He's either too busy or hasn't gotten any/enough confessions. Just be patient.
Help I am too gay to play videogames
[QUOTE=Onyx3173;33495620]He's either too busy or hasn't gotten any/enough confessions. Just be patient.[/QUOTE]
I've been pretty busy. All my finals in computer programming are coming up, I've spent much longer working because of this. Also, my girlfriend broke up with me and things have been a mess, but I'll get back to posting soon, I promise!
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;33507117]I've been pretty busy. All my finals in computer programming are coming up, I've spent much longer working because of this. Also, my girlfriend broke up with me and things have been a mess, but I'll get back to posting soon, I promise![/QUOTE]
Where is Maverick.
[QUOTE=Potato-Pugilist;33505754]Help I am too gay to play videogames[/QUOTE]
Get a Mac
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;33507117]I've been pretty busy. All my finals in computer programming are coming up, I've spent much longer working because of this. Also, my girlfriend broke up with me and things have been a mess, but I'll get back to posting soon, I promise![/QUOTE]
You should take as much time as you need. You've been updating the thread more often than Hezzy was even when you've taken a few days to so. I think we can manage for longer than that.
[QUOTE=thewarbrokeout;33468749]The reason for the porn threads I believe is that you don't get the shitty content (which there is loads of) that you get when you just search for it. Also, I find it interesting because there's always a chance I will see something new that I like, which I wouldn't get with a regular search.[/QUOTE]
Talking about "shitty content" referring to weird porn is somewhat ironic, don't you think?
Bwaa poor OP. You should send yourself a anonymous message to yourself to get it off your chest lol. But yeah take your time
[QUOTE=notebook_holder;33510066]Bwaa poor OP. You should send yourself a anonymous message to yourself to get it off your chest lol. But yeah take your time[/QUOTE]
I'd probably make fun of my confession, then get banned for flaming my self. :v:
Do it anyway.
[QUOTE=notebook_holder;33495458]Where's OogalaBoogal? Is no one getting molested anymore?[/QUOTE]
Yeah. My neighbor told me that she's had enough.
[QUOTE=JumJum;33528699]Yeah. My neighbor told me that she's had enough.[/QUOTE]
Pshh don't worry about your neighbors opinion she's a woman! Keep going strong.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;33507117]I've been pretty busy. All my finals in computer programming are coming up, I've spent much longer working because of this. Also, my girlfriend broke up with me and things have been a mess, but I'll get back to posting soon, I promise![/QUOTE]
I know that feeling bro :(
Still not feeling that good, but hopefully getting back posting around here will do good things for me! Helping/Making fun of people always makes me feel better.
[QUOTE]First time doing one of these, so lets just jump right in.
My problem is partially a blessing and also a curse. Let me start off with a bit of background.
Well I hate to sound pompous, but everyone I know likes me. Or at least, they don't have anything against me or are just impartial.
I never get mad at people. I can get frustrated, but even that's pretty rare. I try to make the best out of every situation that comes my way. Hell, my best friend crashed the car almost killing me and next thing I know I'm at the hospital cracking jokes about the situation with him while the doc is stitching up my hand and forehead. Not even a "What the fuck man? You coulda killed me!"
I hear this alot. "Anon, your one of the nicest people I know."
You may be thinking "Oh god, is this one of those stories where the nice guy gets exploited by his jerk friends?"
Not at all. I'm very aware of the people I hang out with and they are all very good about doing stuff like pitching in for dinner, gas and such. So yea, great group of friends. We have the best times doing the most random shit.
So anyways, to the problem.
Ever since elementary school, I have been completely oblivious to the intentions of the female mind. Girls will come up and talk to me at parties and such. Sometimes I feel like they are hitting on me and want something more, but I'm never sure and I just end up cracking jokes and making the people around me laugh. From that moment on, the dreaded "Friend Zone" is entered.
I got together with a couple of close friends from High School recently. Now these are the guys who have legitimately seen you through the best and worst of times. Not that guy you see in the parking lot everyday and say have a short chat on the elevator with on the way to the office. We know more about each other then I think we each know about ourselves. Most of these guys I knew since my first year in elementary school. So anyways, we were catching up and sharing stories, and all of them have girl friends at this point and they are also sharing funny hook up stories. Noticing I have nothing to contribute, one of them says
"So what about you anon? Any hookups?"
"Nope."
Then there's that moment where everyone is like "Wuuuuuuuuut"
I go on and explain my situation about being to friendly with people. Immediately they understand.
Two of them tell me different things. We'll call them A and B
So A says: "Bro, you got a great thing going. Having a legion of great friends is more than anyone can ask for. When that one special girl comes along, she'll know it and you'll know it and you will finally get the courage to take the extra push to go the distance.
B says in reply: "Knowing you man, you'll give her your standup routine and nothing will happen. You were never good with women."
So there you go. Thats my story. I don't recall seeing to many other confessions like this regarding the dreaded friend zone. Advice would be much appreciated. Think I should keep the course as the nice guy? I feel like if I start making "that push" to go further with a girl though, I might seem like a jerk. And that's one of my all time fears. Seeming like a jerk. I dont like having people think I'm an inconsiderate jack ass. I always want to give that friendly vibe and likable vibe.
Thats my story. Thoughts?[/QUOTE] Don't be a jerk. Really. Being friendly is awesome, and it has got me my fair share of ladies. Someone will ALWAYS like you for who you are. Don't worry about pushing to try to get any girl to hook up with you. You are better than that. You'll know when it happens. And it will be great. I'm pretty sure one of my good friends got his current girlfriends because of his standup. No joke. I'll text him right now, and I'll get back to you.
[QUOTE]So, I haven't told anyone about this yet because I wasn't sure if there was a way to get him help or anything and maybe he's just being eccentric but he's always been.. off.
So recently we've hung out and he's been telling us that he hears voices. Like he says that the Nightmother talks to him and tells him to do things. We asked what she asks him to do and apparently it's kill people. I have no idea what to think about that, we asked him who the Nightmother is and why we can't hear her and he told us she's dead and only he can hear her because he's the 'Listener.'
So here I am now thinking my friend is a paranoid schizophrenic and I have no idea what to do.
[/QUOTE] Tell his parents, or who ever that looks after him about it. If you think he needs help, its probably in your best interest to get him some help. It's important that someone raise the warning flags. If you don't, who will?
[QUOTE]I don't feel good about myself, even though I act it. I always come off as this guy who knows what he is doing, but I really have no idea. People always say be confident, but I know I am not, I just act like I am. I am actually worried that I am going to screw up all the time, that I'm going to hut someone else, or myself. I hate it. I want to be confident as to what I am doing, and not take stupid risks that always end with someone hurting.[/QUOTE] Stop taking so much things that you know are risks, and you'll get the hang of it.
I'd love it if you guys sent in some more submissions. I'm running out of confessions, and you know, if you are worried that is not good enough, or your thoughts are not interesting enough to be in this thread, you are completely wrong.
[QUOTE]
So, I haven't told anyone about this yet because I wasn't sure if there was a way to get him help or anything and maybe he's just being eccentric but he's always been.. off.
So recently we've hung out and he's been telling us that he hears voices. Like he says that the Nightmother talks to him and tells him to do things. We asked what she asks him to do and apparently it's kill people. I have no idea what to think about that, we asked him who the Nightmother is and why we can't hear her and he told us she's dead and only he can hear her because he's the 'Listener.'
So here I am now thinking my friend is a paranoid schizophrenic and I have no idea what to do.[/QUOTE]
someone played a little too much skyrim
[QUOTE=Rediscover;33561383]someone played a little too much skyrim[/QUOTE]
"Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear."
[quote]
So, I haven't told anyone about this yet because I wasn't sure if there was a way to get him help or anything and maybe he's just being eccentric but he's always been.. off.
So recently we've hung out and he's been telling us that he hears voices. Like he says that the Nightmother talks to him and tells him to do things. We asked what she asks him to do and apparently it's kill people. I have no idea what to think about that, we asked him who the Nightmother is and why we can't hear her and he told us she's dead and only he can hear her because he's the 'Listener.'
So here I am now thinking my friend is a paranoid schizophrenic and I have no idea what to do. [/quote]
Does he hallucenate anything? if not, chances are he either isn't one and is faking, has an overreactive imagination, or has a very light case of schitzophrenia.
[QUOTE=Zakkin;33565364]Does he hallucenate anything? if not, chances are he either isn't one and is faking, has an overreactive imagination, or has a very light case of schitzophrenia.[/QUOTE]
It's from Skyrim.
[QUOTE=Artyom;33569952]It's from Skyrim.[/QUOTE]
Oh. Darn.
[QUOTE=Artyom;33569952]It's from Skyrim.[/QUOTE]
I should have caught that, but I have been behind on my gaming quota.
[QUOTE=Artyom;33569952]It's from Skyrim.[/QUOTE]
And Oblivion
[QUOTE=Arcana;33571636]And Oblivion[/QUOTE]
Possibly even Morrowind.
It seems to be about Cicero from Skyrim. That guy was one creepy jester.
Whenever I had sex with my ex-girlfriend I used to make faces like in this video. Actually I always tried to give her a sexy look but once she closed her eyes or when she could not see my face, I completely spazzed my face out. It is awesome :v:
[media][url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY&ob=av3e[/url][/media]
[QUOTE=junker|154;33586043]Whenever I had sex with my ex-girlfriend I used to make faces like in this video. Actually I always tried to give her a sexy look but once she closed her eyes or when she could not see my face, I completely spazzed my face out. It is awesome :v:
[media][url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY&ob=av3e[/url][/media][/QUOTE]
whoa man I wonder who posted that confession
it's so anonymous I don't even.. just
whoa
[QUOTE]Hi Fp,
My confession today is that I am bad with women, but let me explain, I have had two wonderful girlfriends in the past and I am currently looking for a girlfriend now but when I comes to picking women up in a club I suck, I have never taken a girl home when drunk for a quick 1 night stand, I've had the opportunities but never carried it out, I've been to a few places around the world and I have even had one girl say "ill be your girlfriend tonight" i never went anywhere with it.
I also had a chance with a lovely girl 2 weeks ago but I spilt her drink which caused a bar fight so i'm too embarrassed to talk to her again after that. I wish I had but I didn't. Advice FP? I am a nice guy, confident, not bad looking, i just suck at taking girls home. [/QUOTE] Have you ever though you just are not the guy to take girls home from clubs? Maybe the club isn't the place you should be looking for ladies.
[QUOTE]I fancy asking this girl out for a date. But when I decided to ask her out, she became ill and I haven't seen her for a few weeks. Is she avoiding me because she's a vampire mind reader (like the ones from being human or Dracula, not twilight) and for both our goods she doesn't want anything to happen.[/QUOTE] Give her the benefit of the doubt. Talk to her on IM or SMS. If she responds, and says that she is sick, she's probably sick. Ask her friends?
[QUOTE]I don't know if this qualifies as a confession or not. Please pardon stupid teenage babblings.
I like to be cruel. When I try to be a nice person all I feel is pain and shame at every little mistake I make, every time I mess up socially because I have no clue what to say, every time I screw up at home, I'm self-conscious, and no matter how hard I try there's nothing I can do about it. I try to avoid but no matter how careful I am I will always stop thinking for a few minutes and end up with someone screaming at me. When I have friends, the closer we get the more I seem to mess up until we just stop talking. When I'm trying to be cruel however, I don't notice it, I'm not a nervous wreck and the pain stops. I can't help it, my problem just gets worse every year.
Most people I try to talk to tell me to get one of those lame help books or a psychologist. Every time I try to fix something about me, it fails, and I gave up long ago. [/QUOTE]"lame help books or a psychologist" You haven't tried it, so you haven't known. Really, go to the library and pick one up. It's not your fault that you make mistakes. Try to learn from them, not hate yourself for them. You should create a better means of communication with your friends, so they can know how you feel about this.
[QUOTE]Dear Facepunch Anonymous Confessional,
I am sexually attracted to, for no real reason, the UH-1Y Venom currently in service by the USMC. I don't know why, the first sign of my attraction came when I saw it's wikipedia page a couple months or so back. I don't even know how it would go down, but whenever I think about it I get a slight boner. Whats worse, I intend on joining the United States Marine Corps. I don't know what will happen but I'm not exactly excited.
But don't get me started on the UH1 Huey, piece of shit can go suck a dick for all I care.
Sincerely, █ █ █ █ █ █ █.[/QUOTE]
Not sure if serious or not.
[QUOTE]Dear Facepunch Anonymous Confessional,
I am sexually attracted to, for no real reason, the UH-1Y Venom currently in service by the USMC. I don't know why, the first sign of my attraction came when I saw it's wikipedia page a couple months or so back. I don't even know how it would go down, but whenever I think about it I get a slight boner. Whats worse, I intend on joining the United States Marine Corps. I don't know what will happen but I'm not exactly excited.
But don't get me started on the UH1 Huey, piece of shit can go suck a dick for all I care.
Sincerely, █ █ █ █ █ █ █.[/QUOTE]
Gee I wonder who this is
[QUOTE]I don't know if this qualifies as a confession or not. Please pardon stupid teenage babblings.
I like to be cruel. When I try to be a nice person all I feel is pain and shame at every little mistake I make, every time I mess up socially because I have no clue what to say, every time I screw up at home, I'm self-conscious, and no matter how hard I try there's nothing I can do about it. I try to avoid but no matter how careful I am I will always stop thinking for a few minutes and end up with someone screaming at me. When I have friends, the closer we get the more I seem to mess up until we just stop talking. When I'm trying to be cruel however, I don't notice it, I'm not a nervous wreck and the pain stops. I can't help it, my problem just gets worse every year.
Most people I try to talk to tell me to get one of those lame help books or a psychologist. Every time I try to fix something about me, it fails, and I gave up long ago.[/QUOTE]
Know that feel, bro. Unfortunately, I [I]still[/I] know that feel, so I don't know how to help you. Though I've got a psychiatrist my self, that'll probably help.
[QUOTE]I don't know if this qualifies as a confession or not. Please pardon stupid teenage babblings.
I like to be cruel. When I try to be a nice person all I feel is pain and shame at every little mistake I make, every time I mess up socially because I have no clue what to say, every time I screw up at home, I'm self-conscious, and no matter how hard I try there's nothing I can do about it. I try to avoid but no matter how careful I am I will always stop thinking for a few minutes and end up with someone screaming at me. When I have friends, the closer we get the more I seem to mess up until we just stop talking. When I'm trying to be cruel however, I don't notice it, I'm not a nervous wreck and the pain stops. I can't help it, my problem just gets worse every year.
Most people I try to talk to tell me to get one of those lame help books or a psychologist. Every time I try to fix something about me, it fails, and I gave up long ago.[/QUOTE]
I actually know someone on FP who's a lot like this other than the teenager part. You should just keep at it, you're probably just being way too hard on yourself when you make mistakes just like them too. Just keep at it and you'll improve.
It seems like a lot of these confessions are about not knowing how to talk to girls. Seems like there should be a thread for that.
[QUOTE=hobblinharry;33599715]It seems like a lot of these confessions are about not knowing how to talk to girls. Seems like there should be a thread for that.[/QUOTE]
There is. Look in the chat threads. But in a lot of cases, it's not about knowing the advice but shit your mind does to you near women. How the fuck did natural selection let me be such a pussy when asking out girls?
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