Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=GentlemanLexi;41676999]My mom is having trouble at work, and I'm possibly going to have to leave my IB Diploma course before I even start it. If this is the right thread, tell me and I'll add more.[/QUOTE]
Its certainly not the wrong thread, its a place to vent your problems whatever they may be and users can provide advice if they have any :)
[QUOTE=GentlemanLexi;41676999]My mom is having trouble at work, and I'm possibly going to have to leave my IB Diploma course before I even start it. If this is the right thread, tell me and I'll add more.[/QUOTE]
Go part time if you can.
[QUOTE=NoDachi;41672904]Why would you lose your sexual confidence and self esteem because some religious nuts didn't like that you kissed their daughter.[/QUOTE]
There was more to it than that.
I can vouch for the dangers of overbearingly religious parentals if for any reason it needs to be stated again. Her mother was a terrible person for all the pious stuff she pulled. I understand being afraid that your child will burn for eternity, and trying to stop it, and really I tried to empathize more, but walking into the house and having her mother telling her sister who was twenty something about how she's disgusting and abusing her body by giving it to men was really not cool. She had a longstanding boyfriend and they were making a long distance thing work half the time. It wasn't fair to them. She was worse on Bella, since she had to live with her mom still where her sister lived away and could leave.
Eugh. Is anyone else more disgusted with the soft-voiced hypocrites than with the loud obnoxious ones? She drove me crazy.
[editline]2nd August 2013[/editline]
I liked her stepdad though. He was a great cook.
They read through her messages and shamed me for what I did, even phoned my mum up and told my mum which made my mum annoyed at them. They just done a lot of shit but it's over for good now I just need to move on.
She was my first relationship, do you have any advice that would help me move on or make me get over this whole thing, I don't want to live the rest of my life with this much anguish towards her parents, her beliefs which I despise and her itself.
Why would you be shamed by what you did? Were you ashamed of what you were doing and saying at the time? You shouldn't really take to heart the opinions of idiots.
As for getting over it, you're just going to have to let things run their course.
[QUOTE=NoDachi;41684295]Why would you be shamed by what you did? Were you ashamed of what you were doing and saying at the time? You shouldn't really take to heart the opinions of idiots.
As for getting over it, you're just going to have to let things run their course.[/QUOTE]
I guess I was ashamed of what I did but now I realize that there was nothing to be ashamed about, and I take things to heart to easy I guess, it's just something I need to work on. They did treat me pretty badly and they were extremely paranoid we were up to good, they forced us to only go out on group dates, her older brother slapped me with a phone when I hugged her when we picked him up from work.
i can never get my shit together
already ridiculed myself to death here a while ago
can never get conversations going with the girl
can't get myself to do anything
get depressed because of all this
i just don't know what to do, and i can't even take advice :suicide:
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;41684403]I guess I was ashamed of what I did but now I realize that there was nothing to be ashamed about, and I take things to heart to easy I guess, it's just something I need to work on. They did treat me pretty badly and they were extremely paranoid we were up to good, they forced us to only go out on group dates, her older brother slapped me with a phone when I hugged her when we picked him up from work.[/QUOTE]
they do sound honestly terrible
What you were doing was completely normal
religious repression can really warp shit and mess with people its actually really sad
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;41684403]I guess I was ashamed of what I did but now I realize that there was nothing to be ashamed about, and I take things to heart to easy I guess, it's just something I need to work on. They did treat me pretty badly and they were extremely paranoid we were up to good, they forced us to only go out on group dates, her older brother slapped me with a phone when I hugged her when we picked him up from work.[/QUOTE]
Ye, that's some pretty classic repression for ya! Tough break there, bud. That's an awkward situation to be in, because you really only have two options: deal with it, or leave. You're not going to be able to convince your girlfriend's family to go against their beliefs, because religious fundamentalists are some of the most conservative, stubborn folks you'll ever meet, and you're not likely to be able to turn your girlfriend against her family (nor should that even be something you should want to do). Despite their shortcomings, she's still a product of that environment, and if it comes down to choosing between her boyfriend or her family, she'll stick with blood.
I'd start pulling myself out of there if I were you, but I've got a pretty strong aversion to unnecessarily dramatic situations. I'll tell you this right now: this isn't the last time you've butted heads with that family, should you decide to stick around.
[QUOTE=Giraffen93;41685220]i can never get my shit together
already ridiculed myself to death here a while ago
can never get conversations going with the girl
can't get myself to do anything
get depressed because of all this
i just don't know what to do, and i can't even take advice :suicide:[/QUOTE]
Well, you won't get anywhere with that attitude.
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;41687021]Well, you won't get anywhere with that attitude.[/QUOTE]
i know, and i can't do a fucking thing about it either
catch 22
[QUOTE=Giraffen93;41687479]i know, and i can't do a fucking thing about it either
catch 22[/QUOTE]
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-fulfilling_prophecy[/url]
[QUOTE=Disseminate;41687991][url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-fulfilling_prophecy[/url][/QUOTE]
I can't even understand that, too much text.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;41688072]if you think you're a bitch and act like you're a bitch even if you're not a bitch you'll eventually become a bitch[/QUOTE]
well no wonder
i'm too shy to do anything so i guess that's how it is
[QUOTE=Giraffen93;41688084]well no wonder
i'm too shy to do anything so i guess that's how it is[/QUOTE]
if youre too scared and lazy to fix simple stuff like talking to girls then you really have no place to complain
[QUOTE=pfoot;41688506]if youre too scared and lazy to fix simple stuff like talking to girls then you really have no place to complain[/QUOTE]
i suppose
but not getting this to work is what's getting me depressed
when we went out from that cinema i was legitimately happy for the first time in years
Hey guys, so I'm not really sure what this post is for, maybe to vent, maybe just asking for guidance.
Basically, I'm seeing a girl. After our first date she text me and said she wanted to take things slowly due to the fact that she recently came out of a relationship where she was fucked around a lot, and she was still trying to find her feet. I took this as her meaning she was happy how we were on the first date (we held hands and kissed goodbye) so acted the same when we met again a couple of days later. That was last Tuesday (as in not the one that just went by, the one before) and we haven't seen eachother since (despire me trying to arrange stuff). This Wednesday she revealed to me that she was diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder 6 years ago and she got through it but her ex kinda made it all come back. She's recovering but needs to take things really slowly for the time being. I'm absolutely happy to take things as slow as she needs. I guess our second date where we acted a bit couple-t was too much for her.
So we're still texting all the time throughout every day (although we both often take a while to respond) and flirting through that and stuff, but she goes away for a week on Wednesday and we've agreed to meet when she gets back. By then it'll be 4 weeks since we last saw eachother. And even when we do meet, I won't be making proper physical contact (other than like playful nudges etc.). Now, I can wait until she gets back to see her, and I have no problem taking things slow BUT I'm worried that since we're basically not doing anything that friends wouldn't do, she might decide she doesn't want to lose me as just a friend? Is there anything I can do to stop that from happening, or should I just go along with it and hope for the best?
(Although if things don't work out between us, I absolutely want to stay friends with her; I would find it really hard because I'm infatuated pretty hard with her right now)
Just putting this out there, not to anyone in particular.
Self pity is a dangerous, dangerous thing.
So I created a profile on a dating website that a lot of people I know personally have had success with (it's plenty of fish believe it or not, though we're in Australia). Despite being very specific, so far I've had a few people show interest who are entirely not what I'm after. The first is a completely crazy Aboriginal woman from the far north, the second is a rather huge woman from Toowoomba who only sent the word 'Wow' as her first contact, and the third is a woman local who is old enough to be my mother.
Is this normal, like, you get some strange things first up then the people more in your criteria start showing up, or have I done something horribly wrong haha
Cheers guys, it means a lot c:
What does it mean when a girl constantly makes eye contact with you? This has happened to me on numerous occasions with random strangers and it really bothers me. I can't help but feel crazy every time this happens.
Sometimes it's just too noticeable. Last night for like four hours this chick just kept shooting me glances. A couple of times she would be looking the other way, and she would just turn around and stare directly at me and smirk and return to talking to her friend. Maybe I'm just crazy, but I can't ignore it.
[QUOTE=Boba_Fett;41697506]What does it mean when a girl constantly makes eye contact with you? This has happened to me on numerous occasions with random strangers and it really bothers me. I can't help but feel crazy every time this happens.
Sometimes it's just too noticeable. Last night for like four hours this chick just kept shooting me glances. A couple of times she would be looking the other way, and she would just turn around and stare directly at me and smirk and return to talking to her friend. Maybe I'm just crazy, but I can't ignore it.[/QUOTE]
Be careful with things like that. The best thing you can do is ignore them or just get it over with by asking the chick out. Trying to discern what's going on by looks alone is a bad idea.
The brain sees what it wants you to see. It's the entire reason why thinking someone is interested just because, "They're always looking at you," is extremely foolish. When you want something, you see it "everywhere," and, "all the time." Think of it this way, if you really wanted an El Camino (a older type of car, half car half truck), you'd see them all over the place. It'd feel like every time you went somewhere, you see an El Camino. But in reality, you aren't seeing them any more often than you always did. You aren't even seeing them every time you go out, it's just your brain interpreting a few sightings as, "EVERY TIME."
That girl you're catching staring at you in class, "All the time," isn't actually doing it all the time. She isn't always shooting smiles at you. The hot girl at the bar isn't constantly shooting you glances, her eyes just glazed over you a few times and your brain interpreted it as, "OH MY GOD IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING ALL NIGHT." You also have to consider things go both ways. You were probably looking at that girl all night (you would have to be in order to catch her so often) so what if she was just looking over to see if that weird dude was still staring at her?
At the end of the day, there's so many possible reasons for you seeing what you saw, it's silly to come to any conclusions. It might not have even been happening at all.
It's been like 2 weeks now since I told my ex I didn't want to see her at all anymore. She caved and texted me which makes me feel good for some reason!!
Really glad my dad and brother didn't accept her with open arms like my mom and step-dad did. They made her work for their respect and she never got it. those dudes own and rather than hang out with my ex tonight, i'm going to hang with those cool cats.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;41698548]Be careful with things like that. The best thing you can do is ignore them or just get it over with by asking the chick out. Trying to discern what's going on by looks alone is a bad idea.
The brain sees what it wants you to see. It's the entire reason why thinking someone is interested just because, "They're always looking at you," is extremely foolish. When you want something, you see it "everywhere," and, "all the time." Think of it this way, if you really wanted an El Camino (a older type of car, half car half truck), you'd see them all over the place. It'd feel like every time you went somewhere, you see an El Camino. But in reality, you aren't seeing them any more often than you always did. You aren't even seeing them every time you go out, it's just your brain interpreting a few sightings as, "EVERY TIME."
That girl you're catching staring at you in class, "All the time," isn't actually doing it all the time. She isn't always shooting smiles at you. The hot girl at the bar isn't constantly shooting you glances, her eyes just glazed over you a few times and your brain interpreted it as, "OH MY GOD IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING ALL NIGHT." You also have to consider things go both ways. You were probably looking at that girl all night (you would have to be in order to catch her so often) so what if she was just looking over to see if that weird dude was still staring at her?
At the end of the day, there's so many possible reasons for you seeing what you saw, it's silly to come to any conclusions. It might not have even been happening at all.[/QUOTE]
What if theres a El Camino festival in town?
Than she must be down to bang right!?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;41698548]Be careful with things like that. The best thing you can do is ignore them or just get it over with by asking the chick out. Trying to discern what's going on by looks alone is a bad idea.
The brain sees what it wants you to see. It's the entire reason why thinking someone is interested just because, "They're always looking at you," is extremely foolish. When you want something, you see it "everywhere," and, "all the time." Think of it this way, if you really wanted an El Camino (a older type of car, half car half truck), you'd see them all over the place. It'd feel like every time you went somewhere, you see an El Camino. But in reality, you aren't seeing them any more often than you always did. You aren't even seeing them every time you go out, it's just your brain interpreting a few sightings as, "EVERY TIME."
That girl you're catching staring at you in class, "All the time," isn't actually doing it all the time. She isn't always shooting smiles at you. The hot girl at the bar isn't constantly shooting you glances, her eyes just glazed over you a few times and your brain interpreted it as, "OH MY GOD IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING ALL NIGHT." You also have to consider things go both ways. You were probably looking at that girl all night (you would have to be in order to catch her so often) so what if she was just looking over to see if that weird dude was still staring at her?
At the end of the day, there's so many possible reasons for you seeing what you saw, it's silly to come to any conclusions. It might not have even been happening at all.[/QUOTE]
In all seriousness, when I say "numerous occasions" I mean like once every 1-2 months.
[QUOTE=Boba_Fett;41705078]In all seriousness, when I say "numerous occasions" I mean like once every 1-2 months.[/QUOTE]
Just ask her man, if she's all shy about it chances are she wants to get to know you. If she shrugs it off ignore her, girls tend to like that shit if you act like you don't care and they know anyway. Display confidence and shit.
You made out and slept with this girl and you're wondering if her stroking your arm means she's into you?
Well umm yeah chances are she's probably into you
Nah don't be fooled, these guys in the thread don't know anything. She's not into you at all, she's actually preening you like a black widow preens her mate. Come tomorrow morning, she'll start devouring you. She's just trying to lull you into a false sense of security.
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