Embarrassing Situations thread V.2: I shoved a pencil into my anus - General

Not as embarrassing for me. Here we go: So it's saturday, doing usual rounds with a friend at a games workshop, and the shop closes down temp for lunch. Now, we both do parkour seriously, and it's a running joke to do horribly executed rail climbing and shit, trying to look clumsy as possible. As we're walking toward our lunch destination, he begins rebounding off these rails parallel to a wall, and then he slips up and falls on his ass, except it's the clumsiest looking fall in the history of man, and looked like shit was going in super slow motion. The air escaped from my lungs in a blind rage of laughter with the fury of ten thousand angry fat women, nearly killing me and causing the equivalent of the Fire of chicago inside my chest. He extends a hand for me to pull him up, and I oblige, but when our hands lock for the assist, i'm laughing so hard It completely paralyzes me, and I fall to my knees. Then we just sit there for 5 minutes laughing to near suffocation.

I work in a restaurant, as a host. One Saturday a couple of weeks ago, I was going about my hosting duties when I noticed some odd, probably late 30s early 40s woman staring at me from the bar. I ask her if I can help her with anything, prompting her to come up to me, hug, and kiss my neck. Needless to say, she was pretty drunk.

When I was like 5 years old, I was with my parents in the clothing store. They were too busy gawking at overpriced apparel and I was fucking about with the nearby mannequin. I accidentally toppled the mannequin and it fell down the stairs. Neither the staff or my parents were angry, but it was quite embarrasing for me.

[QUOTE=Milkdairy;40154615]Not as embarrassing for me. Here we go: So it's saturday, doing usual rounds with a friend at a games workshop, and the shop closes down temp for lunch. Now, we both do parkour seriously, and it's a running joke to do horribly executed rail climbing and shit, trying to look clumsy as possible. As we're walking toward our lunch destination, he begins rebounding off these rails parallel to a wall, and then he slips up and falls on his ass, except it's the clumsiest looking fall in the history of man, and looked like shit was going in super slow motion. The air escaped from my lungs in a blind rage of laughter with the fury of ten thousand angry fat women, nearly killing me and causing the equivalent of the Fire of chicago inside my chest. He extends a hand for me to pull him up, and I oblige, but when our hands lock for the assist, i'm laughing so hard It completely paralyzes me, and I fall to my knees. Then we just sit there for 5 minutes laughing to near suffocation.[/QUOTE] Sorry but because you said Games Workshop before mentioning doing Parkour seriously, I ended up picturing two obese nerds doing flips and shit. (Obviously nothing personal) I should probably contribute to this thread, so here it goes: Anyone who lives or even occasionally visits countries where there are snowy winters, will know what pavements (Especially in the more rural parts of town) can get like. I was in Austria skiing with a group of about 10 people, and at about 11 PM at night we decided to go into town. From our chalet, there was the most iciest, slipperiest path you could ever imagine. To get into town we had to take this path, and for some reason Austria thinks it is a better idea to put two fences to hold onto either side of the path, rather than gritting it in the first place. Needless to say, like 10 cold penguins, we slowly waddled down the path. I was in the middle of the queue and we had to serve out the way to let a lady and her kid round. I missed my footing causing me to slip, holding onto the fence for dear life. These fences weren't planted firmly in the group, they where just placed there, meaning I brought all the fences, which where interlocked with each other down. This caused a pile up of the 10 of us on the floor, rolling around struggling to get up, whilst and Austria woman attempts to carry her child away. We proceeded the path in a military crawl.

not me, but my roommate. Earlier, he was in a bar/club with some friends, and lost his jacket. he sees some guy with the exact same jacket (it's not exactly a common looking jacket) in the club, so he confronts the guy; the guy of course denies it, so my roommate tells security about it. Turns out they just had the exact same jacket.

One time I was out and eating ice cream with this girl I knew (this was at 15) and she accidentally drops some on her cleavage, and she says "can you help me with this?" I say "but I hate strawberry ice cream" and then realize what I just said I never saw her again

The thread title happened to me in fourth grade, by accident. It wasn't me who did it either. I was just about to take a seat next to my friend, who decided it'd be fun to bring out a sharp pencil and put it on my seat as I sat down. It literally penetrated through my pants and into my anus. I cried. I cried so much.

[QUOTE=Flicky;40113404]I used to watch a lot of Star Trek: The Next Generation and didn't really like going to church. So when I was little and everyone was talking at once during prayer/hymns, it reminded me of how the Borg talk, and how when one talks, the rest talk with it. So I was sitting there during a prayer, and as everyone else was talking together, I was mumbling/saying "We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. Lower your shields and disarm your weap-" and then I saw her. This one, gigantic beast of a woman was staring me down with the most furious expression on her face. I piped down for the rest of that mass. And other masses. And that's why I don't like church.[/QUOTE] The funny thing is that my pastor is a massive fucking Star Trek fan and did this in church once. Everyone had a good laugh about it.

One day at a department store (I don't remember, I was like 6 or 7 years old), my parents and I were buying shoes. I was talking to someone the whole day, then I said to him "Dad are you listening to me?". [B]He wasn't my dad. [/B]

one day i had to wake up for school early (at like 4:30 am, had to be at school at 5:30). so i practically sleepwalked the whole morning, from taking a shower to eating to getting dressed, and i hardly knew what i was doing. but when i got to school, i had massive inexplicable bumps on my head and really bad headaches. turns out that, according to my mom, i was so tired that i would be walking in the hallway and randomly pass out and face-plant straight into the wall. she watched me do it about 6 times. [sp]it was embarrassing because i was playing in the jazz band for a school ceremony and people thought i was an abused child[/sp]

-snippity dip this post was awful-

[QUOTE=QUILTBAG;40167710]One time I was out and eating ice cream with this girl I knew (this was at 15) and she accidentally drops some on her cleavage, and she says "can you help me with this?" I say "but I hate strawberry ice cream" and then realize what I just said I never saw her again[/QUOTE] alpha as fuck 8/10 girl only, would not lick ice cream off her boobs

[QUOTE=ZeFruitNazi;40168169]one day i had to wake up for school early (at like 4:30 am, had to be at school at 5:30). so i practically sleepwalked the whole morning, from taking a shower to eating to getting dressed, and i hardly knew what i was doing. but when i got to school, i had massive inexplicable bumps on my head and really bad headaches. turns out that, according to my mom, i was so tired that i would be walking in the hallway and randomly pass out and face-plant straight into the wall. she watched me do it about 6 times. [sp]it was embarrassing because i was playing in the jazz band for a school ceremony and people thought i was an abused child[/sp][/QUOTE] I once fell asleep watching ST TNG and when I got up a few hours later I was so delirious that for 10 minutes I thought I was the captain of the Enterprise and was being attacked by Romulans

When I used to have dandruff, everyone in elementary school thought it was lice. Also, trying to talk to a girl in high school, "Hi, my name is X, got a pen I could use?" "No" and I just sit down quietly. Might as well get the other girl thing off my chest. One of my friends gave me a girl's number and younger me thought it would be a good idea to call even though she didn't give it to me personally. Her and her friends laughed and she blew me off with a "Happy Thanksgiving" and hung up.

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;40167963]One day at a department store (I don't remember, I was like 6 or 7 years old), my parents and I were buying shoes. I was talking to someone the whole day, then I said to him "Dad are you listening to me?". [B]He wasn't my dad. [/B][/QUOTE] At least you aren't a GUY who playfully slaps another GUY-friends on the ass as a "greeting." Certain feller from work does this, and he took off one of those bracelets that wrap around your wrist when you hit them on and slapped a dude on the ass as hard as he could while yelling "HI!" and found out it wasn't his friend. :v:

[QUOTE=Bumrang;40152622]Not embarrassing for me but for someone else. At swim practice, nothing out of the ordinary. During the last 10 minutes we all go practice dives. Everybody gets out and people start lining up one by one to go, there were about 4 lanes open and my section of the swim team had around 35 people practicing that day. The line moves forward as people dive when suddenly this one kid comes up. He had a huge boner. He was just standing there, loud and proud. He didn't even give a shit, and apparently nobody else even noticed.[/QUOTE] Talking of swimming, a few years ago I was in a p.e lesson and it was swimming. I am a fat fuck, so I can't properly lift my own weight. I had to get out of the pool by the ladder every time while everyone else simply climbed out. Everyone was out of the pool except me, I couldn't get out normally, and a whole class who was lining up waiting to get in was laughing at me.

was there not a different v2 thread already? or am i just crazy

[QUOTE=PredGD;40167750]The thread title happened to me in fourth grade, by accident. It wasn't me who did it either. I was just about to take a seat next to my friend, who decided it'd be fun to bring out a sharp pencil and put it on my seat as I sat down. It literally penetrated through my pants and into my anus. I cried. I cried so much.[/QUOTE] Couldnt help but remember this [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiT8_1G4aRg[/media]

when i was 2 i went to church for the first time. people had lots of candles for like a funeral or whatever catholics do and i just screamed at the top of my lungs "WOW, GOD MUST SURE LIKE CANDLES!"

[QUOTE=PredGD;40167750]The thread title happened to me in fourth grade, by accident. It wasn't me who did it either. I was just about to take a seat next to my friend, who decided it'd be fun to bring out a sharp pencil and put it on my seat as I sat down. It literally penetrated through my pants and into my anus. I cried. I cried so much.[/QUOTE] This reminds me of a story a medic once told me about an Amish boy. They were building a house, and the Amish like to work with their hands, so no construction lifts or anything like that. He was one working on the upper frame while the guys below were laying concrete and rebar. Some of the rebar was spiked up like in the below picture. Then it was time to go eat, so the workers on the upper frame just hope down, but he lost his footing on the landing and fell backward into a sitting position, right ontop of one of the rebar pieces. Went right up his bum and through his intestinal wall. Luckily for him, it somehow missed everything else, including the rest of his intestinal tract, so after a simple surgery and recovery, he was free to go. [img]http://images.meredith.com/diy/images/2008/12/p_SCM_080_05.jpg[/img]

I was at work experience and being polite to everyone kind of slipped my mind because my friend was there, so I started speaking like I do to my friends to people in the shop. For example, an old woman asked me where the sudoku puzzles were. "Excuse me, do you know where the sudoku puzzles are?" "Oh yeah, they're just over there" "Ah thank you very much" "NO WORRIES MAN"

I went to KFC today and they had a soda machine there. They asked if I wanted a drink. "Yeah, I'll have a medium diet coke." The guy at the counter silently looks me in the eye, and without breaking eye contact, hands me the cup to go fill for myself. [i]Fuck.[/i]

[QUOTE=Flicky;40177138]I went to KFC today and they had a soda machine there. They asked if I wanted a drink. "Yeah, I'll have a medium diet coke." The guy at the counter silently looks me in the eye, and without breaking eye contact, hands me the cup to go fill for myself. [i]Fuck.[/i][/QUOTE] I generally respond with 'well if you're gonna be a dick about it' when i do that. Got some dude to fill my cup once.

so the other day I was taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. I always listen to music when I do plus the fan is really loud and I lock the door. So there I am, listening to Blind Guardian when my sister's boyfriend kicks open the fucking door and [I]literally[/I] scares the shit out of me. I jump out of fright as I'm shitting and my shit misses the bowl and lands on the seat. Luckily, I didn't sit on it and I just slammed the door closed. I don't think they saw the shit, fortunately. Maybe they did. Fuck, they probably did. Oh well. Apparently, my sister had been pounding on the door and calling my name for like 3 minutes and she thought I was dead or something.

I'm a security guard at the local mall and today I was helping a guy find Old Navy, he then said "Thanks for the help" and I replied "You to!" gladly and walked away.

OK, some quick back story. I live in Dubai in the U.A.E. now the U.A.E is an Islamic country, sex out of marriage = like a 1-2 years in prison. I am 18 so obviously I am not married. so the a few weeks ago I went out with my dad, we had some errands to run. the last stop was at the pharmacy. At the checkout my dad says very loudly "Son Should I get you some condoms?" I did not know what to say... I just stood there in silence. when he notices my reaction he says "son you should not be ashamed to walk into a pharmacy and ask for condoms." this may not sound so bad to the rest of you but considering that having condoms could actually get me arrested it was embarrassing.

[QUOTE=aldot4;40181290]OK, some quick back story. I live in Dubai in the U.A.E. now the U.A.E is an Islamic country, sex out of marriage = like a 1-2 years in prison. I am 18 so obviously I am not married. so the a few weeks ago I went out with my dad, we had some errands to run. the last stop was at the pharmacy. At the checkout my dad says very loudly "Son Should I get you some condoms?" I did not know what to say... I just stood there in silence. when he notices my reaction he says "son you should not be ashamed to walk into a pharmacy and ask for condoms." this may not sound so bad to the rest of you but considering that having condoms could actually get me arrested it was embarrassing.[/QUOTE] Nah buddy, I think first times people will always find it embarrassing buying condoms. Especially if your dad is buying them and exclaims it loudly.

[QUOTE=aldot4;40181290]OK, some quick back story. I live in Dubai in the U.A.E. now the U.A.E is an Islamic country, sex out of marriage = like a 1-2 years in prison. I am 18 so obviously I am not married. so the a few weeks ago I went out with my dad, we had some errands to run. the last stop was at the pharmacy. At the checkout my dad says very loudly "Son Should I get you some condoms?" I did not know what to say... I just stood there in silence. when he notices my reaction he says "son you should not be ashamed to walk into a pharmacy and ask for condoms." this may not sound so bad to the rest of you but considering that having condoms could actually get me arrested it was embarrassing.[/QUOTE] When I first started doing the business, I always asked my girlfriend for her to buy the condoms. Kind of embarrassing when I think back at it.

[QUOTE=Flicky;40177138]I went to KFC today and they had a soda machine there. They asked if I wanted a drink. "Yeah, I'll have a medium diet coke." The guy at the counter silently looks me in the eye, and without breaking eye contact, hands me the cup to go fill for myself. [i]Fuck.[/i][/QUOTE] "This doesn't have any coke in it at all, try again"

Here's my nice little story: It was a normal day at elementary school. I was 4 at the time (kindergarden). Usually, after we eat our lunch, the teachers take make us take a bathroom break, and they lead the whole class into the bathroom. Once we were in the bathroom, all the urinals were taken. I see this drain in the middle of the bathroom floor, and I decide to start peeing in it, and of course, out of all moments, the school director walks into the bathroom. He just stares at me as my piss is sprinkling all over the floor and the drain. He then took me in his office and called my parents.