• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Agoat;41793836][URL]http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Good-Impression-at-a-First-Job-Interview[/URL] Be comfortable, first of all. You're considering ditching the job, so just go in there and see what it's about. At the very least, go and get your first interview over with. If you don't want to work there, then decline the job when they call you with the offer. They're not scary, and make a great excuse to be dressed up for the day. Quick note, they don't care about you. They care about how you'd perform in the workplace. When they ask about greatest strengths, I like to say that I see everything from all sides. When it comes to weakness, I like to say that I take ownership of things I'm a part of, especially when things go wrong. Of course, tailor everything to your personality. If you chill out, you'll be alright. [B]Oh, if your ex works there, don't take it. But go interview.[/B][/QUOTE] About this, I feel like I need to question it. I don't have a volatile relationship with my ex, and we ARE friends. I already have school with her, no classes with her but I see her most every day. Seeing her at work would just feel somewhat pressuring because I almost feel like I need to live up to some standard, which I am working on getting over. I don't think I should refuse the only job offer I've gotten just because she works there as well. I want a job, and I'm not getting one anywhere else. On the other hand, I know you're right and I know it'll cause some sort of problem for me. I just can't afford to turn down the job. Mind expanding on what you mean by "They care about how you'd perform in the workplace"? Listing off strengths and weak points is, well, a weak point for me. I feel like my mind just clogs up when I start trying to think of anything. One strength I can think of is that I pay attention to detail. A weakness would be that I... get distracted somewhat easily? Except I really don't in a workplace environment. See that took me a long time to think of. I'm having a lot of trouble with this.
[QUOTE=AltUser;41793962]This feels like the worst nightmare ever.[/QUOTE] How old are you? Because I can tell you've got plenty of time to find someone new, you clearly still have issues if you think this is the end of the line, and even pushing her and getting rough illustrates that. Stop putting so much importance on this girl, things clearly aren't going to work out so you really just need to move on and deal with your own shortcomings, so when you do find someone new, you don't make the same mistakes. [QUOTE=riku2211;41794047] Mind expanding on what you mean by "They care about how you'd perform in the workplace"? Listing off strengths and weak points is, well, a weak point for me. I feel like my mind just clogs up when I start trying to think of anything. One strength I can think of is that I pay attention to detail. A weakness would be that I... get distracted somewhat easily? Except I really don't in a workplace environment. See that took me a long time to think of. I'm having a lot of trouble with this.[/QUOTE] They'll ask generic questions related to the job, how well you handle multi-tasking, what's the most stressful situation you've been in and how you dealt with it, etc. They're really just sitting there filling in a box for each question. You should just focus on not being nervous and have an air of confidence. I still shake when I go into an interview but I keep a smooth flow and answer promptly with what I think is the best answer, it's all you can really do. Go to the interview no matter what, it'll be valuable experience. Besides that it's a fast food place so don't shit your pants, just think of all the retards you know who've passed the interview, you're better than them! you can do it!! (lie to yourself, it helps)
[QUOTE=Parakon;41794052]How old are you? Because I can tell you've got plenty of time to find someone new, you clearly still have issues if you think this is the end of the line, and even pushing her and getting rough illustrates that. Stop putting so much importance on this girl, things clearly aren't going to work out so you really just need to move on and deal with your own shortcomings, so when you do find someone new, you don't make the same mistakes.[/QUOTE] I'm 18. I can't explain it, although we don't work sometimes, there's still something that just keeps me with her. I feel absolutely horrible for hurting her and she says she doesn't want to talk, but I really want to make things better with her.
The last thing you need to do now is become obsessive over fixing it, if you constantly try to get a hold of her she's just going to think you're a creep. Focus on yourself broseph. When and if she's ever ready, you'll have a chance to repair it, just never, ever, try to force it. And better yet let her know that you feel awful, don't go on a big spiel, just say you're regretful and you need some introspective time or some jazz. People are more accepting to rational thought than obsessive fields of texts or rants.
[QUOTE=Parakon;41794101]The last thing you need to do now is become obsessive over fixing it, if you constantly try to get a hold of her she's just going to think you're a creep. Focus on yourself broseph. When and if she's ever ready, you'll have a chance to repair it, just never, ever, try to force it. And better yet let her know that you feel awful, don't go on a big spiel, just say you're regretful and you need some introspective time or some jazz. People are more accepting to rational thought than obsessive fields of texts or rants.[/QUOTE] Thank you, I'll try and go by what you said.
[QUOTE=Parakon;41794052]They'll ask generic questions related to the job, how well you handle multi-tasking, [B]what's the most stressful situation you've been in and how you dealt with it[/B], etc. They're really just sitting there filling in a box for each question. You should just focus on not being nervous and have an air of confidence. I still shake when I go into an interview but I keep a smooth flow and answer promptly with what I think is the best answer, it's all you can really do. Go to the interview no matter what, it'll be valuable experience. Besides that it's a fast food place so don't shit your pants, just think of all the retards you know who've passed the interview, you're better than them! you can do it!! (lie to yourself, it helps)[/QUOTE] Okay that's even worse. I've had that question on tests and thing before and I have entirely NO idea how to answer anything like that. I don't have any sort of overly stressful experiences. Wait, shit, maybe I do. So that would be the first time I could answer that specific question. If it's something else like that, then I'm probably fucked. I don't know. There's a weakness, I overthink things. Would that be relevant to say?
Right now I dont really go and hang out with friends much. I want to, but I also dont want to be that guy who pesters his friends and asks them if they want to come over all the time. I know people but they dont really talk to me unless I talk to them, and none of us see eachother on a regular basis because its currently summer and so no one is going to school. Even if I were to go ahead and ask around, there aint shit to do at my house and I have no idea what else would be a good idea to do.
[QUOTE=riku2211;41794143]Okay that's even worse. I've had that question on tests and thing before and I have entirely NO idea how to answer anything like that. I don't have any sort of overly stressful experiences. Wait, shit, maybe I do. So that would be the first time I could answer that specific question. If it's something else like that, then I'm probably fucked. I don't know. There's a weakness, I overthink things. Would that be relevant to say?[/QUOTE] You need to just relax, i was in the same position, my first interview at a fast food place and I had that exact question. And I answered like a spaz and then just told him I couldn't think of one. If you can't honestly recall a time when X Y or Z has happened, just give it to them straight, I got the job anyways. If you can come up with a believable substitute just use that. Otherwise the main thing is to [I]relax.[/I]
[QUOTE=Parakon;41794252]You need to just relax, i was in the same position, my first interview at a fast food place and I had that exact question. And I answered like a spaz and then just told him I couldn't think of one. If you can't honestly recall a time when X Y or Z has happened, just give it to them straight, I got the job anyways. If you can come up with a believable substitute just use that. Otherwise the main thing is to [I]relax.[/I][/QUOTE] Okay. Thanks a lot for the help. I don't really know how to relax that well, but I'm trying. It's gonna be a bitch trying to sleep. I'll be back on in the morning, so any more advice is totally welcome.
[QUOTE=riku2211;41794278]Okay. Thanks a lot for the help. I don't really know how to relax that well, but I'm trying. It's gonna be a bitch trying to sleep. I'll be back on in the morning, so any more advice is totally welcome.[/QUOTE] Just look up lists of interview questions and prep an answer for them. thats what i did for my interview where i work now. Makes everything run a lot smoother than trying to figure one out on the spot
Let me tell you the story about the past year or so of my life with my first girlfriend, if you want to read it then thank you, if not, I don't mind. Almost two years ago, in September I started sixth form in school and I met a girl who I really liked, she seemed so nice, but I was too shy to start any real conversation with her. It was only around half a year later in March that we started talking, and man, she was amazing, I could tell I started falling for her there and then, not long after there was a party and we kissed, but the day after she told me it couldn't work because of things in her past and she didn't want to ruin the friendship we had. So we didn't talk for a while, and I spent every day upset over her, but again, we started talking and hanging out, and suddenly she sprang the same thing on me, she wasn't sure of her feelings, so I was just so annoyed and upset over it that we didn't talk again until August last year. So August came and we began to talk again, we hung out some more, and I was really feeling some strong feelings for her, and all of a sudden, one day she kissed me, and it was one of the best moments of my life, it was just amazing, I'm crying thinking about it. We ended up getting together in September and although we had some bad arguments, overall it was the best time of my life, I was so happy, I thought nothing could go wrong. Then comes the beginning of this year, when I moved into my new house, things were still pretty good, except I started to have depression, which I couldn't see for a while, and that put a huge strain on the relationship, there were times where we talked about breaking up, but it was never anything too serious. She tried to help me with my depression, but she had anger issues and it wasn't a good mix. In the end, around 3 months ago we broke up, but we were back together a week or two later, but we didn't last long at all, because she went on holiday and wanted to tell guys she was single so they would be nicer to her, and I ended up calling her a slut, so then we broke up for good, or so it seemed. The beginning of July we started talking again, and mostly flirted and talked about having sex again, so we started sending pictures back and forth and all that stuff, and of course, we ended up having sex and all that. She later decided that we should only be friends without benefits so its easier to get over each other, but that didn't last long. There was talk about getting back together, but only when I sorted my problems out, at this point I wasn't depressed, but I had a little something called DPD (dependent personality disorder) which means I was needy, I could get easily anxious, I hated being alone, etc. After establishing I had DPD just a few days ago, it seemed the future was looking good for us, but last night we both had a drink and when we got back we started arguing over something really silly, and it ended up she wanted to phone her mother at 2AM, and I knew if she did then we wouldn't be able to see each other again. So I hid her phone and tried to calm her down, which ended up in me grabbing her and stuff which has now given her bruises, and I feel absolutely terrible for it. So now her mother has come to my house to have a go at me, people like her father are out to get me because I "hit her" which is bullshit. She now doesn't want to have anything to do with me, and well... So that's where I wrap it up. Thats how I struggled to get lost the girl I love, and how I eventually lost her. And I am so fearful of the future, because of DPD I am really struggling being alone, I'm always bored because I don't have a job, I really don't know what to do now guys, I used to talk to her every day, and now there's a big void in my life where she used to be, and I don't even text or talk to anyone else. This is really hard. I'm starting to think that its not worth going on like this, but part of me knows the future will be worth it, its just the present is so tough right now. Now even my father hates me because he thinks people are going to think I'm a woman beater and that her father is most likely to come on to me and beat me up basically. I have never been so alone in my life.
I really need someone's help on where to go from here, it's all so hard.
Well I got done with that interview a bit ago. Definitely don't feel like I did great. I said "um" a lot, I think, and had trouble thinking up my answers. He said he had like 15 other applications to go over so I doubt I have much of a chance. Feeling pretty disheartened, as I so easily am. I guess I know what an interview is like now, though. Thing is, that was one of the last places I applied at, and it's the only place that's contacted me, so I feel kind of dumb for screwing it up seeing is it's doubtful at this point that anyone else will contact me. [QUOTE=AltUser;41798966]I really need someone's help on where to go from here, it's all so hard.[/QUOTE] Look dude, I know what it feels like to have screwed something up with someone. Give it some time. Lots of time. Let things cool down. Then you decide for yourself if you should apologize to her or simply let things be. Looking at your history, though, if you want to apologize, make sure that's all you're doing. Say you're sorry, and don't try to re-befriend her. I really think it's best for you to get away from this girl. I know how you feel about her and I know it's hard and you really don't [I]want[/I] to let go of her, but after all of this you have to accept that it just isn't going to happen. As for her parents, make sure they know you're sorry and that it was an in the moment (not to mention drunk) thing, that you had no intention of hurting her and didn't actually hit her or whatever. You fucked up pretty fuckin bad there dude. Like really. But don't dwell on it. Make sure it never happens again with anyone else. It's already happened, so don't even worry about that, just remember it and learn from it. As for your own parents, same thing. They're your parents, they don't hate you and aren't going to disown you. I think I might even have the same thing you do, DPD or whatever. Just thinking about it I'm largely the same way, and loneliness drives me insane and deeper into depression. I was also rather needy with my ex but I can somewhat say that was because of the warped image I had of a relationship in my mind. I actually asked her if we could try to see eachother for at least an hour everyday, thinking it would be good for our relationship. We didn't much live up to that but it was still too much to ask. Now that I know what I know and have learned from all that, I realize I was sort of treating our relationship like a marriage.
Thanks for everything again Riku, you've really helped me these past weeks. I have been apologising to her a lot, and what I miss the most is just talking to someone and spending time with someone, like my friends and I don't see each other often. I am glad to say that I don't really have the intention of getting back together with her, or even hanging out with each other anymore, but it still seems really shit that it all had to end with her saying "I want nothing to do with you anymore". What you said about "loneliness drives me insane and deeper into depression", I could not put it better myself, I am so lonely, and it's killing me. I'm just really thankful I have this thread and people like you in it to support me. I would be fine with letting time pass, but it just seems hopeless, like I'm going to be lonely and without a job or any hobbies for weeks, and the thought of that is just awful, but the thing is, I'm not interested in anything anymore, like gaming and stuff which I used to love, so I'm pretty screwed. And as for the job interview, you may be surprised, although I don't want to get your hopes up. I've been for a few interviews, and there's so many other people applying that you shouldn't be put down too much if you're not the guy they need. Just know something good will come, and you will be happy with that.
[QUOTE=riku2211;41794047]About this, I feel like I need to question it. I don't have a volatile relationship with my ex, and we ARE friends. I already have school with her, no classes with her but I see her most every day. Seeing her at work would just feel somewhat pressuring because I almost feel like I need to live up to some standard, which I am working on getting over. I don't think I should refuse the only job offer I've gotten just because she works there as well. I want a job, and I'm not getting one anywhere else. On the other hand, I know you're right and I know it'll cause some sort of problem for me. I just can't afford to turn down the job. Mind expanding on what you mean by "They care about how you'd perform in the workplace"? Listing off strengths and weak points is, well, a weak point for me. I feel like my mind just clogs up when I start trying to think of anything. One strength I can think of is that I pay attention to detail. A weakness would be that I... get distracted somewhat easily? Except I really don't in a workplace environment. See that took me a long time to think of. I'm having a lot of trouble with this.[/QUOTE] Don't mix relationships with the workplace. Ever. It's just bad news. Look up interviewing tips. A lot of people have issues talking about themselves. It's not that hard, promise.
I was just drifting to sleep, which is something I thought I wouldn't be able to do tonight, and as I turn off my laptop I discover my ex has removed me from Facebook, shit hurts man. [editline]11th August 2013[/editline] Well guess who's wide awake now... And the 10 minutes I was nearly sleeping for was the only time today where I haven't been tearing up and full of worry and sadness. [editline]11th August 2013[/editline] I swear everyones getting into a relationship today too, and although I'm really happy for him, my close friend who I used to go out with and chat up girls with is now in a relationship. It seems I was allowed 10 minutes of happiness today, and now even more shit is going on.
[QUOTE=AltUser;41801870]I was just drifting to sleep, which is something I thought I wouldn't be able to do tonight, and as I turn off my laptop I discover my ex has removed me from Facebook, shit hurts man. [editline]11th August 2013[/editline] Well guess who's wide awake now... And the 10 minutes I was nearly sleeping for was the only time today where I haven't been tearing up and full of worry and sadness. [editline]11th August 2013[/editline] I swear everyones getting into a relationship today too, and although I'm really happy for him, my close friend who I used to go out with and chat up girls with is now in a relationship. It seems I was allowed 10 minutes of happiness today, and now even more shit is going on.[/QUOTE] She's done you a favor. Go to sleep.
girl I like a lot went to ocean city md for the week with a few guys, one of them is my room mate. she told me she kissed him and they're a thing now. fuck my life. i'm so sick of this shit
[QUOTE=redBadger;41805350]girl I like a lot went to ocean city md for the week with a few guys, one of them is my room mate. she told me she kissed him and they're a thing now. fuck my life. i'm so sick of this shit[/QUOTE] Just suck it up and move on to someone else. It might sound blunt, but there's not much else you can do.
[QUOTE=D3TBS;41788584]assuming fbo is facebook official, I wouldnt really care. It doesnt determine anything[/QUOTE] the thing with FBO is that you are confident enough to tell everyone else it might not seem like anything and i really don't care if a relationship is fbo but i understand where people do think its important
I'm not really sure how to meet new people now. As you know, I'm really lonely, I have no job, and I would like someone new to talk to (A woman preferably). But the thing is, there's no where to really go out and meet people, I go out drinking on the weekend, but I'm starting to get fed up of that. So how can I meet people when I hardly go out? Like there's something weird about just randomly Facebook messaging or tweeting someone, but I would like to do something like that.
Change one of those things. Get a job. Go out more, to just random places. Hit the gym and don't wear headphones so people feel more inclined to talk to you. Nobody is forcing you to stay at home and do nothing. Or you could just try online dating websites.
ooooonline dating its the future~
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;41806348]Just suck it up and move on to someone else. It might sound blunt, but there's not much else you can do.[/QUOTE] As much as I want to tell you to go fuck yourself, you're right. It's just that it's happened to pretty much every girl I've wanted to date. We'd get close, they'd act all super cool and close and everything, but then I'd make the move and *BAM* oh wait, I'm actually dating this other random fucking dude, but we're still good friends right? In other words, I'm a model friend zone victim. I really liked this girl too, like a lot. Oh well. I guess dating and shit isn't for me. There's a point where you just have to give up after being rejected for someone else so many times.
I really am trying to get a job, but its to no avail so far. I'm not really sure about online dating, I don't think its an option for me yet. I just like the idea of finding someone new I can talk to.
[QUOTE=AltUser;41809807]I really am trying to get a job, but its to no avail so far. I'm not really sure about online dating, I don't think its an option for me yet. I just like the idea of finding someone new I can talk to.[/QUOTE] Someone whose actually interested in dating and not fucking you over sounds nice for a guy like me.
Oh boy, another self-pitying friendzone victim.
ugh I like this girl but I never asked her out and and now shes with another guy what a total bitch how could she break my heart like this
I just wish girls didn't make friends with guys unless they planned on dating them, it's [I]so[/I] unfair. Fuck mixed signals!! I am 99.9% sure that these people who think the girls are being super close and cool and everything are - in fact - looking far too into it, since they themselves have feelings for the person. Most likely, the girl is probably treating you just as nice as she treats all her other friends, but because you have a crush on her, you tell yourself that she's being extra nice to you and clearly is just toying with your feelings and friendzoning you like the bitch she is.
the only time you should think they're toying with your feelings is if they're making out with you or having sex with you and then they say it meant nothing that's heart crushing for me ): [editline]12th August 2013[/editline] but alas i get over it and they're still great friends
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