Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v7 - General

[QUOTE]This is going to be my Anonymous Confession. I was going to post it as a thread on an alt account, but I decided not to. Disregard the email name or whatever, I use this as an anonymous email. Please try to keep this in a different post, I need some one to help me and I think some people will read it more. I am 15 and I am a Sophmore in High School and I (think) I suffer from extreme depression. All starting last year I have thoughts throughout the day of killing myself after any little incident that has happened. I don't know what to do. I'm insecure and I think I'm a total waste of life. I'm bullied around to the point where I just want to quit life. I don't want to be put through all the troubles. I don't know what I'm going to face when I grow up. I don't want to be a homeless person on the side of the street begging for money. I want to be succesful. But I just have a feeling that I won't end up that way. I'll give you an example: today I saw a couple holding hands, just walking down the hallway and it was a very pretty girl. Now, the ordinary teenager would probably just think of it as "cute" or "sweet", but not me. This just gave me the thought of suicide. Why might you ask? Because I am worthless. I can't get a decent girlfriend or a decent anything. I do good in school but I just get so fucking unorganized and lose so much shit I just can't fucking handle it. I procrastinate like there is no tomorrow and I can't help it. I just want to die. I feel like there's nothing that should happen or will ever happen to me until I die. I can't take this. And please actually give me a response, because I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. I have video-like memory's that don't exist of me just putting a gun up to my head and pulling the trigger, just letting go of all humanity. The only thing I pretty much do is browse Facepunch anyway. I'm a waste of life. A absolute complete waste. I've never had a father. My mother is 62, and no, this is no joke. She needed help when she was 46 or whatever age she was and she went to the sperm bank and that was how I was born. I've always grown up with an old family. I've never had a dad that I could talk to or a mom I could talk to, due to her being so old. I don't feel that it's the right time to talk to her about this problem. I just need help. Another problem is that I'm extremely insecure. I have acne all over my face and no matter what I do it doesn't go away. I did the towel trick, benzoyl peroxide, proactiv, everything. And I'm afraid of scars the most. The fucking imagination of scars all over my face because I couldn't help but rubbing the pimple until it fell off. I feel like my resort is just going to suicide. What if I don't get through college like planned? Oh, suicide. What if I don't get through High School as planned? Suicide. What if I end up alone and empty when I'm only 23? Suicide. I need some fucking help. Badly. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't go out in public without worrying how I look. I can't imagine anyone thinking I look decent or even half-ugly. I'm just ugly in general in my own opinion. My reputation isn't exactly the best either. The friends I have don't even know about this. They don't think of what I go through. I get called a douche, a dick, ugly, no life, gay, ect every single motherfucking day. I get threats of people beating me up afterschool. I don't know what to do. Should I see my counselor? What do I do facepunch? (if you have tips on how to treat my acne or something I would really appreciate them, I'd like a serious response from this)[/QUOTE]

See your counselor, really. And don't commit suicide - if you aren't going through this, you will not see the good times either. It might seem unbearable, but to quote Gandalf the Grey (though it's not his quote) "The night is darkest before the dawn". About the feeling worthless stuff, talk to your counselor, really. If you aren't letting people in, you aren't gonna get out of this. This doesn't mean that you should spout this everywhere, but talking with a person about it is really a big step. About acne: There's really not much to do about if you've tried the most. One of my friends has pretty extensive acne, and he's getting some medication for it, which has helped him pretty much. He has been taking it for almost a year now, and it's looking better. Hope you'll get better.

[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;33076159]See your counselor, really. And don't commit suicide - if you aren't going through this, you will not see the good times either. It might seem unbearable, but to quote Gandalf the Grey (though it's not his quote) "The night is darkest before the dawn". About the feeling worthless stuff, talk to your counselor, really. If you aren't letting people in, you aren't gonna get out of this. This doesn't mean that you should spout this everywhere, but talking with a person about it is really a big step. About acne: There's really not much to do about if you've tried the most. One of my friends has pretty extensive acne, and he's getting some medication for it, which has helped him pretty much. He has been taking it for almost a year now, and it's looking better. Hope you'll get better.[/QUOTE]School counselors (at least here) are extremely shitty who just do it because it's there job. They don't care about you, or what happens with you.

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;33075728][/QUOTE] For the acne stuff, did you try Benzoyl Peroxide (Preferably PanOxyl, at leas that' what worked for me first time. Plus, it's very easy on the skin, I even started on the %5) at night, and then Salicylic acid in the morning? I do that, and it's done wonders on my face. Also, wash your face off throughout the day (if you aren't already) to get the grease off. Another tip I recommend is showering everday, but using shampoo every other day. Shampoo would be an organic/natural type deal (I like Organix Coconut Milk shampoo, and it's not that expensive). SLS in a lot of other shampoos really dries out your skin and hair. Get an oil-free moisturizer and use it on your face every morning after a shower. I recommend Complex 15 Moisturizer. Whatever you do, DO NOT POP THOSE ZITS. I used to, but fortunately my skin doesn't scar easily. Trust me, when you stop popping and use the products (obviously, I can't guarantee), your face should get better. If you pop a zit, then put BP on it, it could make the scar worse as it dries it out, so why do it? I also recommend Cicalfate. It's somewhat expensive considering the container size, but it is a pretty amazing. It has prevented scars on my face many times, and reduces redness. If you have long hair, you might want to get it cut. The grease from the hair could be causing a lot of the acne. Another thing is drink lots of water (8 cups, throughout the day. 4 cups at 2 points in the day is inefficient.) Eating better (No soda/pop, I can't recommend drinking basically any fruit juice, you should just eat the fruit), and working out (Start off with some crunches and pushups each morning and night. You could try the 100 Pushup/Situp challenges online. If you have a dog, take it our for runs, if not, run anyway. At least walk.) Also, have you tried playing instruments before? Find something of passion. You should use your alt to reply, or at least reply through the confessions.

Go to the chat threads and use that alt or even your main account to post in the Depression chat thread. There are some supportive people in there and people who have gone through similar things from what I've seen. And don't do it. However bad it may seem it can get better. Those dickheads in school? You don't have to listen to their shit, it can wear you down, but if you keep ignoring it it will get to the point where it goes straight over your head. That was my experience of it anyway.

[QUOTE=Canuhearmenow;33056336]I can't help but feel he basically just looked up the signs and causes of being a sociopath/psychopath and wrote a fabricated story that way, mainly because I don't want to know someone on Facepunch is actually like this.[/QUOTE] It wouldn't be hard to make up a story about sociopathy. Three main symptoms: 1. Pyromania 2. Animal cruelty 3. Bedwetting (no, really) Main reason/result: Pent up anger (of course) caused by social humiliation, bullying Hm, seems to fit the bill...? Time to start hiding my personal info from Facepunch and throwing away the key. :tinfoil:

[QUOTE=rinoaff33;33079730]It wouldn't be hard to make up a story about sociopathy. Three main symptoms: 1. Pyromania 2. Animal cruelty 3. Bedwetting (no, really) Main reason/result: Pent up anger (of course) caused by social humiliation, bullying Hm, seems to fit the bill...? Time to start hiding my personal info from Facepunch and throwing away the key. :tinfoil:[/QUOTE]Those aren't actually symptoms, they're just common expressions of sociopathy/psychopathy.

[QUOTE=Octave;33079819]Those aren't actually symptoms, they're just common expressions of sociopathy/psychopathy.[/QUOTE] symptom [simp-tuhm]   symp·tom noun 1. any phenomenon or circumstance accompanying something and serving as evidence of it. 2. a sign or indication of something. 3. Pathology. a phenomenon that arises from and accompanies a particular disease or disorder and serves as an indication of it. [sp]I don't mean to be a smartass but you're arguing over a synonym here.[/sp]

[QUOTE=rinoaff33;33080105]symptom [simp-tuhm]   symp·tom noun 1. any phenomenon or circumstance accompanying something and serving as evidence of it. 2. a sign or indication of something. 3. Pathology. a phenomenon that arises from and accompanies a particular disease or disorder and serves as an indication of it. [sp]I don't mean to be a smartass but you're arguing over a synonym here.[/sp][/QUOTE]all i'm saying is that people who wet their beds, burn shit, and hurt animals aren't necessarily psychopaths or sociopaths.

[QUOTE=Octave;33080256]all i'm saying is that people who wet their beds, burn shit, and hurt animals aren't necessarily psychopaths or sociopaths.[/QUOTE] just fucked up

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;33075728][/QUOTE] Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I took your guys advice and decided to make an account. I'm going to try (alternately) posting in the Chat thread and see if I can get a little help. I tried the suicide hotline once but it was extremely awkward and to be honest she scared the shit out of me a little, it was very creepy.

[QUOTE=Confession;33081198]Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I took your guys advice and decided to make an account. I'm going to try (alternately) posting in the Chat thread and see if I can get a little help. I tried the suicide hotline once but it was extremely awkward and to be honest she scared the shit out of me a little, it was very creepy.[/QUOTE]Alt Finder time? :v:

[QUOTE=TehWhale;33081209]Alt Finder time? :v:[/QUOTE] What?

[QUOTE=oakman26;33081502]There is a thing that can find what accounts areon your IP.[/QUOTE] Ah, I put on an I.P because I saw some hash thing in OIFY and I didn't want to take any chances with ruining my main account with people spamming my profile with insults or something.

[QUOTE=Confession;33081238]What?[/QUOTE] ♪ I know who you areeeeee ♪ No really, I do and I can send your main a PM to prove it. [editline]1st November 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Confession;33081667]Ah, I put on an I.P because I saw some hash thing in OIFY and I didn't want to take any chances with ruining my main account with people spamming my profile with insults or something.[/QUOTE] Then you took someone else's IP then. Coincidentally.

[QUOTE=silentjubjub;33081691]♪ I know who you areeeeee ♪ No really, I do and I can send your main a PM to prove it.[/QUOTE] Please do. Also tell me how you found out (not teach me, I'd like to remain anonymous because I do have friends from school that use Facepunch)

Sent. And please go post in that thread.

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;33047213]My friend got drunk one night and passed out, so i teabagged his nose.[/QUOTE] Teabagged his nose? So you put your balls in his nostrils? What?

[QUOTE=Milp;33083308]Teabagged his nose? So you put your balls in his nostrils? What?[/QUOTE] Really small balls I guess

Stop trying to be clever dickheads and leave him to seek his help in peace. If he wants some sort of anonymity from his alt over this, don't be idiots trying to find his alt, help him out here.

Don't try to find people who post confessionals. Its a anonymous confessional, and they want it to stay that way. Don't be mean.

I miss the confessionals that were interesting, most of them now are "durp durp daddy dont love me no more, girlfriend dump me i hate life im psycho / depressed gonna cut dick open and beat off with blood as lube"

[QUOTE=Yahnich;33094675]i also have a feeling a lot of them are fake[/QUOTE] Of course they are. People just want to make other people laugh. I think only the really crazy ones are fake though.

[QUOTE]I used to have one of those Daisy BB rifles that the more you pump it, The more power it had. One day, I was out shooting it and i saw a few ducks and i did the first thing that came to mind (i shot and killed on(Yes, it is possible to kill something with one of those if you pump it enough.)) I lied to my parents and said it "Got in the way." That was just the major thing though. Here some other things i also want to confess about: - I'm Bisexual (I told my parents, and they don't believe me) - I have no friends (I used to, but all their parents HATE me) - I Had to go to Sacred Heart's Psychiatric Ward due to depression and hostility - I've Attempted suicide 6 times - I'm hated in my hometown * Because of this, I've been exiled to wear a mask whenever i go out This actually felt pretty good, writing this out.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]Alcohol is trying to fuck me in the ass. I've had a girlfriend of sorts for the past year and a-little-more-than-half or so. We've never talked about making it official or referred to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend, so I'm still not sure where we stand officially. I actually prefer it that way, as I prefer to fly solo most of the time. Luckily she's independent herself, so we're not a typical "gotta be around each other 24/7" couple. Whenever we have sex, I use a condom. Common sense. However, it appears that alcohol makes my penis incredibly slippery or some shit because condoms absolutely refuse to stay on whenever I have drunken sex with this girl. To make things worse, you typically lose some feeling down there once you reach a certain point of inebriation so I don't even notice is half the time. Last night was the second time we had drunken sex. I busted my nut, then realized the condom wasn't on when I got up to flush it down the toilet. Did it fall off when I pulled out? Was it off the whole time? Fuuuuuuck. Looks like I'm going to be shitting bricks for a while until she has her period. I think that's due pretty soon, so hopefully it won't be that long of w ait. Also, I've been posting and shit with alts and get nothing but winners and agrees every time, despite not changing my ideologies at all. Dumb faggots on facepunch were disagreeing with me just because of who I was, haha. Stay classy, gayboys.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]Hey Facepunch, how are all of you this fine morning/afternoon/evening/night? You good? That's awesome! You not so great? Well, I've heard that every day... Probably not the kind of confession you all are used to, or really wanted, but I just wanted to say that sometimes I hate being the nice guy. Sure, you get the thanks, and friends, and you make people's lives better (most of the time) but then you're always known as the nice guy, and never relationship material. Doesn't that suck? Basically, I love helping people, but hate those people for being idiots... ...this confession makes no sense when I read it back to myself. Oh well.[/QUOTE] Nice guys win in the end, trust me, no matter what MavrickIB said. [QUOTE]I have a bestiality fetish. I'm not really ashamed of it since I know I didn't really choose to bee this way, but I'm still not tellig anyone on facepunch. The only person I've told is laurencedgreat via PM. Specifically, I like dogs and horses the most. Have you ever seen a horses dick before? It's fucking awesome.[/QUOTE] Nope, I haven't.

[quote]Because of this, I've been exiled to wear a mask whenever i go out[/quote] Become a luchador and wrestle everyone in town.

[quote] Basically, I love helping people, but hate those people for being idiots... ...this confession makes no sense when I read it back to myself. Oh well. [/quote] I kind of know how you feel. I love helping people fix stuff, but it drives me absolutely nuts when people come to me with dumb stuff to fix - "FIX MY RIPPED SOCK" or "FIX MY BROKEN WINDOW" are my all time favorite ones to laugh at though.

[QUOTE=Yahnich;33097319]There is seriously something people need to get straight. You CAN be a nice guy and be dating material. Usually the 'nice' guys are spineless cowards that ask girls out way too late and kiss the floor she walks on. This is why chicks seem to always date 'jerks'. Sure, sometimes they're pompous assholes, but usually it's just because they know what they want and they went for it.[/QUOTE] Actually girls that have half a brain tell those guys to fuck off in about a second but heyo. Common sense is a rarity these days.(For either sex)

Don't flush condoms down toilets, it's horrible for the water system. My brother does water engineering stuff (I don't remember what exactly it is, but he did stuff with water treatment etc.)

[QUOTE]Alcohol is trying to fuck me in the ass. I've had a girlfriend of sorts for the past year and a-little-more-than-half or so. We've never talked about making it official or referred to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend, so I'm still not sure where we stand officially. I actually prefer it that way, as I prefer to fly solo most of the time. Luckily she's independent herself, so we're not a typical "gotta be around each other 24/7" couple. Whenever we have sex, I use a condom. Common sense. However, it appears that alcohol makes my penis incredibly slippery or some shit because condoms absolutely refuse to stay on whenever I have drunken sex with this girl. To make things worse, you typically lose some feeling down there once you reach a certain point of inebriation so I don't even notice is half the time. Last night was the second time we had drunken sex. I busted my nut, then realized the condom wasn't on when I got up to flush it down the toilet. Did it fall off when I pulled out? Was it off the whole time? Fuuuuuuck. Looks like I'm going to be shitting bricks for a while until she has her period. I think that's due pretty soon, so hopefully it won't be that long of w ait. Also, I've been posting and shit with alts and get nothing but winners and agrees every time, despite not changing my ideologies at all. Dumb faggots on facepunch were disagreeing with me just because of who I was, haha. Stay classy, gayboys.[/QUOTE] Sup maverick. Really, dude, really? If this is Maverick, you posted earlier in the thread under an alt calling someone a dumbass for getting a chick pregnant at a pool. I kind of miss you/Maverick. He/You was/were alpha as fuck and actually gave good advice.

Well, time to play the waiting game for our next dose of confessions.