Embarrassing Situations thread V.2: I shoved a pencil into my anus - General

[QUOTE=Tacosheller;40669172]If a dude breaks up with you for that he seems like kind of a dick[/QUOTE] Nah I left him in the end because of abuse. Anyway, moving on...

I was in 6th grade, and it was the middle of a pretty bad winter in my state. My driveway always gets a thick layer of ice during the winter, making it a hazard to drive, let alone walk, up. It's also extremely long and goes uphill from my house. So, I'm late for the bus one morning. I'm scurrying out of my house when I see the bus pulling around the corner. I'm flapping my arms madly in an attempt to make sure the driver notices and doesn't leave without me. I make the stupid decision to run right up the middle of my driveway, where the ice is the worst. I slip and fall. I stand up. I slip again. I was trapped in the middle of my freaking driveway. There was no hope of getting my footing or crawling to safety. I was stuck, like I was in a nightmare where you're trying to get away but can't. The bus is stopped, and I'm almost sure everyone on that side of the bus was staring out the windows at me. I'm completely screwed by this point. My mom comes out and rescues me and motions for the bus to go on without me. We find our way inside, thankfully not both getting stuck out there. My mom ultimately had to take me to school. -- Oh, and this happened just this winter. I'm in 10th grade now. We had to make some ridiculous, impromptu presentation in Spanish class. My turn came around. I had some crappy outline drawn out, just enough to jog my memory and let the ideas flow. (We had no time to prepare an actual speech, so this wasn't because I was ill prepared.) I'm normally pretty decent at public speaking. In English, I read my work aloud in a confident voice that sounds a lot better than my normal voice. Most people seem to be indifferent to my presentations, and a few even enjoy them. This time, however, everything just went to pieces. After about a dozen words, my mind completely stopped. I couldn't think of anything to say, even though I had prompts right in front of me. Some twisted grimace appeared on my face as I tried to recover my calm facade. As much as I hate to say it, I felt my eyes start to water from frustration and panic. The fact that I realized how embarrassing it was only made it worse. I was forced to excuse myself to the side of the room for a moment, berate myself, dry my eyes, and recover my train of thought. I stumbled through the rest of the barely passable speech and return to my desk. My head didn't leave my desk for the rest of the class. I have no idea why I broke down like that. The worse news? The girl I like was practically right in front of me. The mediocre news that makes the bad news slightly less bad? She apparently wasn't in the mood to pay attention that day, because I think she was the only one who didn't witness it firsthand. I'm sure her friends filled her in, but at least she didn't really see my pathetic episode for herself.

[QUOTE=Kirbunny431;40670107]As much as I hate to say it, I felt my eyes start to water from frustration and panic. The fact that I realized how embarrassing it was only made it worse.[/QUOTE] Happens a lot to me, even though it hardly ever amounts to real tears. Last time I cried was actually in October 2012. I was in English class and my hip young teacher decided to introduce a story to us by showing us that Of Monsters and Men song, Little Talks. He used it because the story was about mental illness, and one could interpret the lyrics to be about going to a retirement home. My grandpa was in a retirement home at the time with Alzheimer's, and my grandma was dead, so I was like "Imma bum myself out" and read the lyric sheet repeatedly while thinking about my grandpa. It worked, and I started crying. I put my head down for the rest of the class, and when everyone was waiting for the bell at the end my teacher was all "oh no what happened" and then he started to explain how his grandpa had Alzheimer's too and he died, and he was all understanding and stuff. Half the class didn't even know it happened. I downloaded the song in hopes that I could use it to help produce fake crying if I ever need to during a theatrical performance. damn, sorry for this wall

I sat on a knife once. Someone lost a knife between two cushions on the sofa and it just happened to land with the blade up. I came in and sat down with a fair bit of heft as I normally do and... you can imagine. Thankfully it was a fairly blunt (but serrated) butter knife, but it still managed to stab me good just to the right of my anus, and there was much blood. Took about 2 weeks before I could sit down without any discomfort, and now I have a nice scar just beside my shitter... Thankfully no one was in the house at the time, but I must have looked strange walking around for a week or two like I literally had a stick up my ass or something. Good times, good times.

I cringed reading that.

how do you even

What happened when you had to poop? Would the wound re-open?

[QUOTE=Sobek-;40673644]I sat on a knife once. Someone lost a knife between two cushions on the sofa and it just happened to land with the blade up. I came in and sat down with a fair bit of heft as I normally do and... you can imagine. Thankfully it was a fairly blunt (but serrated) butter knife, but it still managed to stab me good just to the right of my anus, and there was much blood. Took about 2 weeks before I could sit down without any discomfort, and now I have a nice scar just beside my shitter... Thankfully no one was in the house at the time, but I must have looked strange walking around for a week or two like I literally had a stick up my ass or something. Good times, good times.[/QUOTE] How did you initially react? Was the pain super intense or did you just go "Ow, I sat on something." [editline]19th May 2013[/editline] In 6th grade during the mile run I let loose an absolutely disgusting, milky "drinking milk while on conflicting antibiotics" fart. I looked back and the kid behind me was okay, but the group of kids behind him ran through the cloud and one started gagging and tripped and fell. He completely bowling balled five other kids who were in a crying, mangled mess because of my fartageddon. I still feel bad even to this day :<

Hahaha, nah I could poop ok afterwards, the anal region has very soft and stretchy skin it seems. When I sat on it it really wasn't all that painful, it just made me shoot right back up with a sort of "OoohWHAAA" kind of sound, clutching my anus. It always sounds so much worse when telling it to people, but I would probably put it on the same level of pain and annoyance as using pliers and catching some skin between the mechanism when it slips (if you've ever done that... instant shot of pain, a yelp then it's all over and you wonder how the fuck you even managed to do it in the first place).

I was in this sweet shop when I was in 5th or 6th grade and I was browsing with my family. There was this box filled with these little tubs of 'Lip Gellati.' There was a chocolate sample one that I tasted, and it tasted pretty bad. I turned to my brother who was right next to me and told him how it didn't taste like chocolate at all. He then pointed out that it was lip balm and you weren't supposed to eat it.

Oh my how could I have forgotten this! Grade 2 or 3, I stepped in some dog poop on the way to school but didn't realise. I was walking around the classroom and people were wondering what smells. I see tracks of footprint-shit on the floor and it leads to me. That was the one and ONLY time I have ever stepped in poop.

[QUOTE=kidkiller745;40711066]Oh my how could I have forgotten this! Grade 2 or 3, I stepped in some dog poop on the way to school but didn't realise. I was walking around the classroom and people were wondering what smells. I see tracks of footprint-shit on the floor and it leads to me. That was the one and ONLY time I have ever stepped in poop.[/QUOTE] I stepped in horse shit once and didn't realize. I'm not sure if I even need to say this, but a car, a house, a garden and so on was covered in poop stains. [I]i never realized i had a big chunk of soft shit on my shoe before people complained about poop everywhere[/I]

On the topic of poo: When I was younger, my family and I would keep my cousins' dog at our house when they went on vacation. When they came to pick her up one time, I noticed something on the floor, a small brown ball. I was curious as to what it was, so I picked it up and sniffed it. The smell was confusing and then my mom was like "oh shit you picked up a ball of dog poop" so then I washed my hands. Then there was one time where I was hanging out with some friend eating goldfish on his mom's bed (elementary school) and I noticed some sandy mush was on the bed right next to our little pile of goldfish. It was cat shit. It freaked me the fuck out.

[QUOTE=PredGD;40718019]I stepped in horse shit once and didn't realize. I'm not sure if I even need to say this, but a car, a house, a garden and so on was covered in poop stains. [I]i never realized i had a big chunk of soft shit on my shoe before people complained about poop everywhere[/I][/QUOTE] Atleast horse poop isn't gross. It's just leftover plants.

I have short images in my memory about seeing my bed covered completely in shit. I don't even want to know

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;40753499]I have short images in my memory about seeing my bed covered completely in shit. I don't even want to know[/QUOTE] once i threw up all over my couch. i was like 7

I remember a friend of my brother once threw up over the couch while his parents were out for a minute. He was too embarrassed, so he shoved it back in his mouth and swallowed it. Pretty gross. And embarrassing.

I found a friend in the computer lab reading erotic Zelda fanfiction. I just pretended like I didn't see it.

I was watching hall pass with my sister and there was a scene where it zooms in on a nude black mans crotch, which I totally wasn't expecting, and it was just sitting in the camera frame for a minute as we laughed hysterically to keep it from getting too awkward.

[QUOTE=joost1120;40722033]Atleast horse poop isn't gross. It's just leftover plants.[/QUOTE] My brother once threw horse poop at me for this reason.

So I was in a call with a bunch of my friends on skype and my mom walks in my room for no apparent reason. She goes through my drawers and there was a blanket in there (really old blanket). It had a hole in it I don't know why and I was still in the skype call. Next thing you know my mom says " Hey Noah I found your skeet blanket " Everyone in the call starts laughing and they go to school with me.

[QUOTE=AllOriginal;40797830]So I was in a call with a bunch of my friends on skype and my mom walks in my room for no apparent reason. She goes through my drawers and there was a blanket in there (really old blanket). It had a hole in it I don't know why and I was still in the skype call. Next thing you know my mom says " Hey Noah I found your skeet blanket " Everyone in the call starts laughing and they go to school with me.[/QUOTE] Welcome to Facepunch. You passed initiation.

I'm kinda shy so it gets awkward for me and my face get really hot and red when I'm embarrassed, so when I am driving down the road with 3 of my friends, and some RANDOM cute girl is driving a car in a lane from me and my friend rolls down the window and she says "he likes you!" so I just look away too scared by what happened, and then my friends continue to stay side by side with the car till we turn. I have a love-hate relationship with my friends.

As shy as I am, I was so embarrassed by this girl I met earlier. I'm doing a few classes for my drivers license and this other girl which sat on the other side of the room (face to face kind of) kept taking quick peaks at me all the time. God it felt awkward, and at the same time I kinda liked it because I found her attractive. After the bazillianth time looking back and forth to check if she was looking at me (which she did majority of the time), I automatically smiled to her and quickly looked away. She smiled back and ughhh, I blushed so badly and my forehead started to sweat. A few hours later with quick peaks here and there, it was finally over.

You can turn it from an awkward situation to an awesome one.

[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;40756921]once i threw up all over my couch. i was like 7[/QUOTE] I was sleeping on the couch when i was 9, ate some peas, carrots, and other things, such as mashed potatoes for dinner, woke up in the middle of the night, vomited on the floor beside the couch, and all over my shirt, fell asleep again instantly, didn't remember it. My mom was so fucking pissed it was amazing, and i was absolutely clueless as to what happened, i legitimately thought it was the dog.

Once when I was about 8 or something around there, I puked all over the dining table all of sudden. I started crying after I had puked since I didn't have enough time to process what just happened. My mom was sort of shocked as well.

[QUOTE=PredGD;40808038]As shy as I am, I was so embarrassed by this girl I met earlier. I'm doing a few classes for my drivers license and this other girl which sat on the other side of the room (face to face kind of) kept taking quick peaks at me all the time. God it felt awkward, and at the same time I kinda liked it because I found her attractive. After the bazillianth time looking back and forth to check if she was looking at me (which she did majority of the time), I automatically smiled to her and quickly looked away. She smiled back and ughhh, I blushed so badly and my forehead started to sweat. A few hours later with quick peaks here and there, it was finally over.[/QUOTE] ask her out dude. she wants the you-know-what

[QUOTE=Schmaaa;40823957]ask her out dude. she wants the you-know-what[/QUOTE] she wants the alimony? Speaking of poop, I have some intestinal issues and during my AP Chemistry exam my intestines suddenly turned into a feral animal in the time span of about a minute. I immediately got up, ran to the bathroom, and proceeded to unleash a torrent of liquid, burning shit into the toilet. The combination of me really disliking public toilets (to the extent of try to avoid using them at almost any cost), the fact that that exam is hard as balls, and the extreme pain made me really worried that people would hear. Thankfully, no one did, and that's basically the one thing that went right in the whole situation. If anyone had heard it would have completely changed my embarrassment from being from myself to being from other people so I really dodged a bullet there. The real embarrassment I feel from that type of intestinal event (but not that one above) is the pain. When it's on the inside, it's a deep, deep pain. The kind that makes you hunch over and absolutely nothing can distract you from it. Your mind slows down and all you know is that there is something very wrong inside of you. Then there's when you make the movement and it gets to the outside. It's possibly the most painful thing I've ever felt, worse than breaking a limb. When you've got acid burning away your anus the only thing you can do it scream and try to wipe it away as fast as possible, which also causes more pain. Then, afterwards, if you're lucky enough that all of the acid-shit is out and you've had wipe the acid away multiple times, you'll be left with a faint stinging on the inside, and more anus-pain if you try to sit down. Anyways at the slightest feeling of irregularity inside I freak out and secretly hope that I'm at home when it happens, because it's not easy to explain to that you're off to ravage a toilet and hold back screams.

When I was about 6 - 7 years old, My Mum took me to the shopping centre to buy some new clothes for me and a new toy. We entered a shop and I was to busy looking at the Thomas the Tank engine toys I crashed straight into a huge stand of smarties. An avalanche of smarties poured through the shop, wiping me and some customers off their feet. Everyone in that section of the shopping centre was staring at me and my mum.