of person who wants to stay together forever with my first girlfriend. I don't want to settle down for a good while. My dad didn't and I don't want to either - relationships are great opportunities to learn new things about yourself and about others but after a while, you stop learning and just start kind of flowing. Noone should accept that when they're only in their late teens, imo
fuck
so i went to this party with the previously mentioned girl
we danced a little bit (emphasis on a little) and i had a good time and then her stomach starts bothering her so she stops dancing and sits down
so i sit down wit her, and she has her back against me in the chair and this other dude starts talking to her so i'm feeling a little ignored but i tried to not let it bother me and then she turns around just to tell me to go and dance and have fun but not the other kid so it's like fuck
so i do, the kid keeps talking to her, then she leaves and doesn't even say anything to me to indicate that she's leaving so it's like FUCK
then i feel really blown off and pissed and shit until her friend noticed i look like i'm going to murder someone and says she just felt really really sick and that she really does like me a lot
her friend texts her to let her know that i'm raging so she texts me and apologizes and then i let her know all of the above and she texts me back pissed off as anticipated saying how she's sorry for wanting to talk to her friends and she didn't want to deal with this.
i get that she wanted to talk to her friends but i literally had five minutes of actual conversation with her the whole time, it wasn't like i was up her ass at all (to the point that you'd question if we're actually in a relationship)
and i knew that texting her would just get her mad and it would seem like i'm a jealous fucking douche but i did it anyway so now i'm angry at me but am i supposed to keep that shit bottled up or what?
in conclusion, fuck i ruined everything again by overreacting wee
Don't do that.
You probably should stop acting like its about you.
Okay, shes not talking to you constantly at this party, and leaves quickly when shes sick.
So what? I mean, sure you might not be going home with the girl tonight, and some signs suggest she may not like you, and you've gone nowhere, but even than, why would you over-react, make yourself look like that, cause drama, and burn bridges in the process?
Mindmuncher got it right, Don't do that.
[QUOTE=Mobon1;41135747]fuck
so i went to this party with the previously mentioned girl
we danced a little bit (emphasis on a little) and i had a good time and then her stomach starts bothering her so she stops dancing and sits down
so i sit down wit her, and she has her back against me in the chair and this other dude starts talking to her so i'm feeling a little ignored but i tried to not let it bother me and then she turns around just to tell me to go and dance and have fun but not the other kid so it's like fuck
so i do, the kid keeps talking to her, then she leaves and doesn't even say anything to me to indicate that she's leaving so it's like FUCK
then i feel really blown off and pissed and shit until her friend noticed i look like i'm going to murder someone and says she just felt really really sick and that she really does like me a lot
her friend texts her to let her know that i'm raging so she texts me and apologizes and then i let her know all of the above and she texts me back pissed off as anticipated saying how she's sorry for wanting to talk to her friends and she didn't want to deal with this.
i get that she wanted to talk to her friends but i literally had five minutes of actual conversation with her the whole time, it wasn't like i was up her ass at all (to the point that you'd question if we're actually in a relationship)
and i knew that texting her would just get her mad and it would seem like i'm a jealous fucking douche but i did it anyway so now i'm angry at me but am i supposed to keep that shit bottled up or what?
in conclusion, fuck i ruined everything again by overreacting wee[/QUOTE]
Nah I would've reacted the same way. It's when she texted you apologizing that you should've softened up and realized there was no problem, and simply apologized for being mad and explained yourself. It's not ruined, just apologize to her and explain yourself now. It may not even be a problem, she coulda just forgotten about it. Might be a decent idea at some point to just say "Hey I'm sorry for the way I acted at that party" etc.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;41132069]On my end, I think future shop hates me. They just called asking me to go in for my "final interview" tomorrow at 9:45 in the morning. :v:[/QUOTE]
See it as practice.
[QUOTE=JohanGS;41139971]See it as practice.[/QUOTE]
Been to it, it wen't pretty well other than me choking a little on the first question "describe yourself" I mean I was expecting it and prepped with a sentence or two, but then he just kept going "and?" "and?" :v:
I'll know in a couple days if I'm hired, my complaint about them hating me cause it was early morning and I would have to get up early and re-do my makeup again and find a new outfit (one was hard enough if they had waited a week I could have got away with the same thing darn it :v:)
I hate make-up. Screw society and its standards.
I think I'll too jump on this ongoing ex-train that has been going on here.
Last night at our cottage I stumbled upon something that reminded me of my ex, so I tried to call her. But she hung up. Then I typed out a letter of apologies for the past.
After that we texted each other for over an hour.
And luckily it wasn't a wasted effort as she forgave me.
Although it did initially surprise her and she questioned my sobriety, in the end I was surprised with how well she understood my qualms.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;41140125]Been to it, it wen't pretty well other than me choking a little on the first question "describe yourself" I mean I was expecting it and prepped with a sentence or two, but then he just kept going "and?" "and?" :v:
I'll know in a couple days if I'm hired, my complaint about them hating me cause it was early morning and I would have to get up early and re-do my makeup again and find a new outfit (one was hard enough if they had waited a week I could have got away with the same thing darn it :v:)
I hate make-up. Screw society and its standards.[/QUOTE]
Wonder what it is with the standard of that women should wear make-up?
It more often then not looks just plain unnatural.
It doesn't look necessarily bad, it just usually looks like something is a bit off.
[editline]23rd June 2013[/editline]
Damn automerge
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;41144079]Wonder what it is with the standard of that women should wear make-up?
It more often then not looks just plain unnatural.
It doesn't look necessarily bad, it just usually looks like something is a bit off.
[editline]23rd June 2013[/editline]
Damn automerge[/QUOTE]
That majority of women wearing make-up you don't notice because all women (essentially) wear make-up. It's just become an expectation that women have that smooth acne free skin and long lashes so when someone doesn't wear it they are assumed to be Ugly, since we forget that most women even wear make-up to look the way they do because its such a constant standard whenever a woman goes out.
I'm still concerned by the amount of women I know who say they feel naked without their make-up and can't go outside without doing it.
Also I got a job I am the best no one can tell me other wise I win the universe thank you very much.
Camera sales here we go!!!
how do i get the pussy
[QUOTE=RobbL;41144461]how do i get the pussy[/QUOTE]
You buy one:
[thumb]http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/01-kitten-cuteness-1.jpg[/thumb]
YesitsaterriblejokeIdontevencarerightnowIhaveajob
[QUOTE=RobbL;41144461]how do i get the pussy[/QUOTE]
it comes naturally one day, inpatient one
*more i mean
drugs, alcohol and ridiculously stupid girls
cheers babe
[QUOTE=RobbL;41144461]how do i get the pussy[/QUOTE]
Cover your dick in tuna meat and lie down near some bins.
Man, there's a concert coming up that I really want to go to but I don't have any friends at all I could go with. It's for a band that none of my friends know (I don't think many people know about them, as in, they aren't played on the radio or anything) and probably that none of them would even like. I could go with my dad but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know them either, and well, doing stuff with my dad is usually awkward silence. He and I don't have much in common quite frankly.
I've never even been to a concert so this would be a first. Really makes me wish I had friends who were like me. Or my ex. She would have gone with me :v:
[QUOTE=Rhenae;41144246]That majority of women wearing make-up you don't notice because all women (essentially) wear make-up. It's just become an expectation that women have that smooth acne free skin and long lashes so when someone doesn't wear it they are assumed to be Ugly, since we forget that most women even wear make-up to look the way they do because its such a constant standard whenever a woman goes out.
I'm still concerned by the amount of women I know who say they feel naked without their make-up and can't go outside without doing it.
[/QUOTE]
It really sounds like you are desperately trying to justify wearing make-up here...
"Everyone else does it therefore I have to" Except that they don't, certainly over here at least. It probably also depends on the interview but I know females that got hired for good jobs, research into biomechanical engineering/nanotechnology without any make-up.
[QUOTE=metallics;41146583]It really sounds like you are desperately trying to justify wearing make-up here...
"Everyone else does it therefore I have to" Except that they don't, certainly over here at least. It probably also depends on the interview but I know females that got hired for good jobs, research into biomechanical engineering/nanotechnology without any make-up.[/QUOTE]
I wear make up for interviews since your supposed to dress up and look your best.
And I heavily doubt your concept of "most girls here don't wear make up" they might not wear super noticeable smokey eyes but the majority do wear make-up. Ive been over there more than enough to see that.
Why would I be trying to "desperately justify" wearing make-up? I would rather not but there are some occasions it is necessary for.
[img]http://puu.sh/3m3d2.png[/img]
so i was just being nice to this chick, she made a few sad statuses, asked if he she needed someone to talk to (she asked before too) and im getting the feeling she doesn't really like me... lel, should i leave her alone? i really was just trying to be nice...
[QUOTE=Eeshton;41147271][img]http://puu.sh/3m3d2.png[/img]
so i was just being nice to this chick, she made a few sad statuses, asked if he she needed someone to talk to (she asked before too) and im getting the feeling she doesn't really like me... lel, should i leave her alone? i really was just trying to be nice...[/QUOTE]
She said she doesn't know you, best opportunity to start getting to know each other. If you want to.
I don't see the appeal in getting caught up in someone who appears to be so melodramatic? I know it's a phase all teens go through, but ugh. "No one likes me not even my parents and I am alone" and any attempt at helping them out is just thrown aside with replies like "No, no matter what I do I will always be lonely and I hate this world"... Alright then, not going to waste a good amount of time pointlessly trying to help you when you're closed to any advice. Enjoy being alone.
I'm glad most of my friends don't act that way, it's depressing as fuck.
I've been talking to a girl through facebook although they're on vacation halfway around the world so it's a bit difficult. Anyways as since we first met it''s just been constant "story of my life omg" and so I asked her what exactly the story of her life was, and later randomly sent her a picture of a brachiosaurus and she stopped responding. Apparently that's a real conversation killer, avoid it
Luckily I thought of a new topic so hopefully it doesn't stay as awkward as I think it might be
Really, if I'm going to be talking to someone, I'd much rather them be bubbly and optimistic and fun to talk with, rather than "Oh shit, they're getting sad again, now I gotta play the pacifist and psychiatrist role", you know? Don't get me wrong, when friends are genuinely feeling down, I'm more than happy to help, but when it's a person I'm only acquaintances with, eh no thanks, I'll give the default "Hope it gets better buddy, don't give up" reply then slowly end the conversation.
[editline]23rd June 2013[/editline]
Was meant to be an automerge, whoops.
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