Sex, Girlfriends and Shit III - General

a girl agreed that she and i will be fwb. it'll be my first, my mom doesn't want me to date until [I]after[/I] college (lol), and I have no idea where to have the sexytimes. her house is crawling with relatives. mine has my overbearing mom. to all the tall people out there, how comfortable is car sex? haha

[QUOTE=waxrock;36124349]a girl agreed that she and i will be fwb. it'll be my first, my mom doesn't want me to date until [I]after[/I] college (lol), and I have no idea where to have the sexytimes. her house is crawling with relatives. mine has my overbearing mom. to all the tall people out there, how comfortable is car sex? haha[/QUOTE] this is the most awkward post you need to sort some issues out with your mom

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36124415]this is the most awkward post you need to sort some issues out with your mom[/QUOTE] story of my life. anyway, as for approaching my mom about it, I'm not sure if I should just sneak around with it or straight up ask her. I'm 80% sure she'll freak the hell out so I'm actually a little bit afraid of asking. Sneaking it is going to be a bitch though.

[QUOTE=TheDestroyerOfall;36121903]My GF and i have a problem. I have a problem in bed, For whatever reason i can't get an erection sometimes, and when i do her problem comes into effect. I try to put it in and it hurts her, so much we have to stop before we do it completely. I'm not sure what to do, as it's around an hour of foreplay each time we try that. Her ex was her first guy to have sex with, and he was around two inches bigger than me. I'm thinking it has to do with her feelings from the breakup, Can someone help me?[/QUOTE] Use some lube next time and see how it goes.

Okay, guys. I don't really know how to write this, so I'm just gonna ramble and hope a point comes out. I met this girl in February at college, she was really nice and fairly attractive. We talked all day about random shit and we seemed to connect pretty well, so I got her number and we kept talking for the rest of the night. Everything seemed fine. Note that my experience with women prior to this is extremely small, so the fact that I actually got a girl's number within a few hours of knowing her is quite surprising to me. So, we keep talking and talking. We open up to each other more and more. I don't really have an interesting past, but she could have written a novel about her childhood. Awful parents, depression, on and on. I find out she has a boyfriend and that throws a wrench in whatever vague plans I had for "us." I was attracted to her, but I kind of gave up after that. I still talked, but I knew nothing was gonna happen. Then she starts giving me her boy problems. I'm the kind of guy that listens to all that bullshit. I'm good at listening and giving feedback. People trust me for whatever reason. I don't know. I listened. Her boyfriend is an idiot. A geeky idiot, but he's an idiot. He has a whole slew of psychological problems, too. I think the main two were manic depression and bipolar disorder. He didn't like taking his meds. I'm aware being on those kind of medicines is not fun in the slightest, but his problems are to the point where it harms others. Such as her. So she explained all this to me. But she told be she was fine with it. She loved him. Blah blah blah. A week later she admits that this isn't the case at all. Their relationship has been in shambles for over a year. Apparently about a year and a half ago, she cheated on him with some douchebag guy. The guy coerced her and took advantage of her while she was distraught, etc. etc. This is gonna be important later. Anyway, ever since then, the relationship was shit. It was essentially just sex. So, here I am. I have a girl that I'm fairly attracted to at this point and actually care about in shambles, awful boyfriend, parents that don't give a fuck about her. So I'm there for her. I reassure her. I give her advice. To me, it only seemed logical that she break up with him. But, the problem is that he's got his problems. How would a guy with his type of problems handle something like that? She cared about him, past the relationship. They've been great friends for a while. She didn't want to lose that. She just didn't want to be in the relationship with him dragging her down. So I encouraged that. I told her it'd be alright. It'd be alright. So she broke up with him. He's fine so far. He didn't take his meds for a few days and had little appetite, but he's fine now. He comes in again later with more bullshit problems, but that's something that doesn't pertain to the whole story. Two weeks later, we hang out. And we start making out. And we're dating. That was a month and two weeks ago. It was awesome. Genuinely awesome. I kissed a girl. I made her feel good. I felt good. I made her happy. That's what I cared about the most. She was happy. Happier than she's been in a very long time. That's all I cared about. But now there's a problem. She's become increasingly dependent on me. All I wanted is for her to be happy. That's what I wanted. I didn't want to see her miserable. But weeks after they broke up, we're dating. She replaced him with me, essentially. But she tells me she makes me happier than anything. She loves me. She needs me. I keep her sane. She'd be nothing without me. Now, I'm fine with the whole "creepily clingy" personality type. But this might just be a little too far. By the way, did I mention that she also has some psychological problems as well? Not nearly as bad as her ex, no, but she's manic depressive. She's cleared from meds and hasn't been on therapy in years, but she has attempted suicide before. The problem should be becoming increasingly apparent by this point. Fast forward to yesterday. Everything's going great. Something I found out very, very quickly into our relationship is that she's quite horny. Extremely horny. Not quite nymphomaniac, but she wouldn't turn down sex if I offered her. So we did it yesterday. That was my first legitimate time with a girl. It went great. For her. I didn't feel anything. Nothing. It felt nice when we kissed and when she bit my neck. Then she started rubbing my cock, jerking me off, licking it, etc. I felt nothing. Not good, not bad, nothing. It was just bare skin on skin. Fucking was boring as hell. It was amazing for her, but I didn't feel pleasure in the slightest. I was happy I made her feel so, so good. But I didn't feel anything. Later that night I was just thinking about the entire thing. Why was I in the relationship? I was making her happy. That's all that mattered. But what happens in 6 months, a year, 2 years down the line, when the relationship gets stale. I can't leave her. She's told me. She'd relapse. She'd go crazy without me. I feel like I'm trapped right now. I just wanted to make her happy. I wanted to be a good friend. I didn't want all that. And now I'm afraid I can't get out of the relationship without endangering someone's life. I don't even know what I want or expect. Whatever. Just glad I got that out. Obviously advice would be nice but whatever.

[QUOTE=waxrock;36124469]story of my life. anyway, as for approaching my mom about it, I'm not sure if I should just sneak around with it or straight up ask her. I'm 80% sure she'll freak the hell out so I'm actually a little bit afraid of asking. Sneaking it is going to be a bitch though.[/QUOTE] In all honestly I MISS the sneaking and skulking around... it makes the whole experience that more exciting. However, in your situation, it sounds like you need a long sit-down talk with your mom. She needs to acknowledge that you're growing up, and that dating is natural. If she's seriously apposed to it, pop out your window and have her climb in whenever your mom goes to bed.

uhh, not supposed to date until after college? holy shit. probably don't want your first time to be in a car though, figure out a way to make it work somewhere comfortable. [editline]29th May 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Unisath;36124529]wall of text[/QUOTE] damn, that's a lot to take in. it's pretty weird you didn't feel anything, have you always not really been sexual that way? i dunno. but the important thing is that you do what will make you happy, even if it doesn't make everyone happy. you shouldn't feel locked in a relationship. if the relationship gets to the point that you really are getting nothing out of it, break it off in the nicest way possible. remember you helped her through a lot and you could probably keep her as a friend, because you're definitely an important person in her life now.

[QUOTE=Unisath;36124529]Story about a fucked up girl and a fucked up guy.[/QUOTE] Dude, I know how you feel and that particular feel that you have for her, the thing about ensuring her and caring for her is beautiful at first. I had the same shit over the past, having a girl that you care for is really something great. But this situation is already a mess, do not make her business yours. It will break you sooner or later. It only creates more problems over the course of time. I would suggest that you leave it, she already acted weird and cheated and whatnot. You really illustrate her as some psychotic freak. Just leave it man, without wanted to sound like a dick.

Yeah that mess of a first post was a combination of me not knowing what the fuck to do and excitement. It's the first time I've actively pursued a girl and really what the fuck was I doing before.

[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;36124570]damn, that's a lot to take in. it's pretty weird you didn't feel anything, have you always not really been sexual that way? i dunno. but the important thing is that you do what will make you happy, even if it doesn't make everyone happy. you shouldn't feel locked in a relationship. if the relationship gets to the point that you really are getting nothing out of it, break it off in the nicest way possible. remember you helped her through a lot and you could probably keep her as a friend, because you're definitely an important person in her life now.[/QUOTE] Helping her in time of need is right, but making a person dependable on you is far worse and helps nothing at all in the end. She might need some time on her own and be single for a while. That helps more than jumping from one relationship into another.

[QUOTE=Unisath;36124529]I don't even know what I want or expect. Whatever. Just glad I got that out. Obviously advice would be nice but whatever.[/QUOTE] That's tough. I don't think it's right to ask "What happens when the relationship gets stale?" though. If you look at it from that perspective, you're never going to have a successful long-term relationship. If you care about this girl, you'll want to be with her for longer than a couple years. I'm not sure if you actually care about her or if you just want her to be a happier person. [editline]29th May 2012[/editline] If you only want her to be a happier person, you can do that outside the field of a dating relationship.

[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;36124570]damn, that's a lot to take in. it's pretty weird you didn't feel anything, have you always not really been sexual that way? i dunno. but the important thing is that you do what will make you happy, even if it doesn't make everyone happy. you shouldn't feel locked in a relationship. if the relationship gets to the point that you really are getting nothing out of it, break it off in the nicest way possible. remember you helped her through a lot and you could probably keep her as a friend, because you're definitely an important person in her life now.[/QUOTE] I was weirded out by the not feeling anything, that's what started me thinking like this. It didn't make sense. I can still jerk off and feel great. Her hand, her mouth, her body did nothing for me. I probably could have gone for an hour or two and still not have came. Also, this is basically the same exact advice that I gave her with her boyfriend. Fuck. I can't take my own advice. [QUOTE=junker|154;36124740]Dude, I know how you feel and that particular feel that you have for her, the thing about ensuring her and caring for her is beautiful at first. I had the same shit over the past, having a girl that you care for is really something great. But this situation is already a mess, do not make her business yours. It will break you sooner or later. It only creates more problems over the course of time. I would suggest that you leave it, she already acted weird and cheated and whatnot. You really illustrate her as some psychotic freak. Just leave it man, without wanted to sound like a dick.[/QUOTE] She's not a psychotic freak like you're thinking. She has her problems, but she's not insane. And I actually forgot to mention the part with the cheating. She talked to him yesterday and forgave him for what he did to her. After I told her not to, because he's in insufferable douchebag. I'm not saying that I should have all the control over her decisions, but for fuck's sake, you don't forgive someone for taking advantage of you. [QUOTE=CaptainQuirk;36124793]That's tough. I don't think it's right to ask "What happens when the relationship gets stale?" though. If you look at it from that perspective, you're never going to have a successful long-term relationship. If you care about this girl, you'll want to be with her for longer than a couple years. I'm not sure if you actually care about her or if you just want her to be a happier person. [editline]29th May 2012[/editline] If you only want her to be a happier person, you can do that outside the field of a dating relationship.[/QUOTE] That last part is what killed me. I just wanted her to be happy and free of her problems. I felt like I could do that. I've done it with people before. But this... it's almost too much. I didn't want the relationship like this. Especially not my first proper one.

Hmm, but it really sounds like she is just "using" you to deal with her current problems. Besides it seems you are desperatly clinging on to her. Just keep some distance and do not get more involved, it will hurt you more in the end. It does right now. Just my humble opinion.

God people are fucking stupid was in a group at school and they ere saying you can have unprotected and use the morning after isn't that a little risky and fucking dumb

that's p.kinky

[QUOTE=Lexinator;36126329]God people are fucking stupid was in a group at school and they ere saying you can have unprotected and use the morning after isn't that a little risky and fucking dumb[/QUOTE] it's not really too risky, but it's stupid to have it as your only plan for contraception. and doing that too much can throw your hormones off.

this thread makes me sad :( after years of being in the friend zone and settling for girls that like me and not girls that i like, i've developed a sense of not being good enough for any girl i feel any sort of feelings for. its kind of depressing, but it stops the heartache. i just cling to the belief that someone perfect will come along eventually. but man she's taking her fucking time.

[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;36126890]it's not really too risky, but it's stupid to have it as your only plan for contraception. and doing that too much can throw your hormones off.[/QUOTE] But the failure rate what is it then..

One of my best friends suggested having a threesome with me and his baby's mom. I'd totally fuck his baby momma, and I have my suspicions she'd have sex with me too, but I think he was suggesting we should do this because he already thought I had sex with his baby mama (which is true he did think this, but I didn't, he just thinks I could if I wanted to) He has a newborn with this chick, and I totally love their daughter. I'm great friends with the dad, and the mom, and I love them all.

[QUOTE=Lexinator;36127362]But the failure rate what is it then..[/QUOTE] You don't seem to understand contraceptives. We live in a modern world. Most people don't use goat intestines as condoms and the "pull out method" as their go-to mode of operation. Contraceptives work. Female condoms don't work so much, but otherwise, it's all pretty good. The morning after pill will pretty much be a guaranteed baby-preventer. I don't know the particular percentages and decimals, but you're worrying about these far too much. Condoms make sex feel less wonderful, but it still feels wonderful. Condoms prevent pregnancies. Morning after pill prevents pregnancies but can throw off your hormones if you take it too often. They BOTH prevent pregnancies. Very effectively. The Pill does too. It's all good. [editline]30th May 2012[/editline] I think those are all the things I've heard you ask...

[QUOTE=Otsegolation;36127820]One of my best friends suggested having a threesome with me and his baby's mom. I'd totally fuck his baby momma, and I have my suspicions she'd have sex with me too, but I think he was suggesting we should do this because he already thought I had sex with his baby mama (which is true he did think this, but I didn't, he just thinks I could if I wanted to) He has a newborn with this chick, and I totally love their daughter. I'm great friends with the dad, and the mom, and I love them all.[/QUOTE] Sounds like an incredibly stupid idea

[QUOTE=Otsegolation;36127820]One of my best friends suggested having a threesome with me and his baby's mom. I'd totally fuck his baby momma, and I have my suspicions she'd have sex with me too, but I think he was suggesting we should do this because he already thought I had sex with his baby mama (which is true he did think this, but I didn't, he just thinks I could if I wanted to) He has a newborn with this chick, and I totally love their daughter. I'm great friends with the dad, and the mom, and I love them all.[/QUOTE] what kind of trailer park do you live in?

[QUOTE=Poo Monst3r;36127119]i just cling to the belief that someone perfect will come along eventually. but man she's taking her fucking time.[/QUOTE] well you can't just sit around waiting for her to come around, you've got to get up and go find her. cheesy as hell, but true. if you're only waiting for her to find you then you could be waiting a long time [QUOTE=thisispain;36129532]there's no perfect someone. compromise is just part of growing up i'm afraid.[/QUOTE] and this

[QUOTE=Poo Monst3r;36127119] i just cling to the belief that someone perfect will come along eventually. but man she's taking her fucking time.[/QUOTE] there's no perfect someone. compromise is just part of growing up i'm afraid.

[QUOTE=Autumn;36129461]well you can't just sit around waiting for her to come around, you've got to get up and go find her. cheesy as hell, but true. if you're only waiting for her to find you then you could be waiting a long time[/QUOTE] I disagree with this, to an extent. I strongly believe that if you want to meet someone you should put yourself out there and meet new people, but you can't just go looking for a partner; it just has to happen naturally.

"it has to happen naturally" is completely vague, just as much as "looking for a partner" is. i'm pretty sure you both said the same thing, just with different phrasing. by looking for a partner it means you have to actually meet people that could be your partner.

all i meant is that just sitting on your butt waiting for things to happen isn't going to achieve anything. you have to be proactive in going out, socialising and meeting new people or you won't get anywhere.

[QUOTE=Autumn;36129902]all i meant is that just sitting on your butt waiting for things to happen isn't going to achieve anything. you have to be proactive in going out, socialising and meeting new people or you won't get anywhere.[/QUOTE] Okay, sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying; I completely agree.

The morning after pill is pretty expensive as well.

[QUOTE=Badballer;36130077]The morning after pill is pretty expensive as well.[/QUOTE] true, it's about £23 if you buy it from a chemists here in the UK, but you can get it for free if you go and see a doctor/nurse practitioner - hurrah NHS but we've already agreed that sex without any form of contraception and then only relying on the morning after pill is dumb