• Crossdressing/Transgender Megathread v. Socks are both a running gag and mandatory
    4,760 replies, posted
[QUOTE=biodude94566;38937083]Oh. A lot of people know they're trans since very young ages. Though I agree 2 is a little early... most people don't have memories before about 5.[/QUOTE] Well I still remember being one year old The most prominent memory was of this gigantic, flat-faced, caricatured dog which I guess was supposed to be a back cushion, and my parents reading stuff to me. Damnit, I miss being a small-ass mofo. On topic, how do they? Wouldn't it be during their preteen stages?
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38936976]wait WTF[/QUOTE] I just meant I've had male behaviour since I was very very young :p
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38937293]On topic, how do they? Wouldn't it be during their preteen stages?[/QUOTE] There's more to being any specific gender other than sexual desires and such. For young transgender children they have this nagging feeling that they belong with girls for mtf transchildren or boys for ftm transchildren.
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38937293]On topic, how do they? Wouldn't it be during their preteen stages?[/QUOTE] I feel like you're confusing gender with stuff linked to sex, girlfriends, boyfriends etc etc Little boys and girls know they are little boys and girls before they are teenagers. You can tell a class of 5 year olds to stand in 2 groups, boys and girls and they'll know where they fit. What people are saying is that from this early age where someone tells you what the words girl and boy mean, they initially linked themselves with the one that may not have fit their "birth-sex" therefore, consider themselves transgender from an early age. I hope that makes sense
ARRRAAGGHHHHHH! So I've been invited over my big sisters tomorrow evening for a Christmas dinner thing and I've been told 'not to dress girly because she doesn't want to have to try and explain it to her kid' I tried to say to her it'd be ok as kids are usually more accepting but she insisted it's 'her choice' like a kind of "respect my wishes" thing. I should've just told her to fuck right off and hang up the phone.
The kid is guaranteed not to give a shit.
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38946013]ARRRAAGGHHHHHH! So I've been invited over my big sisters tomorrow evening for a Christmas dinner thing and I've been told 'not to dress girly because she doesn't want to have to try and explain it to her kid' I tried to say to her it'd be ok as kids are usually more accepting but she insisted it's 'her choice' like a kind of "respect my wishes" thing. I should've just told her to fuck right off and hang up the phone.[/QUOTE] Tell her she needs to respect your wishes as well. If she can't be bothered to explain for 10 seconds then you could do it yourself. I say show up the way you want to.
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38946013]ARRRAAGGHHHHHH! So I've been invited over my big sisters tomorrow evening for a Christmas dinner thing and I've been told 'not to dress girly because she doesn't want to have to try and explain it to her kid' I tried to say to her it'd be ok as kids are usually more accepting but she insisted it's 'her choice' like a kind of "respect my wishes" thing. I should've just told her to fuck right off and hang up the phone.[/QUOTE] If my sister tried something like me she knows for a fact I'd specifically dress girly because of that. But then I get along rather well with my sis and she actually thinks it's kinda cool that I'm trans too. (Cool in the way of "oh, a new sister" I mean. She always wanted a sister when growing up coincidentally. :v:)
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;38946183]Tell her she needs to respect your wishes as well. If she can't be bothered to explain for 10 seconds then you could do it yourself. I say show up the way you want to.[/QUOTE] Host's rules. If you are unhappy to abide by them then you don't attend.
[QUOTE=Onyx3173;38946657]If my sister tried something like me she knows for a fact I'd specifically dress girly because of that. But then I get along rather well with my sis and she actually thinks it's kinda cool that I'm trans too. (Cool in the way of "oh, a new sister" I mean. She always wanted a sister when growing up coincidentally. :v:)[/QUOTE] I'm very likely to wear my long white skirt. I need to get a black one soon.
[QUOTE=Ereunity;38946663]Host's rules. If you are unhappy to abide by them then you don't attend.[/QUOTE] There's a point where those rules are out of line. "Hey, don't be yourself. I don't feel like putting out any effort by allowing it."
Im a girl :3333333333 EDIT: Whats with theese homophobic christian boys rating me boxes?
[QUOTE=alien_guy;38946182]The kid is guaranteed not to give a shit.[/QUOTE] I can confirm this. Went to a Christmas party all dressed up with a couple relatives and their kids and the kids didn't mind me at all.
[QUOTE=Onyx3173;38946692]There's a point where those rules are out of line. "Hey, don't be yourself. I don't feel like putting out any effort by allowing it."[/QUOTE] No. It is their home, and they are inviting you into it, it is courtesy that you respect their rules. If you do not want to abide by their rules then you simply pass over the invitation. All she has asked is for her to not dress girly, this isn't some massively offensive thing, wearing clothes is not going to ruin your life for a couple of hours at a family event.
[QUOTE=Ereunity;38950116]No. It is their home, and they are inviting you into it, it is courtesy that you respect their rules. If you do not want to abide by their rules then you simply pass over the invitation. All she has asked is for her to not dress girly, this isn't some massively offensive thing, wearing clothes is not going to ruin your life for a couple of hours at a family event.[/QUOTE] but she can still expect her sister to teach her child that people are different and her aunt is someone who was a little confused at one point and is now the way she is. I agree with you that you should dress girly because she asked politely, she's still going to have to tell her child one day and it would be better as a child rather than an adult.
[QUOTE=Ereunity;38950116]No. It is their home, and they are inviting you into it, it is courtesy that you respect their rules. If you do not want to abide by their rules then you simply pass over the invitation. All she has asked is for her to not dress girly, this isn't some massively offensive thing, wearing clothes is not going to ruin your life for a couple of hours at a family event.[/QUOTE] Its still fucking stupid. Its like "you are not allowed to breathe in our home" For some of us, being a boy is a really painful, unbearable thing. if someone disallowed me from breathing or going to the toilet when i was over there i would either not go, or just take a shit anyway.
[QUOTE=Alcoholocaust;38951035]if someone disallowed me from breathing or going to the toilet when i was over there i would either not go, or just take a shit anyway.[/QUOTE] ??
[QUOTE=Ereunity;38950116]No. It is their home, and they are inviting you into it, it is courtesy that you respect their rules. If you do not want to abide by their rules then you simply pass over the invitation. All she has asked is for her to not dress girly, this isn't some massively offensive thing, wearing clothes is not going to ruin your life for a couple of hours at a family event.[/QUOTE] Lol, no. If her sister is allowing others to wear girly clothes then there is literally NO valid reason to say darkmakozou isn't allowed to. That's flat out discrimination. At that point their request is completely and entirely invalid.
[QUOTE=Onyx3173;38952317]Lol, no. If her sister is allowing others to wear girly clothes then there is literally NO valid reason to say darkmakozou isn't allowed to. That's flat out discrimination. At that point their request is completely and entirely invalid.[/QUOTE] Blah blah blah yes they are being terribly stupid and unaccepting and inflexible That is entirely irrelevant however, the best course of action is to be respectful and not attend altogether.
That's what I would do. But that doesn't change the fact that Ereunity is completely wrong.
[QUOTE=Onyx3173;38952317]Lol, no. If her sister is allowing others to wear girly clothes then there is literally NO valid reason to say darkmakozou isn't allowed to. That's flat out discrimination. At that point their request is completely and entirely invalid.[/QUOTE] Well let me present this to you from the host's point of view. My best friend is an atheist. My family and I are not. Am I going to TELL my family that my friend is an atheist? No. It's not worth the trouble and I don't know how the resulting conversation is going to turn out; my mom is annoying as hell. So out of pure avoidance of a possible conundrum, I am going to forgo telling my family about something that doesn't even really matter. My dad would be pretty chill about it; he has some old friends who are atheist, but I just don't want to waste more time arguing with my mother than I already do on a daily basis. If my friend were to come over right now for a visit I would most definitely ask him to keep quiet about his beliefs. Likewise, the host probably doesn't want to go through the process of explaining sexuality and the like to her kid until s/he reaches a more mature age and can actually understand the implications of it and take it to heart.
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38953132]Well let me present this to you from the host's point of view. My best friend is an atheist. My family and I are not. Am I going to TELL my family that my friend is an atheist? No. It's not worth the trouble and I don't know how the resulting conversation is going to turn out; my mom is annoying as hell. So out of pure avoidance of a possible conundrum, I am going to forgo telling my family about something that doesn't even really matter. My dad would be pretty chill about it; he has some old friends who are atheist, but I just don't want to waste more time arguing with my mother than I already do on a daily basis. If my friend were to come over right now for a visit I would most definitely ask him to keep quiet about his beliefs. Likewise, the host probably doesn't want to go through the process of explaining sexuality and the like to her kid until s/he reaches a more mature age and can actually understand the implications of it and take it to heart.[/QUOTE] How is your religious beliefs visible from the outside? There's a big difference between being a dick about your religious beliefs, and telling someone "You can't be how you truly are because I don't want to take the time to explain things." Kids are usually MORE understanding of this shit when they don't have years of bigotry pushed into them like adults. I mean really, the kids in my family accepted it at "*name* is a girl now." "Sexuality" has nothing to do with anything in explaining it. [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Rammlied;38952356]Blah blah blah yes they are being terribly stupid and unaccepting and inflexible That is entirely irrelevant however, the best course of action is to be respectful and not attend altogether.[/QUOTE] Yeah, this is probably the best thing you could do.
This is more or less the same shit as the public toilet deal, except in a private home. The slight encumbrance of having to (maybe, if they ask) explain to her child why she is wearing a dress does not justify discriminating towards her and telling her she's not accepted there for what she is. If she had any backbone she should've just asked her not to come, because that's really what it is.
[QUOTE=Blaberry;38953478]This is more or less the same shit as the public toilet deal, except in a private home. The slight encumbrance of having to (maybe, if they ask) explain to her child why she is wearing a dress does not justify discriminating towards her and telling her she's not accepted there for what she is. If she had any backbone she should've just asked her not to come, because that's really what it is.[/QUOTE] This explains it really well. I don't know why everything related to us in public has to be about cis people's "feelings" first over not harassing us.
Why are you guys magically assuming every child takes it well? And for that matter why are you guys suggesting she cause a scene by going dressed girly? It's one day in a year, she doesn't have to tell the child right now, and she doesn't have to cause tension or explain to the child than she is transgender. It's better to be polite and comply with the host's request and not cause a family argument/spoil christmas or to simply not attend if it offends you so. It's not a massive discriminating request, you just need to take the stick out of your asses. Children don't magically turn into an adult overnight. There will be other days if you insist on telling them while they are a child. [QUOTE=Onyx3173;38952317]Lol, no. If her sister is allowing others to wear girly clothes then there is literally NO valid reason to say darkmakozou isn't allowed to. That's flat out discrimination. At that point their request is completely and entirely invalid.[/QUOTE] At this point the host can simply refuse her entry to the property, perhaps causing an argument, upsetting family members. The request is not invalid, it's simply asking her to wear a few 'boyish' clothes for a couple hours. I'm pretty sure she's worn male clothing for a good 16+ years of her life,[I] a single day isn't going to make a damn bit of difference.[/I]
Even though it might not be fair it still is the way it is. You can't expect to walk into someones private place and give them orders about how they want things to be. It is their place after all, you decide if you want to skip it or meet the demands.
I'm going to precede this that both sides of this discussion are right in their own right. But the fact of the matter is is that it should be a non-issue for the family. The host can take five minutes out of her day to explain to her kid that their aunt is an aunt now and not an uncle. They don't need to make some hubbub about "well I don't want to deal with it, so just don't dress girly". That's just bad parenting. And you know, if she doesn't want to explain it in great detail, she could easily say "well ask aunt Darkmazou when she gets here". [QUOTE=Ereunity;38953626]It's better to be polite and comply with the host's request and not cause a family argument/spoil christmas or to simply not attend if it offends you so.[/quote] How is her dressing girly going to cause an argument or spoil christmas? If it's only her sister not wanting to talk to her kid(s), then Darkmazou can do that herself. It's not going to cause some huge hubbub unless there's other people that get their panties in a twist over something so menial. Let Darkmazou be who she is, and if someone asks, then explain. It's not that hard. [quote]It's not a massive discriminating request, you just need to take the stick out of your asses. Children don't magically turn into an adult overnight. There will be other days if you insist on telling them while they are a child.[/quote] And the host can also get the stick out of her ass. It should seriously be a non-issue. [quote]At this point the host can simply refuse her entry to the property, perhaps causing an argument, upsetting family members. The request is not invalid, it's simply asking her to wear a few 'boyish' clothes for a couple hours. I'm pretty sure she's worn male clothing for a good 16+ years of her life,[I] a single day isn't going to make a damn bit of difference.[/I][/QUOTE] And at that point it's on the host for creating an issue where there should be none. And the way I see it, yes, it is an invalid request. She's been wearing male clothes for 16+ years, and she's doing everything she can to wear the right clothes, 1 day can in fact be stressful. It's all a reminder that the past 16 years had been utter hell. Not everyone thinks nor feels nor deals with issues the same way you do. Not everyone can be so laid back. Some people are more sensitive. Also, it seems like you guys are making this out to be if she shows up in girly clothes it's some huge legal thing that's going to make it come down to calling the cops for Dark trespassing on her sister's property or some shit. Also, I feel this is relevant and pretty accurately describes my stance and point of view. [img]http://i.imgur.com/wEHkh.png[/img]
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38946013] I should've just told her to fuck right off and hang up the phone.[/QUOTE] That's the christmas spirit!
Its both being a bitch and bad parenting.
Maybe I just don't understand cause I'm not trans (so please excuse my possible ignorance and don't get mad at me :x) But why should clothes define gender? You know you're a girl, you can still behave like one. Hell if my family asked me to wear "guy" clothes (for some reason :v:) for a day/evening or whatever I wouldn't really care, I'm still okay knowing who/what I am and would just respect their wishes or not attend. It isn't like they're asking me to wear clothes that are dirty or ripped or such :o Just my opinion, of course. [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] However if I was slightly uncomfortable, I would mention it to them beforehand. If they tried to make me do it again, I would flat out not attend the next time.
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