Embarrassing Situations thread V.2: I shoved a pencil into my anus - General

[QUOTE=Zambies!;40214522]*In fancy store* Me: "Oh yeah fucking IZOD COLOGNE BITCH gotta get my SMELL ON" *Grabs cologne* Me: "fucking BLUE SPRING shirt gotta get my SPRING ON" *Grabs blue shirt* Me: "Fucking SHAVER gotta get my BRISTLES ON" *Grabs shaver* *Goes to counter* Man in suit: "That'll be $165" *Doesn't want to spaghetti all overself and put items back* *Coughs up $165*[/QUOTE] What? What is embarrassing about putting an item back? It's not like they ban you from the store for not buying stuff.

[QUOTE=bunnyspy1;40216538]What? What is embarrassing about putting an item back? It's not like they ban you from the store for not buying stuff.[/QUOTE] Its embarrassing when you realize you don't have enough money, but keep trying to pay using your card. 5 minutes later, you give up, and finally decide to put the items back and finally letting everyone buy what they were going to buy. Happened once to me :v:

When a product arrives at work which has been ordered through us for a customer I often have to phone the customer to let them know they can pick it up. I've done this for a few months now but due to me being more used to answering the phone I keep saying "Thanks for your call!" and they say "But... you phoned me?" I get really awkward and hang up. And this wasn't just a one time thing, I do this every single time I make an outgoing call.

Reminds me of the time I answered the phone and work and said "May I ask who's calling?"

More fart stories So I was with my ex in my room and we each were showing eachother funny pictures and stuff. She showed me this really funny one and I let out a fart and luckily she thought it was funny so she laughed. She actually laughed more than I did

Jumping on the fart story train. My gf jumped into the bed, standing like a dog. And she farted. In my face. Not so embarrassing for me, but for her.

Yeah well I found out that I shake when I'm horny. I tried explaining it to my girlfriend while my arms looked like someone with Parkinsons disease. I don't even know why either, that's never happened before.

[QUOTE=Zambies!;40226600]Yeah well I found out that I shake when I'm horny. I tried explaining it to my girlfriend while my arms looked like someone with Parkinsons disease. I don't even know why either, that's never happened before.[/QUOTE] I have the same problem. It's been pointed out to me, as well.

One time a friend prank called someone, and handed it to me and said "Here, you talk to her." My brain stopped working at that point, so I said: Hello, this is Dominos, may I take your order? [editline].[/editline] After the 10 second awkward silence, I just said: "Yeah, Jonathon (the friend) called you and handed me the phone. Sorry." And hung up.

[QUOTE=Zambies!;40214522]*In fancy store* Me: "Oh yeah fucking IZOD COLOGNE BITCH gotta get my SMELL ON" *Grabs cologne* Me: "fucking BLUE SPRING shirt gotta get my SPRING ON" *Grabs blue shirt* Me: "Fucking SHAVER gotta get my BRISTLES ON" *Grabs shaver* *Goes to counter* Man in suit: "That'll be $165" *Doesn't want to spaghetti all overself and put items back* *Coughs up $165*[/QUOTE] The truth is, you did all of that with out swearing, or showing extreme emotion or passion like you did in your story. In addition, $165 isn't that much for nice cologne, a nice shirt and a shaver. I would expect to pay around £30 for a shaver, £20 for cologne and £60 for a nice shirt which would come to £110 or $168.

-Automerge-

I also have a fart story. Back in 4th grade my class had desk that were really close together so you kinda had to squeeze your way out. so anyways I was getting up and squeezing my way out when I farted straight into a row of girls. they all immediately went "ew" as my face turn into the sun.

More fart stories. So, I was in an assembly for my school. Since I'm a leader, I had to get up and say some stuff. Went up to the podium, and bent over to get some of the papers that had what I was supposed to say on it. I grab the papers, come back up, and hit my head on the microphone. It makes a gigantic thumping noise, the microphone falls down. During this I feel the sudden need to fart. Microphone comes within range, and I let loose possibly the worst fart I've ever felt. The noise booms around the hall, Deafening everyone.

That's easily the most badass fart story I've ever heard.

When I was a small child of maybe 2-3 years old, my parents took us all to a very busy restaurant for lunch. A small child does not know what manners are and according to my Dad I stood up on my chair and loudly announced to the restaurant that "I NEED TO POO" to the horror of both parents, my Dad jumped on the opportunity to take me to the loo to avoid having to sit at the table in embarrassment.

One time when I was 5 or 6 my parents took me to Pizza Hutt, where a female basketball team was very loudly celebrating their latest victory. I walked over to them and told them to be quiet.

One time I was hanging out with my brother and his g/f. I had to fart, and I was trying to do the one cheek sneak while timing it with the song currently playing (starts slow so tried to wait). I laughed at the thought of doing so and ended up farting loudly a second too early.

[QUOTE=dragonitemaster;40228026]I also have a fart story. Back in 4th grade my class had desk that were really close together so you kinda had to squeeze your way out. so anyways I was getting up and squeezing my way out when I farted straight into a row of girls. they all immediately went "ew" as my face turn into the sun.[/QUOTE]I imagined the girls going ew and then your face turned into a sun an obliterated all of them I can't stop laughing

I put a dollar into a vending machine but accidentally pressed the code for an empty slot so I got nothing. People saw it.

on a trip with some others at my school to see a local technical college(100 or so) Some guy in one group stole a teacher's phone, we came in right after that group and he just found out...He was pissed Anywho, when we got back to school one of the counselors picks me out of EVERY person in the room, and is like "Come here." I get up and follow him "You got a phone?" Yea, here. And I handed him it. "You got any stuff?" I assumed he was talking about drugs and was sitting there with a confused face. It then hit me what he was looking for, and he asked to hold my backpack. He asked like 5 other people after me(who were friends :V) if I did drugs / stole items. They found the stolen phone I think, but oh lord. He gave me my bag and shit before I left, but out of everyone in the room, its kind of odd that I'm picked first.

i have this one memory from when i was a toddler. i was watching tv with my family and the commercials where on. I don't recall what the specific commercial was about but it mentioned "condoms with strawberry flavour" now i knew what condoms where and what they where for but i just couldn't grasp why they would have a flavour. so i just loudly outspoke, to both my parents terror, "WHY WOULD THEY HAVE A CONDOM WITH STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR?!? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE USE FOR THAT?!" i was absolutely oblivious.

When I was a young kid (6 or 7 maybe) we were having a family get together for some holiday or for whatever, at my house. Everyone was sitting in chairs in the kitchen, I walked downstairs and sat down in my moms lap and said "hey mom" It wasn't my mom.

Kind of general, but when you think someone is being sarcastic and their not, or vise versa. Ughhh.

Two stories: Once I was at a shopping centre with my father when I was like 8 and ended up walking about looking at things. After a while I got bored and reached out behind me to grab my father since I thought he was behind me. I turned around to face a complete stranger whom I held on to for another moment before I realised my mistake :( Other story is from first year in primary, when we had some kind of assembly at school for the international peace day. Some candles had been lit, and as the badass I thought I was at the time and since I sat in the first row, I walked up to the candles and blew them out. Got sent straight to the principal's office. Fun times

[QUOTE=supersoldier58;40245992]Kind of general, but when you think someone is being sarcastic and their not, or vise versa. Ughhh.[/QUOTE] I'd consider myself a pretty sarcastic and perceptive person myself but I occasionally do these and feel like a huge dumbass :v:

Some visitors from Hong Kong came to my school to learn about the education system in our country. I was in charge of narrating a little presentation about our school with a couple slides in the background and everything was going fine with it until I suddenly forgot how to pronounce the word "proficiency" and instead said "pro-fee-en-she" or something. Immediately I notice my error and say: "I don't know how to pronounce that word. That's sad..." in a melancholy tone and an exaggerated frown on my face. [B]Because that's fucking hilarious, right?[/B] I stammered and rambled for the rest of the ordeal. My guts felt shredded afterwards. Butterflies in the stomach? More like razor blades in the esophagus.

[QUOTE=supersoldier58;40245992]Kind of general, but when you think someone is being sarcastic and their not, or vise versa. Ughhh.[/QUOTE] I'm generally pretty sarcastic, even when I don't mean to be and girls always think I'm being sarcastic when I compliment them. Feels bad.

So this happened when I was ten or eleven or something like that, and I used to go to the YMCA for a gym and a swimming class. On my first day, swimming class had finished up and everybody was heading back into the locker rooms. To give a better picture of the scene, there was a hallway leading from the swimming room which had two branches on the same side leading into either the girls' or the boys' locker rooms. So I saw my teacher head through the furthest away opening, and in some sort of complete brain malfunction, decided that that room must be where only the teachers are allowed. So guess where I turn? Straight into the girls' locker room, being absolutely oblivious to the painting on the wall of a bunch of women. Once I get in there I know I'm completely lost, and I'm trying to find the entrance to the right locker room. Now, I don't remember everything clearly, but I do know that I was being so awkward about it that I didn't even leave and try to find the right place. Hell, I even showered off in one of those more private showers with the curtain. Eventually, though, I decided to just get out the way I know how to-- walk right through the rest of the locker room, out the door, and then turn and go into the guys' locker room. I tried not to look anywhere on the way out, but I think I might have caught a glance of somebody changing on accident. Thankfully, no one said anything to me, but I did feel extremely stupid and embarrassed afterwards.

In my first week of joining my Junior school in Year 3 I had no idea about religion because Nursery had never told me about Religion (or I wasn't paying attention) and on the morning before I went to Juniors I was watching the Spongebob episode where its set BC which the show called "Before Comedy". I was unfortunate enough that the first question of the day was going to be about Christianity at school. My teacher asked me "What does BC stand for?" and I replied "Before Comedy". Of course everyone laughed but when someone did answer correctly I genuinely thought I was right and wouldn't accept that it stood for "Before Christ" Junior school was painful

I was in grade 10 and sitting in my chemistry room, and the teacher walked around the room handing out our papers she got to my desk and my head was down, half asleep she gave the paper to me and I looked up, said "Thanks mom" (was trying to say ma'am) everyone bursts out laughing I put my head back down