[QUOTE]"Good evening FP, here's a little something of my own. I've already confessed this to 4chan, hence the way it is written, but here you go anyway:
~~~
I need help. I know the title may lead you to believe this is just another typical ex problem, but it's probably different to what you'd expect so I'd appreciate some serious advice.
Basically, I'm addicted to stalking my ex online. I use the word addiction because I hate it, it's a severely unhealthy habit, and I find it difficult to refrain from doing so. I feel so ashamed that I'm yet to admit this to anyone, hell I've written this thread out completely and backspaced all of it a few times now.
I login to her accounts and sit there reading her conversations. I don't even understand the real motive for doing it. Sometimes it feels like it's the only way to still have her in my life. Perhaps I miss her more than I'm willing to admit and want to find out if she misses me as well. Perhaps I feel like it's the only way to know how she's feeling and if she's doing alright. Maybe I'm giving in to my somewhat sadomasochistic tendencies and enjoy finding out shit that I don't want to. It's most likely a combination of all of these things and maybe others.
Whatever the reason is though, I need it to fucking stop. I hate it, I feel like another side of me forces me to login. Sometimes I wake up to myself and log out, close the browser and vow never to do it again, but I always end up in the same place.
I need help. Am I the only one like this? If there's others, what did you do to stop, or did it ever stop?
I know how wrong this is. Tell me what you think I already know, hearing it from someone else is bound to help me.
I just want it to be over.
~~~
On a positive note, this has since stopped. I confessed to her and she changed all of her passwords. Surprisingly, we remained friends afterwards and she has forgiven me.
Just thought I'd share it since I stumbled upon the notepad doc I had of this and remembered this thread."[/QUOTE] An ex-stalker! Some of these confessions could learn a thing or two!
[QUOTE]Hi FP. I'm writing this to mostly vent, and I guess to ask for some advice. I'll give you two confessions, one serious and one not-so-serious.
First the not so serious. Once when I was pretty young, I think in first grade, I went into the bathroom to pee and found this huge, retarded kid pooping in the urinals. I started to gag from the smell and asked him what he was doing but he just stared me down and kept shitting like a train. The stench and sight was so rancid it made me throw up all over the bathroom floor (this was right after lunch) and I ran away. Later he got in trouble when someone else found him and they thought he was the one who threw up too. He got taken home crying and I don't think he was ever at school again.
Now for the serious one. Something pretty crazy happened yesterday and I'm not sure how to deal with it.
Around ten years ago, my dad just vanished without a trace one day, leaving my mom, brother, and I alone. We didn't have any money and had to move in with my aunt for a few years until we could recover. No one could find my dad, not even his parents, so I don't know where he's been or what he's been doing. But yesterday, we got a letter from him asking us to come see him and maybe give him a place to stay. Now my mom says she forgave him a long time ago, but I don't think any of us can trust the guy. He just up and left us one day and we haven't heard from him until now. He wants to talk to my brother and I through email to get back in touch and "make amends" but I (maybe my brother too, not sure) hate the guy and was perfectly fine without him being around. I want nothing to do with him, but at the same time I have so many questions I'm tempted just slightly to get in touch. I really never want to see him or hear from him ever again, but I'm afraid my mom will decide we should meet him and hear what he has to say. I really have no idea what to do, OP. [/QUOTE] Talk to your Dad. Hear his stories, then you can judge him.
[QUOTE]I've known my girlfriend since 8th grade and we've been inseperable after the initial awkwardness since I'm usually a Lone Wolf, but not nearly as badass as it sounds. Usually people say I'm an asshole because of my rather negative attitude, my ability to change topics like a world champion (tool of many mindfucks) and that I tend to lash out when aggravated sufficiently.
Yet everytime I'm with my girlfriend, it's like I'm a different person, except I'm not. Sometimes I feel like the giant asshole everyone says I am, when I'm thinking back to some things I've done, I'm starting to question whether or not I really deserve her yet at the same time, I feel like most underappreciated person on the planet and that I deserve more. I've already been in therapy several times and seen a psychiatrist but neither seem to hit the one magic psychological spot and this kindof drops me into a state where I go into a deeply rooted session of doubt and hopelessness despite knowing of the senselessness of it all.
Am I just being a selfish, aggressive, underappreciative asshole in denial or am I actually sick?
Here's some other stuff that's bothering me:
- I've wrecked my neighbour's car because he threw dead birds at my window.
- When some douchebag in school shoved his food tray into my face, I stabbed him in the gut with a spoon.
- I jizzed into my late hamster's feeding bowl.
- I love locking my sister into my room and force her to listen to creepy numbers stations.
- I haven't laughed a single time during this week.
Thanks for reading this, means quite a lot to me.[/QUOTE] That's actually scary. Quite scary.
[QUOTE]I pee while sitting down. It's true, and I don't regret any of it[/QUOTE]
Sissyman.
[quote]I've known my girlfriend since 8th grade and we've been inseperable after the initial awkwardness since I'm usually a Lone Wolf, but not nearly as badass as it sounds. Usually people say I'm an asshole because of my rather negative attitude, my ability to change topics like a world champion (tool of many mindfucks) and that I tend to lash out when aggravated sufficiently.
Yet everytime I'm with my girlfriend, it's like I'm a different person, except I'm not. Sometimes I feel like the giant asshole everyone says I am, when I'm thinking back to some things I've done, I'm starting to question whether or not I really deserve her yet at the same time, I feel like most underappreciated person on the planet and that I deserve more. I've already been in therapy several times and seen a psychiatrist but neither seem to hit the one magic psychological spot and this kindof drops me into a state where I go into a deeply rooted session of doubt and hopelessness despite knowing of the senselessness of it all.
Am I just being a selfish, aggressive, underappreciative asshole in denial or am I actually sick?
Here's some other stuff that's bothering me:
- I've wrecked my neighbour's car because he threw dead birds at my window.
- When some douchebag in school shoved his food tray into my face, I stabbed him in the gut with a spoon.
- I jizzed into my late hamster's feeding bowl.
- I love locking my sister into my room and force her to listen to creepy numbers stations.
- I haven't laughed a single time during this week.
Thanks for reading this, means quite a lot to me.[/quote]This person has [b]massive[/b] issues
[QUOTE]I haven't laughed a single time during this week.[/QUOTE]
Then read what you just wrote.
[quote]- I jizzed into my late hamster's feeding bowl.[/quote]
wat? o-o
facepunch is starting to seem more like tvtropes with these threads
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrE8VEphVHs&feature=channel_video_title[/media]
[QUOTE=Hans-Gunther 3.;32649200]wat? o-o[/QUOTE]
Death by jizz, I expect.
[quote] - When some douchebag in school shoved his food tray into my face, I stabbed him in the gut with a spoon. [/quote]
What kind of crazy sharp spoons do they give this guy at school
[QUOTE=Lebowski;32649221]facepunch is starting to seem more like tvtropes with these threads
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrE8VEphVHs&feature=channel_video_title[/media][/QUOTE]
After watching that I had to watch some of the other videos.
And I thought the people from FP were bad.
[QUOTE=sam2d2;32650118]What kind of crazy sharp spoons do they give this guy at school[/QUOTE]
Dunno, reminds me of "Murder in the First" though, one of the main characters stabbed someone in the neck with the back end of his spoon.
[quote][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrE8VEphVHs&feature=channel_video_title[/media][/quote]
*spits out coke and laughs hysterically*
[QUOTE=Lebowski;32649221]facepunch is starting to seem more like tvtropes with these threads
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrE8VEphVHs&feature=channel_video_title[/media][/QUOTE]
Thanks, youtube. Don't show it in my subscription box EVEN THOUGH I'm subscribed to him.
[editline]6th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=sam2d2;32650118]What kind of crazy sharp spoons do they give this guy at school[/QUOTE]
Only takes like, ten minutes to use an edge to sharpen a plastic spoon enough to hurt someone.
[QUOTE=sam2d2;32650118]What kind of crazy sharp spoons do they give this guy at school[/QUOTE]
Maybe it was a spork
[QUOTE=Lebowski;32649221]facepunch is starting to seem more like tvtropes with these threads
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrE8VEphVHs&feature=channel_video_title[/media][/QUOTE]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea7h1ghAqtw&feature=related[/media]
Sorry everyone, I got behind on my posting, here is some more quality posts.
[QUOTE]Facepunch seems to love sex stories, so have one that I don't even think is that big of a deal, but people always have a coronary when I tell them it.
Two years ago when I was still in high school I was walking in the village near my house. My rule about the village is that nothing good ever happens in the village, but I was bored as hell and figured something stupid was better than nothing. As I walked by the library and these two girls pop up out of nowhere and decide they are going to follow me around. One of them was wolf ugly, no amount of alcohol ever could get my dick near her. The other had a baggy hoodie on and sweatpants and a bitchload of acne. They were both two grades below me, but I am one of the youngest kids for my class so the age difference was about a year. They are both pretty annoying so I act uninterested in them and in girl logic that means try even harder to get at me. It got to be too much high school girl crap so I called for an evac and dove into the truck as we drove out.
As I feared, they messaged the shit out of me on Facebook and start constantly talking to me when I was online. The girl with acne was actually being pretty cool so I kept talking to her and tried to subtly imply to the other that she is a whore and should fuck off (That didn't work so I finally had to tell her she was the origin of herpes and her face is the reason there is evil in the world). In the next week or two, I texted with the acne girl some but was still not really interested in her very much. Until she sent me some nude photos and I realized below the acne was some pretty damn good body. One night I was on my computer playing some TF2 and she said she wanted to go hang out. It was 1 in the morning and nobody was awake so I was a bit suspicious of her intentions, but she lives a good five miles from me, I had no car at the time and I was happy in my TF2 playing so I jokingly told her if she felt like walking all the way to my house that I would go hang with her.
Two hours later she calls asking where I am. She just walked all that time so I couldn't just say "lol jk I'm not going out there" and she clearly wanted something from me so I snuck out the back door and walked her down to the graveyard near my house. We talked for a bit and just sat by the road. It was all pretty chill until she crawled onto my lap and started making out with me. I went along with it and picked her up and took her to one of the bigger tombstones that had a nice big flat surface and laid her down (brotip: chicks love when you pick them up and make out with them in the air.) She slides down my pants and we get rolling. Overall I must say the sex was better than expected. We finish up and she lays for a bit cooling down while I wonder if any of the eight or nine cars that drove right by us called the cops since we were trespassing and being generally creepy by fornicating on a tombstone. Once she cooled down she got up, dressed herself than started crying because I guess she had a boyfriend and [url=http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/jackie(8).jpg]I just made her cheat on him[/url]. She then ran off and never talked to me again and denied ever doing anything. Not bad for a Friday that would have otherwise been TF2 filled. Sort of wish she wasn't crazy and wanted to hang out again. Sex was p good yo.
I told my lunch table about it the next Monday and they thought it was the most scandalous thing in the history of the universe and I gained the name graveyard boy for a month or two. I thought they were jsut being weird until I told other less dramatic people and they did the same thing. Is it really that big of a deal to do work in a graveyard?[/QUOTE] Yes, making life in a place with lack of life is just weird. Also, pics or it didn't happen.
[QUOTE]I'm hugely into public nudity and public sex.
There's just this rush from the chance of being caught, and if it's a cool, breezy day, it's just feels fucking AWESOME
One of my fantasies is to fuck someone without even hiding, just right there for everyone to see.[/QUOTE] Pics if it happens.
[QUOTE]My friend died of type two diabetes in 2009. We were friends for at least 8 years of my life, and then moved away to never speak to him again. When I went to his funeral, I didn't cry. I don't know why. He was a humongous part of my life, but I didn't cry. Till this day it's impacting me with depression.[/QUOTE] You don't have to feel bad about not crying, tons of people have different reactions to death. Some laugh. It's a weird thing.
[QUOTE]Not sure why I'm sending this in. I guess maybe seeing peoples failed attempts to cheer me up might contain a bit of smile-worthy stupidity.
Since I was born, I've had Type 1 Diabetes. Now my parents, being the neglecting dumbasses they are, thought that it was normal for baby girls to eat an adult sized meal that weighed twice as much as them. I was always a chubby baby, and I grew up to be a chubby kid. Eventually I found out that the diabetes was the cause of my hunger (along with other symptoms). I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle to manage the diabetes, but I've never been able to get rid of this weight. But still, when I got to school, some of the girls pitied me I guess, and became friends with me. I spent my whole life sitting next to these gorgeous, amazing women, watching them getting all the sexy guys while i just stood on the sidelines being jealous.
So school finished, and I stayed friends with these people. But I felt pretty lonely. The people in my dorm just kind of stayed away from me, so I spent all night surfing the net and all day studying. Alone. And one day it just got too much. Then on facebook, this guy, who had always been an acquaintance, said he was looking for a party. I knew he only talked to me because of my friends, so, without thinking, I told him that me and my room-mates were going to be drinking (they were, but at some club in town). He asked me a whole bunch of questions. I think he was scared, but I just lied my way through, twirling him into my web. He logs off and starts to head over, and I kick into action. Steal my roommates makeup, fancy dress, perfume, etc.
He finally arrives. He wasn't anything special, just a guy, not very good looking and kind of skinny, but he would do. I couldn't believe this was happening. I'd finally get a man all to myself. After years of crippling loneliness. This was happening. He walks in and asks where the girls are. I tell him they went to go buy some drinks. I lock the door behind him, and told him to sit on the couch. This would be where I'd take him as my own. I sit down right next to him.
And then I took him. I forced him down on the couch, holding his shoulders and sitting on his legs. He couldn't escape. I took the Viagra lying on the coffee table and forced it down his throat. It was like trying to put a flea collar on a cat that was getting its intestines pulled out of its ass. But I persisted. He screamed for help, yelled in fear (i think I head him say "not again"), but there was nothing he could do. I slowly felt his penis grow, grinding into my pelvis. And then...
You can guess what happened.
A month later, and I never told anybody. I don't think he did either. I don't feel guilty, or remorse. I finally had somebody for my own, just for the night. And it was amazing.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]I'm incredibly paranoid. For example, if I'm standing somewhere high I immediately think "I could fall to my death here", or if I see something like a nail sticking out of I wall I think "I could fall over and stab my eye on that"
On the twelfth is National Coming Out Day (even though it's an international event and supposed to be on the eleventh, go fucking figure) and it's really eating away at me; I end up extrapolating that coming out could lead to some judeo-christian traditionalist assaulting me. To this date, I've only come out to one person face-to-face, and that was under the effects of strong dental anaesthesia.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Time for another story since the other faggots sending shit in are boring. I did laugh heartily at the one where the kid got a girl pregnant at the pool, what a fucking dumbass. Totally deserved that for thinking with the head downstairs instead of the one upstairs. Don't be silly, wrap your willy. No pussy is worth the risk of going in bareback.
On to the story.
This is a story about one of the best weekends of my life. Almost got herpes, threw up from drinking for the first time ever, and almost ran a train on a 14 year old girl.
Freshman year was coming to close, so we had to do something big. We planned out this huge partying extravaganza that would run from Thursday to Saturday, each night gradually getting more intense with the finale on Saturday. Thursday night rolled around, we decided to just kick it in the dorms and get bombed playing King's Cup. Nothing like being crammed in a tiny room with 4 other dudes getting tanked off your asses. However, I had the bright idea to invite this girl I would occasionally talk to. Only reason why I invited her is because this girl was down, she didn't bitch about beer tasting gross or being in a room with a bunch of guys, she just didn't give a fuck. She also had really nice bewbies. Pretty awesome girl.
She comes over and we realize she's a super-lightweight drinker. 4 beers later, she's completely trashed. As in, falling out of her chair, gazongas falling out of her shirt, couldn't even stand on her own. By the time the night came to a close, we were all thoroughly trashed, but she definitely took the cake. I drew the short straw and was designated to be the one who walked her back to her dorm.
After an absolutely horrible walk back to her dorm (she collapsed like 5 times, I practically carried her half the way despite being inebriated), I go "Fuck walking back, I'm staying with you tonight." Partially because I wanted to stick my peepee in her, but mostly because the walk back was entirely uphill. Fuck that shit with a rake, that walk sucks even when I'm sober.
Something incredibly strange happened that night. I got up in bed with her, but when it came time to stick my dong in her, I couldn't do it. As in, it was out, I wanted to do it, but there was a force field keeping my dick from entering her vagoo. I layed there with the head of my johnson half an inch away from her vag with no fucking clue what was happening. Everything in my mind wanted to do her, it's not like I was thinking "I better not," or anything. Something beyond me was keeping me from copulating with this girl, to this day I simply cannot explain it.
A few minutes later, she gets bored waiting for me and falls asleep. I lay there with no idea what the fuck just happened, totally pissed at myself.
Friday night rolled around, was a party at a friend's apartment. Nothing really special happened, other than it was the first time I threw up from drinking. I don't get sick like that when I drink, so I purposely mixed all I could (wine, liquor, beer, etc) because I wanted to know what it felt like to throw up from drinking. It was horrible and I never plan on doing that again. Hardly remember most of the night.
Saturday was the special day. Woke up early (this was back when I never got hangovers), grabbed some supplies (including some from the previous night's apartment, which looked like ground zero since it was completely trashed and the owner was just sitting on his couch crying while we looted the place), and headed out to a friend's mansion out in the country. When we go big, we go fucking big. Got to the mansion early in the afternoon, set up for our huge ass party, got high as fuck and munched on Carl's Jr's, all the makings that would lead to an awesome night.
Night rolls around. Huge party is a go. Hot ladies everywhere, beer pong tournament, people kayaking in the pool (it had a jet system that would create a stream powerful enough for you to kayak in it and remain stationary), liquor everywhere, it was incredible. We even had some middle school kids show up out of fucking nowhere (seriously we had no idea how the fuck they found out about it) and we taught a 14 year old how to shotgun beers, proclaimed him a man, then helped him get laid. We were so proud. Also, the girl from Thursday was there.
About halfway through the night, the girl's roommate comes up to our group of guys as we were talking about how successful the party is and tells us she has some really important shit we need to hear. The look on her face was enough for us to give her our full undivided attention.
"Guys, nobody sleep with Angel."
At this point, nobody knew what happened between us on Thursday.
Inconspicuously as possible: Uhhhhh, why not?
"She has herpes."
Oh shit. Goosebumps everywhere.
My mind begins to run rampant trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. Is that why I couldn't put my penis in her? What the fuck stopped me? Was it luck? Something supernatural?
Then it clicks even more. My brother had passed away just a few months prior to this. I'm not a very religious person, but the only explanation that made any sense would be that he was there stopping me. My brother, despite probably being extremely grossed out, put his hand between my penis and herpes girl's vagina. He saved my life.
This was cause for binge drinking. You can't dodge a bullet that hard and not get hammered afterward. I tell all the guys what happened Thursday after we all find out the news, they trip balls and proclaim me to be the luckiest man in the entire world. We all drink some more and proceed to trash the mansion.
The next morning was like waking up in a warzone. Chairs at the bottom of the pool, kayak in the living room ruining the carpet, somebody asleep in a tree, beer cans everywhere, fridge is open and everything in it is spoiled, the friend who the mansion belong to just standing in the living room with an expressionless look on his face. It was like he was dead inside.
His 14 year old sister comes downstairs and starts cleaning up. However, she does it while being incredibly sexual with us. This girl would sit in front of us with her legs wide ass open and stroke the inside of her thighs while licking her lips. I exchanged looks with my friends, then sent them a text message that said "Let's run a train on her."
I get one back.
"We're going to jail, aren't we?"
From someone else.
"You only live once."
So we took her upstairs and ran a train on her.
Haha just kidding that'd be fucking crazy. We didn't run a train on her but we were somewhat considering it. I think it we were still drunk, we would have done it. Seriously, the girl was doing everything she could to ask for it without doing it verbally. She even invited us up to her room (and we went, lol), got on the bed and spread her legs while talking to us. We were amazed that a 14 year old girl could be such a hardcore slut.
Before we could form a solid consensus on running a train or not (there was 4 of us at the moment, 2 were yay and 2 were nay. I was a yay), one of the guys gets a text from the dude who lived there, who was downstairs trying to clean.
"Stop trying to run a train on my sister and get the fuck out of my house."
[/QUOTE] So close.
I'm getting sick of Maverick's fake-ass stories. He's trying too hard to show he's alpha as fuck.
Should have fucked her anyway IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.
[QUOTE=barttool;32658173]I'm getting sick of Maverick's fake-ass stories. He's trying too hard to show he's alpha as fuck.[/QUOTE]
Nobody liked him, or his advice, on Facepunch, so he tries to be funny when he should just kill himself
[QUOTE=Lebowski;32649221]facepunch is starting to seem more like tvtropes with these threads
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrE8VEphVHs&feature=channel_video_title[/media][/QUOTE]
of course what do my parents have to get my little sister for a surprise for being good OF COURSE IT'S THE CREEPY FUCKING FETISH DOG IN MY HOUSE UGH
OP, I don't like saying I sent one in but I've sent in a PM I don't think you've read. Sorry if you have and you didn't think it was worth posting.
[QUOTE=Quark:;32659849]Nobody liked him, or his advice, on Facepunch, so he tries to be funny when he should just kill himself[/QUOTE]
I liked him, he was a p cool guy and had good advice.
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;32660307]of course what do my parents have to get my little sister for a surprise for being good OF COURSE IT'S THE CREEPY FUCKING FETISH DOG IN MY HOUSE UGH[/QUOTE]
she's fucking it
send in a confessional when you find the strap-on on it kthnx
[QUOTE=Lebowski;32662777]she's fucking it
send in a [i]video[/i] when you find her, on the strap-on on it kthnx[/QUOTE]
Fixed it!
can you just stop posting his stories, they aren't worth even such a minimal amount of bandwidth
Whether it's obvious or not that they're his, they are anonymous for a reason so keep it that way.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;32666418]can you just stop posting his stories, they aren't worth even such a minimal amount of bandwidth[/QUOTE]
I don't know who you are talking about, its all anonymous, bro.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;32666418]can you just stop posting his stories, they aren't worth even such a minimal amount of bandwidth[/QUOTE]
Who cares, there hilarious.
Is another batch coming up soon?
[quote]I've known my girlfriend since 8th grade and we've been inseperable after the initial awkwardness since I'm usually a Lone Wolf, but not nearly as badass as it sounds. Usually people say I'm an asshole because of my rather negative attitude, my ability to change topics like a world champion (tool of many mindfucks) and that I tend to lash out when aggravated sufficiently.
Yet everytime I'm with my girlfriend, it's like I'm a different person, except I'm not. Sometimes I feel like the giant asshole everyone says I am, when I'm thinking back to some things I've done, I'm starting to question whether or not I really deserve her yet at the same time, I feel like most underappreciated person on the planet and that I deserve more. I've already been in therapy several times and seen a psychiatrist but neither seem to hit the one magic psychological spot and this kindof drops me into a state where I go into a deeply rooted session of doubt and hopelessness despite knowing of the senselessness of it all.
Am I just being a selfish, aggressive, underappreciative asshole in denial or am I actually sick?[/quote]
Whoa. That litrally applies to me completely, except the random bits underneath like jizzing into a hamster bowl. Thats good to know theres others who feel like I do. Whoever this is, PM me.
Anybody else notice accentuate was perm'd for being an alt of MaverickIB?
[quote]
Then it clicks even more. My brother had passed away just a few months prior to this. I'm not a very religious person, but the only explanation that made any sense would be that he was there stopping me. My brother, despite probably being extremely grossed out, put his hand between my penis and herpes girl's vagina. He saved my life.[/quote]
yes it is completely [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw4lnoX2hQc]logical[/url] that your dead brother was watching you about to have sex, came down from heaven, and put his hand on your dick
you know maybe your dead brother just has a thing for you
you were drunk as fuck guy who's dick couldn't find the vagina
it's possible to be so drunk that you can't get your dick in her like you're not able to get the key in the lock to get into your house when you go home with blue balls
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