Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Dysentery;41622430]i mean it's not like it sucks or anything, a lot of people (me including) are like that. i have no problem talking to people but i really don't want to have a ton of friends. i just want a few friends that i'm super close with. being an introvert isn't a bad thing[/QUOTE]

it annoys me how people are always trying to "fix" introverts. like if you aren't social and would rather stay in than to go a party it means there's something wrong with you.
being socially inept is different than being introverted. social ineptness means you're incapable of socializing even when it's important, being an introvert just means you prefer not to.

[Dysentery]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;41622498]it annoys me how people are always trying to "fix" introverts. like if you aren't social and would rather stay in than to go a party it means there's something wrong with you.
being socially inept is different than being introverted. social ineptness means you're incapable of socializing even when it's important, being an introvert just means you prefer not to.[/QUOTE]

oh god i know, most people understand when i tell them i don't like having that many friends but there's always that one person who thinks i'm terrified of social interaction and i'm shy of my own shadow or something

[.Lain]

[QUOTE=thisispain;41622436]im so bad at keeping friends so itll be like two months i wont see them and theyll be super excited to see me again and ill be like "omg were best friends forever" nad then i dont see them again for two months

same way on steam i love the people who talk to me on steam but unless they message me ill totally forget about them and thats bad[/QUOTE]
Even worse is when you actually forget who they are until you ask..but that's probably me just being very bad with names and dates :z

[editline]28th July 2013[/editline]

Names are actually a surprisingly massive problem for me. I struggle to remember some of my closest relatives names even though I talk to them somewhat regularly. Sucks when someone comes over to the house and I can only remember their surname...guess my long term memory is just crap in general.

[PuduEbooks]

[QUOTE=thisispain;41622269]tho if you are 16 now would be a good time to learn how to start a conversation and learn to engage with people[/QUOTE]

i know how to start a conversation, but now that i think a little i should start a normal conversation and direct it to going out.
Anyway, the closest cinema is at 45 km away

[Riku2211]

Uhg okay something just sort of clicked in my head

I thought that when a job app asked me if I was legally allowed to work in US that it meant I was basically a citizen or whatever. Then another app asked me if I had a work permit, and I kind of realized that I've been applying to work under 18 without a work permit

no one ever told me a needed a fucking work permit

Guess I'll just get one as soon as possible. Should I stop applying for jobs until I have one or what? Probably. I don't think I even knew that was a thing until now. Seriously why didn't anyone tell me about this? My mom, sister, nor dad, nor any friends, have ever mentioned this. How do I even get one anyway? I googled a bit and I guess I need to go to my school office?

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=riku2211;41629500]Uhg okay something just sort of clicked in my head

I thought that when a job app asked me if I was legally allowed to work in US that it meant I was basically a citizen or whatever. Then another app asked me if I had a work permit, and I kind of realized that I've been applying to work under 18 without a work permit

no one ever told me a needed a fucking work permit

Guess I'll just get one as soon as possible. Should I stop applying for jobs until I have one or what? Probably. I don't think I even knew that was a thing until now. Seriously why didn't anyone tell me about this? My mom, sister, nor dad, nor any friends, have ever mentioned this. How do I even get one anyway? I googled a bit and I guess I need to go to my school office?[/QUOTE]

Huh, I thought you only needed that to work under 16 or whatever. If nothing else the school should be able to give you some solid info on it

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;41629939]Huh, I thought you only needed that to work under 16 or whatever. If nothing else the school should be able to give you some solid info on it[/QUOTE]

Oh really? Well, I have no idea. I suppose I'll ask my school and see if I need it or not.

[ZattiW]

k this is gonna sound real silly but

what is true love like? I love my parents, friends and all, but I'm talking strictly about romantic love. I mean, I felt infatuated before, and it was great (altho frustrating cause I never got to the relationship part :v:), but the thought that this crazy passion wears off in like the first 4 or 5 months of being together kinda scares me. The *REAL* love is really better? The things that both people build together in a relationship really surpasses that feeling of madness about each other in the beginning?

I think I know the answer to these questions, but still, I can't bring myself to think like that

I probably need to experience a long-term relationship to understand it

[Fire Kracker]

love feels warms and caressing while the crazy passion is like burning and alluring

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=ZattiW;41630263]k this is gonna sound real silly but

what is true love like? I love my parents, friends and all, but I'm talking strictly about romantic love. I mean, I felt infatuated before, and it was great (altho frustrating cause I never got to the relationship part :v:), but the thought that this crazy passion wears off in like the first 4 or 5 months of being together kinda scares me. The *REAL* love is really better? The things that both people build together in a relationship really surpasses that feeling of madness about each other in the beginning?

I think I know the answer to these questions, but still, I can't bring myself to think like that

I probably need to experience a long-term relationship to understand it[/QUOTE]

Everyone describes stuff like that differently, just wait till you have it you wont really get it until then really.

[Guy Mannly]

not really related to real relationships but i think running a raid core in wow has given me a huge amount of experience in breaking up with people

[editline]29th July 2013[/editline]

also "breaking up" with 3 people over the course of 3 hours regardless of how nice they are and then having to deal with the backlash and shit talk is tiring

[AltUser]

So as you may know, me and this girl broke up, and to keep it short and sweet we're basically together but don't want to make it official until I sort out my shit.
She went away two weeks ago, and I just come back from a holiday abroad, and find out she's staying there for another week or so, while all my friends get to see their partners straight away, and its really depressing.
Of course I'm feeling crap because I'm not on holiday, but its going to be another week at least until I see her, I haven't seen her in like a month and now I'm getting lonely and feeling depressed, especially because I have nothing to do and no job since I got turned down for my last interview. Am I being normal or what? And to be honest I just need a bit of help with all this.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

I also panic over small things, like when she says she doesn't want to send kisses as often as we do, and then I panic because I think I'll lose her, because honestly, she's my support right now, and I'm afraid to lose her... So I end up panicking over small things and creating arguments which will eventually drive her further away. I just feel like I'm a big fuck up.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Like right now I'm freaking out because we haven't been together for a month and a half, and its so crazy.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Can anyone really think what to do based on that? I'm sure there's something wrong just by the way I react to things.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=AltUser;41654287]So as you may know, me and this girl broke up, and to keep it short and sweet we're basically together but don't want to make it official until I sort out my shit.
She went away two weeks ago, and I just come back from a holiday abroad, and find out she's staying there for another week or so, while all my friends get to see their partners straight away, and its really depressing.
Of course I'm feeling crap because I'm not on holiday, but its going to be another week at least until I see her, I haven't seen her in like a month and now I'm getting lonely and feeling depressed, especially because I have nothing to do and no job since I got turned down for my last interview. Am I being normal or what? And to be honest I just need a bit of help with all this.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

I also panic over small things, like when she says she doesn't want to send kisses as often as we do, and then I panic because I think I'll lose her, because honestly, she's my support right now, and I'm afraid to lose her... So I end up panicking over small things and creating arguments which will eventually drive her further away. I just feel like I'm a big fuck up.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Like right now I'm freaking out because we haven't been together for a month and a half, and its so crazy.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Can anyone really think what to do based on that? I'm sure there's something wrong just by the way I react to things.[/QUOTE]

Its normal to be bummed out when you dont get to see your gf for a long time. Just chill out and try to find stuff to do, get out of your house and do something (apply for more jobs maybe, go accomplish something it will keep you busy and your mood higher) nothing much else you can do, dwelling on it wont bring her home sooner

edit:
Dummed bummed Gah why do i flip letters so much :v:

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=AltUser;41654287]So as you may know, me and this girl broke up, and to keep it short and sweet we're basically together but don't want to make it official until I sort out my shit.
She went away two weeks ago, and I just come back from a holiday abroad, and find out she's staying there for another week or so, while all my friends get to see their partners straight away, and its really depressing.
Of course I'm feeling crap because I'm not on holiday, but its going to be another week at least until I see her, I haven't seen her in like a month and now I'm getting lonely and feeling depressed, especially because I have nothing to do and no job since I got turned down for my last interview. Am I being normal or what? And to be honest I just need a bit of help with all this.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

I also panic over small things, like when she says she doesn't want to send kisses as often as we do, and then I panic because I think I'll lose her, because honestly, she's my support right now, and I'm afraid to lose her... So I end up panicking over small things and creating arguments which will eventually drive her further away. I just feel like I'm a big fuck up.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Like right now I'm freaking out because we haven't been together for a month and a half, and its so crazy.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Can anyone really think what to do based on that? I'm sure there's something wrong just by the way I react to things.[/QUOTE]

Don't overwhelm her, first of all. Don't overreact about not seeing her for along time, either, just chill out and be excited to finally see her again in a week. I think you need to be sure and take a step back whenever you start one of these arguments over small things and realize you're panicking, and just rethink yourself accordingly. I used to react to some things way more than I needed to with my ex and that really builds up. I think depression makes this worse, because it somewhat did for me, but I implore you to step back and really think about how you actually feel about things. I wish I would have done this when I was with my ex, because I said some stupid things and acted in stupid ways because I was depressed and didn't realize how dumb I was actually being and it sort of screwed things up in the end.

[AltUser]

Thanks guys, Riku, I'm pretty much the same as you right now. I was depressed but I got better, and now I'm not really sure where I am. I can't really be sure what's going on, because I might just be having low moods because of stuff like I'm not getting to see her, and I miss being abroad in Malia. But the overreacting thing is definitely a problem for me. I'm also insecure that one day she might want nothing to do with me, but when I'm calm I realise that if I'm just less stressed and more clam, then she will want to be with me.
I just don't really know where to go from here, I know I'll be bored for a week, but I'll apply for jobs, etc. It's just more about learning how to not freak out over small things like I do right now.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

It's like I worry too much when it comes to her... If one of my mates told me to fuck off I'd say it back to them, but if she said it then I'd be sad for quite a while and I would let it dictate what I'm thinking, which is reallly bad.

[Juice_Layer]

Hey guys. Input on a situation please? I'll give you a moderate breakdown in a chronological bulleted order.

-Liked this girl on / off for quite a while (had girlfriend somewhere in between)
-First met her in Philosophy class at university (though she was a grade ahead at same high school)
-Started sitting next to her and moderate chatting (this was a year ago)
-Asked her to hang out once and had some reason she couldn't (again, a year ago)
-Had class with her again last semester (was dating someone at this time)
-She'd wait for me outside of class (weren't able to sit together in that class) and we'd walk to next classes until we had to split ways
-She started liking photos of myself that were on instagram (recent)
-On a whim, I asked to her to come over to a friend's house for a little gathering for a friend's birthday but she couldn't go because it was her sister's last day in town (two weeks or less ago)
-I sent her a Snapchat and we goofed around for like two hours back and forth on Snapchat. Made her laugh some I believe, just joked around and minor conversation.
-Sent her three snapchats since then, two were to a bunch of friends, but she still opened them, but never responded.

Anyways, I thought things were going kind of well. If anything I just wanna hang out with this girl as a friends because she's mad cool as far as personality and interests go, plus she's drop dead gorgeous to me at least. I just don't want to be the creep who just keeps snapchatting her, I'd say three is definitely the limit. I know this sounds super dumb, but I feel like people judge the hell out of one another because of stuff like that nowadays. I'd like to text her, but I probably wouldn't out of the blue unless there was an occasion I'd like to invite her to since we don't text really ever. I'd just like to hang out with her and not give her some creepy / desperate vibe. I'd really like to hang out with her sometime but not in some creepy or obsessive way. It's not like I bother her all the time, I just did it on a whim and it turned out to be fun.

Anyways, I guess I just don't know what my next move should be. I don't start back at school until basically the end of August / early September and even then I'm not sure if I'll run into her since I've changed majors and our classes will differ. I'd like to text for a hangout, would that be a no-go?

Sorry for being so long, I was just wanting to be descriptive. Thanks yall.

[greendevil]

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;41655668]Hey guys. Input on a situation please? I'll give you a moderate breakdown in a chronological bulleted order.

-Liked this girl on / off for quite a while (had girlfriend somewhere in between)
-First met her in Philosophy class at university (though she was a grade ahead at same high school)
-Started sitting next to her and moderate chatting (this was a year ago)
-Asked her to hang out once and had some reason she couldn't (again, a year ago)
-Had class with her again last semester (was dating someone at this time)
-She'd wait for me outside of class (weren't able to sit together in that class) and we'd walk to next classes until we had to split ways
-She started liking photos of myself that were on instagram (recent)
-On a whim, I asked to her to come over to a friend's house for a little gathering for a friend's birthday but she couldn't go because it was her sister's last day in town (two weeks or less ago)
-I sent her a Snapchat and we goofed around for like two hours back and forth on Snapchat. Made her laugh some I believe, just joked around and minor conversation.
-Sent her three snapchats since then, two were to a bunch of friends, but she still opened them, but never responded.

Anyways, I thought things were going kind of well. If anything I just wanna hang out with this girl as a friends because she's mad cool as far as personality and interests go, plus she's drop dead gorgeous to me at least. I just don't want to be the creep who just keeps snapchatting her, I'd say three is definitely the limit. I know this sounds super dumb, but I feel like people judge the hell out of one another because of stuff like that nowadays. I'd like to text her, but I probably wouldn't out of the blue unless there was an occasion I'd like to invite her to since we don't text really ever. I'd just like to hang out with her and not give her some creepy / desperate vibe. I'd really like to hang out with her sometime but not in some creepy or obsessive way. It's not like I bother her all the time, I just did it on a whim and it turned out to be fun.

Anyways, I guess I just don't know what my next move should be. I don't start back at school until basically the end of August / early September and even then I'm not sure if I'll run into her since I've changed majors and our classes will differ. I'd like to text for a hangout, would that be a no-go?

Sorry for being so long, I was just wanting to be descriptive. Thanks yall.[/QUOTE]

do it

[zenby]

I haven't talked to one of my friends that much in the past two weeks and it's been bothering me. At first I thought I was just overthinking it, but I just checked and we were talking regularly and then all of a sudden about two weeks ago we just largely stopped having conversations.

I think I should probably just ask them what's up

Edit: Asked them, and now the most likely long wait until the see the message

[Juice_Layer]

[QUOTE=greendevil;41655784]do it[/QUOTE]

So I should JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT ?

[Flapadar]

[QUOTE=AltUser;41654287]So as you may know, me and this girl broke up, and to keep it short and sweet we're basically together but don't want to make it official until I sort out my shit.
She went away two weeks ago, and I just come back from a holiday abroad, and find out she's staying there for another week or so, while all my friends get to see their partners straight away, and its really depressing.
Of course I'm feeling crap because I'm not on holiday, but its going to be another week at least until I see her, I haven't seen her in like a month and now I'm getting lonely and feeling depressed, especially because I have nothing to do and no job since I got turned down for my last interview. Am I being normal or what? And to be honest I just need a bit of help with all this.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

I also panic over small things, like when she says she doesn't want to send kisses as often as we do, and then I panic because I think I'll lose her, because honestly, she's my support right now, and I'm afraid to lose her... So I end up panicking over small things and creating arguments which will eventually drive her further away. I just feel like I'm a big fuck up.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Like right now I'm freaking out because we haven't been together for a month and a half, and its so crazy.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

Can anyone really think what to do based on that? I'm sure there's something wrong just by the way I react to things.[/QUOTE]

Calm your beans. Panicking will only push her away.

[greendevil]

Why is this thread always on page 2 or 3 despite people regularly posting in it? There's threads above it that are from like 2 weeks ago

[FalcoLombardi]

[QUOTE=greendevil;41657617]Why is this thread always on page 2 or 3 despite people regularly posting in it? There's threads above it that are from like 2 weeks ago[/QUOTE]

I noticed it too. Sort the threads by "last post". I think it's a glitch.

[disseminate]

Garry changed GD to sort threads by creation date, not the last post date.

[AltUser]

[QUOTE=Flapadar;41656977]Calm your beans. Panicking will only push her away.[/QUOTE]

I know it will, but I physically can't help it. Like today I woke up and messaged her two hours ago, but she hasn't replied because she's on holiday. And right now I'm just not relaxed or anything, I'm worrying about what I'm going to do until she comes back and stuff and I'm just feeling really down, but its mostly just that I'm anxious or something, I can't relax. I think some of it is to due with I have like a post-holiday depression (its a thing) and that I was drinking every night, and of course, alcohol is a depressant so it calmed me down, and now I'm just anxious possibly because I'm sober for the first time in a while.

[editline]31st July 2013[/editline]

I've looked it up, I've got a lot of alcohol withdrawal symptoms, for fucks sake.

[Flapadar]

[QUOTE=AltUser;41659095]I've looked it up, I've got a lot of alcohol withdrawal symptoms, for fucks sake.[/QUOTE]

That's easy to solve then. Have a singular drink with your dinner, every dinner.

[Metherat]

[QUOTE=ZattiW;41630263]k this is gonna sound real silly but

what is true love like? I love my parents, friends and all, but I'm talking strictly about romantic love. I mean, I felt infatuated before, and it was great (altho frustrating cause I never got to the relationship part :v:), but the thought that this crazy passion wears off in like the first 4 or 5 months of being together kinda scares me. The *REAL* love is really better? The things that both people build together in a relationship really surpasses that feeling of madness about each other in the beginning?

I think I know the answer to these questions, but still, I can't bring myself to think like that

I probably need to experience a long-term relationship to understand it[/QUOTE]

I remember someone saying "When you really love someone, it feels like you want to hug them and throttle them to death at the same time."

[vlad]

Oh god, this girl I got to know around a month ago who struggles with the same things as me just threw me a message "Hi! If you ever want to talk, I'm here :) we both struggle with the same things as you already figured, so I understand you ;)" and I have no idea how to respond.

[editline]1st August 2013[/editline]

i'm filled with anxiety, i'm having a panic attack help

[editline]1st August 2013[/editline]

this really is the worst attack I've had in a good while. I'm breathing heavily, feel incredibly anxious, feeling dizzy, trembling etc etc, I feel so shit right now

[zenby]

Tell her that you just had an anxiety attack and try to breathe through it

[vlad]

it feels so weird telling her that I just had an attack but I know she knows I'm prone to having them. we managed to complete the little conversation though, after some incredibly scary minutes.

[Loopoo]

Would that post not be more suitable for the Depression thread, seeing as those people understand what you're going through? Any advice we give you is redundant seeing as you're prone to panic attacks.

I'm reading that and thinking "Wow" because I just can't imagine that ever happening, so any advice I gave to you wouldn't be tailored to your needs.