mymasturbation.com - Making you feel better about yourself.
279 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Swimbound;18009893]What could possible go wrong?[/QUOTE]
bme
[QUOTE=Silversoda;18069955]Imagine how awkward that'd be if he denies.[/QUOTE]
"Hey, you wanna handjob? I'll give you one if you give me one!"
"Um, no, that'd be gay."
"..."
"..."
"So, uh, Call of Duty split screen?"
Oh wow, just wow.
I remember this shit, more than half of it is fucking nasty :v:
Ohhhh gooood why did i keep reading they get worse not better.
Now why in fuck's name would you shove a nail in your dick?
isn't the internet just awesome
Acrylic paint. Now I bet THAT is healthy.
I like how the majority of stories are under the category... "Caught by Mom Masturbating."
[quote]I use a big loudspeaker. I put my penis on the loudspeaker cone, play heavy music, and crank the bass and volume. It gives me a great orgasm.[/quote]
And then the willy melts.
:downs:
[QUOTE=fritzel;18438201]And then the willy melts.[/QUOTE]
...that or the speaker blows out.
[img]http://www.facepunch.com/image.php?u=232757&dateline=1258469169[/img] + [img]http://www.facepunch.com/image.php?u=203406&dateline=1257638840[/img]
Most fitting avatar chain ever.
Why not just to.. fap like you always do? It never gets old.
This site is amazing.
[QUOTE=varj;18440510]Why not just to.. fap like you always do? It never gets old.[/QUOTE]
Well thats no fun.
[quote]When nighttime comes around, like 12 o'clock midnight, I love to escape to my backyard. I strip off all my clothes and start jacking off on the cement. There are four houses that have windows that can see into my backyard. The very thrill that they might be watching turns me on. In fact, just the other night the girl next door was watching me through her window. Through the corner of my eye I could see her peeking through her curtain. I acted like I didn't know and stayed out there for almost an hour until I came in the grass.[/quote]
I sure as hell fucking hope that this guy isnt my neighbor :ohdear:
also I got permission to bump this, so it doesnt get remade
Oh god what.
[quote]sometimes, i'll refrain from jerking for a long time (for me, that's 2-3 days). Then when i get all hot, i'll rent xxx movies and start jerking. I like to squat down on the floor and lean against my bed. That allows me to stick my finger up my ass easily. I always lube my ass, sometimes my dick too. I jerk until i can't stand it, until i'm gonna cum. Then i stop! You have to have the discipline to do it *right before*. If you do it right, your penis will jerk and ejaculate on its own, but you won't orgasm! Hold your hand out to catch your warm cum, but don't touch your dick at all or you'll misfire your orgasm while you're ejaculating. After the squirting, i like to shove my cum up my ass, rub it on my face, and eat it. I'm usually grossed by this, but not at this point! Then i use my still-warm cum as a natural, and very excellent lubricant and resume the jerking. I explode! If you have the control, you can do this multiple times. I've done it four times before i can't stand it.[/quote]
:wtc:
this thread again
[quote]I like to masturbate with someone with me. One time I was at my best friend's house and no one was there but me and him. He had just gotten out of the shower (he doesn't care who's there, he'll get naked anyway) and he took off his towel and his cock was just hanging there. He asked me if I wanted to jerk off so I took off my clothes and me and him were just jerking off. After that me and him licked each other's cum (but I'm not gay, I just like his cum). After that we fell asleep.[/quote]
[img]http://i55.tinypic.com/14mvyfb.jpg[/img]
SO MANy RAINBOWS.
[quote]Block your cock
This is just for uncut guys. Do whatever masturbation technique you normally do but when you're ready to blow your load, put your cock up against something or someone. Then right before you're about to explode, pull back your foreskin as far back as you can, and hold it there until you're done cumming. This feels amazing. If you do it right, it'll feel like it's stuck and won't come out at first, but then all of a sudden it explodes out of your cock like a freight train. The sensations are amazing.[/quote]
Like a freight train.
Is this seriously a year old? God fucking damn, it feels like the first time I saw this thread was just a couple months ago.
I really need to do more in my life.
[QUOTE=Upgrade123;24850762]Is this seriously a year old? God fucking damn, it feels like the first time I saw this thread was just a couple months ago.
I really need to do more in my life.[/QUOTE]
dont worry, I made this OP what feels like yesterday
[quote] i usually masturbate after a bath [/quote]
this is fucked up.
:barf:
[QUOTE=HazeFyer23;24850498]Like a freight train.[/QUOTE]
Freight trains explode out of my penis all the time. It got annoying after a while, but then I started aiming it at people out of boredom.
[B]FREIGHT TRAIN COCK BLAAAAAST!!![/B]
[quote]When our husbands are at work, my twenty-three year old girlfriend and I explore new ways to make ourselves cum. We are not lesbians, but we do enjoy showing each other how we fuck ourselves. There is nothing as exciting as having your fingers deep in your pussy, your nipple in your mouth, and a vibrator on your clit, while at the same time you are watching your young girlfriend jam a dildo deep inside her tight ass as she rides her hand just inches from your face. I love the smell of her pussy while I masturbate. The better I fuck myself, the wetter and more sweet she smells. This, in turn, causes me to fuck myself even harder and deeper. Masturbating with a girlfriend is wild and super sexy.[/quote]
I'm alright with this one.
this site makes me feel better about myself because it makes me realize I'm not as fucked up as the idiots posting these (probably true) stories
[quote]This works the best when nobody is home. Set up a camera in the bathroom, or wherever you get horny. Record yourself masturbating, and when you play it back, you have yourself your own porno. This works better if you dress up in female clothes and strip down. If you don't record your face, it [b]almost looks like a woman.[/b][/quote]
You know, 'cept for the penis.
[QUOTE]I love to stick dildos up my ass or something with a round head. I keep using bigger ones. I leave it in and go about my day. I wear panties that are tight enough in the back that it will hold the object in my ass for as long as I want. Everything you feels better, especially driving (with the vibrations and bumps). After a few hours of great pleasure, I slide the object in and out of my anus while jerking off.[/QUOTE]
All day? Seriously?
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.