Embarrassing Situations thread V.2: I shoved a pencil into my anus - General

I was on the mainland to see the rest of my family this week, and my four year-old cousin embarrassed me a few times these past few days. She was playing hairdresser's with us, by brushing our hair, one by one :smile: when I was alone in the room however for my turn she asked "JESSIE CAN I BRUSH YOUR MINGE?" I thought to myself "SHIT." And said "Erm, I think you mean FRINGE, Bethany!" and she shouted "MINGE!" again. My mum bolted through the door and had a right go at me because she thought I taught her the word "Minge" when I didn't :v: I was just as shocked and surprised as she was! And another time I was in the bathroom and my little cousin was outside the door constantly asking "What are you doing?" I finally answered "I'm having a wee!" She then shouted and announced throughout the whole house to everyone "JESSIE IS HAVING A WEE, EVERYBODY!!!" I love her to pieces, I really do. But she sure does drive me up the wall sometimes! :v:

[QUOTE=FreyasFighter;40885512]I was on the mainland to see the rest of my family this week, and my four year-old cousin embarrassed me a few times these past few days. She was playing hairdresser's with us, by brushing our hair, one by one :smile: when I was alone in the room however for my turn she asked "JESSIE CAN I BRUSH YOUR MINGE?" I thought to myself "SHIT." And said "Erm, I think you mean FRINGE, Bethany!" and she shouted "MINGE!" again. My mum bolted through the door and had a right go at me because she thought I taught her the word "Minge" when I didn't :v: I was just as shocked and surprised as she was! And another time I was in the bathroom and my little cousin was outside the door constantly asking "What are you doing?" I finally answered "I'm having a wee!" She then shouted and announced throughout the whole house to everyone "JESSIE IS HAVING A WEE, EVERYBODY!!!" I love her to pieces, I really do. But she sure does drive me up the wall sometimes! :v:[/QUOTE] This was pretty darn British.

I shoved a cracker up my nose when I was younger. It bled and I cried/panic'd. I got it out though by myself.

[QUOTE=Frosty701;40893503]I shoved a cracker up my nose when I was younger. It bled and I cried/panic'd. I got it out though by myself.[/QUOTE] Reminds me of my sister who shoved a carrot up her nose and had to go to the doctor to get it out. :v: [editline]4th June 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=The Maestro;40808406]You can turn it from an awkward situation to an awesome one.[/QUOTE] Kind of off topic, but I did turn it into an awesome one. We're going on a date tomorrow! :dance: Will report back here with the embarrassment.

Here's a story I've wanted to tell but was too embarassed. Oh well. I started to have stomach pains one night, and didn't want to eat my food so my mom got concerned. Then turned out that I could not shit. After about 7 months, my mother realised that I should go get a colonoscopy. My bowels were just absolutely filled with dark black shit. So, his answer to getting it out was to pump me up with water, and for me to shit it out. He pumped a bit too much, as I started leaking onto the floor. So I stumbled into the toilet, sat down and still couldn't shit. So, after about 30 minutes of leaking + trying to shit, it was best decided that I should just go home and unleash hell there. I don't think anybody knew that I was still leaking, so I shat myself in the hospital and just went home. tl;dr: was constipated for 7 months, nobody realised that it was constipation until they looked into my ass.

[QUOTE=GentlemanLexi;40922839]Here's a story I've wanted to tell but was too embarassed. Oh well. I started to have stomach pains one night, and didn't want to eat my food so my mom got concerned. Then turned out that I could not shit. After about 7 months, my mother realised that I should go get a colonoscopy. My bowels were just absolutely filled with dark black shit. So, his answer to getting it out was to pump me up with water, and for me to shit it out. He pumped a bit too much, as I started leaking onto the floor. So I stumbled into the toilet, sat down and still couldn't shit. So, after about 30 minutes of leaking + trying to shit, it was best decided that I should just go home and unleash hell there. I don't think anybody knew that I was still leaking, so I shat myself in the hospital and just went home. tl;dr: was constipated for 7 months, nobody realised that it was constipation until they looked into my ass.[/QUOTE] 7 fucking months? Holy hell.

Not embarrassing for me, but for my sister When she was around 12 years old she used to become really sick from moment to moment. After nearly 1 year of this on and off, our parents and doctor managed to figure out that she was [I]touching herself[/I] and didn't wash her hands so she got sick all the time. So my step father (her father) told her to stop touching her self, but she kept getting sick. So she had to go through a lot until she stopped touching herself.

[QUOTE=joshjet;40923325]7 fucking months? Holy hell.[/QUOTE] I couldn't sleep at night, had to constantly just squeeze my asscheeks together.

So I was very young. And back in my neighborhood we used to have block parties every 2 weeks. And since my dad was the head of the townhouse association, he would host them. So when I was at one of the said parties, I really had to take a piss. Like really badly. And my front door was locked. So I saw a lone tree at the corner of the block party facing the street and thought "HMM, THATS NOT A BAD SPOT TO PISS". And at the time, when I went to the bathroom, I took my pants fully off instead of just opening the fly. So I was stood at a tree facing the street taking a piss. Then 2 high school girls drove past in a convertible and wolf whistled at me. I literally collapsed in embarassment.

I was in the shoppette (think convenience store) on base last week to get some coffee and a muffin before I started my shift. I was waiting in line behind one of the guys who works in the office next to mine when the lid popped off my (fresh, boiling hot) coffee and I dropped it out of reflex (I burned my hand). Mopped that up, apologized profusely, and paid. What happens when I get to the fucking door and try to put my hat on? Spill that shit again. On my pants. My uniform smelled like coffee until I'd washed it two or three times.

In 10th grade I tripped on a bag on the floor and fell over near my teacher who was sitting down and my face landed right on her crotch

oh and i did that in front of a class full of 24 other students

[QUOTE=PredGD;40926026]Not embarrassing for me, but for my sister When she was around 12 years old she used to become really sick from moment to moment. After nearly 1 year of this on and off, our parents and doctor managed to figure out that she was [I]touching herself[/I] and didn't wash her hands so she got sick all the time. So my step father (her father) told her to stop touching her self, but she kept getting sick. So she had to go through a lot until she stopped touching herself.[/QUOTE] Oh that happened to me once

Someone please explain the dangers of female masturbation. Is it the girl being stupid about it, or some crazy risk you carry for your whole life regarding bacteria?

[QUOTE=meppers;40953544]oh and i did that in front of a class full of 24 other students[/QUOTE] Did you give her the Dddddictionary?

Not really that embarassing but yet pretty awkward. So I was in the shower with my girlfriend, we have a rather big shower with a lot of space. She was shaving her legs and bowed down. Meanwhile I was about to shave my cock, without any issues at all. Then I had the razzor in my hand, usually I just shake the razzor really hard to remove all the hair. So I was about to shake the razzor down and I accidently hit my fucking dick with it. It hurt so much and I yelled like a little bitch :v: then blood just ran down my cock ontop of my girlfriend. She quickly turned around and saw all the blood from my cock and my face totally in pain. Then we both yelled like little children and it was rather awkward and totally dumb from me, seriously I'm to dumb to shake a razzor properly. Luckily nothing happened, although there was a lot of blood.

Pretty much when I post anything on facepunch...

When I was 5 I had bladder problems. I was sitting on the floor listening to the teacher, shaking my leg trying to hold back the pee. Finally she tells us to go to our tables, and I start hopping around, desperately attempting to hold back the surge of urine. But it was too late. I heard her scream "Who spilled their drink bottle?". I turned around and saw a huge puddle right where I was sitting. It was about 50 centimeters across. When the stench reached the teacher, she immediately looked at me and my legs and ordered me to go to the bathroom. I looked down in shame, which enabled the piss trickling down my legs to become visible to me. I screamed, and ran away, while hearing everyone else laughing at my mess.

A black guy tried to give me a high five and I panicked and gave him a handshake instead. It was the whitest thing ever.

[QUOTE=GentlemanLexi;40922839]Here's a story I've wanted to tell but was too embarassed. Oh well. I started to have stomach pains one night, and didn't want to eat my food so my mom got concerned. Then turned out that I could not shit. After about 7 months, my mother realised that I should go get a colonoscopy. My bowels were just absolutely filled with dark black shit. So, his answer to getting it out was to pump me up with water, and for me to shit it out. He pumped a bit too much, as I started leaking onto the floor. So I stumbled into the toilet, sat down and still couldn't shit. So, after about 30 minutes of leaking + trying to shit, it was best decided that I should just go home and unleash hell there. I don't think anybody knew that I was still leaking, so I shat myself in the hospital and just went home. tl;dr: was constipated for 7 months, nobody realised that it was constipation until they looked into my ass.[/QUOTE] They pumped you with fucking water? Have they never heard of go lightly?

[QUOTE=meppers;40949411]In 10th grade I tripped on a bag on the floor and fell over near my teacher who was sitting down and my face landed right on her crotch[/QUOTE] was she hot if not then may god have mercy on your soul

I met a woman in town and when she left she shouted through the crowd asking for my name. I just stood there in silence, as I forgot what my name was for about 10 seconds :v:

I was once doing that thing where you push a cart just lift your feet go and go drifting. I did that once when I was out of shape and the shopping cart flipped and landed on top of me. So theres this fat fuck in the crisp aisle of morrisons with milk and eggs smashed around him floundering around.

*Opens my package to find a Harley Quinn (from Batman) costume for Halloween* *So excited so I tried it on and so happy that it fits* *Another knock at the door, it was the postman with another package.* *I'm thinking "shit. SHIT. I can't take this off quick enough!"* *So I walk down the stairs and answer the door, dressed as Harley Quinn* *Postman laughs when he sees me* "HAHAHAHAHA This package is addressed for a Mr J!" Me: Oh, right... hahaha! *awkward as fuck* Postman: Is that your husband? Me: No he's my brother... Postman: Oh right. HAHAHA Well you've made my day, "Miss Quinn"! Thanks for that! Me *half asleep and frustrated* "Alright, whatever. kthanksbye!" *shuts the door* *realises that I acted as Harley Quinn's character to the postman as well* *facepalms*

This thread has been dead for a while, but I think it could use some fresh posts. This one's not about me, but I was certainly involved. I was hanging out backstage with some friends during a rehearsal for a play. Among these friends was a fairly attractive, albeit shy, girl who happened to be wearing a low-cut shirt. We were just chilling, and one of us found a little pile of artificial colored feathers. We started throwing them at each other and they got all over our backs. It was good fun, since we couldn't tell whether there were any on us or not. A while later we were sitting around and I picked one up, threw it in the air and blew it towards the shy girl. It flew right into her cleavage. [sp]hole in one[/sp]

I thought orgasm was a nice word for fart. I told my mom I had so many orgasms, that my stomach hurt. i was like 10.

I used to go to my friend Luke's house a lot when I was little and he was a pretty sheltered kid like his parents did basically pretty much everything for him and his mom was pretty protective so naturally one day when he was in the bathroom and i was waiting for him to finish so we could continue playing legos, he was like "Jordan, do you know how to wipe butts?" and I was like "YEAH!" and our moms heard this conversation from the kitchen and by the time they processed what it entailed and rushed into the bathroom to stop me the deed had already been done and I was in the process of throwing a poo-stained piece of toilet paper that I had run in between the cheeks of my friend's ass into the toilet and he was pulling his pants up. ...yeah

So glad this thread got bumped. I love reading these. I started a new job and was still adjusting to the new uniform, so at the end of shift when my FTO was going over what we did that day I was looking at myself in the reflection of the window. He looks over and goes "what are you doing, checking yourself out" ... which I was. I looked badass in the uniform. But I played it off "oh, no, some things were not sitting right on my belt. I was using the reflection to re-seat the items" phew. that was close.

When I was a little kid when I was in a bathroom/restroom I couldn't go to the bathroom unless I took off all my clothes. My shirt included. I also did this in the public. Why.

[QUOTE=Dub!;45040193]When I was a little kid when I was in a bathroom/restroom I couldn't go to the bathroom unless I took off all my clothes. My shirt included. I also did this in the public. Why.[/QUOTE] It took me until the second grade for me to start wiping my ass by myself. Before then, every time I finished a shit I'd yell "MOMMY, I'm DOOONE!" Until she showed up and wiped my ass for me. Moms put up with a lot of shit (pun wasn't intended but now it is)