Embarrassing Situations thread V.2: I shoved a pencil into my anus - General

[QUOTE=Darthmagy;40124525]When I was eleven years old I just to have really bad panic attacks that caused me to fear the outside world to a point of where I could't go outside on my own. One day my parents took me to meet a psychiatrist in the town where I lived. I remember walking in to the psychiatrists office and noticing a broken lamp in the ceiling, it went on and off making me feel really uncomfortable. After a few minutes the psychiatrist and some other lady walked in the door and sat down on the sofa next to me. At that point I was feeling anxious, I felt I needed to get out or the walls would smother me. Then the psychiatrist asked me how I was feeling and I went_full_berserk, something just snapped inside my head. I stood up and started running out of the building down the stairs(a lot of stairs) screaming and crying, trying to catch my breath. When I got out of the building I collapsed on to the parking lot crying. My mom ran after me, terrified, yelling my name repeatedly. She sat down, hugged me and told me that everything was going to be alright. We were there out in the parking lot for something like 15 minutes. At that time I was in so much pressure I was pretty much always embarrassed around strangers, so this has stuck in my mind. So, yeah. Then there was of course one time (around that time), that I was outside playing and I heard a plane. I thought it was going to drop a nuclear bomb, killing everybody near by. I ran into a shed and stayed there for thirty minutes.[/QUOTE] I have...sort of a mix of your two stories. When I was 10, I had a really bad panic disorder where anything I saw, I would freak out and get paranoid about it killing me. I'd walk under a chandelier, I'd be afraid it'll collapse. I'd go into a store, and I'd be afraid that a robber would burst in and rob the place. Anyway, at the midpoint of this ordeal my mom has guests over, I guess she thought If I was social, I'd be more calm. We lived in a rural area, so any noises outside weren't drowned out by commercial ambiance. So, I'm sitting on the couch, twiddling my thumbs, while my mother's talking to here friends. Now, I went through phases where I'd have one hypochondriac fear, then, after a week, it'd change. This week, it was nuclear attacks. So I'm sitting there, and a military helicopter flies over our house, making a roaring sound. I thought, "this is it" and dived onto the ground screaming "I don't wanna die!" over and over again. The roaring stops, I get up, everybody's staring at me. I'm better now, of course. It's been years. But panic disorders are the absolute worst thing ever, if you can't control them.

[QUOTE=CAPT Opp4;40260788] I thought, "this is it" and [B]dived onto the ground screaming "I don't wanna die!" over and over again[/B]. The roaring stops, I get up, everybody's staring at me.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://media.moddb.com/cache/images/downloads/1/22/21617/thumb_620x2000/33886_9.jpg[/IMG] Is this you?

At a friend's birthday party at his house, which is just me and friends hanging out over there playing games and shit. We're eating dinner at the table and we have steak, potatoes, corn, etc. And it's all really good food. Somebody says "This is really good steak, it gets more tender towards the middle." So I say "You know what else gets tender in the middle...? (Pause a few seconds) Your anus." Cue the death of 5 people historically laughing at the table including myself. It was embarrassing but more so fucking hilarious luckily. Embarrassing because they kept bringing it up how I said that multiple times the next couple of days.

Remember how I went to the girls bathroom for an emergency and had to escape from two girls that were smoking weed at school? well. [img]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/563674_10201182004417302_109747291_n.jpg[/img] She blocked me so I guess she was a real person and not a bot after all. :suicide:

[QUOTE=TaiwanesePrick;40262468]Remember how I went to the girls bathroom for an emergency and had to escape from two girls that were smoking weed at school? well. [img]https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/563674_10201182004417302_109747291_n.jpg[/img] She blocked me so I guess she was a real person and not a bot after all. :suicide:[/QUOTE] one time i said what you said and it ended up with pics, not of her tits, but still good pics, and i also found out my best friend was bisexual and liked me also [img]http://i.imgur.com/ZWvNdI0.png[/img] she said hi about 20 other times in the past so i thought she was a bot i was wrong

I'm a security guard at the local mall and today I was driving around in the "Mobile" which is our patrol truck. We are required to have our windows open in order to hear. So I pass by these 3 girls and one says "Hi Security!" as I pass, I quickly said Hello! just in time. After that I kept thinking to myself I should have said "Good Afternoon" to sound more professional... Anyways later that day those same girls passed me and asked how I was doing, I then said "Good Afternoon!" without thinking. :L

in hindsight it was a bit of an overreaction but at the time i was fed up with this shit

I was in 4th grade. At that time the school bus would come very early that i did not have time take a shit. And a normal day, we are playing tag with friends. Obviously because i didn't take a shit I always had a fart in my stomach and I would usually let it out while playing tag. And I did, it was just a normal fart. I did not notice anything. The next day, I noticed i was actually stinking and everybody was looking at me. That evening I noticed that i [B]actually shat myself and stayed with that shit for one day.[/B] I also made my chair stink that we had to throw it out. :v: After that day i started to take shits in the mornings. :v:

surely you were known as the kid that shit himself for the rest of your school career

One time I was walking down the street from school with pretzels in my hand in a small bag and then I noticed my asian neighbors car coming up but my mouth was full of fucking pretzels and I couldn't swallow in time so when she stopped I couldn't say anything when she asked how I was and I let out some random garbled mess when all of the sudden a big chunk of pretzel flew in her fucking face and I just looked down and walked away as she drove away.

Help me, having two threads is too confusing, so going to post this here also. Reading this thread made me remember a lot of bad things. Anyway, so I used to be a little scared of going to the dentist. So this one time I had a dentist appointment, I got there but really needed to fart The doctor notices that I am like shaking in fear, and he cracks a joke to calm me down. and instead of laughing I just fart and shake some more. I'll never forget his face. Was pretty awful sitting there, staring him in his eyes. It was just so goddamn awkward. Oh great, a pageking

On the first day of school this year, my bus was so crowded we had sit 3 to a seat. I was the unlucky one to have to sit on the edge of the seat with 2 girls taking 95% of it. So i'm sitting on half a butt cheek supporting myself with one leg for 30 minutes. School starts and my first class happened to be Japanese, we did some bowing practice. Where I was sitting was crowded so I couldn't stand up all the way with the chair digging into my legs. From that 30 minute bus ride my leg got so weak that my leg was wobbling so violent my class thought I was having a seizure. I got really uncomfortable and started sweating but the teacher didn't notice so we were standing up for what felt for hours.

[QUOTE=Calamity;40266000]I was in 4th grade. At that time the school bus would come very early that i did not have time take a shit. And a normal day, we are playing tag with friends. Obviously because i didn't take a shit I always had a fart in my stomach and I would usually let it out while playing tag. And I did, it was just a normal fart. I did not notice anything. The next day, I noticed i was actually stinking and everybody was looking at me. That evening I noticed that i [B]actually shat myself and stayed with that shit for one day.[/B] I also made my chair stink that we had to throw it out. :v: After that day i started to take shits in the mornings. :v:[/QUOTE] Don't feel that bad, a guy here shat himself during a track meet, in front of over 500 people, he has a nickname now, don't remember what though.

when i was about ~10 years old, i used to be really into habbo hotel. so much that i had actually spent real money buying the furniture and monthly habbo club exclusive looks and such (which is embarrassing enough in itself). for all of you who have played habbo, i ended up winning a round of that falling furni game and i thought i would get to pick out which item i wanted from the host's prize room. instead, the guy told me to type out my password holding whatever key and it would come out as asterisks.. i fell for it. little ~10 year old me cried once i saw all of my stuff was gone.

God, As a 10 year old I fucking loved habbo, must've been horrible for you.

[QUOTE=Nikeos;40288198]when i was about ~10 years old, i used to be really into habbo hotel. so much that i had actually spent real money buying the furniture and monthly habbo club exclusive looks and such (which is embarrassing enough in itself). for all of you who have played habbo, i ended up winning a round of that falling furni game and i thought i would get to pick out which item i wanted from the host's prize room. instead, the guy told me to type out my password holding whatever key and it would come out as asterisks.. i fell for it. little ~10 year old me cried once i saw all of my stuff was gone.[/QUOTE] My brother used to play the fuck out of Habbo (11-16) and he had his account stolen probably five times. I still think the whole thing is dumb, so I didn't ask him for details, though I think he got his stuff back.

Might as well post a couple stories. First one was on I think my 15th birthday. I'd just started going back to school and getting out of the house more after dealing with a bunch of different things, so for my birthday my mum and step-dad decided to fix up my old BMX bike and take me to the BMX track since I used to go down there all the time when I was about 12. Keep in mind I'd barely been out of the house in a few years, let alone ride a bike, and here we are at the big BMX track (the gravel ones with big jumps, mainly used for racing and such) and I'm using this old $100 Kmart bike that I got when I was in Primary School. So I was nervous as hell, and it didn't help that there were about 20 people at the park including a bunch of small kids and professional riders. Still, I went speeding down this massive hill at the start of the track, not realising how fast I was going and how bad I was at BMX I quickly went up the first jump and got a bunch of air (which I've never really done before). Apparently I was about 8ft off the ground and at that point I was completely shitting myself, then as I landed (in front of about 10 people all waiting for me to get out of the way so they could go) the handle bars collapsed completely forward, I went face first into the gravel and my bike landed on top of me. Pretty much everyone at the park all stopped what they were doing to stare and laugh and I walked off the track covered in blood with a broken bike. But instead of learning from my mistakes I had a little rest, somewhat fixed my bike and went again.. just to have the same thing happen. I still have some un-sightly scars on my face and a little bit of gravel in my hands from that day. Jump forward about a year later; I'd been feeling pretty ill for a few weeks and I had an insanely blocked nose so I had to squirt this shit in my nostrils to help it. This was giving me crazy blood noses which I've never really gotten before. Anyway, I was sitting at home on a Friday night bleeding out my nose when a friend calls me up saying come to this party. I thought I'd be fine, and for the first half of the party I was, no nose bleeds or anything. So then around the end of the night I'm in some tent with some girl, making out etc. She starts grinding on me and runs my hand down her body. I was feeling p. gr8 since I was a complete virgin at that time and even making out was a thrill. So we're doing our thing, I'm thinking to myself "I'm finally moving up in the world" and then I start tasting something awful. She jumps off me and just looks at me with disgust. There's blood all over her face, all over mine, all over our clothes, everything. She runs out the tent and I'm just sitting there feeling like I'm about to pass out. Anyway, a bunch of stuff happens and eventually I crash. Woke up, the girl stayed as well and pretty much avoided eye contact with me all morning, we didn't say a word to each other. I'm thinking it's time to get the hell out, so I go to get my friend, so I walk up to this girl sleeping (She was facing the other way, and she was pretty big, thought it was him) and I start pushing her and yelling my friends name at her. She turns around and tries to hit me, tells the girl I was with before about it, they both just hate me afterwards. Ended up getting my friend and getting out of there, but as we're waiting for the bus guess who comes walking up? Those same two girls. Turns out I had to catch the same bus and train as them to get home. Haven't talked to either of them since, but I have seen them at parties. Turns out everyone thought the girl was the one who had a blood nose and not me, so I managed to avoid too much embarrassment.

Oh boy. Had math today, we got to play some game. Before they started, we had to give our team a name. Friends idea was "Sex Machines", but that was way too inappropriate. What did we go with? [B]SCHLONG BROTHERS.[/B] Of course, teacher goes apeshit, and we didn't get to play games.

Was at my dad's wedding, and I was with my cousin I think walking down the isle because she was flower girl and I was ring holder or whatever 7 year old wedding thing. We were walking down the isle and I say to her "[I]When are we getting married?[/I]" She replies " I don't know " after that I was embarrased that I just stopped after a few more steps I think, so that my auntie had to get me to come

I was really little and my family brought me on a trip to Washington, D.C. I had to shit really bad before I even got on the plane, and had a fear or pooping in public places. So the flights were puddle jumpers, meaning that a prop plane took you to one city, board another and confine on, etc. So a few hours later, I was fixing to blow my ass clean open, we eventually got to the hotel about 6 hours later. I sprint my ass to the bathroom and my ass lets forth a torrent of pent up shit. That was when I got over my fear of pooping in public.

Wait what's the embarrassing part about that?

This is between really embarrassing and really hilarious for me. So our class was split into groups of 4 and we each had to do a powerpoint presentation on sailing (don't ask, I don't even know). 3 good friends and I teamed up and got to work, but I decided to fuck about, on the first page of the presentation I put all the necessary information for the introduction, but on the right side I put this picture [img]http://www.eclats-de-bretagne.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Suliac_Route-du-Rhum.jpg[/img] And put a cartoon speech bubble over his head saying "im so swagg, thug lyfe" and under the image, I put "~~2swagg4u~~". My friends thought it was hilarious, and we did this kinda shit for the next 3 pages of the presentation. So skip to where every group's presenting their work one by one, and each presentation is [I]really[/I] good, so we're all looking at eachother saying "oh god we're fucked" until it was our turn. Now before we got up infront of the class to present our masterpiece, our teacher starts shouting at the class for being immature and apathetic towards work (lotsa people were fucking about and talking) and just as she ends her speech on our immaturity, this huge picture of the boy comes onto the screen, along with all the "~~swag" shit accompanied by bursts of laughter from our classmates. At this point I can't hold my shit together, I'm dying of laughter. I turn to my friends and they've all got straightfaces, the teacher giving me a deathstare, and to put the cherry on the cake, I had forgotten that at the end I had put a last slide with just "PRESENTATION MADE BY [my name here]" in huge letters. We all went to sit back down, heads bowed in shame, me still giggling like an idiot. As I sat down I saw a friend of mine literally crying with laughter, so that was the upside I guess :v:

One time I hit print screen during a flashing gif to see wth it was. Happened to be a guy lifting up his shirt, whatever. Sometime later though I am trying to show my bro how to color drawings in photoshop, and instead of control+z he pushes control+v...posting up the guy lifting his shirt up. I quickly control+z and tell him that's how you undo. He laughed and brushed it off, but now I wonder on and off if he noticed what it was and if he thinks I'm gay or not.

School Physics Class Cooking hotdogs with various types of electronic items (including a direct line into the 120v wall) 3 Bros and me have a microwave. Hotdog Microwave .. 30 seconds (neat. its cooked) "Why stop there" 5 Minutes. 4 min mark: microwave smokes continue.jpg 5 minutes are done Open door hotdog missing smoke everywhere smells bad leave class whole school smells bad

[QUOTE=areolop;40344351]School Physics Class Cooking hotdogs with various types of electronic items (including a direct line into the 120v wall) 3 Bros and me have a microwave. Hotdog Microwave .. 30 seconds (neat. its cooked) "Why stop there" 5 Minutes. 4 min mark: microwave smokes continue.jpg 5 minutes are done Open door hotdog missing smoke everywhere smells bad leave class whole school smells bad[/QUOTE] the hotdogs and the smoke became one, and now, with the smokes assistance, the hotdog was served to everyone.

[QUOTE=DestWa;402725860] The doctor notices that I am like shaking in fear, and he cracks a joke to calm me down. and instead of laughing I just fart and shake some more. I'll never forget his face. [/QUOTE] This is the funniest thing I've ever read in my entire life :v:

[QUOTE=PredGD;40346191]the hotdogs and the smoke became one, and now, with the smokes assistance, the hotdog was served to everyone.[/QUOTE] Forgot to mention, that was my last class... I left after that and everyone had to deal with the smell. Everything smells of smoke. I am now getting hate chats from FB: "You're an asshole" "Thanks to you the school smells like ass" "Fuck off. Why 4 minutes. WHY" :v:

I went to the chemist yesterday and bought lubricant and condoms as a treat for my boyfriend. The woman behind the counter who I gave them to turned out to be my former teacher from pre-school :tinfoil:

[QUOTE=areolop;40346450]Forgot to mention, that was my last class... I left after that and everyone had to deal with the smell. Everything smells of smoke. I am now getting hate chats from FB: "You're an asshole" "Thanks to you the school smells like ass" "Fuck off. Why 4 minutes. WHY" :v:[/QUOTE] Did you at least give the hotdog a post-mortem?

Another one. I was in Ann Summers with a friend a few months ago. We were trying on one sexy outfit each. I was pretty excited about it because I've never tried on any sexy outfits before. And so I went to the only dressing room in the shop after my friend and I tried on the "Naughty Nurse" outfit. Assuming that it was my friend outside the door, I slung it open and went "TA-DA! What do you think, then?! :dance: " Turned out it wasn't her, but an elderly man stopping in his tracks looking at me from top to bottom. He said under his breath "Erm... Very nice, dear...." Then backed away from me. I just stood there like a right lemon afterwards, still wearing the Naughty Nurse outfit. Then I saw that my friend was by the exit all that time, laughing her arse off! >_< :v: