Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Leader of Me]

I finally admitted to my ex that I used to smoke weed and what not before I met her and after we broke up, feels good to finally get that off my chest even though she wasn't too happy about it.

[rrkpp_]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;41819297]you don't have to actually be confident. just fake it til you make it - even if you're shy, if you pretend to be confident eventually you'll feel confident as well.
in order to stop being nervous you have to expose yourself to the thing you're nervous about. if you're trying to get over a phobia you familiarize yourself with the thing you're afraid of until you stop having an initial reaction of panic to it, if you're shy you expose yourself to social situations until you get used to them and realize there's nothing to be nervous about.[/QUOTE]

ye it seems like a lot of people think confidence is a prerequisite to success like you're either born with it or you aren't. if you just force yourself into situations you don't feel confident in you'll kinda just bullshit your way through it and then be able to look back on it like "oh, that wasnt very bad" and eventually get comfortable with it. i used to be really nervous about approaching people, especially chicks, so i just started forcing myself to blurt out their names (lol) and start a conversation. it worked really well, i guess because saying someones name is really simple and you can get it out in those little bursts of confidence you have when working your way into a situation, and once you've said their name you don't really have any choice but to go through with the conversation. after a while you realize its really not that bad and at some point you aren't faking confidence anymore, you just genuinely feel comfortable in situations you used to be terrified of.

[Taepodong-2]

Another problem I have is being way too quick to judge people I don't even know just by looking at them. How can I stop doing that?

[PollytheParrot]

Stop judging people then? When you find yourself judging them tell yourself to stop.

That, or focus on trying to figure out what their positive qualities are

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;41827611]Another problem I have is being way too quick to judge people I don't even know just by looking at them. How can I stop doing that?[/QUOTE]

Slow your roll on the sterotypes. That'll help.

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;41827611]Another problem I have is being way too quick to judge people I don't even know just by looking at them. How can I stop doing that?[/QUOTE]

just don't talk about it to them

everyone judges and really nobody can say they don't they definitely do

whether you choose to act on it is on you though

[MrJazzy]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;41827611]Another problem I have is being way too quick to judge people I don't even know just by looking at them. How can I stop doing that?[/QUOTE]

If you can bring yourself to it, then hang out and talk to people that are odd or unpleasant :v:

For example, I grew up with the weirdest friend (he had aspergers) for 10 years, and I think that's made me a very tolerant person.

[Splash Attack]

Some girls were standing behind the store at work earlier.I deliver and had my car parked there and as I went in and out at least one of them said hi both times. One of them also said they like my shoes, and told me bye and drive safe as I drove off. I just gave one word responses like "Hi", "thanks", etc.

I feel like I missed an opportunity by not talking to them. :/

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;41841872]Some girls were standing behind the store at work earlier.I deliver and had my car parked there and as I went in and out at least one of them said hi both times. One of them also said they like my shoes, and told me bye and drive safe as I drove off. I just gave one word responses like "Hi", "thanks", etc.

I feel like I missed an opportunity by not talking to them. :/[/QUOTE]

You did. Next time though!

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;41827611]Another problem I have is being way too quick to judge people I don't even know just by looking at them. How can I stop doing that?[/QUOTE]

you aren't responsible for your thoughts and feelings, those can't easily be controlled. what you are responsible for is your behavior. if you realize your thoughts are improper then don't express them, that's all you can really do. making a conscious effort not to think about something is only going to make you think about it more.

[editline]15th August 2013[/editline]

just realized fire kracker already said the exact same thing

[editline]15th August 2013[/editline]

but aside from that, people criticize what they don't understand. if you want to stop automatically judging people then try and understand others, realize that most people can be boiled down to the same insecurities and desires and they just manifest in different ways. like jazzy said, try and relate to people you wouldn't usually interact with.

[Slacker996]

yo i got a crush with a girl that lives upstate and our distance apart is tearing me apart inside

btw she visited and we hit it off in the 2 days we hung out before she had to leave

[AltUser]

[QUOTE=Slacker996;41848772]yo i got a crush with a girl that lives upstate and our distance apart is tearing me apart inside

btw she visited and we hit it off in the 2 days we hung out before she had to leave[/QUOTE]

It may sound hard, but try not to get too hung up on her, it isn't an unusual occurrence for people to hit it off for the first few days/weeks/etc.
Keep talking to her over text, etc. but maybe just follow the old saying "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." I really wish someone told me that saying and I listened to it, so trust me on this one.

[editline]15th August 2013[/editline]

My problem however, is not that big, it's just something that has really been... Well, I can't explain it, it's been making me feel empty.
You know when you have that person close to you who you can feel loved with, and regularly cuddle and hug, and all the rest of it?

What can I do when that person is gone? I'm always feeling the same urge for intimacy, like just one hug would make me feel content, but I just feel lonely as shit right now.
I can't really explain the feeling, but do you know when you just hold that person in your arms, or hug them? It just makes you feel complete and gives you that really nice warm feeling inside. I'm really missing that recently and I really don't know how to replace it.

[Jo The Shmo]

get a waifu pillow

[editline]15th August 2013[/editline]

and wank on it

[bobsynergy]

[QUOTE=AltUser;41851400]It may sound hard, but try not to get too hung up on her, it isn't an unusual occurrence for people to hit it off for the first few days/weeks/etc.
Keep talking to her over text, etc. but maybe just follow the old saying "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." I really wish someone told me that saying and I listened to it, so trust me on this one.

[editline]15th August 2013[/editline]

My problem however, is not that big, it's just something that has really been... Well, I can't explain it, it's been making me feel empty.
You know when you have that person close to you who you can feel loved with, and regularly cuddle and hug, and all the rest of it?

What can I do when that person is gone? I'm always feeling the same urge for intimacy, like just one hug would make me feel content, but I just feel lonely as shit right now.
I can't really explain the feeling, but do you know when you just hold that person in your arms, or hug them? It just makes you feel complete and gives you that really nice warm feeling inside. I'm really missing that recently and I really don't know how to replace it.[/QUOTE]

Yep going through that right now it's horrible, hopefully I should be hanging out with friends soon so that should help somewhat.

But my life today after my breakup is like a horrible sitcom, seriously I'm at the gym lifting and there is a tv with the news on infront of me and the guy talking had the same last name as my ex, then after that I go to the mall and I go into this store and in the store they have like a few pieces of paper wher you can right stuff and I found a message from my ex that she wrote awhile ago saying she loved me forever.

Like I could hear the laughtrack, god dammit :v: what a horrible day to try to get my mind off things.

[Agoat]

[QUOTE=bobsynergy;41853115]Yep going through that right now it's horrible, hopefully I should be hanging out with friends soon so that should help somewhat.

But my life today after my breakup is like a horrible sitcom, seriously I'm at the gym lifting and there is a tv with the news on infront of me and the guy talking had the same last name as my ex, then after that I go to the mall and I go into this store and in the store they have like a few pieces of paper wher you can right stuff and I found a message from my ex that she wrote awhile ago saying she loved me forever.

Like I could hear the laughtrack, god dammit :v: what a horrible day to try to get my mind off things.[/QUOTE]

get some ice cream

i dunno if it'll help but everyone loves ice cream

[bobsynergy]

[QUOTE=Agoat;41853531]get some ice cream

i dunno if it'll help but everyone loves ice cream[/QUOTE]

Eh I went for another walk and ran into a friend so I'm already feeling a lot better, plus right before she sent the txt to meet I used the last of my ice cream for a milkshake :v:

But I bought a Zeppola (An amazing Italian pastry) from a local Italian bakery which makes me feel right at home so that helps.

Just the stuff I ran into which I mentioned was pretty gay.

[rammaster]

This image reminded me of this thread.

[img]http://31.media.tumblr.com/12cb7e802f6793f06ec05eab6211365d/tumblr_mr9q9xG6Io1qzcv7no1_500.png[/img]

[dmillerw]

So I've got this friend who shall remain un-named. She's a good person who I enjoy knowing, hanging out with, and talking to. But lately she's been interacting with her ex in such a way that it seems like they might get back together, and in the process she's ignoring me and everyone else basically. At least, that's how it feels. We used to hang out a good amount and text occasionally, now I just feel alone. I've got other friends, but I miss her especially.

[AltUser]

Well, ever since my breakup I've obviously not been going out as much, and I've been lonely as Hell.
It doesn't really help that all of my mates are in relationships now and barely go out. But tonight me and possibly one or two of the guys are going out, as are some other girls in our group of friends, and to be honest, I'm not even sure what I'm doing anymore. I'm going to try and be more social with people and see if it takes me anywhere good.
But right now I'm on a very fine line, I could either end up being a complete recluse and being depressed as shit, or I can try and get out there and make a better social life for myself. Right now it's on the tipping point, it could go either way, and I really do have to try and be strong. I found out my ex is happier without me today as well, it partly kills me, but partly makes me think she's such a bitch for everything.

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=dmillerw;41872181]So I've got this friend who shall remain un-named. She's a good person who I enjoy knowing, hanging out with, and talking to. But lately she's been interacting with her ex in such a way that it seems like they might get back together, and in the process she's ignoring me and everyone else basically. At least, that's how it feels. We used to hang out a good amount and text occasionally, now I just feel alone. I've got other friends, but I miss her especially.[/QUOTE]

You can't hold that against her if you never made it clear you want to be more than friends.

[dmillerw]

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;41872577]You can't hold that against her if you never made it clear you want to be more than friends.[/QUOTE]

That's not the point I was making. Point is we don't hang out at all anymore.

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=dmillerw;41873069]That's not the point I was making. Point is we don't hang out at all anymore.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=dmillerw;41872181]At least, that's how it feels.[/QUOTE]

I think you are just feeling it. Having a relationship takes time from other parts of your life.

[dmillerw]

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;41873528]I think you are just feeling it. Having a relationship takes time from other parts of your life.[/QUOTE]

She doesn't really have an actual relationship though. They broke up a few months ago, and she (at least she used to) try and expand her social circle. Not shrink it further.
She's basically doing what she used to do during the relationship, and honestly (she agreed) she improved after it ended. Just kind of worried.

[AltUser]

Well tonight I think I did alright. Even when my mates left, I stayed with the girls in my group for a bit, and I was okay with them, it was all good. In the end I did end up going a little early, but it was because the music was so loud that I couldn't even talk to people, so I just told them I was going and went. But overall I'm pretty happy with myself.

[Splash Attack]

Closed last night at work and there were a couple girls I delivered to I feel like I could have made a move on. I'm not saying they were all up on my dick or anything, but they were more friendly and conversational than your average customer. The thing is, being a delivery driver, I'm not sure how I should handle the situation. On one hand, I want to meet these people, but on the other, I feel like I have to be professional on some level. Those girls trying to get my attention the other night are totally fine and I don't have anything stopping me from them other than my own nerves. However, I'm not sure how to go about taking initiative when it comes to customers.

If anyone has ever tried to pick up a customer, some advice or a retelling of what you did would be cool.

[PollytheParrot]

Stay away from customers, at least while you're on the clock

[Splash Attack]

Yeahh... The more I think about it, it seems like sound advice.

[Leader of Me]

Any advice on how to get over your first love?

[Heigou]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;41877553]Any advice on how to get over your first love?[/QUOTE]

get a second one

[Leader of Me]

Any other advice or just how to get over your ex in general?