Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[thisispain]

thats not really what suicide is about, people with suicidal thoughts are often in a different state of mind and are not thinking rationally

and even then theres a difference between people with suicidal thoughts and suicidal people
PredGD might talk about suicide but if he wanted to die hed be dead by now

[Flapadar]

I always hate how people kill themselves by jumping in front of a train. Think of the driver damn it.

There's plenty of good cliffs you can get an adrenaline rush by jumping off while topping yourself and then the chances of someone who doesn't know you being traumatised are less.

[editline].[/editline]

And I suppose, if you survived, that rush might make you realise you want to live

[Xain777]

I have autism and have tried the suicide route (didn't succeed, thankfully) so let me try to speak from experience.
Life, no mater how much it sucks has hope to get better, but death is permanent. You will have no hope of ever being happy again if you commit suicide. However, if you can avoid killing yourself, even if it doesn't seem like things can ever get better, they can. Thinking about how dumb I was as a kid helped, oddly. I remember doing some pretty stupid stuff, but then I learned and I got better at not doing stupid things. It's very much the same with depression, you think about stupid things then you learn to think better.

[Behemoth_PT]

I've had depression a couple of times, and although it wasn't anything clinically serious, I've never ever contemplated suicide. I can't even grasp the mental mindset to try such a thing.

However, I remember I used to feel a huge lack of meaning in my life, and instead of wanting to kill myself all I wanted to do was to disappear and go somewhere meaningful. You know, one of those spiritual journeys to India, Tibete or something and then stay there minding my business without saying a word to anyone.

Staying away from home always helped me feel awesome about myself, which is curious because I don't have any domestic problems or anything, it's just that whenever I'm home I feel there's this dark energy that pulls me down to a routine that really weighs me down.

To be honest I think I know why I feel so bad when I'm home. It's because I feel guilty because I'm not doing very good at all at university and I feel I have disappointed my parents at an extent that I can no longer find meaning in what I do. I tend to feel lost and trapped from time to time and I give a lot of thought on the last 4 years of my life. I think this guilt I feel makes me feel guilty about having fun, spending money, going out and stuff. I know it may not make any sense but it's how I feel. I even volunteered to work on my dad's business (in which I am right now writing this post).

But I don't know. I feel guilty talking about having fun, or talking about spending money or movies, sports and such because here and there my mom or dad are going to tell me something like "You're cousins are finishing 3rd year in university and after 4 years you're still in the 2nd with 2 1st year subjects to do" or "you disappoint us deeply" and they keep comparing me with other successful friends of mine like they're the paragons of virtue and the role models I have to pick for my life.

I feel lost at this point because of all this, and although my dad, who has some old school ideals, sees psychology as some kind of Tabu, I think I've reached a time in my life in which I need professional help to find myself again.

It's gonna be tough to tell my mom that I disappointed her one more time and failed 5 of 6 subjects one more time this semester, but I think I really need to tell her that I feel numb and am having some internal issues and need professional help.

I guess that's it. It's kind of weird for me because I've always had this huge capacity to analyze myself thoroughly and be critical about myself but from that to seeking professional help goes a big step. The main reason is the fact that I've never reached out for a psychologist before.

[Splash Attack]

So hypothetically, there's this girl on Facebook who I went to High School with. We never really spoke other than small talk and associating with the same general group of people. She's really cute though and I regret not getting to know her. She goes to college in Chicago (3 hours away) according to her Facebook page so she'd be pretty far during the school year. From what I gather, she's also pretty quiet and shy. So what I'm asking is how do I start talking to this girl without seeming creepy or scaring her away?

[MaverickIB]

Just talk to her like you'd talk to anyone else. What do you have to lose? Stop giving a shit if you scare a girl away or something. Worse case scenario, you creep her out and she doesn't talk to you. Nothing of value is lost since it's not like you guys have talked before or whatever. She goes right back to being some girl you never really talked to.

Your irrational fear is what is going to scare her away. Stop caring and just talk to her like she's just another human being (which she is).

[vlad]

While we're at the subject of talking to strangers, how do you talk to them? :v: For me this counts for friends as well since I don't really know what is "normal" to say when starting a conversation. For example, I have a few distant friends right now but we have nothing to talk about, what do I do? Just say "hi" and? I've tried this earlier but it ends up stuck after we've barely begun talking. I feel incredibly awkward saying only "hey" or "hi" when starting a conversation, ugh.

[MaverickIB]

"Hey," followed by, "how's it going," "what's up," or, "what are you up to," are really easy ways to start a conversation. Not the most original, but who gives a shit.

Pretty simple.

[gerbile3]

So as a continuation of my thing that I have going on, which I asked about on the last page, I sent my female friend a text to hang out.
"Hey. i was wondering maybe tommorow, if your interested, in getting together, maybe get a bite to eat or something"

Did I inadvertently ask her out via text or does it sound like I just want to hang out? opinions? (she already said yes though so regardless it's gonna happen)

VVVV it's paraphrased. I just wanna know if it sounds like "ask out" or "hang out".

[.Lain]

[QUOTE=gerbile3;41557588]So as a continuation of my thing that I have going on, which I asked about on the last page, I sent my female friend a text to hang out.
"Hey. i was wondering maybe tommorow, if your interested, in getting together, maybe get a bite to eat or something"

Did I inadvertently ask her out via text or does it sound like I just want to hang out? opinions? (she already said yes though so regardless it's gonna happen)[/QUOTE]
you don't need to say 'in getting together', or 'if you're interested' for that matter

[It's crispy]

Help, I think my lesbian friend's long-distance girlfriend is getting jealous!

I used to be in love with her before figuring out she was a lesbian, you may remember me posting about her a few times in this thread. Now we're very good friends. I hang out with her all of the time and she's pretty much the only person I hang out with IRL outside of school. I'm the same to her. I guess it kind of makes sense that her girlfriend would be jealous since I'm able to hang out with her much more than her girlfriend is (they're a plane ride away from each other).

Anyway, I came across a message on her Steam profile posted by her girlfriend that said something like "hey creepy guy if you see this then stop messin with my girlfriend shes mine u PENIS FUCKER". I wasn't sure if it it was directed at me at first since I've heard that girls on Steam get hit on by creepy guys a lot. I just let it be, but now recently I saw a very similar thing posted by her girlfriend on the bulletin board in her Animal Crossing town! It was once again directed at "creepy guy", and as far as I know I'm the only guy who ever goes to her town. Somebody had also taken down something I had previously posted on her bulletin board.

Any ideas?

[b]Edit:[/b] Also worth noting is that she refers to her girlfriend as just "her friend" when talking to me, and as her girlfriend in other contexts. Did my massive amount of sex appeal turn her straight or what i don't understand

[vlad]

[QUOTE=Eric95;41557969]Help, I think my lesbian friend's long-distance girlfriend is getting jealous!

I used to be in love with her before figuring out she was a lesbian, you may remember me posting about her a few times in this thread. Now we're very good friends. I hang out with her all of the time and she's pretty much the only person I hang out with IRL outside of school. I'm the same to her. I guess it kind of makes sense that her girlfriend would be jealous since I'm able to hang out with her much more than her girlfriend is (they're a plane ride away from each other).

Anyway, I came across a message on her Steam profile posted by her girlfriend that said something like "hey creepy guy if you see this then stop messin with my girlfriend shes mine u PENIS FUCKER". I wasn't sure if it it was directed at me at first since I've heard that girls on Steam get hit on by creepy guys a lot. I just let it be, but now recently I saw a very similar thing posted by her girlfriend on the bulletin board in her Animal Crossing town! It was once again directed at "creepy guy", and as far as I know I'm the only guy who ever goes to her town. Somebody had also taken down something I had previously posted on her bulletin board.

Any ideas?[/QUOTE]

Someone needs to calm down. Your friends girlfriend can't expect her to be isolated from people just because they live far away from each other.

What to do? I don't really know, but you could ask your friend to confront her girlfriend about it?

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Eric95;41557969]Help, I think my lesbian friend's long-distance girlfriend is getting jealous!

I used to be in love with her before figuring out she was a lesbian, you may remember me posting about her a few times in this thread. Now we're very good friends. I hang out with her all of the time and she's pretty much the only person I hang out with IRL outside of school. I'm the same to her. I guess it kind of makes sense that her girlfriend would be jealous since I'm able to hang out with her much more than her girlfriend is (they're a plane ride away from each other).

Anyway, I came across a message on her Steam profile posted by her girlfriend that said something like "hey creepy guy if you see this then stop messin with my girlfriend shes mine u PENIS FUCKER". I wasn't sure if it it was directed at me at first since I've heard that girls on Steam get hit on by creepy guys a lot. I just let it be, but now recently I saw a very similar thing posted by her girlfriend on the bulletin board in her Animal Crossing town! It was once again directed at "creepy guy", and as far as I know I'm the only guy who ever goes to her town. Somebody had also taken down something I had previously posted on her bulletin board.

Any ideas?[/QUOTE]

Eh, id just leave it be. It doesnt really effect you directly its their relationship problem not yours. I'd just act like you havent seen the messages and continue as normal.

[Prez]

Wow, this took a lot of effort for some reason. I asked a friend of mine out for coffee, which took me a while to work up the courage to say. She replied with "yeah, we can go grab some as friends I'm sure". I kind of sighed, but I'm not crushed. I wasn't sure what to expect but I'm glad I know that she doesn't feel the same way!

[zukriuchen]

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;41547973]so, me and this girl met before we did a year as exchange students in the US (in different places), though we only talked irl like once before that. we texted each other like everyday for that whole year, talking about random stuff and complaining about things, because our exchange years werent really as good as we were hoping.

anyway, fast forward to about a month ago, when it ended and we all went home, and we were actually in the same flight. after we said goodbye to each other though, we didnt really talk much. now, instead of answering my messages right away on facebook she takes a while, and after some time stops replying. was the only reason she texted me so much while on the US because she hated it, and really needed emotional support? i really dont know why she'd just stop talking to me like that. i dont really have any romantic interest on her, i just think she's a really cool person and i cant understand why she'd do what she's doing.[/QUOTE]

[ReapDaWrapper]

I'm wondering if any of you can help me out with what I could do to help some of my depression/anxiety issues. So I've been very depressed the past 6 months, but it's gotten a little better I suppose. You see, my sister committed suicide back at the beginning of January. We think it was because she found out her boyfriend had been cheating on her, probably along with problems we didn't know of. She thought of him so highly and convinced herself she was in love with him, but in reality the guy was probably not going anywhere, and he was very odd. I won't go into details about it right now though. My dad has had anxiety problems throughout his life and lately my mother has had the worst problems. She freaks out at the slightest things and always assumes somethings terribly wrong. Panic attacks, very.. very.. over emotional. I also have had a lot of issues with anxiety. I've found whenever I try to think about someone whom I care about, my mind envisions them being harmed and in most cases it's brutal. It's usually just a quick thought and I immediately try to think of something else. In no way could I ever do anything like that.. I think it's just because I fear it may happen to them. It's so much harder to appreciate the little things in life. I have trouble communicating with my family. Anything they do or say somehow irritates me. I never want to spend time with my family. Maybe it's a sub-conscious way to protect myself from being heart broken like that again? I really couldn't tell you. I've also been in a relationship for 9 months now. My girlfriend has been with me through everything and we spend so much time together. When we first started dating, which was 3 or so months before my sister passed away, It was so easy to feel all the emotions and excitement that came with a new relationship. We watched movies, went on dates and to our school dances. I was really happy. Now I have trouble bonding with anyone.. even with my girlfriend. I still treat her the same, and I care for her in every way possible, but it's like my mind is blocking me off from truly feeling love -- not just from her, but from my parents, my little sister or brothers. The one thing I obviously feel the most of is sympathy for them. When I think about how the incident effected them. Even if I imagine something happening to me.. and seeing their faces. It shreds me and I end up crying in my room for hours. Although I could think about anything else and not show any disposition or feeling. It frustrates me to no end. We started to see a family counselor, but I don't think it worked as much. I, for one, didn't enjoy sharing my true feelings with my whole family. I don't know if a personal therapist would help me.. or if we could even afford it because I know for a fact we all would need one. Also, I'm usually on my computer playing games or browsing the internet, but I'm still pretty active. I run a lot, and play a lot of basketball whenever I can. It usually keeps my mind off things and helps me rest, but lately with my anxiety it just puts a lot of pressure on me as well. I worry about the basketball season, and track. I really want to skip off on track&field this year because It gave me the worst anxiety attacks when I felt I wasn't good enough. Please, I really don't know what I should do to help it.. I want to be more productive so I can keep a healthier relationship with my girlfriend, and staying on good terms with my family.

[Splash Attack]

Is it just me or are emotions just magnified tenfold before and after bed?

It seems like whenever I lay down to sleep, I can't help but think of my current situation with my now ex-gf, and it's starting to drive me nuts.

[zenby]

I have nothing on my schedule until Sunday and the one friend I have that I've been spontaneously hanging out with is busy the whole week except maybe today but they haven't responded and I feel like it would be awkward if I was the one to ask about hanging out because they're the one with a house, car, other friends who would be there etc.

[It's crispy]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41558932]Eh, id just leave it be. It doesnt really effect you directly its their relationship problem not yours. I'd just act like you havent seen the messages and continue as normal.[/QUOTE]

That's what I've been doing for now. I just don't know if it's the right thing to do

[E3245]

Guys, what is the best possible way to get a girl's cell number?
I can't go up to her and ask her because she forgot her number. Plus, I would go message her on Facebook but I know her well enough to know that she never responds to Private Messages. So, should I ask someone else for her number?

[Boss]

[QUOTE=E3245;41575354]Guys, what is the best possible way to get a girl's cell number?
I can't go up to her and ask her because she forgot her number. Plus, I would go message her on Facebook but I know her well enough to know that she never responds to Private Messages. So, should I ask someone else for her number?[/QUOTE]

Your running out of options, I'm sure your mother has a set of steak knives.

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=E3245;41575354]Guys, what is the best possible way to get a girl's cell number?
I can't go up to her and ask her because she forgot her number. Plus, I would go message her on Facebook but I know her well enough to know that she never responds to Private Messages. So, should I ask someone else for her number?[/QUOTE]

No, that's pretty weird. Let me get this straight, you asked her once and she said she'd forgotten it? Sounds to me like a gentle suggestion she's not interested.

[E3245]

[QUOTE=metallics;41575391]No, that's pretty weird. Let me get this straight, you asked her once and she said she'd forgotten it? Sounds to me like a gentle suggestion she's not interested.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it is confusing to me as well. I can't tell if she's telling the truth or pushing me away. I asked her again and she said to instead message her on FB. That was a definite mistake in my book.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=E3245;41575475]Yeah, it is confusing to me as well. I can't tell if she's telling the truth or pushing me away. I asked her again and she said to instead message her on FB. That was a definite mistake in my book.[/QUOTE]

If she said to message her on facebook then do it.
Other than that you can look up your number on your phone so i dont think she wants to text you or whatever

if you really want to why not just give her your number?

[E3245]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41575496]If she said to message her on facebook then do it.
Other than that you can look up your number on your phone so i dont think she wants to text you or whatever

if you really want to why not just give her your number?[/QUOTE]

I think I'll do that. Thanks. Also, if it says on the bottom of the message "Seen on June 17" or whatever does that me that I've seen it or she has?

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=E3245;41575688]I think I'll do that. Thanks. Also, if it says on the bottom of the message "Seen on June 17" or whatever does that me that I've seen it or she has?[/QUOTE]

If it's a message you have sent, the date refers to when the other person saw it.

[Lexinator]

So theres this cute chick who works at the retail shop of where i volunteer who we occasionally talk and a few jokes, wondering how to not be spaghetti.

[Leader of Me]

I'm being bloody paranoid I know, but I'm worried that my ex will find out that I smoked weed after we broke up because she needed to sort her problems out at home etc. I'm worried that if she finds out she will lose respect for me and refuse to go out with me again. This paranoia is probably from the weed as well.

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;41575828]I'm being bloody paranoid I know, but I'm worried that my ex will find out that I smoked weed after we broke up because she needed to sort her problems out at home etc. I'm worried that if she finds out she will lose respect for me and refuse to go out with me again. This paranoia is probably from the weed as well.[/QUOTE]

Stop smoking weed then

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=metallics;41575391]No, that's pretty weird. Let me get this straight, you asked her once and she said she'd forgotten it? Sounds to me like a gentle suggestion she's not interested.[/QUOTE]
nah i forget my number all the time

but if she wanted to give it to you she would have looked it up on her phone(like i do when i forget)

she probably isn't interested

[editline]24th July 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;41575828]I'm being bloody paranoid I know, but I'm worried that my ex will find out that I smoked weed after we broke up because she needed to sort her problems out at home etc. I'm worried that if she finds out she will lose respect for me and refuse to go out with me again. This paranoia is probably from the weed as well.[/QUOTE]

she'll lose more respect if you aren't honest with her about it

quit or tell her don't hide it just to make her go out with you