mymasturbation.com - Making you feel better about yourself.
279 replies, posted
[QUOTE=jota de;18018224]That's actually hot :blush:[/QUOTE]
Oh what the fuck?
[QUOTE=jota de;18018224]That's actually hot :blush:[/QUOTE]
No...No it is not.
[QUOTE=jota de;18018224]That's actually hot :blush:[/QUOTE]
You're insane.
Another website with some pretty interesting stories, I've never seen it posted on FP, may as well post it here, add it to the OP if you wish:
[url]http://www.healthystrokes.com/[/url]
Oh what the fuck
The first one makes me imagine hair getting stuck inside my penis.
First one made me laugh my ass off.
Rest of them are just... [img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/emoot/crying.gif[/img]
3rd one is really REALLY gay.
I'm kinda getting turned on reading some of these girls ones.
[quote][b]Cold carrot[/b]
I masturbate two to four times a day, usually with my fingers, but sometimes I grab a cold carrot and slide it in my ass. I've even rubbed my sister's teddy bear all over my pussy without telling her. It's okay, she does the same with my pillows. [/quote]
:raise:
[quote]I like to masturbate with someone with me. One time I was at my best friend's house and no one was there but me and him. He had just gotten out of the shower (he doesn't care who's there, he'll get naked anyway) and he took off his towel and his cock was just hanging there. He asked me if I wanted to jerk off so I took off my clothes and me and him were just jerking off. After that me and him licked each other's cum (but I'm not gay, I just like his cum). After that we fell asleep.[/quote]
[img]http://slurmed.com/fanart/paul/149_gaydar.gif[/img]
what is this i don't even
:unsmigghh:
Happened upon reading OP.
I thought listening to Beethoven while masturbating was weird until I read this.
Is it gay to fuck your hair?
the nail one made me almost cry just picturing it.... some kids dad at my school had to go to the hostpital because he cut off the two handles of a jump rope (the plastic material ones, not the ones that have little plastic tubes around a rope)... and he slid that whole fucker up... he spent the night in the hostpital getting it removed from his bladder.
Fapping will never be the same now [img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/emoot/crying.gif[/img]
These are mostly trolls.
This is the best thing I've seen in the past week.
[QUOTE=Jakobi;18020548]These are mostly trolls.[/QUOTE]
Who exactly would they be trolling?
As far as I'm concered, only strange.... people visit this site.
[QUOTE=zerglingv2;18020606]This is the best thing I've seen in the past week.[/QUOTE]
Have you seen this?
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=831864[/url]
[QUOTE=bulletshield;18020725]Who exactly would they be trolling?
As far as I'm concered, only strange.... people visit this site.[/QUOTE]
"lol maybe i can get someone to fuck a bunch of nails"
This is just....
I don't....
What the eff....
There's a whole lot of denial going on over there.
FP, i'm scared.
Jesus fucking chirst
Oh dear god what
I don't even
what
Words can't explain
[quote]Filing time (Note: this is potentially dangerous and not recommended)
I have a filing cabinet in my room with some very heavily loaded drawers. I like to get totally naked and stroke my cock a little to warm-up for a real workout. I tie a piece of strong thick string around one of the heavier drawer's handles with many knots so there's no chance of it coming loose. Then I tie the other end tightly to my cock, about halfway down the shaft. Then I like to walk backwards away from the filing cabinet. This pulls hard on my cock, the string usually sliding to the end of it, just under the head. If it's tied tightly enough, I can carry on walking backwards, with a lot of strain on my cock which causes more and more arousal making me want to jerk off. When I untie and wank my cock is red and painful making Masturbation Tutor session much more intense. [/quote]
[quote]Furniture fun
Sometimes I'll use drawer handles to masturbate with. Feels better with a condom. If they are too tight loosen them with a screw driver if you can, stick your penis in the hole and go to town. You might even want to take the whole drawer out for added comfort. [/quote]
[quote]Party Time
Head over to Party City and buy a pair of those inflatable feet. They are usually really big. Inflate it until almost full, but you can bend it a little. Now fold it in half so that the place where you put your foot in is sticking up. You should have formed two holes now. Lube them both and stick your dick right in. I like doing this when looking in the mirror. I get off so damn fast. Sometimes I rub oil on my nipples. I explode everywhere and my hard throbbing cock is still asking for more. [/quote]
[quote]Blowing Fantasy
I love to play with my cock and pick out sexy blow jobs pics. I lay in bed nude and have the picture of the one I'm hot on at that time. I put it close to my face and look close on the action and talk to the picture. [/quote]
[quote]Picture this
I look at pics of girls with their legs wide open and a huge dick pumping their pink pussies and I keep on watching until I have a huge orgasm. The cum is so hot it comes out of my pants and all over my hands and then I lick it. [/quote]
[quote]Just like pussy
I like to go down to my local supermarket and buy an average raw chicken breast. I chuck it in the microwave to warm it up and when warm cut a slit in it and fuck away like crazy. It feels great and is the closest thing to a real pussy. [/quote]
:frog:
[QUOTE=En-Guage V2;18023015]Jesus fucking chirst
Oh dear god what
I don't even
what
Words can't explain[/QUOTE]
^
For above
Dear god
FP has done all this. amirite?
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