• mymasturbation.com - Making you feel better about yourself.
    279 replies, posted
What in the actual holy fucknoodlesandwiches with extra gravy.
Oh my god, he's wacked
Is it really that hard to go out and buy a sex toy.. Instead of using chickens and teddy bears!:saddowns:
[quote]Now this might be kind of hard but it works. Grease your hair (really). Works best with long hair -- and yes, the hair on your head. Then bend down REALLY FAR. Stick your cock in your hair put on some rock music and head bang. This is the most maximum pleasure ever![/quote] [img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/rating/wrench.png[/img]
I like to get high, start driving my tractor trailer and flip it while masturbating. Always gets me off. [url]http://jalopnik.com/5366788/dutchman-flips-tractor-trailer-while-masturbating-doesnt-stop[/url]
My faith in humanity is officially lost :v: :suicide:
[quote]My boyfriend is gay, so that leaves the sex pleasure to myself. I take a brush and put Vaseline on it. Stick it in your pussy and twist it. Then squeeze your clit hard. If you get a ""feeling"" take out the brush and do it over again. When you finally can't resist, you should cum easily. [/quote] wat
I think we all tried the greasy hair one by now.
[QUOTE=Probydoby;18026386]I think we all tried the greasy hair one by now.[/QUOTE] No...No...Please, god, no.
[QUOTE=acds;18009694]When I was younger (like 12) I knew a guy (around two years older than me) who had group masturbation sessions with his friends, like 5 people sitting on the same couch jacking off wildly while watching porn. I went :geno: when he told me (partly because I was thinking "Why the hell are you telling me?"). And no, I never joined him and his friends in case someone was wondering.[/QUOTE] oh well, gaybow anyway
Two kids jerked each other off at a party, on a trampoline, for a Tracy McGrady rookie card.
[QUOTE=CMasta;18029688]Two kids jerked each other off at a party, on a trampoline, for a Tracy McGrady rookie card.[/QUOTE] That party sounds...[i]exciting[/i]. :downsrim:
Joy of cola Take a 2 liter filled up pop and shake it very hard. Then put it under your pussy and take off the cap and let it explode all over your pussy, and feel the joy of cola..... :cawg:
After reading some of these i want to kill myself.
:ohdear: Wheres the suicidecannon when its needed?
>_>
Nevermind, found it :suicide:
[QUOTE=Ryzo;18030108]Joy of cola Take a 2 liter filled up pop and shake it very hard. Then put it under your pussy and take off the cap and let it explode all over your pussy, and feel the joy of cola..... :cawg:[/QUOTE] That reminds me of an experiment I have always wanted to do. I want to pour some coke in a chicks vag and then drop some mentos in and see what happens.
[QUOTE=raviool;18009561]"im not gay i just like another mans cum"[/QUOTE] fag in denial [editline]10:20PM[/editline] [QUOTE=yawmwen;18030407]That reminds me of an experiment I have always wanted to do. I want to pour some coke in a chicks vag and then drop some mentos in and see what happens.[/QUOTE] She gives birth to a molten black baby.
[quote]There are many ways I like to masturbate. However, my favorite is to actually suck myself off. I put my legs over my head, bring my cock to my mouth and start by licking the head. Slowly I lick all around squeezing out loads of pre-juice. After a while I can lick up and down the shaft and slide the entire head into my mouth. I pump my mouth till I can't hold back any more then shoot a huge load down my throat.[/quote] :saddowns:
[QUOTE=Swimbound;18009893]What could possible go wrong?[/QUOTE]I once read a story about an idiot that actually tried sticking a needle in his penis on some random sex advice site. Long story short, someone ended up walking in on him, and he was caught off guard and inevitably jammed the needle to the side. That bro had to go to the hospital, and, to this day, he says he still feels the burning when he urinates.
[QUOTE=Doug52392;18032598]I once read a story about an idiot that actually tried sticking a needle in his penis on some random sex advice site. Long story short, someone ended up walking in on him, and he was caught off guard and inevitably jammed the needle to the side. That bro had to go to the hospital, and, to this day, he says he still feels the burning when he urinates.[/QUOTE] :ohdear:
[QUOTE=john_pelphre;18019638][img]http://filesmelt.com/downloader/191.png[/img] [/QUOTE] Wish I could sit across from her on the bus :3
[QUOTE=CMasta;18029688]Two kids jerked each other off at a party, on a trampoline, for a Tracy McGrady rookie card.[/QUOTE] Gave you a funny. Especially over a TMAC card.
[b]I like to look at some porn like a movie or a book. Then I lie on my stomach (on carpet) and while looking at the porn I rub my cock on the carpet. It feels great![/b] GOD THAT SOUNDS FUCKING PAINFUL
Bengay on the balls
"I'm not gay but..." x 1000
[QUOTE=john_pelphre;18020740]Have you seen this? [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=831864[/url][/QUOTE] Yes :q:
The balogna sound good. :q:
Thread: :q:
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