Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[ART1E117]

There's this girl at work who I really like but I'm having trouble getting things rolling on account of how brutally antisocial I am. So I def gotta make more effort to talk to her.
Also she's older than me by 3 years and graduated from college already so I dunno if that'll hurt my chances. What do you dudes think?

[editline]15th July 2013[/editline]

Also I should probably start playing hockey, considering I told her I play hockey :v:

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=ART1E117;41463948]There's this girl at work who I really like but I'm having trouble getting things rolling on account of how brutally antisocial I am. So I def gotta make more effort to talk to her.
Also she's older than me by 3 years and graduated from college already so I dunno if that'll hurt my chances. What do you dudes think?

[editline]15th July 2013[/editline]

Also I should probably start playing hockey, considering I told her I play hockey :v:[/QUOTE]

Dont lie to get girls, if you have to lie they don't want to date you and wont want to :v:

The age gap might be a problem, she's at a pretty different point in her life and probably might want someone her own age.

[ART1E117]

Yeah, I figured as much
Also, the hockey thing isn't a total lie, my friends and I play pick up games in parking lots and shit all the time, I just don't play in a league or anything organized.

Oh well, other fish in the sea eh?

[sp]think I still wanna try tho cos shes p cool[/sp]
Or should I not even bother at that point, all things considered?

[damnatus]

So erh my (more social) friend invited me to a nightclub
what to expect/what to do

[NoDachi]

get drunk

[disseminate]

grind on some Whores Bro

[dmillerw]

I gotta say, even if this girl I'm interested in isn't up for a relationship, I'm still damn happy to have her as a friend. I just get the feeling she really does like being around me. We went up to Multnomah falls yesterday and just hiked and chilled and made complete fools of ourselves on the drive home to each other (lack of sleep is a dangerous thing, we both act like children).

We're even saving up for an apartment (both going to the same college, and it made sense).

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=dmillerw;41469295]I gotta say, even if this girl I'm interested in isn't up for a relationship, I'm still damn happy to have her as a friend. I just get the feeling she really does like being around me. We went up to Multnomah falls yesterday and just hiked and chilled and made complete fools of ourselves on the drive home to each other (lack of sleep is a dangerous thing, we both act like children).

We're even saving up for an apartment (both going to the same college, and it made sense).[/QUOTE]

You sound like your trying to convince yourself of something.

[damnatus]

[QUOTE=NoDachi;41468111]get drunk[/QUOTE]

thats to be expected buuut
what else

[Dr. Gestapo]

[QUOTE=qwerty000;41467516]So erh my (more social) friend invited me to a nightclub
what to expect/what to do[/QUOTE]

don't overthink it, just have some drinks, try to have fun and don't be afraid to talk to people

[dmillerw]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41469520]You sound like your trying to convince yourself of something.[/QUOTE]

...damn it, I think I am.
I need to let go, huh?

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=qwerty000;41469566]thats to be expected buuut
what else[/QUOTE]

they're really not complicated places beyond that

[Kindlinho]

[QUOTE=qwerty000;41467516]So erh my (more social) friend invited me to a nightclub
what to expect/what to do[/QUOTE]
You may do whatever feels natural to you as long as you don't go out pissing on people or something. I strongly recommend to avoid such things, really.
So yeah, just do whatever you want and have fun, but don't get yourself into trouble, though I know people that head to clubs just to seek trouble.

[MaverickIB]

[QUOTE=dmillerw;41470072]...damn it, I think I am.
I need to let go, huh?[/QUOTE]

Been there, done that.

Yes.

[zenby]

I was chilling with 2 friends and it was great, then 3 other people showed up and I didn't know them as well and I ended up hella bored while they all talked.

I need to learn how to handle this situation because I'm normally quiet and then this happens

[.Lain]

[QUOTE=qwerty000;41467516]So erh my (more social) friend invited me to a nightclub
what to expect/what to do[/QUOTE]
just go, there's not much else to nightclubs. just interact with people like you normally would and have fun, overthinking stuff usually has an adverse affect :x

[Tennisball]

Wait, Maverick is back?

we missed you, bruh

[Gulen]

[QUOTE=dmillerw;41469295]I gotta say, even if this girl I'm interested in isn't up for a relationship, I'm still damn happy to have her as a friend. I just get the feeling she really does like being around me. We went up to Multnomah falls yesterday and just hiked and chilled and made complete fools of ourselves on the drive home to each other (lack of sleep is a dangerous thing, we both act like children).

We're even saving up for an apartment (both going to the same college, and it made sense).[/QUOTE]

I don't know if the two of you moving together is such a good idea, if you're romantically interested in her while she only wants you as a friend, I'm afraid things might get a little complicated.

[NoDachi]

yeah what about when she brings other guys around to bang

[MaverickIB]

[QUOTE=NoDachi;41479696]yeah what about when she brings other guys around to bang[/QUOTE]

This.

That shit is going to destroy you. Maybe not instantly, but it will eat away at you from the inside out.

Moving in together is a terrible, terrible idea. Unless you're paying all the bills and therefore allowed to set the rules (even then it's a shit idea) it will be nothing but heartbreak for you. Living with a girl you know you have feelings for no matter how much you try to deny them, watching her bring home guys to fuck and/or coming home in the late mornings/afternoons looking like a mess after she stayed at some dude's place.

Are you really ready for that? Ready to hear the sounds of some guy plowing away at a girl you've cared out for a long time? Just try to imagine it and see how it feels. Then you'll understand why moving in together is such a horrible idea.

[Reimu]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;41475465]I was chilling with 2 friends and it was great, then 3 other people showed up and I didn't know them as well and I ended up hella bored while they all talked.

I need to learn how to handle this situation because I'm normally quiet and then this happens[/QUOTE]
This is actually a huge problem that a lot of people deal with. I see it happen a lot when I invite friends that my other friends don't know, or I'm with friends of friends I don't know.

I think it's okay to drop out of the conversation as long as you can input something now and then. Unless the strangers are going to be permanently tagging along, they're usually there to stop by and chat and then leave. But it's pretty normal if you cannot socialize as well with strangers. Meeting strangers is extremely awkward; it's never very easy.

[QUOTE=Tennisball;41452121]This is what I want to do but friends insist otherwise. Apparently if I ask her out now it's "too fast"[/QUOTE]
I hear this a lot too. I think it depends if the two of you relatively know each other and a few other things in the situation.
For instance, I asked out a friend of mine once on a spur of the moment kind of thing the first time we hung out, and she pretty much told me "I like you but I just don't want to date right now."

We already knew each other pretty well from a small Creative Writing class and talking on the Internet, so it wasn't like we were total strangers. So there was nothing wrong with that and we've pretty much put it aside since and now we're very close friends. Another guy asked her out and the same thing happened and they haven't kept in touch since. Sometimes it's better to be upfront instead of trying to butter someone up and get rejected.

In your case I say go for it. The two of you have been talking a lot and you've hung out before. I highly doubt the answer is going to change any more if you just keep waiting.

[zenby]

[QUOTE=Reimu;41480644]This is actually a huge problem that a lot of people deal with. I see it happen a lot when I invite friends that my other friends don't know, or I'm with friends of friends I don't know.

I think it's okay to drop out of the conversation as long as you can input something now and then. Unless the strangers are going to be permanently tagging along, they're usually there to stop by and chat and then leave. But it's pretty normal if you cannot socialize as well with strangers. Meeting strangers is extremely awkward; it's never very easy.[/QUOTE]

They were only there for the last hour so it wasn't so bad. And from their perspective I was also a stranger.

[zukriuchen]

I always try to start conversations between the two groups when there's people I don't know

[zenby]

I wanted to do that but I just couldn't get myself to say anything. At least I wasn't feeling any anxiety

[scarface]

so my ex is basically saying the she is horny and she needs the d, but i dont know, im thinking she wants to get me back with this shit..

to be honest i would have already banged her , but she doesnt have her own place, neither do i,

update

well actually she has empty grandmother apartment next to the house she lives, and she asked if we could be friends with benefits

i dont know what to do, but i think im gonna go over there friday

[Tennisball]

[QUOTE=Reimu;41480644]
In your case I say go for it. The two of you have been talking a lot and you've hung out before. I highly doubt the answer is going to change any more if you just keep waiting.[/QUOTE]

Well the two of us are now going to the cinema on thursday!

so yeh, this is really happening. fuqq

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=koppel;41483904]so my ex is basically saying the she is horny and she needs the d, but i dont know, im thinking she wants to get me back with this shit..

to be honest i would have already banged her , but she doesnt have her own place, neither do i,

update

well actually she has empty grandmother apartment next to the house she lives, and she asked if we could be friends with benefits

i dont know what to do, but i think im gonna go over there friday[/QUOTE]

ex sex always seems like such a good idea at the time

jus sayin

[scarface]

[QUOTE=NoDachi;41484989]ex sex always seems like such a good idea at the time

jus sayin[/QUOTE]

i could do it no strings attatched , but i gotta be sure that she has the right reasons for it...

[dmillerw]

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;41480586]This.

That shit is going to destroy you. Maybe not instantly, but it will eat away at you from the inside out.

Moving in together is a terrible, terrible idea. Unless you're paying all the bills and therefore allowed to set the rules (even then it's a shit idea) it will be nothing but heartbreak for you. Living with a girl you know you have feelings for no matter how much you try to deny them, watching her bring home guys to fuck and/or coming home in the late mornings/afternoons looking like a mess after she stayed at some dude's place.

Are you really ready for that? Ready to hear the sounds of some guy plowing away at a girl you've cared out for a long time? Just try to imagine it and see how it feels. Then you'll understand why moving in together is such a horrible idea.[/QUOTE]

I honestly hadn't even considered this. [I]Fuck.[/I]

She's a very open person, and a great friend, so I'm wondering if it'd hurt to voice these concerns. Realistically, moving in with her was my best option just in general, since neither of us had the income to get separate places to live.

[Reimu]

[QUOTE=Tennisball;41484952]Well the two of us are now going to the cinema on thursday!

so yeh, this is really happening. fuqq[/QUOTE]
Congrats! Thought things would go well for you