• Crossdressing/Transgender Megathread v. Socks are both a running gag and mandatory
    4,760 replies, posted
Once I come out to my dad, I decided when my therapist appoint comes around I'm going to go dressed up. I just now need nice shoes, pants, a purse, and some make-up.
I'm at my xmasfamilyparty here is everyone and nobody cares that I'm trans because I never made a big deal about it.
[QUOTE='Rain [Amber];38955576']Maybe I just don't understand cause I'm not trans (so please excuse my possible ignorance and don't get mad at me :x) But why should clothes define gender? You know you're a girl, you can still behave like one. Hell if my family asked me to wear "guy" clothes (for some reason :v:) for a day/evening or whatever I wouldn't really care, I'm still okay knowing who/what I am and would just respect their wishes or not attend. It isn't like they're asking me to wear clothes that are dirty or ripped or such :o Just my opinion, of course. [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] However if I was slightly uncomfortable, I would mention it to them beforehand. If they tried to make me do it again, I would flat out not attend the next time.[/QUOTE] Clothing doesn't define gender but to A LOT of cis people it seems to indicate your gender. The clothing is important because otherwise MISGENDERING AHOY. [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=T-Sonar.0;38955728]Once I come out to my dad, I decided when my therapist appoint comes around I'm going to go dressed up. I just now need nice shoes, pants, a purse, and some make-up.[/QUOTE] Proud of you girl. c: [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Ereunity;38953626]Why are you guys magically assuming every child takes it well? And for that matter why are you guys suggesting she cause a scene by going dressed girly? It's one day in a year, she doesn't have to tell the child right now, and she doesn't have to cause tension or explain to the child than she is transgender. It's better to be polite and comply with the host's request and not cause a family argument/spoil christmas or to simply not attend if it offends you so. It's not a massive discriminating request, you just need to take the stick out of your asses. Children don't magically turn into an adult overnight. There will be other days if you insist on telling them while they are a child. At this point the host can simply refuse her entry to the property, perhaps causing an argument, upsetting family members. The request is not invalid, it's simply asking her to wear a few 'boyish' clothes for a couple hours. I'm pretty sure she's worn male clothing for a good 16+ years of her life,[I] a single day isn't going to make a damn bit of difference.[/I][/QUOTE] Candy, erm, biodude is right on this, and I really don't see why she has to invalidate her gender expression just because the host [b]MIGHT[/b] have to explain something to her kid later.
[QUOTE=Alcoholocaust;38951035]Its still fucking stupid. Its like "you are not allowed to breathe in our home" For some of us, being a boy is a really painful, unbearable thing. if someone disallowed me from breathing or going to the toilet when i was over there i would either not go, or just take a shit anyway.[/QUOTE] Doing a function that is required to survive != doing something that makes you more comfortable with yourself
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38953132]Well let me present this to you from the host's point of view. My best friend is an atheist. My family and I are not. Am I going to TELL my family that my friend is an atheist? No. It's not worth the trouble and I don't know how the resulting conversation is going to turn out; my mom is annoying as hell. So out of pure avoidance of a possible conundrum, I am going to forgo telling my family about something that doesn't even really matter. My dad would be pretty chill about it; he has some old friends who are atheist, but I just don't want to waste more time arguing with my mother than I already do on a daily basis. If my friend were to come over right now for a visit I would most definitely ask him to keep quiet about his beliefs. Likewise, the host probably doesn't want to go through the process of explaining sexuality and the like to her kid until s/he reaches a more mature age and can actually understand the implications of it and take it to heart.[/QUOTE] except atheism is a choice, love.
Thanks all for your thoughts on the matter. I understand both sides of the argument and I don't want to make everyone feel awkward. I'm here now and I can't say I feel very comfortable. They made it perfectly clear they will not acknowledge my new name or what I am. If it was just a case of dress I could understand to a small degree, tho I would find it hard to comply due to my throwing away all my boy/boyish clothing. I dunno, I didn't want to cause conflict, but I don't want to be sitting here being made to feel ashamed of who I am. I can't just do 'boy mode' that part of me doesn't exist. I just want to get out of here.
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38958336]Thanks all for your thoughts on the matter. I understand both sides of the argument and I don't want to make everyone feel awkward. I'm here now and I can't say I feel very comfortable. They made it perfectly clear they will not acknowledge my new name or what I am. If it was just a case of dress I could understand to a small degree, tho I would find it hard to comply due to my throwing away all my boy/boyish clothing. I dunno, I didn't want to cause conflict, but I don't want to be sitting here being made to feel ashamed of who I am. I can't just do 'boy mode' that part of me doesn't exist. I just want to get out of here.[/QUOTE] Aw :c tbh if I was you I'd just leave and spend time with people who actually understand and acknowledge who you really are.
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38958336]Thanks all for your thoughts on the matter. I understand both sides of the argument and I don't want to make everyone feel awkward. I'm here now and I can't say I feel very comfortable. They made it perfectly clear they will not acknowledge my new name or what I am. If it was just a case of dress I could understand to a small degree, tho I would find it hard to comply due to my throwing away all my boy/boyish clothing. I dunno, I didn't want to cause conflict, but I don't want to be sitting here being made to feel ashamed of who I am. I can't just do 'boy mode' that part of me doesn't exist. I just want to get out of here.[/QUOTE] *hugs* Sorry you have to go through that :c
[QUOTE=Roger Waters;38958250]except atheism is a choice, love.[/QUOTE] Is stuff like that properly classified as a choice? I never got that. Like, you can't choose what you believe in o3o
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38958336]Thanks all for your thoughts on the matter. I understand both sides of the argument and I don't want to make everyone feel awkward. I'm here now and I can't say I feel very comfortable. They made it perfectly clear they will not acknowledge my new name or what I am. If it was just a case of dress I could understand to a small degree, tho I would find it hard to comply due to my throwing away all my boy/boyish clothing. I dunno, I didn't want to cause conflict, but I don't want to be sitting here being made to feel ashamed of who I am. I can't just do 'boy mode' that part of me doesn't exist. I just want to get out of here.[/QUOTE] Sounds rough. I don't think anyone should have to be put through that feeling. I think you should leave. You don't have to put up with that kind of treatment. Even if it is from your family. Pull your sister to the side and tell her your feelings. Family should always accept their member's ways of life, and it doesn't seem yours does. You don't need to do this to yourself. in lack of better words, man up. You need to be who you want to be, and you shouldn't have to lower your sense of self worth just because other people will be uncomfortable, and won't know how to talk about it. the longer you spend around your family as yourself, the more they'll get used to it and eventually they'll just accept it and realize that it doesn't affect them and their way of life at all. don't degrade yourself because you don't want to make a scene. making a scene is the only way to gain the acceptance of your peers. don't let your feelings fester and boil inside you, because it will only hurt your relationship with your family. It's nice that you respect your host's wishes and all, but if your hosts wishes don't respect you, then that's not being a good host.
[QUOTE='Rain [Amber];38958732']Is stuff like that properly classified as a choice? I never got that. Like, you can't choose what you believe in o3o[/QUOTE] if anything, belief is one of few things we probably have a 100% definite choice in.
[QUOTE=Roger Waters;38959220]if anything, belief is one of few things we probably have a 100% definite choice in.[/QUOTE] While it is a choice, one can't really say that it is 100% definite, because according to new research- *long boring biology lecture* -...so all in all; while ones religiosity is a choice, there is also a genetical factor involved that gives you more or less of a tendency towards religious beliefs. So it is mostly choice but also a bit of biology involved! [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] Now that I think of it, this didn't really add anything to the discussion. Kinda related: I've decided that I'll study biology in the university.
[QUOTE=Herr Sven;38959467]While it is a choice, one can't really say that it is 100% definite, because according to new research- *long boring biology lecture* -...so all in all; while ones religiosity is a choice, there is also a genetical factor involved that gives you more or less of a tendency towards religious beliefs. So it is mostly choice but also a bit of biology involved! [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] Now that I think of it, this didn't really add anything to the discussion. Kinda related: I've decided that I'll study biology in the university.[/QUOTE] I don't think there's really anything genetically for religion other than perhaps a disposition or... I can't think of the right word, but more "gullible" or "susceptible" towards being influenced into believing. I think most of it is going to be in the way you're raised. If you're raised religious, you're likely to continue being religious.
[QUOTE=Rammlied;38958134]Doing a function that is required to survive != doing something that makes you more comfortable with yourself[/QUOTE] Taking shits are quite only for making myself feel more comfortable. Theres always a shitter back at home.
[QUOTE=biodude94566;38959997]I don't think there's really anything genetically for religion other than perhaps a disposition or... I can't think of the right word, but more "gullible" or "susceptible" towards being influenced into believing. I think most of it is going to be in the way you're raised. If you're raised religious, you're likely to continue being religious.[/QUOTE] NOP NOP NOP First of all, I'm not "gullible" or "susceptible". Second of all I think it's more about HOW you are raised religiously than just being raised religious, because I've talked to a lot of my atheist friends who say they're atheist because they think religion is too "oppressive" or that its made to "control people" or some crap like that. Maybe the way they were presented with religion just made it seem unattractive to them. For me, however, religion was never really jammed down my throat, and the only real time my mom said I would "go to hell" is when I threatened to kill myself.
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38960655]NOP NOP NOP First of all, I'm not "gullible" or "susceptible". Second of all I think it's more about HOW you are raised religiously than just being raised religious, because I've talked to a lot of my atheist friends who say they're atheist because they think religion is too "oppressive" or that its made to "control people" or some crap like that. Maybe the way they were presented with religion just made it seem unattractive to them. For me, however, religion was never really jammed down my throat, and the only real time my mom said I would "go to hell" is when I threatened to kill myself.[/QUOTE] I never said you were gullible or susceptible? Nor did I say everyone is. I'm kind of thinking it's like people who have addictive personalities that turn to drugs and/or alcohol, but less of the drugs and alcohol and more of just believing what they're told. It could be a genetic predisposition. But again, I'm not saying anyone here specifically is. And just to make it clear, I'm no scientist or doctor of any sort. All I can really do is speak from my own experiences and knowledge.
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38958336]Thanks all for your thoughts on the matter. I understand both sides of the argument and I don't want to make everyone feel awkward. I'm here now and I can't say I feel very comfortable. They made it perfectly clear they will not acknowledge my new name or what I am. If it was just a case of dress I could understand to a small degree, tho I would find it hard to comply due to my throwing away all my boy/boyish clothing. I dunno, I didn't want to cause conflict, but I don't want to be sitting here being made to feel ashamed of who I am. I can't just do 'boy mode' that part of me doesn't exist. I just want to get out of here.[/QUOTE] So you are at this place and they are referring to you as you were before? They don't deserve your presence and honestly I would just leave or not respond to them if they called you by your birthname. Pardon my anger but quite frankly, fuck them.
Well I'm home now, I feel like a coward. I wish I had spoke my mind, but I just couldn't. I felt physically sick. I don't think I can face them again. At one hand I must be thankful for the Christmas food, it was really lovely. But I couldn't enjoy myself there at all. A stronger me would have got up and walked out, but I just didn't want to make a scene. I've just gotta cut my losses and leave, if they come out and accept me fine, otherwise this is my last Christmas with them. I dunno, I'm just anxious and shaky right now. Gotta get ready for the midnight service in an hour, that might be an interesting turn out. I'll feel better tomorrow.
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38961286]Well I'm home now, I feel like a coward. I wish I had spoke my mind, but I just couldn't. I felt physically sick. I don't think I can face them again. At one hand I must be thankful for the Christmas food, it was really lovely. But I couldn't enjoy myself there at all. A stronger me would have got up and walked out, but I just didn't want to make a scene. I've just gotta cut my losses and leave, if they come out and accept me fine, otherwise this is my last Christmas with them. I dunno, I'm just anxious and shaky right now. Gotta get ready for the midnight service in an hour, that might be an interesting turn out. I'll feel better tomorrow.[/QUOTE] Midnight service? [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] well, sorry to hear about that. If it really hurt you, next time you get invited, assert yourself.
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38961426]Midnight service? [editline]24th December 2012[/editline] well, sorry to hear about that. If it really hurt you, next time you get invited, assert yourself.[/QUOTE] Next time I get invited, I'll ask who they are inviting; Sam or Sarah. If it's Sam, then I'll hang up. And that'll be it. Edit: Midnight communion at my local CofE. I've gone for the last few years, and it's nice to catch up with old friends, but this will be the first time since I officially came out. So it might be interesting.
[QUOTE=darkmakozu;38961488]Next time I get invited, I'll ask who they are inviting; Sam or Sarah. If it's Sam, then I'll hang up. And that'll be it. Edit: Midnight communion at my local CofE. I've gone for the last few years, and it's nice to catch up with old friends, but this will be the first time since I officially came out. So it might be interesting.[/QUOTE] Is it religious or something or is it just a secular event
So I am stuck in a train station for 4 hours. HALP. On an posthumous unrelated note, Darkmazoku, you should have disregarded her sentiment. Such requests from a host are only proper if the habit or problem of the guest when left unsuppressed would cause a major disruption. Ie her request would have only made sense if the Pope had attended that dinner, or if you were at FOX news
[QUOTE=Aircraft;38961555]So I am stuck in a train station for 4 hours. HALP. On an posthumous unrelated note, Darkmazoku, you should have disregarded her sentiment. Such requests from a host are only proper if the habit or problem of the guest when left unsuppressed would cause a major disruption. Ie her request would have only made sense if the Pope had attended that dinner, or if you were at FOX news[/QUOTE] Wich in she shouldnt have heeded anyway because both are fucking big idiotic bigots.
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38961535]Is it religious or something or is it just a secular event[/QUOTE] It's a religious thing to celebrate the birth of Christ on Christmas Evening.
And that generalization of bigotry is gained from only that one statement she made. It is entirely possible it was a slip of the tongue, badly worded, or just inconsiderate. (Playing the diner's avocado is pretty difficult)
[QUOTE=Ereunity;38961602]It's a religious thing to celebrate the birth of Christ on Christmas Evening.[/QUOTE] I dunno, I was just a little curious given that the majority of Facepunch is atheist.
Wasn't Christ really born in like June or July?
[QUOTE=Reshy;38962541]Wasn't Christ really born in like June or July?[/QUOTE] does it matter?
Correcting pseudo-history never not matters.
I was just thinking I wanted to try and be a bit more feminine and today I received eyeliner and perfume :'3
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