Embarrassing Situations thread V.2: I shoved a pencil into my anus - General

I keep having people talk to me and then I end up not being able to hold a conversation, mainly with new people. It's not embarrassing at first but after like 5 or 6 consecutive conversations that don't get further than "How are you" it really shows how bad I am at communicating with people I don't know and then it's just embarrassing and makes me feel like a bit of a spanner.

Well 5 minutes ago I was sitting on the toilet and there on the counter was my tube of astroglide. Turns out I left it in the shower last night :X

Looking back on the threads I've made :suicide:

I've been developing a terrible habit of accidentally cutting off customers whenever I try to ask them if they need help. "Hello, sir/ma'm, can I help you with anything today?" "Oh, no thank you, I'm fi-" "Ok"

Ever come late to class? How about while your class is watching a movie? Oh, you do? ... How about during a sex scene?

That thread I made 36 months ago I don't think I'll ever get over it, what was I even thinking

[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;40127725]I've been developing a terrible habit of accidentally cutting off customers whenever I try to ask them if they need help. "Hello, sir/ma'm, can I help you with anything today?" "Oh, no thank you, I'm fi-" "Ok"[/QUOTE] I'm having trouble figuring out when people ACTUALLY finish their sentences on the phone. Like: "That's my problem. So I need *this* *this* and *this.*" *Talking pauses* "Alright, you just need t--" "Also I ne-- Huh?" "Hm?" "Huuuh?" *Discussion continues normally* :v:

I changed lanes before and cut off a hearse from the rest of it's following cars, I just panicked and made the decision before I realized what I had done. Than proceeded to be stuck in slow traffic for a good 10 minutes before shamefully moving off again in a different direction.

There is no reason to create another thread for this. The other one is there It not being on the front page is a crap reason to make a new thread

[QUOTE=Zeke129;40123789]He just wanted an excuse to do that[/QUOTE] Constantly I see police do this, I think it's literally the one thing they want to do every day is lead a funeral and be able to block off intersections with screeching sideway stops with there lights on. I find it awesome and funny as hell.

Didn't happen to me but today my mother tried to save some money at Tesco by giving the cashier her coupons. So she's back from shopping and she asks me if I know why the cashier wouldn't accept the coupons, she gives me one of them, I look at it and it's actually a receipt saying "You've save *amounts of cash* today!". When I told her that it was a receipt she looked at it and immediately left my room embarrassed.

During first grade we had a school-wide big joke competition held at the gymnasium, we'd go on stage and tell a joke with the entire school as our audience, and at the end the best one would get a prize. I was around 7 years old at that time, and I suddenly got an idea for the best joke ever. When the teachers asked who would like to go next, I raised my hand and walked on stage, picked up the mic and told the joke I thought of a minute earlier. "why do polar bears have colorful poop?" entire audience falls silent "they ate colored chalk" What ensued was the equivalent of a golf clap, while I desceded off the stage and walked to my friends who had a "what did you just do" look on their faces, one of them almost dying of laughter.

I hadn't used private browsing one night. A couple of friends came over the next and proceeded to look through my history once I was asleep. Unfortunately, for me, someone had just covered one of the websites in horse/animal porn. Needless to say, they now think I'm into animal porn.

I have recently gotten into long boarding. My friend gave me one of his old longboards, which he loosened the trucks on, making it very wobbly, but easy to turn on. the other day I was heading over to my friends to pick up some pay for a job I did for him. Usually I would ride my bike, but I left it at a friends house. I was a little unsure on using my longboard, as I had only been riding for no longer than a week and was very prone to wiping out, especially since it was so wobbly. I didn't mind wiping out but I didn't want anyone to see it. But I said what the fuck I'll just go for it. I looked out my window, everyone was inside. It was a beautiful day out too. I walked outside, and 2 girls and a guy are turning the corner to walk down my street. So I'm thinking great, I'm probably gonna wipe out. I told myself just ride, you'll be fine. So I did. Three pushes on my longboard and after the third push I started to wobble. I'm thinking in my head shitshitshitshitshitshit and I finally fell of the longboard and yelled fuckshit. the most embarrassing part was when I landed, I caught myself and landed in some weird position that looked like I was either playing twister or that I was a ninja. I heard the people down the street laughing and I immediately got up and started to chase my board down the street. I picked up, figured I'd give it one more go. I wiped out. I walked the rest of the way EDIT: Just remembered another embarrassing moment I was at preschool and it was play time out in the playground and me and my friends were filling buckets up with sand, and sliding them up and down one of the play houses. one of the times I pushed to hard, and the bucket went flying over the roof, and had apparently landed on a baby's head. Now one of the teachers called me over and was like "ok now tell me the truth did you do it on purpose or on accident" and for some reason I forgot what the difference between on purpose and on accident so not knowing I said on purpose. I had to sit out of all the activities for the rest of the day

"Gee slipping this creepy love note in a locker of this hot girl I knew for 3 days will totally win her heart, god im a genius" -My beta 12 year old self

[QUOTE=Iago;40138835]"Gee slipping this creepy love note in a locker of this hot girl I knew for 3 days will totally win her heart, god im a genius" -My beta 12 year old self[/QUOTE] Same story with me... except it was a slightly creepy note with my number on it.

Speaking of relationships. Kinda a long one sorry guys. I was in 7th grade and it was a day we went on a field trip. We all boarded the bus to go to the zoo or some science thing (I forget because we went on a lot of field trips that year) and I sat with my friend at the back of the bus. Before the bus even took off we started telling each other jokes and proceeded to laugh our asses off. While I was laughing I failed to notice the girl I had been crushing on for about a year. I hadn't worked up the courage to ask her out on a date (the 7th grade equivalent to one anyways) and I didn't think she knew I existed. Anyways my friend noticed that she sat infront of us and started asking me about what I liked about her. My pervert 7th grade mind started talking about all of her nice "features". 100/100 girl absolutely beautiful. Anyways I went on with my description about her and I wasn't talking quietly either. My friend is laughing his ass off for some reason that I couldn't figure out. I find out as we start to get off the bus that she had been right there listening the entire time. I thought my life was over right then and there. So for a few months I just kinda laid off of flirting with her since I couldn't get over the embarrassment of that day. One day she comes up to me after school ( we live on the same road so we walk the same way every day) and starts chatting with me. Normal friendly conversation. She brings up that day and says "Hey you don't have to be shy about it." "I'm glad that you think I'm beautiful because I've liked you for a while." So right then and there I put on my ballsack and asked her out on a date. We have been dating ever since.

[QUOTE=mrx5001;40139849]"Hey you don't have to be shy about it." "I'm glad that you think I'm beautiful because I've liked you for a while." So right then and there I put on my ballsack and asked her out on a date. We have been dating ever since.[/QUOTE] God damn, that was an epic story. Surprising how bro's being dick's can really help you out in the end sometimes.

[QUOTE=Rangergxi;40140016]God damn, that was an epic story. Surprising how bro's being dick's can really help you out in the end sometimes.[/QUOTE] Yeah. I sure am grateful for that day.

[QUOTE=Repulsion;40139239]Same story with me... except it was a slightly creepy note with my number on it.[/QUOTE] instead of leaving your number, you should have left her address that way she really knows you care

A repost from the OTHER v2. This really should be v3. [QUOTE=Naaz;39772735]This happened to me a while ago. So in English we were doing some report where we each picked a classic book from a list and did a massive oral report on it. I chose Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, and I'm glad I did because it may be one of the coolest books I've ever read. I was feeling pretty prepared for it, and I had made the coolest poster ever. The following is a transcription of my oral report. My thoughts are italicized. The teacher says it's my turn. [I]ohh noooooo[/I] So I mosey on up there, grab my poster. I clip it up onto the whiteboard. People are like "Ooooooh" because my poster is pretty awesome. [i]alright brave through it[/i] I start reading from my outline, and I do pretty well. I add some ad lib humor here and there. [i]oh jesus why are my hands shaking i used to do awesome public speaking can i not do that anymore oh nooooooo[/i] So towards the middle I really start getting nervous. Visibly so. I make a remark about how the plot is so odd, and I remark, "I think it's interesting because it's a weird thing to think about." [i]well that sounded pretty clumsy[/i] "And I always like weird things to think about." Massive laughter. Unfortunately, it took a few seconds before I realized what I had just said. [i]wait what the fuck why the laughter OH SHIT[/i] It may have been a long term benefit however because it took a lot of the pressure off. Oh, and may I mention that the girl I'm crushing on was sitting in practically THE FIRST ROW? Anyway, not a whole lot of fun.[/QUOTE]

When I was like 5 I did a shit in a urinal because I didn't know any better

So, I brought my laptop to school for a presentation, hooked it up to the projector, and opened it. It began auto-playing the [sp]gay[/sp] porn I was watching last night and was too lazy to close out of the browser. [sp]This happened on Monday.[/sp]

[QUOTE=cheetahben;40148251]So, I brought my laptop to school for a presentation, hooked it up to the projector, and opened it. It began auto-playing the [sp]gay[/sp] porn I was watching last night and was too lazy to close out of the browser. [sp]This happened on Monday.[/sp][/QUOTE] Ouch. You should try (too late probably) to pass it as a joke you made to the class...

Last summer I was coming back from New York, and I was at the baggage claim, and I saw my suitcase, so I ran to get it and my shorts fell down to my ankles and I tripped and like pencil dived onto a load of luggage on the moving carousel.

[QUOTE=mrx5001;40139849]Speaking of relationships. Kinda a long one sorry guys. I was in 7th grade and it was a day we went on a field trip. We all boarded the bus to go to the zoo or some science thing (I forget because we went on a lot of field trips that year) and I sat with my friend at the back of the bus. Before the bus even took off we started telling each other jokes and proceeded to laugh our asses off. While I was laughing I failed to notice the girl I had been crushing on for about a year. I hadn't worked up the courage to ask her out on a date (the 7th grade equivalent to one anyways) and I didn't think she knew I existed. Anyways my friend noticed that she sat infront of us and started asking me about what I liked about her. My pervert 7th grade mind started talking about all of her nice "features". 100/100 girl absolutely beautiful. Anyways I went on with my description about her and I wasn't talking quietly either. My friend is laughing his ass off for some reason that I couldn't figure out. I find out as we start to get off the bus that she had been right there listening the entire time. I thought my life was over right then and there. So for a few months I just kinda laid off of flirting with her since I couldn't get over the embarrassment of that day. One day she comes up to me after school ( we live on the same road so we walk the same way every day) and starts chatting with me. Normal friendly conversation. She brings up that day and says "Hey you don't have to be shy about it." "I'm glad that you think I'm beautiful because I've liked you for a while." So right then and there I put on my ballsack and asked her out on a date. We have been dating ever since.[/QUOTE] This made be rise from my chair and clap repeatedly for 10 minutes Fuck my hands hurt

[QUOTE=cheetahben;40148251]So, I brought my laptop to school for a presentation, hooked it up to the projector, and opened it. It began auto-playing the [sp]gay[/sp] porn I was watching last night and was too lazy to close out of the browser. [sp]This happened on Monday.[/sp][/QUOTE] Holy shit how did you handle that?

[QUOTE=ojcoolj;40149727]This made be rise from my chair and clap repeatedly for 10 minutes Fuck my hands hurt[/QUOTE] I take it you're from the USA

Not embarrassing for me but for someone else. At swim practice, nothing out of the ordinary. During the last 10 minutes we all go practice dives. Everybody gets out and people start lining up one by one to go, there were about 4 lanes open and my section of the swim team had around 35 people practicing that day. The line moves forward as people dive when suddenly this one kid comes up. He had a huge boner. He was just standing there, loud and proud. He didn't even give a shit, and apparently nobody else even noticed.

Blood rushing to your dick in any sort of physical activity happens all the time.