I'm not going to get drunk ever again - General

It's really awkward when someone approaches you and says: "I remember you from the previous night you were out" and you have no clue who the fuck they are and what happened that night.

last time I got drunk I puked all over myself fun night

How.....just how in the hell did you end up with a [i]razor[/i] in your ass?

He doesn't know, he wants us to guess. I'm going to guess that he thought the razor was cold and needed some place warm to sleep.

I never ever get drunk. I'm a pussy without any drinking buddies. :shobon:

Who gets drunk alone, seriously. And I'M pretty cautious with drinking, mainly because getting shitfaced equals falling asleep in an hour for me.

I don't understand how you can end up with a razor in your ass if you're getting drunk in your room by yourself. I don't understand how you can end up with a razor in your ass at all, actually.

I assume he means one of these [img]http://img.ehowcdn.com/article-page-main/ehow/images/a06/uv/lp/save-blade-razor-sharpener-instructions-800x800.jpg[/img] and not one of these [img]http://www.officialpsds.com/images/thumbs/Razor-Blade-psd49845.png[/img] .. at least I hope so

Reminds me of a friday night where I was sitting at the computer, minding my own business when I got a Skype from a friend. He was drunk and was apparently holding a party with some friends. His friends had bought over their friends and...yeah it went out of control, there were more strangers than people he actually knew. As I mentioned, he was drunk. He then told me to "keep a watch" over things because he was going to watch tv. Before I could say anything he walked away from the computer and laid down on his bed. (I could still see him on the webcam) For the next 2 hours, he didn't move. The party was still going on, in fact I don't think anyone really noticed that he had passed out. I went to bed with skype on pause and came back the next morning. It was 10am, and I unpaused Skype, to see that he was still lying on his bed. I heard some people in th background were about to leave, and I could hear a guy in another room watching TV. So that went on for a bit, and then Skype dropped the call. Damnit. Three hours later, my friend called me. "Dude, you gotta help me, I had a party last night and-" I interrupted him said "I know" He had no clue how I knew :v: But I told him what I saw and he told me to come over and help clean up. Heh.

How long have you been drinking? Worst thing I ever did was the first time I drank, I chugged like eight Mike's Hard fruity drinks and was sick for two hours. I'm just coming off a 24 hour drinking and xanax binge and I feel like a million bucks. I guess one's body acclimates to the abuse over time.

Haha, I drunk for the first time two weeks ago, Had 5-6 beers and barely got buzzed. Ended up walking home and being followed, but i lost them. I ended up making out with the girl i came with but eh, It wasn't anything special, Plus she was not my kind of girl so i just walked home three miles sorta buzzed.

Blacking out is usually a learning experience that many people take for granted after the initial shock of not remembering has subsided. I've had a couple black out nights. They have never been frequent, and I always feel deeply embarrased, even if I didn't do anything particularly embarassing or stupid-- I still feel upset with myself because I don't like the idea of doing stuff I don't remember. Its a fucked up feeling to wake up and think: "What did I do last night?" One of the first women I've ever had a great feeling for, a girl that I had a lot in common with to say the least, I really ruined it one night when I got hammered, called her up and got her to hang out with me. I ended up falling asleep on her front lawn and my friends had to get me home. Bad night. I woke up the next day laying in my bed, all warm and comfortable in my bed. I stretched, yawned and then realized that I had no recollection of the night before. Its a sickening feeling and I feel bad for people that experience it.

I call pure bullshit on this story. First of all, it'd be ironic that you only remember the bits that had the terrible shit in them. Like bananas and shoving razors in your ass. Had you actually been disoriented to the degree you claim, you would have remembered other shit, not [i]just[/i] the funny / insane shit. Second, had you actually stuck a razor in your ass, even a safety razor, you would have been bleeding quite significantly as your intestines bleed like crazy when something happens to that nature. Second, the bacteria you would have in your ass could cause sepsis, which sets in only a few hours after an injury of that kind, meaning you'd be incredibly sick. On top of that, you have two choice sets of dialog one could perceive you said, which play perfectly onto the, "man I was so wasted last night" scenario commonly seen among storytellers. In summary: You decided to come to Facepunch with a ridiculous story involving bananas and shoving razors into your ass in a very sad attempt to get cheap laughs. Mission accomplished?

[QUOTE=seano12;33145527]I've been wasted once or twice and all that shit about passing out, not remembering the night before and seeing double vision is all a bunch of bullshit. All you do is act like a fool and feel sick. Being drunk is pretty fucking pointless if you ask me... unless you're depressed.[/QUOTE] then you've never been wasted, liar

[QUOTE=CrispexOps;33159752]I call pure bullshit on this story. First of all, it'd be ironic that you only remember the bits that had the terrible shit in them. Like bananas and shoving razors in your ass. Had you actually been disoriented to the degree you claim, you would have remembered other shit, not [i]just[/i] the funny / insane shit. Second, had you actually stuck a razor in your ass, even a safety razor, you would have been bleeding quite significantly as your intestines bleed like crazy when something happens to that nature. Second, the bacteria you would have in your ass could cause sepsis, which sets in only a few hours after an injury of that kind, meaning you'd be incredibly sick. On top of that, you have two choice sets of dialog one could perceive you said, which play perfectly onto the, "man I was so wasted last night" scenario commonly seen among storytellers. In summary: You decided to come to Facepunch with a ridiculous story involving bananas and shoving razors into your ass in a very sad attempt to get cheap laughs. Mission accomplished?[/QUOTE] I don't know about that man. I think you're going far too out of your way to call bullshit on his story. You can only really ever take most stories with a grain of salt, especially when they aren't described with very much emphasis or detail. Especially this story for example, there's little substance to it. How do you know it didn't happen? Like I get your point, but there is really no need to 'take him on' like this. It does nothing but show that you've got something to prove, an ego that needs a stroking. I've been hammered before and gone into a McDonalds with a can of axe body spray with my friends. (They wre sober, they picked me up from a wedding in which I had been heavily drinking) I started to spray the stuff everywhere in the McDonald's. Walking around saying "WHO IS SPRAYING THAT SHIT? IM ALLERGIC GODDAMNIT WHO IS THAT? My THROAT IS CLOSING!"

[QUOTE=CrispexOps;33159752]I call pure bullshit on this story. First of all, it'd be ironic that you only remember the bits that had the terrible shit in them. Like bananas and shoving razors in your ass. Had you actually been disoriented to the degree you claim, you would have remembered other shit, not [i]just[/i] the funny / insane shit. Second, had you actually stuck a razor in your ass, even a safety razor, you would have been bleeding quite significantly as your intestines bleed like crazy when something happens to that nature. Second, the bacteria you would have in your ass could cause sepsis, which sets in only a few hours after an injury of that kind, meaning you'd be incredibly sick. On top of that, you have two choice sets of dialog one could perceive you said, which play perfectly onto the, "man I was so wasted last night" scenario commonly seen among storytellers. In summary: You decided to come to Facepunch with a ridiculous story involving bananas and shoving razors into your ass in a very sad attempt to get cheap laughs. Mission accomplished?[/QUOTE] this is what he rememberes when he woke up afterwards, not during. read post

So...why [I]did[/I] you have a razor in your ass?

[QUOTE=MovingSalad;33159796]I don't know about that man. I think you're going far too out of your way to call bullshit on his story. You can only really ever take most stories with a grain of salt, especially when they aren't described with very much emphasis or detail. Especially this story for example, there's little substance to it. How do you know it didn't happen? Like I get your point, but there is really no need to 'take him on' like this. It does nothing but show that you've got something to prove, an ego that needs a stroking. I've been hammered before and gone into a McDonalds with a can of axe body spray with my friends. (They wre sober, they picked me up from a wedding in which I had been heavily drinking) I started to spray the stuff everywhere in the McDonald's. Walking around saying "WHO IS SPRAYING THAT SHIT? IM ALLERGIC GODDAMNIT WHO IS THAT? My THROAT IS CLOSING!"[/QUOTE] I don't buy it because of the sheer ridiculousness of it. Think of it this way: Funny things generally involve outrageous behavior. A razor in the ass is a true "what the fuck" moment. Not to mention, bits of banana everywhere (something else ridiculous), etc. The whole story just seems like a classic bullshit story.

Or he just got really drunk, tried to fuck himself with a banana countless times, was too tight, and opted for a razor instead.

[QUOTE=BrQ;33146253]Your uncle fucked you and put a razor in your ass so you'd think your ass hurt because of the razor[/QUOTE] funny or useful

I feel you bro. Had a horrible first experience... too much Vodka, Whiskey, and whatever the hell else my friends brought over. It was fun at first, acting like a dumbass, lack of motor control and whatnot, but shit went down when I started going overboard. I'd run to the bathroom and scream at my own reflection (vaguely remember that) and I'd roll around the floor grunting like a pig. Ended up vomiting in almost every single room in my friend's house before they managed to restrain me and made me take a cold shower. Woke up naked in a bed with a shit-ton of blankets wrapped around me. Felt the effects of a hangover for a week or so. Never in my life have I felt like complete shit during school.

[QUOTE=Zeke129;33160777]funny or useful[/QUOTE] artistic

We've pretty much all been there before, I had a terrible experience at a local bar... I was falling in the fire place and I split my drink on the bar and proceeded to slurp it all up while every one was apparently looking. I was also told I was quoting shakespeare to the taxi driver, fuck knows why. Everyones gotta have this experience so they find their limit and know how much to drink next time without getting into a terrible state. I will be checking back on this thread later to see if there is any more details on the razor in the arse.

Every sunday morning i say i will never drink again, then next friday night rolls around...

[QUOTE=Slawter;33145039]I don't remember last night wholly, so I can only tell you bits and pieces, and the results. You guys try to guess what happened, because honestly, I haven't got a fucking clue. Uhh... I remember cleaning pieces of banana from all over my body, it was pretty much stuck to my hair. There are also pieces of a banana peel on the floor, stuck. The whole room smells of puke, and there are what appears to be either shit stains or rotten banana peels on the floor. I remember my uncle walking in on me sleeping fully naked on the covers with a razor in my ass. He asked me if I just didn't sleep well, and then he should've left, but I clearly remember myself being aware of the fact that the door never really closed, so he might still be here. I still smell of piss, rotten bananas and puke, and my asshole is hurting. Here are some of the things I apparently said to my friend while drunk. (I removed my steam name for privacy reasons) Me: hey you thre? Me: yo would nit beliebe how bucking hung ovet i am' Me: jeus fuck my uncle walked in on me full naked on my bed with a banaanain my face and a razor in my ass Me: i dont know how drunk i was but i think id id somq crazi shi and im stl shaking'' Me: oh god m shaking or this Me: jesus my wole room smells of puke Me: i think im better ow i took a shower and got the banana out of my hair Me: also i was fast asleep when the Me: razor was in my ass so i dunno f he actually saw anyrhing but the roo, still smells of puke Well the whole night was a fucking disaster, but hey, at least I learned something. Never drink even more to get drunk when you already are.[/QUOTE] Sounds like one hell of a party. Hangover-style.

A razor in your ass? WHAT?

"I'm not going to get drunk ever again!" £20 says you wake up next Sunday morning under a bridge surrounded by empty bottles and vomit.

My friend has pictures of me passed out nude with a bucket half full with puke on my head. It was hilarious seeing them the first time when I can't remember it myself at all.

[QUOTE=Spool;33167278]My friend has pictures of me passed out nude with a bucket half full with puke on my head. It was hilarious seeing them the first time when I can't remember it myself at all.[/QUOTE] I seriously have pictures of a guy that I frequently run into, when I go out, so I guess you'd call him my friend, although I don't consider him that... FUCKING THE TAILPIPE of a Toyota. Don't care if you believe it. He's on his knees, pants on his ankles. Right hand holding a beer (and spilling a lot of it in the pic) on the tailwing. His other hand is holding his half-soft dick, and is trying to push it into the exhaust. All because someone dared his drunk ass he wouldn't/couldn't do it. He remembered NOTHING, and was shocked to find out about the existance of photographic proof. It's been circulating within a group of guys, but as far as I know, nobody shared it with 'outsiders' like true bro's. Not cool when you do funny shit when drunk, and people share the pictures with others who shouldn't see those pics.

[QUOTE=TheMetricSystem;33167318]Not cool when you do funny shit when drunk, and people share the pictures with others who shouldn't see those pics.[/QUOTE] I'll have to show you the video of my 65-year-old aunt, off her face of Harvey Wallbangers, riding down a hill on a stolen bicycle.