Aw man, he didn't post my confession.
I bet because it holds the truth to the universe and he's keeping it for himself.
[QUOTE]I read through the posts and one caught my eye- talking about his ex girlfriend and how much of a bitch she was etc
I recognize the writing, and to YOU, my lovely ex boyfriend, the only reason I broke up with you is because you're a crabby stoner that tried to make me do drugs when I didn't want to, you constantly pissed me off when you flirted with all my friends, and I lied when I said your new chain thing was cool. It's fucking ugly and you look like a fucking twat in it.
PS- The only reason you couldn't hear me all the time was because your ears were so clogged up with earwax even the gayest bender on earth couldn't penetrate it
PPS- I used to deal with WoW until you started playing it. When I was on your laptop once I saw "elf girl porn" on your history. I never told you because I was too nice.
PPPS- Remember all those orgasms? Yeah, you know the ones. Every. Single. One. Was fake. Your penis was so miraculously small David Attenborough would've given a documentary on it.
PPPPS- I find, now we've broken up, I find girls attractive. You were so shit, you made me a lesbian.
Also, I suppose I should give a confession.. After sex with my ^^EX^^ boyfriend, I put in a tampon and I got more pleasure from that than the shag.[/QUOTE]
The only part in which I am sympathetic to her, is in relevance to him being a stoner (probably an annoying trait, I assume). Otherwise, dear gal, you are nothing more than a deceiving bitch. You never told him the truth about such things as intimacy and well, way to probably bring the poor guy into the ground or something.
don't fucking fake orgasms, it's just an extremely awful move.
[QUOTE=Flyingman356;32954835]don't fucking fake orgasms, it's just an extremely awful move.[/QUOTE]
It's a grade-A dick move no matter what (pun hurr)
OP, if you're so strapped for confessions, I sent ya something that hasn't been featured in a PM.
[quote]I read through the posts and one caught my eye- talking about his ex girlfriend and how much of a bitch she was etc
I recognize the writing, and to YOU, my lovely ex boyfriend, the only reason I broke up with you is because you're a crabby stoner that tried to make me do drugs when I didn't want to, you constantly pissed me off when you flirted with all my friends, and I lied when I said your new chain thing was cool. It's fucking ugly and you look like a fucking twat in it.
PS- The only reason you couldn't hear me all the time was because your ears were so clogged up with earwax even the gayest bender on earth couldn't penetrate it
PPS- I used to deal with WoW until you started playing it. When I was on your laptop once I saw "elf girl porn" on your history. I never told you because I was too nice.
PPPS- Remember all those orgasms? Yeah, you know the ones. Every. Single. One. Was fake. Your penis was so miraculously small David Attenborough would've given a documentary on it.
PPPPS- I find, now we've broken up, I find girls attractive. You were so shit, you made me a lesbian.
Also, I suppose I should give a confession.. After sex with my ^^EX^^ boyfriend, I put in a tampon and I got more pleasure from that than the shag.[/quote]
Dunno why but I read this in the voice of every sassy black woman sitcom character. Complete with mmmhmms and that finger-snapping shit.
[QUOTE]
I'm going to keep this short: I have a fetish for incest. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone it in real life or would do it myself but in fiction, I think it's pretty hot.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Zenpod;32466207]I hope there is more Incest this time[/QUOTE]
Before anyone draws lines, No, It's not me
[QUOTE=Zenpod;32956507]Before anyone draws lines, No, It's not me[/QUOTE]
Well now you've gone and drawn suspicion to yourself. I didn't even remember you asking for that.
[QUOTE=Cone;32956561]Well now you've gone and drawn suspicion to yourself. I didn't even remember you asking for that.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, ban Zenpod already.
This shit's weird. There's some weird shit in here. The shit ya'll are into is weird.
[editline]25th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;32953240]Aw man, he didn't post my confession.
I bet because it holds the truth to the universe and he's keeping it for himself.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Zenpod;32956507]Before anyone draws lines, No, It's not me[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Cone;32955818]OP, if you're so strapped for confessions, I sent ya something that hasn't been featured in a PM.[/QUOTE]
Isn't the entire point of this to remain [I]anonymous[/I]? If you broadcast that you sent something in, and then point out every flippin' "confession" that [I]isn't[/I] yours, doesn't that make it [B]pretty darn easy[/B] to determine which one [I]is[/I]?
[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;32961669]Yeah, ban Zenpod already.[/QUOTE]
What, No.
I knew someone was going to draw that line eventually, even though it's wrong
Why, exactly, would anybody [I]ever[/I] draw that line?
"Oh, hold on, [I]wait just a darn minute![/I] Remember that eight word post that Zenpod made [B]a month ago?[/B] It casually mentioned the same topic that this (and a dozen other, equally fucked up) confession is based on! Obviously this is him! Who the heck else could is possibly be?"
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;32961874]Why, exactly, would anybody [I]ever[/I] draw that line?
"Oh, hold on, [I]wait just a darn minute![/I] Remember that eight word post that Zenpod made [B]a month ago?[/B] It mentioned the same topic that this (and a dozen other, equally fucked up) confession is based on! Obviously this is him! Who the heck else could is possibly be?"[/QUOTE]
It's happened before. iirc someone brought up a YEAR old post to call me a furry
Look, For fuck sake, I only ever sent one confession in, and that was about "Nightmare about Ponies"
[QUOTE=Zenpod;32961966]It's happened before. iirc someone brought up a YEAR old post to call me a furry
Look, For fuck sake, I only ever sent one confession in, and that was about "Nightmare about Ponies"[/QUOTE]
incest ponies?
[QUOTE=swampie;32962172]incest ponies?[/QUOTE]
No, Something to with the Rainbow one and some bloke who looked abit like Garry.
That was when I concluded I've been on the internet too much. (But obviously, I didn't do fuck all about it)
lolsaywhat has lots of funny and horrible stories, so if this thread closes you should remember that.
[quote]I once caught a fat mouse. I then put it in a bucket where I strapped a whole bunch of fireworks to it
I then strapped the bucket to the top of a pine tree
So when I set the rockets off, that fucker when flying uncontrollably all over the places until it exploded in mid-air.
shit was so cash[/quote]
lol
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;32961721]This shit's weird. There's some weird shit in here. The shit ya'll are into is weird.
[editline]25th October 2011[/editline]
Isn't the entire point of this to remain [I]anonymous[/I]? If you broadcast that you sent something in, and then point out every flippin' "confession" that [I]isn't[/I] yours, doesn't that make it [B]pretty darn easy[/B] to determine which one [I]is[/I]?[/QUOTE]
Well I didn't give any hints, plus it's the only real way for me to tell OP about it if he hasn't read his inbox. He said there aren't enough confessions, so I told him where to get some.
[QUOTE=Cone;32963844]Well I didn't give any hints, plus it's the only real way for me to tell OP about it if he hasn't read his inbox. He said there aren't enough confessions, so I told him where to get some.[/QUOTE]
PM
[QUOTE=WastedJamacan;32964310]PM[/QUOTE]
That's what I did and why I said OP hasn't checked his inbox.
[QUOTE]Hey hey, this isn't new, but earlier on I sent one in about my crossdressing thing and letter plan of telling my Mom. I recall Oogal or someone else saying it was a bad idea, but whoever said it can EAT BUTT BECAUSE I DID IT AND IT WENT WONDERFULLY!
Since I have really young siblings, I'm not allowed to dress like a girl in front of them. At least I'll have financial support though.
Now I can move on to keep discussing options with my school counselor.
Oh, and I suppose I'll give a confession. I used to, ironically considering how sexually loose (especially with men) I am now, be a homophobe.
I remember it wasn't a big part of me, I just thought gays were weird. This got bad when my family went to San Francisco, which I ruined, because I spent part of the trip freaking out at being in the city of gays, and the other part resenting my parents for taking me there.
I don't know if this was when I started being bicurious, because I think I might have been afraid they'd sniff me out, or something.
I'm not like that anymore, thank god. This was when I was 12, though, which was the time I joined Facepunch. I only made a couple shit posts and left for a year when I returned much more intelligent. Had I stuck around I would've surely gotten perma'd.
Eh, maybe you guys don't find that confession interesting, but for me my time as a gay hating douchebag, especially with the San Francisco trip, is one of the big regrets in my life that nags at my mind and makes me feel like shit every now and then.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]When i was younger i worked at a local Greek Family steakhouse. The owner was super awesome, and his whole family worked there, all of them nice. His son who was 6 was there a lot since his parents kept him there with them. During the school year he was at school during the day, and would be there at night. I liked the kid a lot, and he liked me, but sometimes when he was acting up, he was just such a little shit.
I can remember more than once he would come into the dishroom and start taking steak knives out of the solution they would soak in before i washed them and throw them at me. Other times he would just be obnoxious, do stuff like keep hitting me, knocking stuff over, dumping ash trays on the floor. Just obnoxious little stuff to be a shit. He also was an excellent example of how children have a complete lack of memory of the bad things they do, because while he would be an absolute little shit at the beginning of some shifts (My shifts were only 2 hours of dishwashing...not bad for 15 years old)
Anyhow, this kid was super cool, but sometimes he was the biggest pain in the ass. Usually if he was being a shit i would just go tell his dad who was this big man, maybe 6'1" (this was huge to me back when i was 5'5" and barely weighed 100 pounds) and his dad would chase him down and spank him until he cried. Always hilarious because his dad, being a Greek immigrant didn't use any English when pissed. It was just a flurry of angry Greek insults.
But this one time i was getting annoyed with it. I was trying to clean under all the tables in the restaurant (Construction workers loved to come in at lunch, and the only thing they loved more than eating at Dino's was not scraping their fucking boots off and rubbing them all over the table legs).
So i'm already unhappy to be scrubbing but little Michael keeps dumping all the crap on the floor, cigarettes, papers, everything. Just being a turd.
So i was carrying my bucket and towel and he started making a mess and throwing stuff at me, so i towel snapped him. I hit in right in the face...he started crying and just holding his face, and i'm trying to get him to calm down despite laughing and feeling terrible all at once.
Now that it's been 10 years since that job, i feel terrible about it. I mean...sure i was young...but i towel snapped a kid in the face.
I'm kind of sad that place closed. Dino was killed in a car accident while going to St. Louis to pick up his daughter at the airport. So, sadly the last time i saw Michael was at his father's funeral when he was young.
Hopefully he's doing okay now, and hopefully he doesn't remember me towel snapping him in the face.
If it makes me less of a douche, i did go in the parking lot and play football with him for 20 minutes after i got off. [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]when i was younger (14) i was once invited to a birthday party of a friend, a fishing trip. the place we were fishing was down a hill from the guys house, so we didn't need a car to get back and forth, but the hill destroyed your legs if you walked up it. fishing being a boring thing to do we usually needed snacks, and walking up the hill was really bad, so we would take turns to walk up the hill and get snacks and shit from the house, usually every 2 hours. so at this point its 2AM and it's my turn to go get snacks, so i walked up the hill and went into his house, got the snacks and began walking out, but i noticed that his sister (The same age as me) was having problems with her laptop so I put the snacks down and decided to help her. after i had fixed the problem i decided to stay in the warm house and not go back out into the cold, dark fishing area. after a while of talking normally we ended up flirting and eventually having sex, then i said goodbye and got the snacks and went back. the next morning when everyone was eating breakfast, i stayed quiet and eventually ended up leaving the table and going into his sisters room again, and stayed for the day instead of going fishing, chatting and flirting again, until once again we had sex and fell asleep together. Nobody knew about this apart from us. the next day we all left back to our respective houses and went back to school, then while talking to the friend i found out that his dad is HIGHLY religious and believed in marriage before sex
I guess i was lucky not to have been caught sexing up his "little flower" at 3AM[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Cone;32964450]That's what I did and why I said OP hasn't checked his inbox.[/QUOTE]
You're supposed to email the confession. Not PM it.
I keep reading these as OogalaBoogal telling us a bunch of his messed up and depressing life stories.
[QUOTE=WastedJamacan;32964656]You're supposed to email the confession. Not PM it.[/QUOTE]
We agreed it was kind of okay if you didn't have a GMail a load of pages back.
[QUOTE=antair;32965828]I keep reading these as OogalaBoogal telling us a bunch of his messed up and depressing life stories.[/QUOTE]
If my life was like those confessions.... :pwn:
[editline]25th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=WastedJamacan;32964656]You're supposed to email the confession. Not PM it.[/QUOTE] People can PM it if they want to.
[QUOTE=Cone;32965939]We agreed it was kind of okay if you didn't have a GMail a load of pages back.[/QUOTE]I didn't agree to this
[QUOTE=Cone;32965939]We agreed it was kind of okay if you didn't have a GMail a load of pages back.[/QUOTE]
Well then. I must have missed a few pages. However, still not okay for you to post in the thread saying you submitted one.
[QUOTE=Flyingman356;32954835]don't fucking fake orgasms, it's just an extremely awful move.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/50354_50847465670_8359912_n.jpg[/img]
[editline]26th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;32961721]Isn't the entire point of this to remain [I]anonymous[/I]? If you broadcast that you sent something in, and then point out every flippin' "confession" that [I]isn't[/I] yours, doesn't that make it [B]pretty darn easy[/B] to determine which one [I]is[/I]?[/QUOTE]
Mine was a joke, I didn't PM him the secret to the universe.
That last confession sounds like a bad plot for a porn movie.
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;32979836][img]http://gyazo.com/7039221574f14a6c4df45989aa971842.png[/img][/QUOTE]stop using gyazo
[img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1439918/Pics/2011-10-26_1755.png[/img]
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