[QUOTE=Rhenae;37236267]Why are you gf not letting you have sex with them if they go that far otherwise?
Try advancements and see if they object?[/QUOTE]
She's a Catholic and maintains that she wants to wait till marriage. I'm pretty sure she's not going to change her mind on it. We've dated for over a year so it's not like I'm not used to it or anything.
i guess im just a little frustrated by it sometimes
[QUOTE=DarkendSky;37239465]She's a Catholic and maintains that she wants to wait till marriage. I'm pretty sure she's not going to change her mind on it. We've dated for over a year so it's not like I'm not used to it or anything.
i guess im just a little frustrated by it sometimes[/QUOTE]
Haha, that's way worse than my situation.
I take it all back. You've put things in perspective for me, and I am at peace.
[QUOTE=Autumn;37211105]idk, you can go several months without a serious relationship and still fulfil your uh, sexual needs[/QUOTE]
I've tried explaining this to a friend many many times.
He still sees it as "immoral" to have no strings sex, yet constantly whines, complains and wants sex all the time.
What do?
Gosh, I don't think I even [I]could[/I] marry a lady without first having slept with her. Maybe that makes me shallow, but sexual compatibility just seems like a very important part of a healthy romantic relationship. Maybe not the cornerstone, but a load-bearing interior wall? Sure, definitely!
[editline]14th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Ereunity;37239746]I've tried explaining this to a friend many many times.
He still sees it as "immoral" to have no strings sex, yet constantly whines, complains and wants sex all the time.
What do?[/QUOTE]
I've got no moral gripes about sex outside of a relationship, but I can understand not wanting to sleep with somebody you've got no real feelings for. I've been down that road once or twice before, and it always leaves me feeling a bit goofy about myself. It's just not an idea that interests me a whole heck of a lot! If it just sorta fell into my lap (hehe), I'd probably roll with it, but I'm not the sort who deliberately seeks a no-strings-attached arrangement.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37239800]Gosh, I don't think I even [I]could[/I] marry a lady without first having slept with her. Maybe that makes me shallow, but sexual compatibility just seems like a very important part of a healthy romantic relationship. Maybe not the cornerstone, but a load-bearing interior wall? Sure, definitely!
[/QUOTE]
Sometimes I think BDA is actually an extension of the reader's conciousness and is not actually a person or indeed a real user of Facepunch. He's sort of like an optical illusion, but for the internet. Because damn, everything he says is pretty much exactly what I was thinking, just written better generally.
Also I hit reply on his post to say this and his edit appeared in the box but not actually on the post. Weird.
[QUOTE=Ereunity;37239746]I've tried explaining this to a friend many many times.
He still sees it as "immoral" to have no strings sex, yet constantly whines, complains and wants sex all the time.
What do?[/QUOTE]
it's a nice romanticised view to have, but it really is possible to have no strings sex without anyone getting hurt, you've just both gotta both have the right attitude towards it.
out of interest, how old is he? in my opinion, it's a slightly immature view to have, and it might be something he'll grow out of. but it may not be! i know some people who have that mindset for their lives. and if that suits them, so be it
to be honest i don't think there's a lot you can say that's going to change his mind. he thinks he's on the moral high ground and probably doesn't want to come down. but in the end, sex is completely normal and natural, and so long as you're not an idiot about it (and choose your partners fairly wisely) you should be just fine. just tell him to quit his moaning if he's not willing to sacrifice his morals
Yeah, if you don't actually have sex pre-marriage, you're either taking a huge gamble in regards to your sexual compatibility or you just want to have sex. Either way, those aren't good choices.
Also, not wanting to have sex is usually a good indication that something is wrong (now that I have learned this personally, this is actually important to watch for).
I found out my girlfriend was planning to dump me so I dumped her in advance and she came to me, begging me to take her back, that her family problems led her to conspire against me. After some sexy time I took her back, is it wrong that I'm in it only for the sex? She gets to feel love and think I love her back, I get sexy time, is there some moral boundary here? When she's ready to move on, I'll let her leave me and I'll move on with life.
uh that's kind of wrong yeah
i mean lying is... bad
yeah you're a dick
[QUOTE=Jarate Lover;37242389]I found out my girlfriend was planning to dump me so I dumped her in advance and she came to me, begging me to take her back, that her family problems led her to conspire against me. After some sexy time I took her back, is it wrong that I'm in it only for the sex? She gets to feel love and think I love her back, I get sexy time, is there some moral boundary here? When she's ready to move on, I'll let her leave me and I'll move on with life.[/QUOTE]
If that's your reasoning of sticking with her, yeah you are kind of an ass.
if you're only interested in her for sex then you need to make that [B]really[/B] clear
[editline]15th August 2012[/editline]
there's nothing wrong with having sex with someone and not feeling anything more for them BUT it is not cool to use lies and deceit to get there, especially when it's a situation like this
this situation you're in, it's not good
Good to know.
I am not sure about the feelings you both might still have for each other (this might complicate things), but if you just want to be sex buddies, you should make that quite clear.
[QUOTE=Jarate Lover;37242758]Good to know.[/QUOTE]
On the next episode of SGSIII:
[I]Does the conflicted Jarate take the honest advice from several objective third parties whom he specifically asked to receive that advice from, or does he dismiss their well-intentioned observations as invalid simply because it was not what he wanted to hear? Autumn and the boys eagerly await a resolution to his dillemna, but only time will prove whether he is a good and honest man, or a weak-willed jerklord![/I]
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37243119]On the next episode of SGSIII:
[I]Does the conflicted Jarate take the honest advice from several objective third parties whom he specifically asked to receive that advice from, or does he dismiss their advice as invalid simply because it was not what he wanted to hear? Autumn and the boys eagerly await a resolution to his dillemna, but only time will prove whether he is a good and honest man, or a weak-willed jerklord![/I][/QUOTE]
>Assumes I wanted advice.
>Assumptions killed the asshole. (See what I did there?)
I just wanted to know the social standard of the situation.
[QUOTE=Jarate Lover;37243148]>Assumes I wanted advice.
>Assumptions killed the asshole. (See what I did there?)
I just wanted to know the social standard of the situation.[/QUOTE]
And now, the thrilling conclusion!
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37243119]On the next episode of SGSIII:
[I]Does the conflicted Jarate take the honest advice from several objective third parties whom he specifically asked to receive that advice from, or does he dismiss their well-intentioned observations as invalid simply because it was not what he wanted to hear? Autumn and the boys eagerly await a resolution to his dillemna, but only time will prove whether he is a good and honest man, or a weak-willed jerklord![/I][/QUOTE]
Is it bad that I read this in the voice of the Dragonball Z announcer guy?
[QUOTE=Jarate Lover;37243148]>Assumes I wanted advice.
>Assumptions killed the asshole. (See what I did there?)
I just wanted to know the social standard of the situation.[/QUOTE]
a. this isn't /b/ there's no greentext
b. don't say "sexy time"
c. asking for people's view of your actions and relationship as a whole is asking for advice
[QUOTE=Jarate Lover;37243148]>Assumes I wanted advice.[/QUOTE]
yeah i know sorry about that assumption i mean it's only the point of the thread or whatev
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37243241]so you have discovered the social standard is against emotional and sexual profiteering[/QUOTE]
Who'da friggen thunk it?
So it's pretty much either he already wanted to break up, and now he just wants to use her for sex and he's a horrible person, or he felt betrayed and broke up with her, but wants to be with her again and just said the sex thing because he wanted to be Cool On The Internet or something.
I hope the later because the former is just so mean-spirited in my view.
[QUOTE=DarkendSky;37243423]So it's pretty much either he already wanted to break up, and now he just wants to use her for sex and he's a horrible person, or he felt betrayed and broke up with her, but wants to be with her again and just said the sex thing because he wanted to be Cool On The Internet or something.
I hope the later because the former is just so mean-spirited in my view.[/QUOTE]
Both.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37243119]On the next episode of SGSIII:
[I]Does the conflicted Jarate take the honest advice from several objective third parties whom he specifically asked to receive that advice from, or does he dismiss their well-intentioned observations as invalid simply because it was not what he wanted to hear?[B] Autumn and the boys [/B]eagerly await a resolution to his dillemna, but only time will prove whether he is a good and honest man, or a weak-willed jerklord![/I][/QUOTE]
:c
Really though, who posts in an advice thread then gets defensive when they get advice?
[QUOTE=Jarate Lover;37244753]Both.[/QUOTE]
Dude that literally makes no sense
It's like you're trying to backpedal but don't have the heart to try and convince us you aren't being mean
[quote]DarkendSky posted:
She's a Catholic and maintains that she wants to wait till marriage. I'm pretty sure she's not going to change her mind on it. We've dated for over a year so it's not like I'm not used to it or anything.
i guess im just a little frustrated by it sometimes[/quote]
So you are willing to stay frustrated for romance or is it maybe because you've become accustomed to her and it (the situation) that you just can't fathom a sudden change to your life, thus making said above sacrifices?
[editline]15th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Ereunity;37239746]I've tried explaining this to a friend many many times.
He still sees it as "immoral" to have no strings sex, yet constantly whines, complains and wants sex all the time.
What do?[/QUOTE]
Tell him to cut the bullshit. Either stop whining about the so called "unfairness" of life or enjoy the status quo he has chosen for himself.
[QUOTE=DarkendSky;37239465]She's a Catholic and maintains that she wants to wait till marriage. I'm pretty sure she's not going to change her mind on it. We've dated for over a year so it's not like I'm not used to it or anything.[/QUOTE]
My girlfriend lives in a very catholic household and viewed herself as catholic at first. Then she decided that she wasn't catholic because she's cool with homosexuality and against quite a bit of the more conservative commands in the bible. And she decided that it's fine to have sex with someone who you're really strongly emotionally connected with. So it pretty much came down to if we loved each other or not. I really wanted to be absolutely positive that I loved her much faster than I actually was, but I waited until I was much more sure of how I felt to tell her anything. Which made that take a lot longer than it could have.
But we had sex before that, it just wasn't full on penetrative intercourse. Because religion still held the idea in her head that that was more special than 69ing for whatever reason. She didn't get very good at blowjobs until recently though. So I feel like she got more out of that earlier stuff. Not that I didn't dig it too.
And now you all know more than you ever needed to about my sex life.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37244957]:c
Really though, who posts in an advice thread then gets defensive when they get advice?[/QUOTE]
Don't worry, I remember you Rhenae!
In other news, me and my girlfriend always have the same problem when going out: We can never decide on what we want to do. The conversation usually goes like this "Do you want to go X?" "If you'd like to." "Well, what about Y?" "I guess, if that's what you want to do." same thing happens if we decide to get something to eat. I would end up with someone just as indecisive as myself.
yeah it usually takes about 2 hours for us to decide what to do
most of the time we just say fuck it anyway
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