Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT - General - Facepunch Forum

Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

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[QUOTE=RocketRacer;41170139]Yup, I have no luck at all. So i've tried to ask a girl I-went-out-with once(and she said he liked it) but she was saying that she is busy all the time. Today I asked her (female)friend if she knows is it true or not(she also called me once and told me that she will "help me"), and her responce was that as she didn't try, that-girl said that I'm not her "type". Why couldn't she just tell me this, instead of saying "I'm busy" all the time? Meh, I have absolutely no luck with girls in terms of girlfriends...At least I have two good female friends I can easily go out with(just friends)... [editline]24th June 2013[/editline] Posted my story, then read yours, and I thought "It's almost identical to mine."[/QUOTE] Yepp, we're pretty much in the same boat now. I don't have the best luck either. I was just thinking of just not bothering with girls or actively looking for one and focus on writing and working out, y'know self-improvement and shit.

[QUOTE=Snow_EP;41171169]So there's this girl I've been friends with for 5 years, Hannah. We met when she started dating my best friend Benjamin. Hannah, Ben and I would kick it all the time with our mutual buddy Chris. I got very close to Hannah, and although I had a girlfriend we would hang out everyday, alone. After about 2 years of friendship, I moved in with her and her parents in their spare bedroom so I could get out of my parent's place. I was there for 2 years, which actually kinda ruined our friendship a little bit since it was easy to get on each other's nerves. Once I moved out last year, we started reconnecting, I landed her a nice job, and 2 weeks ago her current boyfriend of 2 years left her. I asked her to hang out last week and she told me to come over Friday night. I came over, chilled with her and her cousin, along with Chris. So here's where it gets weird. We take a few shots, have some laughs, and plop down on the couch to watch a movie. To my great surprise, Hannah snuggled right up against me and I cuddled with her for the first time in 4 years. My arm was dangling across her shoulders, hand next to her face, when she grabbed one of my fingers with her teeth and started leaving little kisses on my hand. I'm no dipshit, the second that happened I looked down and went in for a kiss. Hannah grabs my neck and pulls me deeper, and we make out for a couple minutes. I'm completely blown away, I've wanted this girl for half a decade and it's finally going down. I stayed the night at her place; nothing happened but I was stoked to cuddle with her all night. The next morning, I was a little worried that perhaps she'd only kissed me 'cause we were drinking, but before I left her apartment we made out again, and I was the happiest guy in the world. I let things settle for a day or two, then hit her up yesterday. I just wanted to see where we were at, the whole thing was really confusing since we'd been friends for so long. She expressed to me that she was still emotionally invested in her ex and didn't want me to get hurt in the event he came back to her. She said she probably didn't want to continue anything physical as she felt guilty about kissing me. I'm an accepting guy, I understood the emotional bullshit she must have been going through and told her it was completely fine. I then told her that I still wanted to spend more time with her regardless, as we'd been reconnecting lately and I've missed her. She was happy about that. So here's the deal, I know she's physically attracted to me, at least enough to make out with me and let me grope her a bit. I'm thinking that if I ditch my single lifestyle, and focus all my energy on this girl, maybe I can make something serious happen? I think she's the most awesome girl in the world, I've always had a crush on her and I feel that if I can show her how a real boyfriend should be (her ex NEVER took her out or did nice things for her, she's been bored for 2 years), I might have an honest shot. Should I run or should I go for it?[/QUOTE] You should. If you honestly feel like that, you should try to. Be aware of the fact that if the relationship goes sour you'll more than likely lose whatever friendship you had. Happened to me twice.

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;41170139]Yup, I have no luck at all. So i've tried to ask a girl I-went-out-with once(and she said he liked it) but she was saying that she is busy all the time. Today I asked her (female)friend if she knows is it true or not(she also called me once and told me that she will "help me"), and her responce was that as she didn't try, that-girl said that I'm not her "type". Why couldn't she just tell me this, instead of saying "I'm busy" all the time? Meh, I have absolutely no luck with girls in terms of girlfriends...At least I have two good female friends I can easily go out with(just friends)... [/QUOTE] Try looking at it from her perspective. Very few people actually like rejecting others, so she's probably just coming up with an excuse to not make you sad.

[QUOTE=Snow_EP;41171169]So there's this girl I've been friends with for 5 years, Hannah. We met when she started dating my best friend Benjamin. Hannah, Ben and I would kick it all the time with our mutual buddy Chris. I got very close to Hannah, and although I had a girlfriend we would hang out everyday, alone. After about 2 years of friendship, I moved in with her and her parents in their spare bedroom so I could get out of my parent's place. I was there for 2 years, which actually kinda ruined our friendship a little bit since it was easy to get on each other's nerves. Once I moved out last year, we started reconnecting, I landed her a nice job, and 2 weeks ago her current boyfriend of 2 years left her. I asked her to hang out last week and she told me to come over Friday night. I came over, chilled with her and her cousin, along with Chris. So here's where it gets weird. We take a few shots, have some laughs, and plop down on the couch to watch a movie. To my great surprise, Hannah snuggled right up against me and I cuddled with her for the first time in 4 years. My arm was dangling across her shoulders, hand next to her face, when she grabbed one of my fingers with her teeth and started leaving little kisses on my hand. I'm no dipshit, the second that happened I looked down and went in for a kiss. Hannah grabs my neck and pulls me deeper, and we make out for a couple minutes. I'm completely blown away, I've wanted this girl for half a decade and it's finally going down. I stayed the night at her place; nothing happened but I was stoked to cuddle with her all night. The next morning, I was a little worried that perhaps she'd only kissed me 'cause we were drinking, but before I left her apartment we made out again, and I was the happiest guy in the world. I let things settle for a day or two, then hit her up yesterday. I just wanted to see where we were at, the whole thing was really confusing since we'd been friends for so long. She expressed to me that she was still emotionally invested in her ex and didn't want me to get hurt in the event he came back to her. She said she probably didn't want to continue anything physical as she felt guilty about kissing me. I'm an accepting guy, I understood the emotional bullshit she must have been going through and told her it was completely fine. I then told her that I still wanted to spend more time with her regardless, as we'd been reconnecting lately and I've missed her. She was happy about that. So here's the deal, I know she's physically attracted to me, at least enough to make out with me and let me grope her a bit. I'm thinking that if I ditch my single lifestyle, and focus all my energy on this girl, maybe I can make something serious happen? I think she's the most awesome girl in the world, I've always had a crush on her and I feel that if I can show her how a real boyfriend should be (her ex NEVER took her out or did nice things for her, she's been bored for 2 years), I might have an honest shot. Should I run or should I go for it?[/QUOTE] Go for it, don't invest all your energy in it or you might feel really shitty if something goes wrong. Be realistic about it as well, you have to consider failure as an option before anything happens. In that way, you'll take it better emotionally if she has any feelings of regret. But, by all means I think it's worth a shot.

Oh my god, I go to take my dog on a fucking walk because I planned on getting back into the habit. I figure I'll go straight to the park so I can have a little time to myself to just relax, no computer or anything just lie in the grass on the hill. What do you fucking know I see my ex walking HER dog which I guess is new with her mom. So there SHE is, happy, got a new dog, hanging out with her mother. Here I am depress and wanting a moment to myself. At first I didn't think it was her because it was dark, but I'm pretty damn sure it was. Pretty sure I know how she looks. So I just get up and leave immediately in a rage. I don't think she even fucking saw me. I just got, well, first I got the feeling I get any time I see her, a sort of sadness and longing, then I sat there for a moment and I was just fuming, and I left. I got to the sidewalk and broke out into a run down the street. I don't even fucking know why. I'm just so fucking MAD. I wanted to get back into walking my dog every day, and the time I finally decide I'm gonna do it, on the day I was finally looking up a bit, getting a bit past the depression, there she is walking her new fucking dog in the same place at the same time. I don't even get it. I have nothing but respect for her, I WANT her to be happy. But I fucking don't. I'm mad that she's happy, and I'm even mad that I have to be out of the loop in her life. Some deranged part of me actually wants her to suffer as much as she did, part of me wanted her to see me there and feel bad about herself or something, and I don't get it. I don't consciously want that for her, but I just fucking hate that I'M the one who has to sit here depressed as shit for 3 fucking months after she got over it after 3 fucking DAYS and went on to live a happy and better life. She said it right, breaking up with me WAS probably the best thing that ever happened to her. GOD I'm so inexplicably mad and I don't even know why and now my chest hurts and my stomach still feels weird as shit and I'm worse off than I was this morning. What the FUCK. [editline]24th June 2013[/editline] god im so fucking miserable

[QUOTE=riku2211;41175155]Oh my god, I go to take my dog on a fucking walk because I planned on getting back into the habit. I figure I'll go straight to the park so I can have a little time to myself to just relax, no computer or anything just lie in the grass on the hill. What do you fucking know I see my ex walking HER dog which I guess is new with her mom. So there SHE is, happy, got a new dog, hanging out with her mother. Here I am depress and wanting a moment to myself. At first I didn't think it was her because it was dark, but I'm pretty damn sure it was. Pretty sure I know how she looks. So I just get up and leave immediately in a rage. I don't think she even fucking saw me. I just got, well, first I got the feeling I get any time I see her, a sort of sadness and longing, then I sat there for a moment and I was just fuming, and I left. I got to the sidewalk and broke out into a run down the street. I don't even fucking know why. I'm just so fucking MAD. I wanted to get back into walking my dog every day, and the time I finally decide I'm gonna do it, on the day I was finally looking up a bit, getting a bit past the depression, there she is walking her new fucking dog in the same place at the same time. I don't even get it. I have nothing but respect for her, I WANT her to be happy. But I fucking don't. I'm mad that she's happy, and I'm even mad that I have to be out of the loop in her life. Some deranged part of me actually wants her to suffer as much as she did, part of me wanted her to see me there and feel bad about herself or something, and I don't get it. I don't consciously want that for her, but I just fucking hate that I'M the one who has to sit here depressed as shit for 3 fucking months after she got over it after 3 fucking DAYS and went on to live a happy and better life. She said it right, breaking up with me WAS probably the best thing that ever happened to her. GOD I'm so inexplicably mad and I don't even know why and now my chest hurts and my stomach still feels weird as shit and I'm worse off than I was this morning. What the FUCK. [editline]24th June 2013[/editline] god im so fucking miserable[/QUOTE] I have a hard time with this as well. I usually tend to see things like this. Anyone who I used to date, at least a few of them were probably glad to be rid of me. We weren't compatible. All in all, we weren't meant for each other. Thinking like that often helps me move on.

As well, it really is quite easy to let go once you know its the healthy thing to do, but you have to realize that first. Holding on to negative feelings like that towards your ex is like taking poison and expecting her to die, I forget who said that

I've cooled off now. Sorry about that. My mom and I just had a long conversation about how we don't talk finally. She'd noticed how I've been acting but never said anything. That was part of why I was acting that way. If she wasn't going to make the effort to talk to me then I didn't want to talk to her. Well now she and I just talked and, I don't know, I guess we're going to talk more now. She cried. I feel like crying but still can't even after everything. I don't know what to say to her or how. I've never been good at opening up, only to my ex was I able to truly speak my mind. I can talk to my friends better than I can my mom. I guess I have to try though. It's going to be really awkward and that's only going to make it harder. I feel like I wanna think things are going to get better now but I also feel like I shouldn't because I'm only going to be let down. Besides, I've always felt that even if I could talk to someone, they can't fix my life. They can't make me good at things or get me a girlfriend or make my life more exciting than sitting in a room on a computer. I feel like other than having an actual relationship with the other person it's not going to do me any good other than a bit of venting, and at the end of the day venting doesn't make the feeling in my chest go away. [QUOTE=babyarm-bat;41175681]As well, it really is quite easy to let go once you know its the healthy thing to do, but you have to realize that first. Holding on to negative feelings like that towards your ex is like taking poison and expecting her to die, I forget who said that[/QUOTE] I do know that I just can't help those feelings. I don't want to feel them, either. I'm hardly even aware of them. I've never wanted anything but for her to be happy, but when I actually see her happy something in me just does not like it.

[QUOTE=riku2211;41175946] Besides, I've always felt that even if I could talk to someone, they can't fix my life. They can't make me good at things or get me a girlfriend or make my life more exciting than sitting in a room on a computer. [/QUOTE] Your right in a way. We can't fix your life, or make your choices. The best thing we can do is give your options to you. So, in the end the only person who can fix your life is you. We'll be here though, in case you need support.

[QUOTE=Rammaster;41171184]Yepp, we're pretty much in the same boat now. I don't have the best luck either. I was just thinking of just not bothering with girls or actively looking for one and focus on writing and working out, y'know self-improvement and shit.[/QUOTE] I'm moving to London(from Riga, Latvia) this August, so that was one of the reasons of that-girl. And those two female friends are actually worried about me moving(we know each other for 9 years, because school, but became friends 4 years ago) so I think I should spend more time with them. [editline]25th June 2013[/editline] I actually thought about it, that the moving [I]will[/I] be the reason of not going out with me. I fucking knew it.

Ugh fuck bad news ruining my day and making me feel so shit about joining Uni.

[QUOTE=loopoo;41178271]Ugh fuck bad news ruining my day and making me feel so shit about joining Uni.[/QUOTE] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHa6HidtdC8[/media]

I really want to get a dog.

i always wanted one but i never got one because a. we were allergic, and b. we lived in a tiny flat in the middle of a busy city

I'm allergic to them too, but I can't help having them. I have a cat and even though he makes me sneeze so bad and bungs me up for the entire day, he's awesome and I wouldn't get rid of him. Hopefully if I move out this September for Uni, I'll be staying in a little detached house thingy and I'm planning on getting a pup and raising it and it'll be awesome. I'm thinking of buying a Georgian Shepherd.

[QUOTE=riku2211;41175155]Oh my god, I go to take my dog on a fucking walk because I planned on getting back into the habit. I figure I'll go straight to the park so I can have a little time to myself to just relax, no computer or anything just lie in the grass on the hill. What do you fucking know I see my ex walking HER dog which I guess is new with her mom. So there SHE is, happy, got a new dog, hanging out with her mother. Here I am depress and wanting a moment to myself. At first I didn't think it was her because it was dark, but I'm pretty damn sure it was. Pretty sure I know how she looks. So I just get up and leave immediately in a rage. I don't think she even fucking saw me. I just got, well, first I got the feeling I get any time I see her, a sort of sadness and longing, then I sat there for a moment and I was just fuming, and I left. I got to the sidewalk and broke out into a run down the street. I don't even fucking know why. I'm just so fucking MAD. I wanted to get back into walking my dog every day, and the time I finally decide I'm gonna do it, on the day I was finally looking up a bit, getting a bit past the depression, there she is walking her new fucking dog in the same place at the same time. I don't even get it. I have nothing but respect for her, I WANT her to be happy. But I fucking don't. I'm mad that she's happy, and I'm even mad that I have to be out of the loop in her life. Some deranged part of me actually wants her to suffer as much as she did, part of me wanted her to see me there and feel bad about herself or something, and I don't get it. I don't consciously want that for her, but I just fucking hate that I'M the one who has to sit here depressed as shit for 3 fucking months after she got over it after 3 fucking DAYS and went on to live a happy and better life. She said it right, breaking up with me WAS probably the best thing that ever happened to her. GOD I'm so inexplicably mad and I don't even know why and now my chest hurts and my stomach still feels weird as shit and I'm worse off than I was this morning. What the FUCK. [editline]24th June 2013[/editline] god im so fucking miserable[/QUOTE] I feel you. Same thing happened to me, sort of. I saw her, she didn't see me. She was laughing, smiling, being happy in general. She was with her friends, which I barely have anymore. Worst part is that I was waiting for someone so I couldn't leave either. So I sat there, sad, filled with rage, all sorts of emotions flowing through me. A feeling I had never felt before. My head felt heavy & clouded and my stomach had this weird and intense feeling unlike anything I had ever felt before. It's weird. We've shared so many things and she manages to separate herself from me in the matter of days, while I'm still struggling with the thoughts of her. I'm mad at her while still being extremely depressed over her. It's really weird actually. Last week I'd do anything to be with her again. But right now, while still being depressed and still having feelings for her, I'd never get back together with her even if I had the chance.

Going bowling with the girl I saw Gatsby with last week and a few of her friends at 1.

wait why are you guys mad about seeing your exes outside? they are obv happy that they got out of a crummy relationship, and u guys should too. imo if you are feeling really mad or sad for some reason, talk to your best friend(s) about it [editline]25th June 2013[/editline] i mean yes of course it pisses you off for a moment at first but in the end you should realise that it was probably only for the best, stopping you from dragging a not-working relationship to the VERY end

[QUOTE=TomZa;41180306]wait why are you guys mad about seeing your exes outside? they are obv happy that they got out of a crummy relationship, and u guys should too. imo if you are feeling really mad or sad for some reason, talk to your best friend(s) about it [editline]25th June 2013[/editline] i mean yes of course it pisses you off for a moment at first but in the end you should realise that it was probably only for the best, stopping you from dragging a not-working relationship to the VERY end[/QUOTE] I actually want one of my ex's to find someone nice, mostly so she'll stop being so miserable to me all the time.

[QUOTE=TomZa;41180306]wait why are you guys mad about seeing your exes outside? they are obv happy that they got out of a crummy relationship, and u guys should too. imo if you are feeling really mad or sad for some reason, talk to your best friend(s) about it [editline]25th June 2013[/editline] i mean yes of course it pisses you off for a moment at first but in the end you should realise that it was probably only for the best, stopping you from dragging a not-working relationship to the VERY end[/QUOTE] i'm guessing because they're jealous that their exes have moved on with their lives while they've been sitting around moping and doing nothing to move on

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;41186246]i'm guessing because they're jealous that their exes have moved on with their lives while they've been sitting around moping and doing nothing to move on[/QUOTE] this is partially true except that I have been doing a lot of progress of putting her behind me. The fact that my ex moved on so easily makes me both sad and mad. Shared so many things and she manages to move on so easily? I respect it but it's not a good feeling.

I was a bit upset when my last ex broke up with me then got with another girl 2 weeks later and then the facebook comments were a lot of "finally" and such that sounded like they had basically been flirting and almost dating for a while. It irritated me, but if anything it got me moving on faster because I was irritated at him for what felt like breaking up with me for someone else, not missing him.

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41186666]I was a bit upset when my last ex broke up with me then got with another girl 2 weeks later and then the facebook comments were a lot of "finally" and such that sounded like they had basically been flirting and almost dating for a while. It irritated me, but if anything it got me moving on faster because I was irritated at him for what felt like breaking up with me for someone else, not missing him.[/QUOTE] you learn a lot more about a person after you've broken up with them than you do while you're in a relationship. my ex who i dated for three years ended up spending months on end slandering me online to everyone i knew and sharing private pictures etc even though i did nothing to warrant it, if i had known he would behave like a child and throw a fit because someone took away his favorite toy i never would've dated him to begin with.

Well, after about a week I've realised that getting back with my ex isn't the best thing, and now I'm on the path to getting over it all. Its had its ups and downs, there have been times that I've been happy becuase I think about myself meeting someone new soon. But there's times where I do actually miss my ex and I want us to be friends, but she's just being a bit of a bitch and its hard completely cutting her out of my life. I do often feel lonely, and right now I just want a hug off someone, it would really help. [editline]26th June 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Rhenae;41186666]I was a bit upset when my last ex broke up with me then got with another girl 2 weeks later and then the facebook comments were a lot of "finally" and such that sounded like they had basically been flirting and almost dating for a while. It irritated me, but if anything it got me moving on faster because I was irritated at him for what felt like breaking up with me for someone else, not missing him.[/QUOTE] I often feel my ex has recently left me for other people, and the main thing that keeps me going is the hope that I'll meet someone better and I'll be happy with them, I hope that can give you some satisfaction too.

[QUOTE=AltUser;41187121]Well, after about a week I've realised that getting back with my ex isn't the best thing, and now I'm on the path to getting over it all. Its had its ups and downs, there have been times that I've been happy becuase I think about myself meeting someone new soon. But there's times where I do actually miss my ex and I want us to be friends, but she's just being a bit of a bitch and its hard completely cutting her out of my life. I do often feel lonely, and right now I just want a hug off someone, it would really help. [editline]26th June 2013[/editline] I often feel my ex has recently left me for other people, and the main thing that keeps me going is the hope that I'll meet someone better and I'll be happy with them, I hope that can give you some satisfaction too.[/QUOTE] Oh I know, that was almost 3 years ago now. It hurt after a 2 year relationship, mostly because I couldnt help but wonder how early he would have left if he had found another option then instead. But I learned from previous relationships not to dwell so much. I gave myself some time to cry it out then just made it my resolution to move on and be better off than I was when I was with him. Ive definitely achieved that since in so many ways, and if you remember my previous posts mentioning him he hasnt so much, he threw himself into another relationship and didn't give himself to grow on his own.

[QUOTE=PredGD;41186511]this is partially true except that I have been doing a lot of progress of putting her behind me. The fact that my ex moved on so easily makes me both sad and mad. [b]Shared so many things and she manages to move on so easily?[/b] I respect it but it's not a good feeling.[/QUOTE] Have you ever considered the possibility that they are just better at hiding their emotions? Just because they don't openly show it doesn't mean they didn't get hurt from the breakup.

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;41187304]Have you ever considered the possibility that they are just better at hiding their emotions? Just because they don't openly show it doesn't mean they didn't get hurt from the breakup.[/QUOTE] I've talked with her twice after the break up and she have told me both times that she haven't thought of me at all and is glad to be "free" and single.

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41187294]Oh I know, that was almost 3 years ago now. It hurt after a 2 year relationship, mostly because I couldnt help but wonder how early he would have left if he had found another option then instead. But I learned from previous relationships not to dwell so much. I gave myself some time to cry it out then just made it my resolution to move on and be better off than I was when I was with him. Ive definitely achieved that since in so many ways, and if you remember my previous posts mentioning him he hasnt so much, he threw himself into another relationship and didn't give himself to grow on his own.[/QUOTE] I'm glad to hear all that, it sounds like you're doing well! If I'm honest after my breakup I want to get into a relationship with someone else pretty soon, is that wrong of me? I just feel like I would really like to hit it off with someone new and be happy with them. [editline]26th June 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;41187316]I've talked with her twice after the break up and she have told me both times that she haven't thought of me at all and is glad to be "free" and single.[/QUOTE] What you have to think of is she wasn't the right person for you. And what I found is that I tended to dwell on my ex's good points only, and not think about her bad ones. But the more and more I thought about the bad points she had, the more I realised that we were not meant to be together. You have to remember that the sooner you get over this, that some time in the future you will meet someone who is far better for you. So you should be glad to be free and single, I know what its like to let all my happiness rely on one person, and when that person is taken away it's hard. But my ex is also glad to be free, and the thing is, so am I now.

[QUOTE=PredGD;41187316]I've talked with her twice after the break up and she have told me both times that she haven't thought of me at all and is glad to be "free" and single.[/QUOTE] what other response would you expect from her? unless she wanted to get back with you there's no good reason to say she misses you or something, all that would do is make you try and get back with her and cause her more problems. your relationship's over, there's no reason for you to get sucked into drama with each other.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;41187474]what other response would you expect from her? unless she wanted to get back with you there's no good reason to say she misses you or something, all that would do is make you try and get back with her and cause her more problems. your relationship's over, there's no reason for you to get sucked into drama with each other.[/QUOTE] I assume its the hurt after all that time she says that she has not missed him, when he has missed her like mad. It's just a sign to move on really, and find someone who would miss you if they were ever to be without you. [editline]26th June 2013[/editline] I've realised that I do not miss my ex that much, I just miss having a girlfriend. It really nice to just have someone who you can talk to all the time, spend time with, and everything else that comes with it.

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