• mymasturbation.com - Making you feel better about yourself.
    279 replies, posted
This is how my reaction goes. :crossarms: :raise: :aaa: :gonk:
:byodood:
Raw eggs feel like a wet mouth
I laughed so hard.
[QUOTE=Mister Cheez;18009555]what the fuck[/QUOTE] .
Most of these remind me of Facepunch Anonymous confessionals. Also: 95 reading???
[QUOTE=SumNormalguy;18013511]Most of these remind me of Facepunch Anonymous confessionals. Also: 95 reading???[/QUOTE] Guests saw the title, clicked the thread, and went to get some lube...
I find this kind of sad but I can't stop laughing. [QUOTE]Raw eggs feel like a wet mouth[/QUOTE] I lost it at this one. I'm sorry but there's just something about it. :v:
I feel glad that I never thought of masturbating using any of the methods, especially the one with baloney.
[quote]I enjoy masturbating with a nice French roll. Open up the French roll then add any type of lubricant you can think of! Fold the roll around your cock and hump away. I've used many lubricants but what really gets me going is ketchup, that way I can pretend that I am popping that nice tight pussy for the first time!!!!! NICE[/quote] I will never eat a French roll again. :geno:
[QUOTE=Swimbound;18009523] I use a big loudspeaker. I put my penis on the loudspeaker cone, play heavy music, and crank the bass and volume. It gives me a great orgasm. [url]www.mymasturbation.com[/url][/QUOTE] Thats the hottest shit I have read all day. Will try! Thanks babe.
:wtc: That's fucked up
[quote]I love to leave my apartment drapes open so that my married next door neighbor might see. I sit on a chair facing the window and lather up my cock with lotion. I hold my big balls tightly with one hand while I stroke my cock with the other. I bring my hand down the length of it and swirl it around the fat head. I jack it faster and faster. She has watched me many times. I always pretend I don't see her as I shoot my cum all over the place.[/quote] what a fucking badass
[quote] Soda-pop satisfies Even though I don't masturbate while driving on a constant basis, when I do it really is something. I'll stop and pick up a 20 oz. Classic Coke and before opening it I wait until I'm back on the road again and I place this cold Coke bottle between my legs and I ease the bottom of the Coke down and under me until I'm comfortable with its position and I'll hold the bottle top and force my cunt lips apart with just the right amount of pressure from pushing towards the bottle and pressure from me pushing into my rock hard love button. I use a back-and-forth rocking motion and I place more pressure on the bottle and I just let my self go and I simply just explode in an orgasmic wave of pure ecstasy and I cum and cum and cum and I'm always anticipating the next time I can do this again. [/quote] I fucking hope she kills somebody in car crash. [editline]10:50PM[/editline] [quote]About a week ago I was cleaning the aisles at work late at night at a hardware store and found this paint can shaker. You know the electric ones at paint supply places. Yup, you guessed it -- it clamps down on your cock perfectly and it has a setting of speeds I used this for like 45 seconds and kaboom. I shot hot cum all over it. Plus it doesn't hurt, it just tugs and wiggles before your cock gets hard your spraying down the aisles. God I love work!! [/quote] :fuckyou:
Gayest thread ever.
[QUOTE=Awesomecaek;18014501]I fucking hope he kills somebody in car crash.[/QUOTE] Err, isn't that a she?
[quote]I like to masturbate with someone with me. One time I was at my best friend's house and no one was there but me and him. He had just gotten out of the shower (he doesn't care who's there, he'll get naked anyway) and he took off his towel and his cock was just hanging there. He asked me if I wanted to jerk off so I took off my clothes and me and him were just jerking off. After that me and him licked each other's cum (but I'm not gay, I just like his cum). After that we fell asleep. [/quote] Oh my fucking god. I have 5 dicks in my mouth and 9 in the ass but i'm not gay, i suck my teacher's cock every day but i'm not gay
[QUOTE=Craigewan;18014928]Err, isn't that a she?[/QUOTE] I got confused by global gayness of the thread.
It's so sad to see all these group jacking off sessions, really. They just can't seem to get a girl friend because they are an ugly horny nerd of some sort. :suicide:
[quote]After that me and him licked each other's cum (but I'm not gay, I just like his cum).[/quote] :geno:
[quote]Raw eggs feel like a wet mouth.[/quote] This true?
[QUOTE=Freekill;18015747]This true?[/QUOTE] All I know is it tastes like snot.
[QUOTE]Raw eggs feel like a wet mouth.[/QUOTE] what
coins: stick as many coins as you can up your butt, bounce up and down and listen to the change jingle while you jerk this gets me every time and i cum and try to drink it up it works wonders for my prostate lesions
I'm glad the only methods I've tried aren't too embarrassing compared to these. I remember when I was 13 and the was a tissue box, the ones with the oval opening with a little plastic, lets just say there was no mess to clean up.
Having sex with another man isn't gay, it's actually very, very sad. These men aren't happy (gay) because they had to resort to sexing a man because of their lack of women.
These cant be real
[QUOTE=Scope0;18018101]These cant be real[/QUOTE] I see what you mean, i could make up one really easily. "Once, while I was masturbating, I accidentally jerked up too much, and punched my self in the nose. It started bleeding, but I was still horny. Lets just say using your own blood make the orgasm just a little better, especially when your friend licks the cum/blood mess off of his own ass!" See, not that hard.
Sorry what I ment to say was that I agree with you.
[QUOTE=john_pelphre;18018208]I see what you mean, i could make up one really easily. "Once, while I was masturbating, I accidentally jerked up too much, and punched my self in the nose. It started bleeding, but I was still horny. Lets just say using your own blood make the orgasm just a little better, especially when your friend likes the cum/blood mess off of his own ass!" See, not that hard.[/QUOTE] That's actually hot :blush:
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