Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Hickleberry]

[QUOTE=DrBreen;40148851]This chick was interested in me, turns out she's a crack whore[/QUOTE]

One time I slept with a girl who showed me a really awesome time on our date. Take her back to her place, we fuck for a few hours then lay there smoking and talking about shit. It's at this time she decides to flip on the lights and show me the track marks all over her arm and spends the next hour telling me about how she used to slam heroin. Awesome, thanks for telling me AFTER I've stuck my penis in you.

[Heigou]

I've been sending messages to asian girls on if they want my soy sauce on dating websites, I'm hoping to score.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Heigou;40150127]I've been sending messages to asian girls on if they want my soy sauce on dating websites, I'm hoping to score.[/QUOTE]

I need a rating equivalent to saying "llaaaaameee"

[Heigou]

I think I'm not good with girls, guys.

[thisispain]

neither am i
im the master at getting women pissed off at me hehe

[Hickleberry]

[QUOTE=thisispain;40150945]neither am i
im the master at getting women pissed off at me hehe[/QUOTE]

I think that's a naturally occurring trait in males.

[thisispain]

yeah but i dont mean it in like a cutesy way, i mean it in like a "it hurts my relationships" way

[Heigou]

I never get to the relationship part because I'm kind of an ass myself.

I don't care though because it means I can freely fart and throw my boogers at my wall, freedom.

[thisispain]

i dont do that anyway so those perks mean nothing to me
in fact being single is vastly overrated

[Heigou]

Holy fuck, one of the asian girl is actually interested.

[Soleeedus]

is she one of those "hot asian singles in your area"

[zukriuchen]

Being in a relationship is way more overrated than being single

[Splash Attack]

Unfortunately for me, I tend to be really clingy in a relationship, and I know it. :/

Does anyone know I how I can keep that from happening so I don't ruin this one?

[Nikeos]

try to keep yourself occupied with other things that aren't your significant other

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;40151601]Being in a relationship is way more overrated than being single[/QUOTE]

nah its awesome
only a partner can really appreciate texts containing funny pictures that i take and add captions to

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=thisispain;40151812]nah its awesome
only a partner can really appreciate texts containing funny pictures that i take and add captions to[/QUOTE]

Honestly this is one of my favourite things about being in a relationship.

[Bellminator]

Gah. I'm so clueless as to what to do right now.

The relationship I'm in has made me feel [B]worse[/B] then when I was single. No joke. I was happy-go-lucky being 4-5 months single and while the first few weeks of the relationship I'm in were great, they're not so much anymore. I feel like I'm going into some state of depression, which I absolutely hate.

The chick I'm dating is great, I love her to death, but lately I've felt like I've been doing all the god damn work for the relationship while she's just sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Worst of all is the fact that I feel bad for thinking that my feelings matter. As the chick I'm dating went through some severe depression after her mother committed suicide like 2 years ago, and while she's okay now ( as far as I know ), she's still not "happy".

I've tried setting up a time for us to meet up and just talk through shit, but all my attempts have been shot down with "I'm busy with schoolwork" ( which might be true considering how she's failing multiple classes and has been trying to pass them, but I don't fucking know ). The last time we actually went out somewhere was like 3 weeks ago, and while I'm sure it's normal for long-term couples to only go out like once a month or something, I'm pretty sure most start out with like a date or two every week.

Now I'm more pissed off than ever, as she yet again told me she would be busy with "schoolwork" today and that we couldn't meet up at all, only for me to find out she just went out with friends. And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind if she was like "I'm having a girls night out tonight" or something, but it pisses me off that she would go and lie to me about shit.

She's says she's free for Sunday, so I guess we might go out then. So now I'm just wondering if I should confront her about her lie(s) or just wait until Sunday to mention them...

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Bellmanator;40152504]Gah. I'm so clueless as to what to do right now.

The relationship I'm in has made me feel [B]worse[/B] then when I was single. No joke. I was happy-go-lucky being 4-5 months single and while the first few weeks of the relationship I'm in were great, they're not so much anymore. I feel like I'm going into some state of depression, which I absolutely hate.

The chick I'm dating is great, I love her to death, but I lately I've felt like I've been doing all the god damn work for the relationship while she's just sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Worst of all is the fact that I feel bad for thinking that my feelings matter. As the chick I'm dating went through some severe depression after her mother committed suicide like 2 years ago, and while she's okay now ( as far as I know ), she's still not "happy".

I've tried setting up a time for us to meet up and just talk through shit, but all my attempts have been shot down with "I'm busy with schoolwork" ( which might be true considering how she's failing multiple classes and has been trying to pass them, but I don't fucking know ). The last time we actually went out somewhere was like 3 weeks ago, and while I'm sure it's normal for long-term couples to only go out like once a month or something, I'm pretty sure most start out with like a date or two every week.

Now I'm more pissed off than ever, as she yet again told me she would be busy with "schoolwork" today and that we couldn't meet up at all, only for me to find out she just went out with friends. And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind if she was like "I'm having a girls night out tonight" or something, but it pisses me off that she would go and lie to me about shit.

She's says she's free for Sunday, so I guess we might go out then. So now I'm just wondering if I should confront her about her lie(s) or just wait until Sunday to mention them...[/QUOTE]

Id back off and let her come to you for the next bit of planning, just see how it goes. A good relationship really shouldn't make you feel like that.

[zukriuchen]

[QUOTE=thisispain;40151812]nah its awesome
only a partner can really appreciate texts containing funny pictures that i take and add captions to[/QUOTE]

Not saying it isn't, but it's still overrated. The notion that you NEED to be with someone really fucks with some people's emotions, and it's also a reason why people can be really needy and clingy, as well as end up in shitty relationships because they think they're going to end up alone if they don't find someone quick. Coming from another culture where that notion isn't as strong as here in the US (I don't know about other places), I must say it really bothers me.

Besides, there's no discrimination against people in a relationship, but it does happen against people who are single, especially if you're older

[robmaister12]

So I've been dealing with some identity issues and a tiny bit of depression for 2 and a half weeks now. It started with something kinda subtle that I picked up on: There's a fairly close female friend that I've been texting and writing letters to since the middle of last summer. When I came back for winter break we spent a lot of time together, even got a bit cozy while watching Skyfall in theaters. Anyways, about 2 and a half weeks ago she mentions being at her boyfriends house (without having mentioned meeting a guy in the past, she's going to an all-girls school), which lines up with her talking to me less and less. It just clicked and I came to a realization that I was just being used as a temporary patch for the loneliness she kept complaining about.

It's been about 2 years since I went on my first date with a girl. The furthest I've gone with a girl is hand-holding and like getting comfy in the back seat of a car during a long drive. And I've had to deal with a ton of rejection, having my heart broken twice, and way more anxiety than could be considered healthy. I've tried way too hard, and I feel like I've been overlooked by every girl I've ever met. Now I'm wondering why I ever tried so hard... Do I just have to keep dealing with this crap until I meet the right girl? Do I even want to be in a relationship or is it something I've been told that I want? Would I be happier alone without thinking about dating?

At the same time I feel like I'd be giving up by not thinking about dating, and that would be the easy way out. I just don't even know anymore...

Anyone else been here?

[SplinterSim4]

I think I'm going through the same thing right now rob!
I've had a lot on my mind and dating just doesn't seem like something I want to add on to my life right now. If you feel like trying to get into the dating world has only made your life more stressful, why keep doing it?

My first real girlfriend came along when I just stopped caring about dating and focused on myself for a while. Self improvement and trying to make yourself happy before trying to date is super important to being successful trying to get dates!

You don't have to deal with any crap until you "meet the right girl." Just take a breather from dating and girls, make some friends, change stuff in your life and just try and be happy by yourself.

I think I just ended up helping myself out by answering your question. Thanks for asking RobMaister!

[thisispain]

of course im sure lots of people have been in that situation
im not looking for a relationship at all right now because i have way too much going on to juggle the additional stress of dealing with something like that (tho im totally crushing on someone who feels exactly the same way grrrr)

honestly youve got nothing but time; if you dont feel like youre getting anything positive out of it dont do it

[DrBreen]

aren't you guys a ray of sunshine

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=DrBreen;40154302]aren't you guys a ray of sunshine[/QUOTE]

what a helpful and useful post

[Boss]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;40154317]what a helpful and useful post[/QUOTE]

This threads useful?

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=Yahnich;40155068]this thread has helped people a lot[/QUOTE]

Hahaha.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=robmaister12;40153937]So I've been dealing with some identity issues and a tiny bit of depression for 2 and a half weeks now. It started with something kinda subtle that I picked up on: There's a fairly close female friend that I've been texting and writing letters to since the middle of last summer. When I came back for winter break we spent a lot of time together, even got a bit cozy while watching Skyfall in theaters. Anyways, about 2 and a half weeks ago she mentions being at her boyfriends house (without having mentioned meeting a guy in the past, she's going to an all-girls school), which lines up with her talking to me less and less. It just clicked and I came to a realization that I was just being used as a temporary patch for the loneliness she kept complaining about.

It's been about 2 years since I went on my first date with a girl. The furthest I've gone with a girl is hand-holding and like getting comfy in the back seat of a car during a long drive. And I've had to deal with a ton of rejection, having my heart broken twice, and way more anxiety than could be considered healthy. I've tried way too hard, and I feel like I've been overlooked by every girl I've ever met. Now I'm wondering why I ever tried so hard... Do I just have to keep dealing with this crap until I meet the right girl? Do I even want to be in a relationship or is it something I've been told that I want? Would I be happier alone without thinking about dating?

At the same time I feel like I'd be giving up by not thinking about dating, and that would be the easy way out. I just don't even know anymore...

Anyone else been here?[/QUOTE]

I don't like to be a bummer but did you ever ask her out? From what I see here you talked for a while, hung out and got a little cozy but you never made a move to say "we are in a relationship". Then you complain when she goes on to some other guy she can see more often who will actually ask her out. She probably gave up on you because you wouldn't make a move.

Maybe your "trying really hard" is substantially too subtle and all in your head. You need outward actions to get a relationship, ones that were you ever successful in getting a relationship at all would go past hand holding.

[robmaister12]

[QUOTE=SplinterSim4;40153981]I think I'm going through the same thing right now rob!
I've had a lot on my mind and dating just doesn't seem like something I want to add on to my life right now. If you feel like trying to get into the dating world has only made your life more stressful, why keep doing it?

My first real girlfriend came along when I just stopped caring about dating and focused on myself for a while. Self improvement and trying to make yourself happy before trying to date is super important to being successful trying to get dates!

You don't have to deal with any crap until you "meet the right girl." Just take a breather from dating and girls, make some friends, change stuff in your life and just try and be happy by yourself.

I think I just ended up helping myself out by answering your question. Thanks for asking RobMaister![/QUOTE]

I'd consider myself fairly happy in most other aspects of my life. It's just been such a constant source of frustration that I guess I'd be better off without it.

Yeah, I think I'll try that out for a while, see how it goes.

[editline]4th April 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;40157455]I don't like to be a bummer but did you ever ask her out? From what I see here you talked for a while, hung out and got a little cozy but you never made a move to say "we are in a relationship". Then you complain when she goes on to some other guy she can see more often who will actually ask her out. She probably gave up on you because you wouldn't make a move.

Maybe your "trying really hard" is substantially too subtle and all in your head. You need outward actions to get a relationship, ones that were you ever successful in getting a relationship at all would go past hand holding.[/QUOTE]

I've known this girl for a really long time. She was the girl I took out on my first date. Some shit happened, I didn't talk to her for a year, then towards the end of my senior year of high school we started talking again and kept texting through my first semester of college (she stayed in California, I went to New York), and spent a lot of time together over winter break. At the beginning of Skyfall I did some boundary testing and she was fine with me feeling her up. We talked about it later and she said she was surprised I didn't try to kiss her.

I know for a fact that she doesn't like long-distance relationships, she's told me to specifically not fall in love with her, and I'm fine with just being friends with her. I'm not disappointed that she has a boyfriend, in fact I'm happy for her. I was more disappointed that she basically stopped talking to me when it happened. Like she was only a close friend because she was single.

[prop_physic]

I'm suck at being social. Otherwise, im fine.

[Zareox]

So, lately I've been having these dreams of my ex. They've been occurring nearly every night for a week now and just recently stopped (or atleast I hope so, maybe they're waiting a few days to strike again) and I'm not sure why they sprouted up in the first place. I haven't even thought of my ex for months, but it sucks because these dreams made me sorta miss her... Does this happen often to you guys? Random spurts of dreams of your ex for days on end then to go away?