Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
everyone hates me cuz im french
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;42019867]
[URL]http://imgur.com/a/jD8y9[/URL][/QUOTE]
just having read this conversation in retrospect, your ex did not treat you fairly or with any decency in that conversation, in fact she treated you wrongly
furthermore if there's one thing I've learnt over the years it's that people who let cutesy text messages, flowers in the morning, love hearts and hand holding be the keystone of their relationship, and ultimately allow it to determine their sense of the relationship's worth are not worth attempting to hold onto. As a partner you aren't, and definitely shouldn't be there to make the person feel like they're not worth nothing. They should have a sense of self-worth without your help.
Being a good partner is about being supportive - encouraging a person as the PERSON that they are, not as the partner that they are to you. If she was unable to accept that you cared because you didn't send her the texts she wanted to see, or take her out for candlelit dinners, then she a bit of growing up to do.
Sure, it's less Hollywood and it's less romantic but it's deeper and it's truer and if she didn't appreciate the ways in which you expressed your caring and support to her then you will find something a lot better out there
I understand you probably still want to be her friend and that's absolutely fine and up to you - but don't go running off with the idea that this is entirely because you did something wrong. If she wants to lay blame on you then she has to accept blame for her attitudes as well. If she dumped you she has to accept the responsibility of that choice instead of getting angry with you about it.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;42038102]just having read this conversation in retrospect, your ex did not treat you fairly or with any decency in that conversation, in fact she treated you wrongly[/QUOTE]
[del]Could you elaborate a bit? I know she was pretty pissed at the time, but how did she treat me wrongly?[/del]
Nevermind, I get what you mean now that you edited in that part. Honestly, now that you said that, I think you're 100% right. I have a bad habit of blaming myself for things. She presented that to me and I think I just put the entirety of the blame on myself. I need to stop doing that. If she wants that kind of thing in a relationship, that fine, but if I have to constantly make a conscious effort to make her feel wanted, I don't think it was meant to be.
It may be worth mentioning that our relationship was tied with the longest relationship she had ever had. Idk, if that has something to do with it or not.
slap the hoe
Okay so in January my ex "girlfriend" broke up with me - there wasn't really much of a relationship, I wouldn't really say we were a real couple anyway, because we weren't very consistent with seeing each other, and it was only "official" for like a month and a half or some shit, but she seems to think we were.
Anyway, I fell in love with her somewhere during the time we were seeing each other, and I'm still in love with her. I've known her since last November, so we're pretty good friends. We don't go long without talking, basically every day since we met. Now, she definitely knows I'm still in to her, and she made it sort of clear a long time ago that she can't see us being together; but here's where my head gets fucked with and I don't know how to feel: she tells me she loves me and shit like that, and often acts like she really likes me. There's no way she wouldn't know that she's leading me on if she is.
I'm not too sure what I'm supposed to do other than wait for her to finally get sick of me or do something else, because the fact that I love her aside, I value our friendship, she's the best "friend who's a girl" I have, so it's not like I can just block her out of my life.
So, what do I do :rolleyes:
So I started at a proper 4-year university this past week after putting it off for about 6 years. I was all "Fucking sweet, young people everywhere, bring on the socializing and partying and girlfriends and other college life experence shit!"
However, it turns out college is just a bunch of people sitting in class taking notes/texting, walking between classes with headphones in, studying at computers with headphones in, and standing at bus stops with headphones in. What the fuck, people? This is about the least social environment I've ever been in. Yes, my coworkers only talk about their stupid children, but at least we TALK from time to time. Nobody at college seems to actually talk to anyone. Unless they're all just silently waiting for me to leave so they can start talking again...
oh yeah trust me uni can get pretty bad in that way, try doing computer science as well, even the social people you look at and you're just like what the fuck is wrong with you people, I've overheard more than my fill of conversations about applejack fanfics
my advice to you is to join a society, or to go to happy hour at your uni bar and strike up a conversation with someone. Both are very worthwhile ways to start making friends
Also arrive early to lectures always - don't hesitate to make friends outside the lecture theater and inside before the lecture starts. Ask them what they're doing after, etc.
[QUOTE=Used Car Salesman;42038510]So I started at a proper 4-year university this past week after putting it off for about 6 years. I was all "Fucking sweet, young people everywhere, bring on the socializing and partying and girlfriends and other college life experence shit!"
However, it turns out college is just a bunch of people sitting in class taking notes/texting, walking between classes with headphones in, studying at computers with headphones in, and standing at bus stops with headphones in. What the fuck, people? This is about the least social environment I've ever been in. Yes, my coworkers only talk about their stupid children, but at least we TALK from time to time. Nobody at college seems to actually talk to anyone. Unless they're all just silently waiting for me to leave so they can start talking again...[/QUOTE]
yeah college consists of a group of awkward kids who get sent someplace to study.
if you went for the socialising you made a big mistake lmao
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;42038232][del]Could you elaborate a bit? I know she was pretty pissed at the time, but how did she treat me wrongly?[/del]
Nevermind, I get what you mean now that you edited in that part. Honestly, now that you said that, I think you're 100% right. I have a bad habit of blaming myself for things. She presented that to me and I think I just put the entirety of the blame on myself. I need to stop doing that. If she wants that kind of thing in a relationship, that fine, but if I have to constantly make a conscious effort to make her feel wanted, I don't think it was meant to be.
It may be worth mentioning that our relationship was tied with the longest relationship she had ever had. Idk, if that has something to do with it or not.[/QUOTE]
Also dude if she is going 'I don't feel valued therefore I must find someone else who will make me feel valued' that's a really bad outlook because she's totally discounted the possibility of just going single and making herself feel valued and it's also not respectful towards you or the relationship you guys had
you deserve to be with someone who values the relationship for what it is and for the connection you have not because its the only route to any sense of validation
[QUOTE=Used Car Salesman;42038510]So I started at a proper 4-year university this past week after putting it off for about 6 years. I was all "Fucking sweet, young people everywhere, bring on the socializing and partying and girlfriends and other college life experence shit!"
However, it turns out college is just a bunch of people sitting in class taking notes/texting, walking between classes with headphones in, studying at computers with headphones in, and standing at bus stops with headphones in. What the fuck, people? This is about the least social environment I've ever been in. Yes, my coworkers only talk about their stupid children, but at least we TALK from time to time. Nobody at college seems to actually talk to anyone. Unless they're all just silently waiting for me to leave so they can start talking again...[/QUOTE]
You must have gotten a crap college, the place I just started at is awesome and super friendly and everyone just starts random conversations and shiz, but then im in Canada, and the nicest part of Canada so yeah :v:
canadians are so warm and friendly
usually i hate my family but i met my canadian family members and theyre just beautiful people
[QUOTE=thisispain;42038566]canadians are so warm and friendly
usually i hate my family but i met my canadian family members and theyre just beautiful people[/QUOTE]
One of the few national sterotypes that are mostly true
[QUOTE=thisispain;42038529]yeah college consists of a group of awkward kids who get sent someplace to study.
if you went for the socialising you made a big mistake lmao[/QUOTE]
Yeah, clearly. I should get a job at a call center, or maybe long haul trucking. Definitely more social environments.
[QUOTE=thisispain;42038566]canadians are so warm and friendly
usually i hate my family but i met my canadian family members and theyre just beautiful people[/QUOTE]
i knew some canadian guys who were jerks, and i consulted another canadian guy about it and he said they were probably from nova scotia because people there are jerks
turns out they were
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42038650]i knew some canadian guys who were jerks, and i consulted another canadian guy about it and he said they were probably from nova scotia because people there are jerks
turns out they were[/QUOTE]
Dude
not cool
[QUOTE=Heigou;42038035]everyone hates me cuz im french[/QUOTE]
i've had a surprising number of french canadian people pass through my raid core in wow and everyone seems to love their accents. we always jokingly named things after them, like one of them suggested a new strategy for a boss and it was christened "the canadian method".
[QUOTE=Used Car Salesman;42038633]Yeah, clearly. I should get a job at a call center, or maybe long haul trucking. Definitely more social environments.[/QUOTE]
long haul trucking, no-one will care if you talk to your imaginary friends :)
[editline]31st August 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42038650]i knew some canadian guys who were jerks, and i consulted another canadian guy about it and he said they were probably from nova scotia because people there are jerks
turns out they were[/QUOTE]
what do you expect from scots
[QUOTE=thisispain;42038712]
what do you expect from scots[/QUOTE]
We're not that bad
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42038665]i've had a surprising number of french canadian people pass through my raid core in wow and everyone seems to love their accents. we always jokingly named things after them, like one of them suggested a new strategy for a boss and it was christened "the canadian method".[/QUOTE]
I'm french Canadian so they call me Maplefrog.
Absolutely chuffed! Didn't get my first choice of Medicine (which is no biggie, there's always next year, and people transfer into Med from other degrees all the time!) but I got Mechanical Engineering in the UK. So so happy I'm going to be enjoying uni life [I][B]finally.[/B][/I] Over the moon doesn't begin to describe it. This past year has been absolutely shit, in terms of social life and life and everything. Hopefully this next year will be a lot better.
Dad got the call saying I'd been accepted into the scholarship, and when I woke up late today, he held back what I'd got, and the suspense was awful. I kept thinking he'd turn around and say "Medicine!" but he didn't :v: Ah well, still happy with the way things went. Just glad to be getting out and being independent again and actually [I]having[/I] a life.
Finally talked to my ex after about 3 months of no communication. I'd been fine, but any mention of her brought up extreme fillings of guilt, anger, and panic.
Unblocked her on Facebook and wrote a long message really going over the faults we both had in the relationship and asking if she could forgive me for what I'd done. She replied really positively and did, so I'm on the path to closure now.
I told my ex (mentioned in the previous page) that I can't be friends with her anymore because of the feelings I still have for her after she thought it was a good idea to try to talk to me and get me to relate with her about how she loves someone but can't tell them. I finally just snapped and explained everything to her. She didn't want us not to talk anymore, and she agreed that what we had was shitty and that we should have seen it through longer, but that it's too late now. I guess it's for the best that she isn't in my life anymore.
I thought it would give me closure, but it hasn't. I don't feel better, I just feel empty. She was the only person I could talk to, she made me feel better about my problems, and now she's gone. All I can really do is prepare for a winter of loneliness.
[editline] . [/editline]
I'm trying to cry because I'm choked up and thought it would make me feel better but nothing is happening fuck :v:
I just overanalyzed the shit out of that midnight text message. It must be love.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;42049321]Is this the place to go if you're terrible with certain social situations, not specifically love/girlfriend/boyfriend related issues?[/QUOTE]
sure
Just as I thought things were better disaster strikes again. Apparently my ex girlfriends new boyfriend, who by the way lives over in Brisbane, is a Mormon and has stabbed someone has threatened to punch me and sort me out when he comes over to see her on holiday. The extremely annoying thing about this is that she did not say anything to him telling him not to or to stop talking bad about me, instead she just let it go, when if I ever said anything bad about him she'd have a go at me. I find it extremely pathetic that someone I don't even know is threatening me, I was so angry that I messaged him on Facebook asking what his problem was, maybe it wasn't the right thing to do but oh well.
The other thing that extremely annoyed me was the fact her parents approved of their relationship and I feel it is just on the grounds that he is a Mormon and I am not, she told me she wasn't allowed to go into a relationship because of the problems at home and that her parents didn't want her going through one, and now there has been a sudden change of heart. It really doesn't make me feel worthy as a human. But there is some good news, I'm meeting up with some girl on Wednesday at a music concert, we've been getting hell flirtly recently so I'm just going to see what happens.
Ditch ex, burn bridge, call the police if threats continue. There's no reason to waste your time on those two.
[QUOTE=Shark Cat;42047866]I told my ex (mentioned in the previous page) that I can't be friends with her anymore because of the feelings I still have for her after she thought it was a good idea to try to talk to me and get me to relate with her about how she loves someone but can't tell them. I finally just snapped and explained everything to her. She didn't want us not to talk anymore, and she agreed that what we had was shitty and that we should have seen it through longer, but that it's too late now. I guess it's for the best that she isn't in my life anymore.
I thought it would give me closure, but it hasn't. I don't feel better, I just feel empty. She was the only person I could talk to, she made me feel better about my problems, and now she's gone. All I can really do is prepare for a winter of loneliness.
[editline] . [/editline]
I'm trying to cry because I'm choked up and thought it would make me feel better but nothing is happening fuck :v:[/QUOTE]
If you need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you.
That applies to everyone.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;42049321]Is this the place to go if you're terrible with certain social situations, not specifically love/girlfriend/boyfriend related issues?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Super Friendly [B]Social and Love[/B] Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT[/QUOTE]
yup.
[QUOTE=Shark Cat;42047866]I told my ex (mentioned in the previous page) that I can't be friends with her anymore because of the feelings I still have for her after she thought it was a good idea to try to talk to me and get me to relate with her about how she loves someone but can't tell them. I finally just snapped and explained everything to her. She didn't want us not to talk anymore, and she agreed that what we had was shitty and that we should have seen it through longer, but that it's too late now. I guess it's for the best that she isn't in my life anymore.
I thought it would give me closure, but it hasn't. I don't feel better, I just feel empty. She was the only person I could talk to, she made me feel better about my problems, and now she's gone. All I can really do is prepare for a winter of loneliness.
[editline] . [/editline]
I'm trying to cry because I'm choked up and thought it would make me feel better but nothing is happening fuck :v:[/QUOTE]
Just because it's over now doesn't mean it's over later, you know? I'm jumping into your story at this post, but perhaps down the road you can pick up where you left off. Food for thought, considering how you're gonna be doing a lot of that. Best thing you can do right now is try to relax, maybe play a new game?
[QUOTE=ole johan;42051621]Ditch ex, burn bridge, call the police if threats continue. There's no reason to waste your time on those two.[/QUOTE]
If he gets arrested this becomes hilarious payback, too. Do it.
[editline]2nd September 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;42049321]Is this the place to go if you're terrible with certain social situations, not specifically love/girlfriend/boyfriend related issues?[/QUOTE]
Whatever you need help with. :j
[QUOTE=Agoat;42058521]Just because it's over now doesn't mean it's over later, you know? I'm jumping into your story at this post, but perhaps down the road you can pick up where you left off. Food for thought, considering how you're gonna be doing a lot of that. Best thing you can do right now is try to relax, maybe play a new game?[/QUOTE]
I really appreciate what you're saying, but she made it clear that it won't happen, and that she can't feel the same way about me.
As much as I do love her, I need to accept that she'll never be mine again.
Also as for the "new game", I'm broke, so that won't be happening :v:
[editline] . [/editline]
It feels weird for me now though knowing that she's been talking to someone else all this time as well, and developing feelings for them. She stayed up until 5 AM talking to me the other day, and for what? We weren't even properly friends, we never met up and did things together as friends, hell, I hadn't said a word to her in person since the day after she broke up with me (over text, yeah) in January. I'm only realizing now how fucked up this whole thing was, and how much time I wasted over a girl I didn't even have much of a real relationship with.
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