• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Eric95;41557969]Help, I think my lesbian friend's long-distance girlfriend is getting jealous! I used to be in love with her before figuring out she was a lesbian, you may remember me posting about her a few times in this thread. Now we're very good friends. I hang out with her all of the time and she's pretty much the only person I hang out with IRL outside of school. I'm the same to her. I guess it kind of makes sense that her girlfriend would be jealous since I'm able to hang out with her much more than her girlfriend is (they're a plane ride away from each other). Anyway, I came across a message on her Steam profile posted by her girlfriend that said something like "hey creepy guy if you see this then stop messin with my girlfriend shes mine u PENIS FUCKER". I wasn't sure if it it was directed at me at first since I've heard that girls on Steam get hit on by creepy guys a lot. I just let it be, but now recently I saw a very similar thing posted by her girlfriend on the bulletin board in her Animal Crossing town! It was once again directed at "creepy guy", and as far as I know I'm the only guy who ever goes to her town. Somebody had also taken down something I had previously posted on her bulletin board. Any ideas? [b]Edit:[/b] Also worth noting is that she refers to her girlfriend as just "her friend" when talking to me, and as her girlfriend in other contexts. Did my massive amount of sex appeal turn her straight or what i don't understand[/QUOTE] Penis fucker?
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;41576957]nah i forget my number all the time but if she wanted to give it to you she would have looked it up on her phone(like i do when i forget) she probably isn't interested [/QUOTE] That's exactly what I meant.
Okay so I've been seeing this girl for like a week now. We've decided to take it slow. We went to the cinema and yesterday we went out and took photos (we're both into photography) together and held hands and stuff. We ended up snuggling (wow wot a gay word) on a bench for like an hour just chatting, it was really nice. We ended up kissing (well, it was a peck on the lips) both times. Now my problem really is what next? Like, I'm completely happy with how we are for now, but I'm kinda worried she might get bored? Even though it was her that wanted to take it slow (she came out of a complicated relationship "fairly recently") I feel like she might be expecting me to take it further. What should our next date be? One of my friends suggested inviting her to my house but I think that'll seem waaaaay too intense. Would going to a social gathering (like a barbecue or something) but a good idea? Only problem is none of my friends have any plans like that sooo idk idk idk help me fp
So Tuesday, like I said in a previous post, I was supposed to hang out with a female acquaintance who I would possibly like to go on a date with. She texted me yesterday saying we would need to reschedule because she was asked to watch some young family members. I suggested another time and she just never responded. Should I just wait till tonight and ask her if she got it (which is about 36 hours since I sent it) or Just forget it?
[QUOTE=Tennisball;41577561]Okay so I've been seeing this girl for like a week now. We've decided to take it slow. We went to the cinema and yesterday we went out and took photos (we're both into photography) together and held hands and stuff. We ended up snuggling (wow wot a gay word) on a bench for like an hour just chatting, it was really nice. We ended up kissing (well, it was a peck on the lips) both times. Now my problem really is what next? Like, I'm completely happy with how we are for now, but I'm kinda worried she might get bored? Even though it was her that wanted to take it slow (she came out of a complicated relationship "fairly recently") I feel like she might be expecting me to take it further. What should our next date be? One of my friends suggested inviting her to my house but I think that'll seem waaaaay too intense. Would going to a social gathering (like a barbecue or something) but a good idea? Only problem is none of my friends have any plans like that sooo idk idk idk help me fp[/QUOTE] How old are you? Not saying this in a demeaning sort of way, just trying to tailor my advice, you dig? I see you live in the UK, too, so I'm guessing you don't have your own place yet? If you do, I'd suggest inviting her over for dinner. Look up an easy, but impressive looking recipe and cook her a nice meal. It can be a pretty casual affair, but still as intimate as it needs to be, you dig? If you're still living at home or if you're both mid-teens, then I could see how that'd potentially be a bit awkward, though! If you do still live with your family, invite her over to watch a movie in your room or something. Order a pizza, have a light drink if you're of age for it. Either way, don't feel too rushed about things! Listen to your gut, and let it go however feels right. Keep in mind that you shouldn't be afraid to be alone with her, though (after all, you're already dating the girl), and remember that you don't have to make a move the first time she comes over if you're not comfortable with it. If she's cozing up to you on a park bench, I'd probably take that as a sign that she's feeling pretty comfortable with you so far, so just keep your cool.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;41579179]How old are you? Not saying this in a demeaning sort of way, just trying to tailor my advice, you dig? I see you live in the UK, too, so I'm guessing you don't have your own place yet? If you do, I'd suggest inviting her over for dinner. Look up an easy, but impressive looking recipe and cook her a nice meal. It can be a pretty casual affair, but still as intimate as it needs to be, you dig? If you're still living at home or if you're both mid-teens, then I could see how that'd potentially be a bit awkward, though! If you do still live with your family, invite her over to watch a movie in your room or something. Order a pizza, have a light drink if you're of age for it. Either way, don't feel too rushed about things! Listen to your gut, and let it go however feels right. Keep in mind that you shouldn't be afraid to be alone with her, though (after all, you're already dating the girl), and remember that you don't have to make a move the first time she comes over if you're not comfortable with it. If she's cozing up to you on a park bench, I'd probably take that as a sign that she's feeling pretty comfortable with you so far, so just keep your cool.[/QUOTE] We're 17, both still living at home... I'll invite her over to watch a film though! Thanks man [editline]24th July 2013[/editline] would it be too ~~~beta~~~~~~ if i say to her that i'd understand if she thought it was too intense?
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;41576957]nah i forget my number all the time but if she wanted to give it to you she would have looked it up on her phone(like i do when i forget) she probably isn't interested[/QUOTE] Then what are the signs that she likes me? Isn't glancing and smiling at a guy one of the signs?
it CAN be one of the signs but it doesn't sound like it in this situation
She showed these signs for over 5 months. I catch her glancing at me almost every day, and sometimes she smiles at me. I just don't get it...
well i mean none of us know the full situation, just message her on fb like she told you to and see where it goes from there
Yeah, I guess I'll wait until something happens. I won't have time for now to check because I have to write a speech about prejudice.
Waiting isn't necessarily the best way to go at it. If it's been five months and there's been no advancements, then there's probably not much of a point to just keep waiting for something. However, this doesn't really mean just to give up. Even though the whole smiling thing isn't really a sign that she has feelings, it is a sign that you have a good chance if you were to go for it.
[QUOTE=E3245;41581292]She showed these signs for over 5 months. I catch her glancing at me almost every day, and sometimes she smiles at me. I just don't get it...[/QUOTE] "omg a girl looked at me and smiles sometimes she wants the d" Im gonna assume you have some better evidence than just not being rude. :v:
[QUOTE=Tennisball;41580878]We're 17, both still living at home... I'll invite her over to watch a film though! Thanks man [editline]24th July 2013[/editline] would it be too ~~~beta~~~~~~ if i say to her that i'd understand if she thought it was too intense?[/QUOTE] I wouldn't. You don't want to baby her, you know? If you treat her like a loaded gun, eventually she's going to go off. I get the hesitation here; you're in a new relationship (or even one of your first relationships), and you're scared of messing it up. Those are totally normal feelings, but you gotta remember that your girlfriend isn't just an idea, she's a person, and she's capable enough of making up her own mind about things without you suggesting different ways she should feel! [editline]24th July 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=E3245;41581198]Then what are the signs that she likes me? Isn't glancing and smiling at a guy one of the signs?[/QUOTE] Or she was just looking in your direction and you happened to catch eyes, so she smiled to be polite. If every girl who smiled at me wanted to gargle my coinpurse, I'd have already reached enlightenment and ascended to a perfect zen state.
[QUOTE=E3245;41581198]Then what are the signs that she likes me? Isn't glancing and smiling at a guy one of the signs?[/QUOTE] it's in the way she talks to you there may not even be any signs, but if she comes and talks to you without and incentive from you, and not because she needs anything but because she just wanted to talk then there's a good chance that she likes you whether just as a friend or she wants the d who knows but it never hurts to find out people usually smile at people because it makes the other person feel good(i get the warmest feeling when a old lady smiles at me)
Ugh I feel so stressed lately, I seem to just be bouncing from depressed to anxious to agitated constantly for no reason. Doesn't help though that today my bf got prescribed some antidepressants to help with his anxiety attacks. I mean, I don't want to see him keep having to deal with anxiety attacks but I really don't like the idea of him taking antidepressants, especially when they take 2-3 weeks to even be effective and the first ever so long on them they can make anxiety and depression worse before making it better.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;41585384]Ugh I feel so stressed lately, I seem to just be bouncing from depressed to anxious to agitated constantly for no reason. Doesn't help though that today my bf got prescribed some antidepressants to help with his anxiety attacks. I mean, I don't want to see him keep having to deal with anxiety attacks but I really don't like the idea of him taking antidepressants, especially when they take 2-3 weeks to even be effective and the first ever so long on them they can make anxiety and depression worse before making it better.[/QUOTE] no-ones got shit on you canadian thunder stand tall (well, not that tall) and persevere the shit out of whats bothering you. u got nothing but time and times got nothin on you SQUAD and you know your bf is just going through the healing process and part of that is trying antidepressants. its a step towards getting treatment and the important part is that he's getting treatment, even if it means that there are gonna be a lot of bumpy roads on the way to recovery (sorry for the trite metaphor). stress will always happen its better to develop ways to cope with it as soon and as much as possible. people who deal with stress more often earlier on have better stressing coping mechanisms and this leads to reduced cortisol levels throughout life which is very good health-wise.
It was really stupid of me to smoke weed after what had happened, I was just really angry and upset at that point in time and I needed something to chill out because I don't really handle stuff like this well, I'm gonna stop out of respect for her.
fuck my self-esteem I was convinced that if I just went out to buy some clothes that I would feel comfortable in things would become better. Today told me that's not the case. I've just come home after a failed attempt to buy new clothes for myself. It went fine the first 10 minutes at the mall, but then I begun to feel that everyone looked at me. Looked at how ugly I was. I didn't find anything I liked either. I must have tried all kinds of clothes while I was there. That color, no doesn't fit me, that is too tight for me, too large for me etc... Then I wonder how everyone else manages to look so good in their selection of clothes? Towards the end I was starting to panic because I felt that everyone gave me weird looks. I just had to get out of there. It only took 30 minutes before I bailed out and hauled my ass home as quickly as possible. I don't think buying new clothes is a suitable start to increase my self-esteem. Why bother when I feel ugly in everything I try? Maybe I should put my focus somewhere else, like my body? I'm clueless.
[QUOTE=PredGD;41591732]fuck my self-esteem I was convinced that if I just went out to buy some clothes that I would feel comfortable in things would become better. Today told me that's not the case. I've just come home after a failed attempt to buy new clothes for myself. It went fine the first 10 minutes at the mall, but then I begun to feel that everyone looked at me. Looked at how ugly I was. I didn't find anything I liked either. I must have tried all kinds of clothes while I was there. That color, no doesn't fit me, that is too tight for me, too large for me etc... Then I wonder how everyone else manages to look so good in their selection of clothes? Towards the end I was starting to panic because I felt that everyone gave me weird looks. I just had to get out of there. It only took 30 minutes before I bailed out and hauled my ass home as quickly as possible. I don't think buying new clothes is a suitable start to increase my self-esteem. Why bother when I feel ugly in everything I try? Maybe I should put my focus somewhere else, like my body? I'm clueless.[/QUOTE] Buying clothes is usually a lot better when you're with someone else. Hell, I'd even take my mother with me. It's good to have someone else for support and a second opinion. Try taking someone with you, it could help with that.
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;41591792]Buying clothes is usually a lot better when you're with someone else. Hell, I'd even take my mother with me. It's good to have someone else for support and a second opinion. Try taking someone with you, it could help with that.[/QUOTE] I've tried with my mother earlier (not too long ago) and the same shit happened. Went fine the first 10 minutes but after that I start panicking and just want to leave. [editline]25th July 2013[/editline] Also, the temptation to hurt myself have been increasing this past week. Yesterday I was literally hitting myself and smashing my head into the wall out of frustration over myself. It sounds so incredibly stupid, but I really want to hurt myself in whatever way possible.
go talk to a doctor srsly
[QUOTE=NoDachi;41591878]go talk to a doctor srsly[/QUOTE] I've been talking with my psychologist about it, and she is considering to give me medicine for it. While I'm waiting for her to talk with the doctors there about it, I try to do something about it on my own, which sadly isn't really working out.
[QUOTE=PredGD;41591928]I've been talking with my psychologist about it, and she is considering to give me medicine for it. While I'm waiting for her to talk with the doctors there about it, I try to do something about it on my own, which sadly isn't really working out.[/QUOTE] I'm no shrink, but you have some pretty serious issues you gotta resolve! You ever thought about committing yourself? I mean, it sounds rude, but getting some time away in a relaxed environment with plenty of professionals to talk to could be a pretty solid plan for you. If you've gotten to the point where you're actively trying to hurt yourself, then you're pretty well past the stage where you can simply stick your chin out and take care of everything yourself! No shame in getting more involved help, dude. At least make sure you're being clear with your doctor about not feeling like the treatment route she's been giving you thus far has been working.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;41592148]I'm no shrink, but you have some pretty serious issues you gotta resolve! You ever thought about committing yourself? I mean, it sounds rude, but getting some time away in a relaxed environment with plenty of professionals to talk to could be a pretty solid plan for you. If you've gotten to the point where you're actively trying to hurt yourself, then you're pretty well past the stage where you can simply stick your chin out and take care of everything yourself! No shame in getting more involved help, dude. At least make sure you're being clear with your doctor about not feeling like the treatment route she's been giving you thus far has been working.[/QUOTE] Your reply is comforting. I just wish there was something I could do without going through medication and professional help. Only by going to the shrink lowers my self-esteem. I feel so different and weird because of it. :v: Suppose I should be more open to her, no matter how difficult and uncomfortable it is.
Gah I wrote up a reply and facepunch lost it with this dumb cloudfare stuff messing it up. I cant be bothered to write it up again before work, this is sorta a reminder to make myself reply to you later
[QUOTE=PredGD;41591732]fuck my self-esteem I was convinced that if I just went out to buy some clothes that I would feel comfortable in things would become better. Today told me that's not the case. I've just come home after a failed attempt to buy new clothes for myself. It went fine the first 10 minutes at the mall, but then I begun to feel that everyone looked at me. Looked at how ugly I was. I didn't find anything I liked either. I must have tried all kinds of clothes while I was there. That color, no doesn't fit me, that is too tight for me, too large for me etc... Then I wonder how everyone else manages to look so good in their selection of clothes? Towards the end I was starting to panic because I felt that everyone gave me weird looks. I just had to get out of there. It only took 30 minutes before I bailed out and hauled my ass home as quickly as possible. I don't think buying new clothes is a suitable start to increase my self-esteem. Why bother when I feel ugly in everything I try? Maybe I should put my focus somewhere else, like my body? I'm clueless.[/QUOTE] take ur most honest girl friends the more attitude the better cuz they'll be like "nuh uh biatch try this instead" it may not sound like it but hearing that from your friends can make you feel better
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;41592918]take ur most honest girl friends the more attitude the better cuz they'll be like "nuh uh biatch try this instead" it may not sound like it but hearing that from your friends can make you feel better[/QUOTE] I only have one of those and she is struggling with problems on her own. :v: The connection between us two is really awkward as well.
[QUOTE=PredGD;41592417]Your reply is comforting. I just wish there was something I could do without going through medication and professional help. Only by going to the shrink lowers my self-esteem. I feel so different and weird because of it. :v: Suppose I should be more open to her, no matter how difficult and uncomfortable it is.[/QUOTE] Alright im home, god my feet hurt. Anyway what I was going to say is that going to the shrink isnt rare at all, is extremely common and theres nothing wrong with it for sure. And a lot of depression and anxiety (haveing dealt with both myself in [I]mostly [/I]the past) is allowing yourself to think that way. Not feel but think, you sort of create a loop of i look terrible i feel terrible and it feeds it self you sort of have to learn to step in and argue with yourself say no i look fine i was fine comming in this is just my brain being dumb and depressive. It takes some work and at first feels fake and pointless but its something ive learned to do over the years that really helps you control yourself a bit. Just this norming i was getting depressed and its part of why im thinking about this because i just had to step back from myself for a minute to be like "stop being a dumbass brain you have nothing to complain about" and just push the thoughts away.
The female I was (slightly) attempting to pursue is now out of the question. Long story short, after she didn't respond to me asking if Thursday(today) would work, i waited till Wednesday (yesterday), asked her if she got my message, and she still just straight up ignored me. Said to myself "oh maybe her phone broke or something", but then saw her online on the FB a few hours ago. So that's just done. I deleted her number and moving forward! If someone does not want to hang out, Why be rude instead of just being honest? /endvent
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.