Waiting for these confessions is like waiting for my ex to orgasm. Never know when its going to happen and it takes fucking ages.
[QUOTE=RAWRrrr;32878460]Waiting for these confessions is like waiting for my ex to orgasm. Never know when its going to happen and it takes fucking ages.[/QUOTE]
I thought you were going to say that they are like the confessions, because the only good ones are done by maverick;)
[QUOTE]I'll just start off by saying, sorry if this bores anyone. I don't really have too many interesting confessions I guess but meh.
- Ever since I was younger I was always shy around people, this included even my own family though not as greatly as with strangers. Surprisingly though, through out grade school I was able to make a few friends here and there because I was good at soccer and kids wanted me on their team during recess. However, as soon as I hit middle school reality hit me a bit and that bit of shyness slammed me in the face and turned into something a thousand times worse. The few friends that I had made back in grade school were zoned for a different middle school, so I was left to myself. I was always missing days. I probably racked up about 30-40 absences during the first year of middle school. My mom was always soft and I could easily ask her to stay home. Some days she was a bit tougher and I had to tell her I didn't feel good, and others I would pretend to miss my bus when I knew she wouldn't be able to take me to school. I even went as far to stay out in the woods during the school day and then come back and act like I had gone and everything. Middle school also introduced two things I wasn't used to and didn't care for at all. One- presentations and two- group projects. When we had to do group projects, I dreaded hearing the next sentence out of my teacher's mouth- "Find partners". Everytime this happened I just sat at my desk and pretended to be busy looking over the assignment. We had an odd number of students in the class so I couldn't be saved by a group being short and having to ask me to join and my teacher would always walk right by me. She saw I was alone but she never offered to help me find a group and it usually took all I had to not start crying at my desk. It was embarrassing and it made me feel downright pathetic. When it came to presentations, I wouldn't do them. The teacher would give us the assignment and I would go home and do the project, but I would just keep it in my closet afterwards. I did this because the first time we did presentations, I brought mine to school and tried to just hand it in. My teacher shook her head at me and told me I'd have to present it. I pointed out that the presentation was worth 20 points and that she could just deduct those but she wouldn't hear of it. Every time we had presentations I knew my grades would drop so I would try my hardest to make it up by doing great on tests and doing other homework. I loved learning and I loved the aspect of school- I just hated the people in it. I hated the people. I don't know if any of you on FP have social anxiety but it made that first year of school an absolute nightmare. All throughout the day my heart would pound and I would shake and feel nervous and sick- like I was about to throw up. It took a lot to get through the day without bursting into tears constantly. By 7th grade I was fed up with it. I started leaving fake suicide notes around the house where I knew my mom would find them. I also started cutting myself and punching concrete walls- anything to leave marks and scars on my arms and legs. I didn't 'like' pain I just wanted my mom to see them. She took notice and took me to a therapist and I outright lied and told him I wanted to die and that I would do it. I didn't want to take my life, I just wanted to get out of school. I know you guys are probably thinking 'hurr home school' but that wasn't an option for me. Anyway, I wound up landing into several different mental institutions because of that. I would get out and land myself right back in. By the time I was 15 I legally dropped out of school and spent most of my time locked in my room. I'm 21 now and to this day, I don't and haven't left the house. The farthest I go is the porch and that's it. I want to change, but at the same time I don't. I don't know who to go to about it. I feel too awkward to talk to my mom about it so I feel stuck.
- Because of ^ I have no friends. And I literally mean none. There's people out there that will say 'OMG LOL I HAVE NO FRIENDS' and then they'll text a couple people. If someone told me to send a message to a friend, I'd have not one single person, not even an acquaintance.
-When I was 16 I got the idea to stick a tampon up my butt while I masturbated. It felt really good. I stopped after my mom was confused about how she was going through so many though.
-When I was in 4th grade I went over to a friend's house when his parents weren't there to play some games. He went to the bathroom and while he was in there I looked around his house. His parents had a giant blow up beer can in their bedroom and I humped it for a few mins until I heard the bathroom door open and then I just pretended to be looking at his parents clock. I went to his house a few times after just to hump that beer can.
-A couple years ago I used to play WoW and I was DESPERATE for someone to love me. I made a girl blood elf and would talk to guys and pretend to be a girl by the name of Rebecca. I led a guy on for about 8 months and then just stopped talking to him because he kept wanting me to use mic/call him and it got to be too much of a hassle to lie about it most every day.
-I like the feeling of pulling hairs out from my butt. Not the hairs that are already there, but long hairs from me or my mom. I took a shower once and my butt itched and I scratched the crack and felt something- pulled on it and it turned out to be a hair. Just the feeling- I can't explain it. I really can't.
-If I get horny, I wait til later to eat so that I can ejaculate into my food. If I don't feel like waiting and I'm not in the mood at the time, I'll just do it into my drink. It doesn't really do anything to the taste besides make it a bit salty, I just like the thought of doing it.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Alrighty then. I'm currently in a foreign country, it's 12:28 AM and I can't sleep so I decided to waste a few minutes writing about my life in the form of a confession. If you're sick of the depressing stories that are on here: go read the next one down. I'm sure it's about somebody discovering their fetish for rainbow lorikeets during a family reunion or something. But if you find these types of stories interesting for whatever reason, please read on.
Okay, I'll start from the beginning. Some of the earliest memories I have involve shitting. I think I first discovered I had a problem with it when I shat my pants walking home from a nice 4 year old swim. I literally couldn't hold it in at all, it just came out of my ass. The second time this happened, I was in my garden. It started coming, and me being a stupid little kid, took a shit by a tree. The next thing I knew, my dog came running up to the new smell, and starting wolfing the thing down. I can't remember if it was out of disgust or concern, but I ran and told my parents about it. I got a talking to, but the dog was fine.
Next fucked up thing would have to be... hmm, I guess school. I had this friend, lets call him Jacob. We were best friends I'd say, but we had a weird relationship at times. Well, I was weird at times. I can't remember much, but I know that one time we were talking about how we both wondered what sex felt like (we were 7 at the time). I all of the sudden said "Why don't we see what it's like?" and started taking off my pants. He gave me a weird look and said that he thought it was a bad idea. I also shat my pants in his pool. Twice. There was some more weird sex stuff but I've forgotten or repressed those memories.
The other thing that stands out from my first school (grades 1-4) was the time I got in trouble for bullying. But woe is me, I never fucking bullied anybody. Apparently it was a bad idea to hang out with bullies. I was forced to write a letter of apology to the poor kid, but I had no idea what to write so I made shit up. This had a big impact on me socially. I became really quiet, really afraid I'd fuck up. And all through the process of getting a letter sent home to my parents about it, I never had the guts to stand up and say, "I didn't do anything."
Around about this time I discovered something that would affect my life in a way I didn't expect at the time. I still have no idea how it happened, if I was born with it or if I was injured, but somehow, my left breastplate has become... well it sticks out of my chest. I didn't think much of it at the time, it was weird but I was still okay, not hurting or anything. But this fucked me up. The rest of my entire life. I couldn't walk around shirtless, I couldn't hug people, I could never just pick up a girl at a bar, without somebody having to ask, "What the fuck is that?"
Right. Next school I went to just for Grade 5, and I was quite the loner. I had some friends, but I felt really disconnected, so I lied. I lied, oh god, so fucking much, about everything I could, I said I was in the band, I sold fake cover CDs, I said I had a girlfriend, I said we kissed, I said we had sex. I don't know how or why I came up with it all, but I did. Wow. I really, really don't know why I did it. Which makes the next thing fuck with my head even more.
There was this girl, lets call her Rosie. I had a crush on her. Now, nothing ever happened between me and her. But for some reason, I told my sister, and her friend (they were both 6) that I kissed her. I was 9 at the time. Fuck. They were 6. They were 6 fucking years old. And I kissed them. I "gave them kissing lessons." Fuck. My first kiss ever was with a 6 year old. It was an actual kiss, tongue and everything, with both of them. Fuck fuck fuck. My SISTER. I still can't get over it now. Afterwards, we all had dinner together, and I started crying. I don't know why. I was disgusted with myself I guess. Or just disappointed; everybody got first kisses with their loved ones, these special moments that they treasure forever. I had a smooch in a dark room with a fucking 6 YEAR OLD.
Ugh.
For the rest of my life I was always more distant from my sister. I wanted to be a good brother, and I was at times, but I could never get affectionate, never touch her or hug her as much as brothers and sisters should.
Grade 6-7, was pretty alright. The biggest thing that happened was reaching puberty I guess; I acted weird with my best friend. Asked him if he wanted to see my pubes, bragged about being able to ejaculate. Nothing too horrible that I can remember. Same with grade 8. Grade 9, I was 13, and I got to third base with my first girlfriend. She dumped me after 5 weeks, on my birthday. Started going out with some other douche, and that lasted months. We got back together the year after, in Grade 10, February the 4th. The relationship was good at first, but slowly got terrible and terrible, I became depressed from jealousy and just general teenage angst.
One night, I found out that she had cut herself. I couldn't stand this fact; I spent the next few days in silence, as I always did when I was upset. It was fucked up. I loved this girl. She was beautiful, funny, played WoW, sexy. I thought she was perfect, the one good thing in my life, and she sliced her wrists up. It was only once. It was long ago. But I couldn't take it. Of course, those feelings passed, and along came the next thing to fuck shit up. Another girl that loved me.
Of course, my girlfriend and this other girl were sluts. I would go with any girl that took me because of my disfigured chest. I think I'm over sluts now though; over girls and relationship altogether. Anyway, I cheated on my girlfriend with the other girl, but both the relationships were fucked up. With my girlfriend, I was becoming distant. With the other girl, she wanted me for herself but I couldn't give up my girlfriend. The thing with the girl slowly ended, and then my relationship with my girlfriend slowly withered to a halt. When it did, I was in hell. Luckily, so was she, and we got back together a day later. And THEN, shit got real.
I saw her arm, all these red scars runnning along her wrist. I freaked out. It felt like i was imploding into myself. She cut herself again, and I was the reason, I made her fucking do it. I fucked up the most perfect girl in the world, fuck. We kept going out, but I was depressed the whole way through. Then one night, I cut myself.
I don't remember why. That seems to be a reoccurring theme tonight: sorry if a lot of this goes unexplained, but it's even worse for me. But yes, I cut myself. I don't think I enjoyed the cutting, but I liked the gesture. It slowly became a habit, and then after a while I told my girlfriend, and my parents found out, etc. etc., shit hit the fan. I don't want to go into detail but my life fucked up. Girlfriend broke up with me.
Now I'm here in Europe on an exchange. Um. yeah. God I'm so far away from it all how did it manage to follow me here[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Well hi FacePunch.
I don't realy know where to start so I guess I'll start with this. This summer I worked as a dishwasher at a resturaunt and the chef would thaw things in the sink by me so I would pour bleach into these things and not tell anyone.
I'm held a loaded shotgun to my friends head once and would have killed him if I wouldnt have gotten in trouble for it.
I try to hit animals when I see them in the road and when I succeed I run them over a few times until they're flat.
There is a girl that loves me that I hate but I take advantage of it by fucking her and lying about loving her back.
I collect plastic toy soldiers.
I have a fetish for creampies.
I often think about ways to torture people.
I'm enlisted in the Marine Corps and honestly hope I get deployed so I can kill people.
I also masturbate up to 8 times a day.[/QUOTE] Cool kid.
[QUOTE]There was this girl in school I thought was hot, everyone knew it and she didn't want me unless she needed change for bus fare. I knew this and held off, plenty of achievable fish in the sea.
She takes photos of everyone all the time. When she said "I hate people taking pics of me" I naturally pulled out a camera(phone) in front of her and took a picture, she got mad, I gave the phone to her for her to delete it.
One day I managed to piss off one of her friends (asshole to me), someone sent me his twitter and it was actually the funniest thing I've ever read. I accidentally mentioned it with her in ear shot, her: "how do you know these posts do you have twitter" me: "no haha I twitter stalked him ofc[/SARCASM]"
She told him, he got mad etc. Then I noticed she started ignoring me, so one night at a party: "hey sorry if I've pissed you off somehow but seriously why are you ignoring me"; her reply: "you can't say sorry for what you've done, nothing makes up for taking pictures of me and stalking my twitter" and stormed off (shortly before she'd asked me to share my food, BITCH). Most people who knew me didn't buy into it, but pretty much the rest of the school did, not nice.
Kind of confused, did I actually do anything wrong apart from take a joke too far to deserve that?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]I'd first like to thank you for making this thread. I have never participated in anonymous confessions, so I feel like this would be a rather funny experience.
Anyhoo, here's my story:
It was in 7th grade, and one day during lunch I was doodling in my notebook and a friend of mine noticed it. I was drawing myself as a stick figure and he said "Hey, lemmie see that." I gave him my notebook and he drew a GIGANTIC dick on my stick figure drawing. My other friends had noticed this, and they thought it was rather funny. Another friend of mine asked for the notebook, and he drew a dick ON that dick. And everyday for the whole month we would each take turns drawing a dick in my notebook. One notable drawing was of a first person shooter themed illustration of a man buttfucking another guy, in which a caption came up which stated "Press X to fuck". One day, my friends and I were going through the notebook, having a good laugh, when the dean of students spotted us laughing at the notebook at walked towards our table. Our dean is probably the most evil person you will ever meet. We called her the "fun police" because she would always yell at us for literally laughing and having fun. She had walked over to our table, and took the notebook out of my hands. She flipped through a couple pages, and told me to stay after lunch. That whole lunch period my friends and I were constantly telling me that I was fucked. But, I came up with a devious plan to get myself out of the situation. After lunch, I had stayed, and the dean walked over to me and asked me "What in the world is this monstrosity?" while flipping through pages. She stopped on the "Press X to fuck" page, in which she merely whispered "Oh my." I said "This was my math notebook that I had accidentally left here yesterday, and this is what was in it when I found it." The dean nodded and said "So what you're saying is that this was the work of students of another period, hm?" I said yes, and she said "Well I'm thankful that you told me the truth, but I'm afraid I'm going to give you a detention for not reporting this." I accepted it, only relieved that I wouldn't get in trouble for drawing penises by the fun police.[/QUOTE] If only the police were really this fun.
[QUOTE]There was this girl in school I thought was hot, everyone knew it and she didn't want me unless she needed change for bus fare. I knew this and held off, plenty of achievable fish in the sea.
She takes photos of everyone all the time. When she said "I hate people taking pics of me" I naturally pulled out a camera(phone) in front of her and took a picture, she got mad, I gave the phone to her for her to delete it.
One day I managed to piss off one of her friends (asshole to me), someone sent me his twitter and it was actually the funniest thing I've ever read. I accidentally mentioned it with her in ear shot, her: "how do you know these posts do you have twitter" me: "no haha I twitter stalked him ofc[/SARCASM]"
She told him, he got mad etc. Then I noticed she started ignoring me, so one night at a party: "hey sorry if I've pissed you off somehow but seriously why are you ignoring me"; her reply: "you can't say sorry for what you've done, nothing makes up for taking pictures of me and stalking my twitter" and stormed off (shortly before she'd asked me to share my food, BITCH). Most people who knew me didn't buy into it, but pretty much the rest of the school did, not nice.
Kind of confused, did I actually do anything wrong apart from take a joke too far to deserve that?[/QUOTE]
I feel like I want to help him but the confession is so poorly structured. Sounds like she's a mega-bitch though.
I found this on lolsaywhat
[quote]In high school we used to be able to send candy grams on valentines day or whatever.
Well there was this kid who didn't have any friends. He was an only child and apparently his mother had lost an unborn fetus from a car accident.
They baww'ed over it and had a funeral and everything (she was only 3 months pregnant).
We had homeroom together and valentines came and he got his candy gram, that I had sent.
As he was handed it his face lit up, until he began to read the card.
The card read:
To: Chris
From: Your Dead Baby Sister
Location: Hell[/quote]
I'm going to Hell for laughing at that.
that's fucking hellarious
[quote]I'll just start off by saying, sorry if this bores anyone. I don't really have too many interesting confessions I guess but meh.
- Ever since I was younger I was always shy around people, this included even my own family though not as greatly as with strangers. Surprisingly though, through out grade school I was able to make a few friends here and there because I was good at soccer and kids wanted me on their team during recess. However, as soon as I hit middle school reality hit me a bit and that bit of shyness slammed me in the face and turned into something a thousand times worse. The few friends that I had made back in grade school were zoned for a different middle school, so I was left to myself. I was always missing days. I probably racked up about 30-40 absences during the first year of middle school. My mom was always soft and I could easily ask her to stay home. Some days she was a bit tougher and I had to tell her I didn't feel good, and others I would pretend to miss my bus when I knew she wouldn't be able to take me to school. I even went as far to stay out in the woods during the school day and then come back and act like I had gone and everything. Middle school also introduced two things I wasn't used to and didn't care for at all. One- presentations and two- group projects. When we had to do group projects, I dreaded hearing the next sentence out of my teacher's mouth- "Find partners". Everytime this happened I just sat at my desk and pretended to be busy looking over the assignment. We had an odd number of students in the class so I couldn't be saved by a group being short and having to ask me to join and my teacher would always walk right by me. She saw I was alone but she never offered to help me find a group and it usually took all I had to not start crying at my desk. It was embarrassing and it made me feel downright pathetic. When it came to presentations, I wouldn't do them. The teacher would give us the assignment and I would go home and do the project, but I would just keep it in my closet afterwards. I did this because the first time we did presentations, I brought mine to school and tried to just hand it in. My teacher shook her head at me and told me I'd have to present it. I pointed out that the presentation was worth 20 points and that she could just deduct those but she wouldn't hear of it. Every time we had presentations I knew my grades would drop so I would try my hardest to make it up by doing great on tests and doing other homework. I loved learning and I loved the aspect of school- I just hated the people in it. I hated the people. I don't know if any of you on FP have social anxiety but it made that first year of school an absolute nightmare. All throughout the day my heart would pound and I would shake and feel nervous and sick- like I was about to throw up. It took a lot to get through the day without bursting into tears constantly. By 7th grade I was fed up with it. I started leaving fake suicide notes around the house where I knew my mom would find them. I also started cutting myself and punching concrete walls- anything to leave marks and scars on my arms and legs. I didn't 'like' pain I just wanted my mom to see them. She took notice and took me to a therapist and I outright lied and told him I wanted to die and that I would do it. I didn't want to take my life, I just wanted to get out of school. I know you guys are probably thinking 'hurr home school' but that wasn't an option for me. Anyway, I wound up landing into several different mental institutions because of that. I would get out and land myself right back in. By the time I was 15 I legally dropped out of school and spent most of my time locked in my room. I'm 21 now and to this day, I don't and haven't left the house. The farthest I go is the porch and that's it. I want to change, but at the same time I don't. I don't know who to go to about it. I feel too awkward to talk to my mom about it so I feel stuck.
- Because of ^ I have no friends. And I literally mean none. There's people out there that will say 'OMG LOL I HAVE NO FRIENDS' and then they'll text a couple people. If someone told me to send a message to a friend, I'd have not one single person, not even an acquaintance.
-When I was 16 I got the idea to stick a tampon up my butt while I masturbated. It felt really good. I stopped after my mom was confused about how she was going through so many though.
-When I was in 4th grade I went over to a friend's house when his parents weren't there to play some games. He went to the bathroom and while he was in there I looked around his house. His parents had a giant blow up beer can in their bedroom and I humped it for a few mins until I heard the bathroom door open and then I just pretended to be looking at his parents clock. I went to his house a few times after just to hump that beer can.
-A couple years ago I used to play WoW and I was DESPERATE for someone to love me. I made a girl blood elf and would talk to guys and pretend to be a girl by the name of Rebecca. I led a guy on for about 8 months and then just stopped talking to him because he kept wanting me to use mic/call him and it got to be too much of a hassle to lie about it most every day.
-I like the feeling of pulling hairs out from my butt. Not the hairs that are already there, but long hairs from me or my mom. I took a shower once and my butt itched and I scratched the crack and felt something- pulled on it and it turned out to be a hair. Just the feeling- I can't explain it. I really can't.
-If I get horny, I wait til later to eat so that I can ejaculate into my food. If I don't feel like waiting and I'm not in the mood at the time, I'll just do it into my drink. It doesn't really do anything to the taste besides make it a bit salty, I just like the thought of doing it.[/quote]
[img]http://sixrevisions.info/crying_kids.jpg[/img]
[quote]I'll just start off by saying, sorry if this bores anyone. I don't really have too many interesting confessions I guess but meh.
- Ever since I was younger I was always shy around people, this included even my own family though not as greatly as with strangers. Surprisingly though, through out grade school I was able to make a few friends here and there because I was good at soccer and kids wanted me on their team during recess. However, as soon as I hit middle school reality hit me a bit and that bit of shyness slammed me in the face and turned into something a thousand times worse. The few friends that I had made back in grade school were zoned for a different middle school, so I was left to myself. I was always missing days. I probably racked up about 30-40 absences during the first year of middle school. My mom was always soft and I could easily ask her to stay home. Some days she was a bit tougher and I had to tell her I didn't feel good, and others I would pretend to miss my bus when I knew she wouldn't be able to take me to school. I even went as far to stay out in the woods during the school day and then come back and act like I had gone and everything. Middle school also introduced two things I wasn't used to and didn't care for at all. One- presentations and two- group projects. When we had to do group projects, I dreaded hearing the next sentence out of my teacher's mouth- "Find partners". Everytime this happened I just sat at my desk and pretended to be busy looking over the assignment. We had an odd number of students in the class so I couldn't be saved by a group being short and having to ask me to join and my teacher would always walk right by me. She saw I was alone but she never offered to help me find a group and it usually took all I had to not start crying at my desk. It was embarrassing and it made me feel downright pathetic. When it came to presentations, I wouldn't do them. The teacher would give us the assignment and I would go home and do the project, but I would just keep it in my closet afterwards. I did this because the first time we did presentations, I brought mine to school and tried to just hand it in. My teacher shook her head at me and told me I'd have to present it. I pointed out that the presentation was worth 20 points and that she could just deduct those but she wouldn't hear of it. Every time we had presentations I knew my grades would drop so I would try my hardest to make it up by doing great on tests and doing other homework. I loved learning and I loved the aspect of school- I just hated the people in it. I hated the people. I don't know if any of you on FP have social anxiety but it made that first year of school an absolute nightmare. All throughout the day my heart would pound and I would shake and feel nervous and sick- like I was about to throw up. It took a lot to get through the day without bursting into tears constantly. By 7th grade I was fed up with it. I started leaving fake suicide notes around the house where I knew my mom would find them. I also started cutting myself and punching concrete walls- anything to leave marks and scars on my arms and legs. I didn't 'like' pain I just wanted my mom to see them. She took notice and took me to a therapist and I outright lied and told him I wanted to die and that I would do it. I didn't want to take my life, I just wanted to get out of school. I know you guys are probably thinking 'hurr home school' but that wasn't an option for me. Anyway, I wound up landing into several different mental institutions because of that. I would get out and land myself right back in. By the time I was 15 I legally dropped out of school and spent most of my time locked in my room. I'm 21 now and to this day, I don't and haven't left the house. The farthest I go is the porch and that's it. I want to change, but at the same time I don't. I don't know who to go to about it. I feel too awkward to talk to my mom about it so I feel stuck.
- Because of ^ I have no friends. And I literally mean none. There's people out there that will say 'OMG LOL I HAVE NO FRIENDS' and then they'll text a couple people. If someone told me to send a message to a friend, I'd have not one single person, not even an acquaintance.
-When I was 16 I got the idea to stick a tampon up my butt while I masturbated. It felt really good. I stopped after my mom was confused about how she was going through so many though.
-When I was in 4th grade I went over to a friend's house when his parents weren't there to play some games. He went to the bathroom and while he was in there I looked around his house. His parents had a giant blow up beer can in their bedroom and I humped it for a few mins until I heard the bathroom door open and then I just pretended to be looking at his parents clock. I went to his house a few times after just to hump that beer can.
-A couple years ago I used to play WoW and I was DESPERATE for someone to love me. I made a girl blood elf and would talk to guys and pretend to be a girl by the name of Rebecca. I led a guy on for about 8 months and then just stopped talking to him because he kept wanting me to use mic/call him and it got to be too much of a hassle to lie about it most every day.
-I like the feeling of pulling hairs out from my butt. Not the hairs that are already there, but long hairs from me or my mom. I took a shower once and my butt itched and I scratched the crack and felt something- pulled on it and it turned out to be a hair. Just the feeling- I can't explain it. I really can't.
-If I get horny, I wait til later to eat so that I can ejaculate into my food. If I don't feel like waiting and I'm not in the mood at the time, I'll just do it into my drink. It doesn't really do anything to the taste besides make it a bit salty, I just like the thought of doing it.[/quote]
You're the only one who can fix those problems, so stop being a whinging bitch, get off Facepunch, go out to the beach, and force yourself to speak to people. Maybe only order an Ice cream or something, but that's a start.
Also, therapy AND BE HONEST, they can do nothing for you if you keep being a little bitch and don't let them help you.
I don't see hope for v8 at this rate.
You guys sure are impatient as fuck. Hezzy only updated once or twice a week. OogalaBoogal is updating every day or two and you are [i]still[/i] complaining. You guys make me look patient...
[QUOTE=Bytecry;32902652]I don't see hope for v8 at this rate.[/QUOTE]
It's not like threads gets better with when it gets a new title, that's just the LMAO pics v100 circlejerk shit.
I thought I had done some fucked up things, but after reading some of these, I changed my mind. You give me hope, FP.
Somehow.
[quote]-If I get horny, I wait til later to eat so that I can ejaculate into my food. If I don't feel like waiting and I'm not in the mood at the time, I'll just do it into my drink. It doesn't really do anything to the taste besides make it a bit salty, I just like the thought of doing it.[/quote]
Okay, that's just nasty.
Bad news everyone, no new confessions. I'd really like it if you guys sent in some more.
[QUOTE]My confessions really aren't anything extraordinary compared to some of the others, but I wouldn't openly talk about this stuff:
When I was 11, I discovered porn and jerking off etc. When my parents were out shopping/working and stuff, I would do the deed. My dog was very curious about what I was doing, and would try and lick my winky. I would always kick her out of my room. Except one day, when I was watching a blowjob, I wondered, and I mean really wondered what it was like. My dog walks in, I push her away (forgot, she was 6 at the time, golden lab/retriever mix. Still have her), but then I had an idea. She came back and I let her lick about 10 times before I conquered my hormones. I kicked her out, and felt bad. I am not a furry, and I have a healthy sex life. I had even completely forgotten about it until I read an earlier confession :S. Nothing has happened since, and that was many years ago now. Plus, it didn't even feel good.
This was the same year (extreme hormones waaaaaaaaaah). We had gone on a family trip to Europe, it was great, but I was without porn and couldn't find time to "relieve" myself. We were now in Italy, though I forget which city now. As I was only 12, and we rented 2 rooms for 4 of us (mom, dad, older brother by 7 years), I had to share a bed. My brother wouldn't do it, so my parents let me sleep in the middle. So, eventually it's bed time, and we go to sleep. Fast forward 5 hours and I am the only one awake. I woke up with a raging boner, and I was squished between my mom and dad. I had to go pee too, but didn't want to wake them. So, I jerked off. Slowly, and quietly. Oh my god, it was so weird and freaky. I don't know why I just didn't get up a go take a piss. It took forever and I finally finished, and went back to sleep. Forgot about it basically the next day.
This one isn't sexual or anything, but I don't tell many people about it. A few years ago in Grade 6, I think, the class was doing some arm wrestling for fun. I wasn't very strong, and I was pretty thin too. The girl I had a massive crush on wanted to arm wrestle me. She won. I felt like a wimp! I sort of redeemed myself by winning left arm wrestles (I am right handed) against everyone, but it still damaged my ego/confidence w/e. Since then, I have been working out. I am now easily one of the strongest kids in my grade (10, and maybe even compared to higher) as I exercise with weights on an almost daily basis(usually 6 days a week), on top of PE class. My confidence is at an all time high, and I get compliments on my physique a lot.
I really recommend you guys to take up some form of exercise, it really helps in every way. I find it for a great time to think as well. You've just gotta find something to drive you.
I don't feel like proof reading this, so hopefully everything makes sense haha. [/QUOTE]
[quote]Ok. Second confession. This one is happened about 6 or 7 years ago. This was when I was still in primary school. It was year 6th and every year 6th class got the chance to become a "Buddy". Now what a buddy is looking after the little kids, making sure they're safe, access into normally restricted places. Stuff like that. They would pull you out about 10 minutes before lunch time to help prepare the little kids food. But all the buddy's had one designated child. These weren't any special kids, just kids who were new, had trouble making friends, stuff like that.
Now after about 2 days of just generally cleaning up and looking after my friend I decided to help out with my friends buddy. I knew her name was Charlie but hadn't seen her. Anyway, I'm looking for my friend and he tells me to look after her while going to clean himself up (He had food literally on his clothes because of the kids) I'm shouting her name out until on the adults point her out for me. Then I see her, beautiful long blonde hair, cute green eyes, crinkle cut noise. Perfection.
After seeing her I got a raging boner, at first I was confused what was happening then about 10 minutes I realised why. I had a thing for small kids. Now, I was only about 12 but I was smart. I knew I couldn't let this affect me because hell, I didn't want to sign the sex offender list and I didn't want to go to jail. Anyway I lift her up and her ass graze my penis and it get's stiff. I knew this was wrong and it sickens me to this day .
I went to the males bathroom, got her in a stall and locked the door and I unzipped my pants. I gave her simple instructions on how to jerk me off and she complied. It felt amazing. At this point I didn't care for anything except that. After she'd finished I took off all her clothes and just felt her up. It felt so good. I had her under my control. After some very heavy petting I finished off and got her dressed. I felt like shit. I wanted to commit suicide after that.
Now it hits 3:30 and I'm out of there like the fucking flash. But I see her walking with her dad and I just felt so bad. I didn't go home. I went to church and prayed. I prayed and told him everything that happened. It's 5 - 6 years later. I've stopped going but I still feel like absolute shit when I think about it.[/quote]
Church and pedophilia. I think this is how Priests are bred.
Come on people, write some confessions. We know you have them.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;32454836]He was permabanned.
[editline]24th September 2011[/editline][/QUOTE]
I have a friend who is a compulsive liar. It sounds exactly like the examples that were there.
[quote]When I was 11, I discovered porn and jerking off etc. When my parents were out shopping/working and stuff, I would do the deed. My dog was very curious about what I was doing, and would try and lick my winky. I would always kick her out of my room. Except one day, when I was watching a blowjob, I wondered, and I mean really wondered what it was like. My dog walks in, I push her away (forgot, she was 6 at the time, golden lab/retriever mix. Still have her), but then I had an idea. She came back and I let her lick about 10 times before I conquered my hormones. I kicked her out, and felt bad. I am not a furry, and I have a healthy sex life. I had even completely forgotten about it until I read an earlier confession :S. Nothing has happened since, and that was many years ago now. Plus, it didn't even feel good.[/quote]
I didn't see why this was special until I read the words "My Dog"
then I knew right where it was heading
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;32932344]I didn't see why this was special until I read the words "My Dog"
then I knew right where it was heading[/QUOTE]
it seems as if people letting their DOGS SUCK THEIR DICK is not as rare as once thought
Where's the new batch?
There is no new batch because he's not been getting any confessions.
Send shit in.
I'm in love with Garry Newman, I know he ain't gay but still
[QUOTE=Dah-thla;32788872]You guys are replying about the boring ones. The longest one is the most interesting.[/QUOTE]
The long ones take too long to read.
[QUOTE]I read through the posts and one caught my eye- talking about his ex girlfriend and how much of a bitch she was etc
I recognize the writing, and to YOU, my lovely ex boyfriend, the only reason I broke up with you is because you're a crabby stoner that tried to make me do drugs when I didn't want to, you constantly pissed me off when you flirted with all my friends, and I lied when I said your new chain thing was cool. It's fucking ugly and you look like a fucking twat in it.
PS- The only reason you couldn't hear me all the time was because your ears were so clogged up with earwax even the gayest bender on earth couldn't penetrate it
PPS- I used to deal with WoW until you started playing it. When I was on your laptop once I saw "elf girl porn" on your history. I never told you because I was too nice.
PPPS- Remember all those orgasms? Yeah, you know the ones. Every. Single. One. Was fake. Your penis was so miraculously small David Attenborough would've given a documentary on it.
PPPPS- I find, now we've broken up, I find girls attractive. You were so shit, you made me a lesbian.
Also, I suppose I should give a confession.. After sex with my ^^EX^^ boyfriend, I put in a tampon and I got more pleasure from that than the shag.[/QUOTE] OOOOOOHHHHH
[QUOTE]hi I have a confession
my lady and i have talked about sex and stuff in the past but i am absolutely bollocks at bringing up other subjects and i am in dire need of suggestions
we've talked about a few things and when we'd do them but i have a lot more to say/ask; however, i am awful at bringing up the subject and usually type variants of "adlkasjdasd" until it's clear that i'm bored and want to talk
thanks :[[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]This is going to be bad, I'm glad I've finally got a place to come clean about this. I hope after reading this that you won't judge me, because I know some people can be
sensitive about this kind of issue. I'm sorry if this comes out as some kind of novel, but it happens a lot when I'm recalling something and typing about it.
About 2 years ago, before we moved, we used to live next door to a family who owned a rather large labrador that would bark all the time. I was about 15 at the time and full of all that
teenage angst, so I got annoyed pretty easily.
I had a pretty bad day, slept in, forgot homework, which made me pissed off for the rest of the day, which didn't help when a friend punched me for a joke and I flipped out on him, which meant aong with those other things I also lost a good friend. I walked home by myself. It was a sad day, it was cold and raining a bit.
I arrived at home, no one else was in because I'm usually alone when I first get home, before my parents get back from work. Next door's dog was barking and it was driving me absolutely mad. Then I felt as if I had been blessed, when I saw the family that lived nextdoor leaving. I don't know where they were off to, or why they were all there considering it was just after school.
They left. The dog kept barking. Bark bark bloody bark. I'd had enough. I looked under the sink, knowing that we had some ant poision. It was time to put this barky fucker down. I took the ant poision and went into the backyard, and put my hands on the fence, pulling myself up so I could look over at next door. The dog was barking for no reason, I mean what the fuck. I climbed over the fence, adrenaline taking over. I looked around for the food bowl which had just been filled up. No doubt it was going to go eat some food after.
The dog came after me, so I legged it for the food bowl, clipped off the top of the ant poision and dumped a load messily (no qaugmire jokes please) in the bowl. Clipping the top back on, I sprinted for dear life at the fence, and did an actually incredible lunge, my new-found arm strength pulling me over. I landed dodgily in my backgarden, sprained my ankle, and I had to limp back inside. I ran back inside, heart pounding, breathing heavily. I put the ant poision back.
I didn't regret it at first, but I didn't want to sadistically listen for the dog to eventually stop barking. I just listened to some music. Later on my parents got back, I didn't talk much to them and I was a bit shaky at dinner time. There was no barking. After I went upstairs and looked out the window, it was barely light but the dog was on the floor, not in a sleeping sort of way, but as if it was actually dead. There wasn't anything left in the food bowl, so there was no evidence. Never the less I was sooo fucking scared.
I never did hear anything about it, I guess they never thought it to be me as I was always pretty nice to them. My mum told me about it once and I just said "Oh, that's a shame. I wonder who did it?" but I don't think she suspects it.
It feels good to get this out in the open.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]I'm going to keep this short: I have a fetish for incest. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone it in real life or would do it myself but in fiction, I think it's pretty hot.[/QUOTE]
Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
[QUOTE]Hey Facepunch.
Ever meet a pacifist who thinks everyone deserves candy and no one deserves to die and all that hippie shit?
Ever meet a easily angered person who likes to yell at people for the smallest of problems and always look like they're on the brink of snapping and going apeshit?
Now imagine this: Putting those two types of people together.
You would get me if you did that.
I'm am the most passive aggressive person I know. I'd never fight back if someone were to beat me up in the street (I'd try to defend myself though). I'd never kill a man even if he was Hitler or Bin Laden or Hussein.
But I can be easily angered and I might not even show it. When I'm angered, a storm of sailor-with-tourette's-syndrome-on-fire goes on in my head.
Lemme give you an example:
Quite a few years ago, when my younger brother was about 8, he had bed wetting problems. And my mom thought it would be a good idea to give him positive feedback for not wetting the bed. So if he were to not wet the bed for a week, he'd get $5.
For a month: Go to Chuck E. Cheese's. What my mom didn't know is that this was turning my brother into a greedy kid. He easily got $5 over and over but never got to the point where he could go to Chuck E. Cheese's. Right near the end of a month, he was getting ready to buy some Lego or some shit, but was short a few bucks. He decided to go through my wallet and take all of the money (approx. $30). I nearly instantly knew it was him because he was pretty much announcing by this time "When I go to Chuck E. Cheese's, I want to stop at Toys R' Us to get [whatever the fuck it was here]". It was like he was planning his own birthday party. Now here's where the passive aggressive part kicks in.
Day 30. 4:00 AM. My alarm goes off. I get up, go into the kitchen, fill a bowl with hot water, go to my brother's room, put my brother's hand in the water and wait a few minutes. Then I pull back the covers to find that he has wet the bed big-time. Then I dry off his hand, pour the bowl out and make everything as it was before I got up. I go back to bed only to wake up 2 hours later to get ready for school. As I'm getting ready to go to school, my brother gets up and walks out of his room crying. He says some unintelligible things to my mom and she says back "Well, there's always next time bud."
Mission success.
That was a long example, but for about a year now I've been letting people walk all over me and I don't know why. FP, how can I get back in the swing of things? I miss the days where I can get revenge on people in a way where they don't even know it was me.[/QUOTE] That's fantastic.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;32952061]I read through the posts and one caught my eye- talking about his ex girlfriend and how much of a bitch she was etc
I recognize the writing, and to YOU, my lovely ex boyfriend, the only reason I broke up with you is because you're a crabby stoner that tried to make me do drugs when I didn't want to, you constantly pissed me off when you flirted with all my friends, and I lied when I said your new chain thing was cool. It's fucking ugly and you look like a fucking twat in it.
PS- The only reason you couldn't hear me all the time was because your ears were so clogged up with earwax even the gayest bender on earth couldn't penetrate it
PPS- I used to deal with WoW until you started playing it. When I was on your laptop once I saw "elf girl porn" on your history. I never told you because I was too nice.
PPPS- Remember all those orgasms? Yeah, you know the ones. Every. Single. One. Was fake. Your penis was so miraculously small David Attenborough would've given a documentary on it.
PPPPS- I find, now we've broken up, I find girls attractive. You were so shit, you made me a lesbian.
Also, I suppose I should give a confession.. After sex with my ^^EX^^ boyfriend, I put in a tampon and I got more pleasure from that than the shag..[/QUOTE]
Anyone mind finding what this is referring to?
[QUOTE]This is going to be bad, I'm glad I've finally got a place to come clean about this. I hope after reading this that you won't judge me, because I know some people can be
sensitive about this kind of issue. I'm sorry if this comes out as some kind of novel, but it happens a lot when I'm recalling something and typing about it.
About 2 years ago, before we moved, we used to live next door to a family who owned a rather large labrador that would bark all the time. I was about 15 at the time and full of all that
teenage angst, so I got annoyed pretty easily.
I had a pretty bad day, slept in, forgot homework, which made me pissed off for the rest of the day, which didn't help when a friend punched me for a joke and I flipped out on him, which meant aong with those other things I also lost a good friend. I walked home by myself. It was a sad day, it was cold and raining a bit.
I arrived at home, no one else was in because I'm usually alone when I first get home, before my parents get back from work. Next door's dog was barking and it was driving me absolutely mad. Then I felt as if I had been blessed, when I saw the family that lived nextdoor leaving. I don't know where they were off to, or why they were all there considering it was just after school.
They left. The dog kept barking. Bark bark bloody bark. I'd had enough. I looked under the sink, knowing that we had some ant poision. It was time to put this barky fucker down. I took the ant poision and went into the backyard, and put my hands on the fence, pulling myself up so I could look over at next door. The dog was barking for no reason, I mean what the fuck. I climbed over the fence, adrenaline taking over. I looked around for the food bowl which had just been filled up. No doubt it was going to go eat some food after.
The dog came after me, so I legged it for the food bowl, clipped off the top of the ant poision and dumped a load messily (no qaugmire jokes please) in the bowl. Clipping the top back on, I sprinted for dear life at the fence, and did an actually incredible lunge, my new-found arm strength pulling me over. I landed dodgily in my backgarden, sprained my ankle, and I had to limp back inside. I ran back inside, heart pounding, breathing heavily. I put the ant poision back.
I didn't regret it at first, but I didn't want to sadistically listen for the dog to eventually stop barking. I just listened to some music. Later on my parents got back, I didn't talk much to them and I was a bit shaky at dinner time. There was no barking. After I went upstairs and looked out the window, it was barely light but the dog was on the floor, not in a sleeping sort of way, but as if it was actually dead. There wasn't anything left in the food bowl, so there was no evidence. Never the less I was sooo fucking scared.
I never did hear anything about it, I guess they never thought it to be me as I was always pretty nice to them. My mum told me about it once and I just said "Oh, that's a shame. I wonder who did it?" but I don't think she suspects it.
It feels good to get this out in the open.[/QUOTE]
Wow that's fucking messed up.
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