Sex, Girlfriends and Shit III - General

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;37364247]Oh you guys misunderstand! It's not like we hopped right to the sex. Months of foreplay sort've tided us over until the big moment. I think we started doing shit at month 5? Me and her both not having any sexual experience helped it to, I suppose. But now, we're eager to try anything and everything.[/QUOTE] i think its weird how people wait like, a few months into a relationship to start getting intimate and shit like, in every relationship i've ever been in foreplay starts going down a few weeks in its not like i rush anything, it just happens naturally you know?

I'm glad everyone is replying in a nice way, this is great. This is why I love this thread! You can just talk about things and everyone (most of the time) goes about it in a nice way.

loopoo you sound like you are on ecstasy

[QUOTE=Rediscover;37364356]i think its weird how people wait like, a few months into a relationship to start getting intimate and shit like, in every relationship i've ever been in foreplay starts going down a few weeks in its not like i rush anything, it just happens naturally you know?[/QUOTE] Big question is: is it really a relationship, or just a fling? I mean, if you've only been together 4 months before you break up, that isn't a relationship to me. That's more of a fling. I feel relationships are longer-lasting. But that's not to say you can't be with a girl for a month and be in a relationship, it all depends entirely on your situation. But I'm just saying not to confuse relationship with fling. When I have a fling, foreplay and sex definitely happens a lot quicker, but we usually end up going our separate ways after only a couple months. [editline]23rd August 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=thisispain;37364373]loopoo you sound like you are on ecstasy[/QUOTE] I'm just a happy person, buddy. But yeah, the ecstasy helps. [editline]23rd August 2012[/editline] Also, RenegadeCop, I was exactly like you. When I got into my relationship at 17, we took it slow and didn't actually have any sort of foreplay till about the 4-5 month mark. I was happy with that though, I think it was the best for both of us. The hugs and hand-holding were fine for the beginning, then slowly we just realized that we were comfortable taking things to the next level. I wouldn't change it if I went back.

i started most of my relationships at parties so for me it's on from day 1 baby

[QUOTE=loopoo;37364342]I'm not trying to glorify sex or put it on a pedestal, but I'm of the opinion that relationships that get started quickly where you and your girlfriend have sex within two weeks is destined to end badly, because that's more like a fling than a proper relationship.[/QUOTE] that's an inaccurate generalization, it depends entirely on the person and what they're comfortable with.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;37364233]So you would end a relationship if the other person wasn't ready to have sex? I understand a year and a half is a long time to wait, but all of my past relationships have been rushed to hell and back and all ended terribly, taking it slow has worked out a lot better for us. As of now, we are completely comfortable with one another, not a single thing we can't talk about and we can be ourselves in front of each other. But that's just us, every relationship is different. Knowing that, I can't really judge anyone else.[/QUOTE] If she took that long and I was more than ready, yes I would. If she isn't ready to have sex for whatever reason she should tell me the problem and we would work on it, and if it isn't a problem that can be solved or something that requires me to change myself, then I would back out. I am not changing myself for the girl and if the girl expects me to just drag my feet then its not going to happen. I also don't want to sit around with blue balls aka foreplay for 5 months. Doing stuff earlier isn't rushing if you and your partner are mature enough to handle it.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37364386]Big question is: is it really a relationship, or just a fling? I mean, if you've only been together 4 months before you break up, that isn't a relationship to me. That's more of a fling. I feel relationships are longer-lasting. But that's not to say you can't be with a girl for a month and be in a relationship, it all depends entirely on your situation. But I'm just saying not to confuse relationship with fling. When I have a fling, foreplay and sex definitely happens a lot quicker, but we usually end up going our separate ways after only a couple months. [/QUOTE] a few of them were flings, i guess. but thats only because i used to be really bad at deciding which girls i liked, because i used to (used to meaning a couple years ago, around when i was a freshman in highschool) date girls just because they were pretty and popular and i wanted to be like 'yeah i date her, what about it?' and feel good about myself. and they turned out to be super slutty and it was always awful in the end i'm better about it now, my current girlfriend (while admittedly pretty and popular) is like, really awesome and trustworthy and smart and stuff so its great and most definitely not a fling. i'm not really sure what the point i'm trying to make is but yeah

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;37364581]You can still cum during foreplay. I did it all the time, but I'm not going to go into details about that :v:[/QUOTE] Not the point, point is I shouldn't be having foreplay and no actual sex for months on end. That's a problem in my book if it takes that long to get accustomed to the idea of sex with a partner, because its not a big deal in the long run (the act isn't, the feelings of being comfortable enough to do that is major cornerstone/milestone).

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37364462]that's an inaccurate generalization, it depends entirely on the person and what they're comfortable with.[/QUOTE] Not always. If you enter a relationship with a mature attitude, where you realize you want to have a meaningful relationship, you're both spending a lot of time figuring out the person's personality and sex isn't really a big part of the picture at that moment in time. I think it's safe to say that we each realize when we want to get involved in a serious relationship, right? Because I'll personally have a couple of flings than realize I want something more, so I'll bide my time waiting for the right girl. I'll probably hang out with a bunch of girls, and then I'll find the right one and think "I wouldn't mind being in a meaningful relationship with her. She makes me happy, she is easy to talk to and she really makes me laugh." Those sorts of relationships will last a good long while and sex doesn't really pop into the picture very fast. But again, like everyone has said, at the end of the day it entirely depends on the people involved and their situation. I'm not saying "If you have sex within the first week, your relationship is going to end, full stop." I'm saying that, generally speaking, relationships that start with sex right at the beginning aren't really relationships as much as they are flings. Like DarkendSky said, he starts most of his relationships at parties, so things start from day 1. Perhaps he can chip in and let us know how long his relationships averagely last. Probably not as long, because both him and the girl are entering the relationship with the mentality of "I'm looking to have a bit of fun, then move on, I don't really want anything serious". A bunch of my friends at school generally just get with another person for a couple weeks to a couple months then break it up, they're not in it for the long-run and they're both completely okay with that.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37364719]Probably not as long, because both him and the girl are entering the relationship with the mentality of "I'm looking to have a bit of fun, then move on, I don't really want anything serious".[/QUOTE] and who's to say there's no "i want to have fun right now *a few weeks/months later* actually this person is pretty damn awesome and i really want to go a long way with them" i can completely understand that some people do want to wait for a while until having sex with their SO, but whilst everybody respects that i think you should also try and respect some peoples choices to have sexual relations from day one. so i agree with guy mannly, i think it's a pretty innaccurate generalisation to throw out there.

Like I said before, it's not a be-all-end-all circumstance. I've known a bunch of my friends who have flings and end up being with each other for a year, sometimes longer. But, in my personal experience, and in my friends' experience, when you get involved with sex from the get-go, it doesn't last as long. The situation you said is a rare one. If anything, you'll have sex then after a few weeks/months later, realize what a jerk the other person is, or just realize you don't click. That's what happens more often than not. Lots of school drama from girls who have sex from the get-go, then realize the guy was a douchebag, or guys who have sex from the get-go and realize the girl was so-and-so.

nope, sorry, i still really disagree with that. but it's fine, we all have our own opinions here! i think you're going to find that the older people get, the less amount of time they're willing to hold out before having sex. i'd be very surprised if you could find a majority of couples aged 25+ that waited more than a few weeks before having sex for the first time. [editline]23rd August 2012[/editline] when you're younger, sure but then if we're talking percentages, what's the likelihood of a teenage romance working out as compared to a mid 20s/30s one?

I suppose you're right. I'm still only 19 and I'm entering uni next year, so I'll probably look back on this and chuckle. I probably seem really naive to a lot of you.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37364822]Like I said before, it's not a be-all-end-all circumstance. I've known a bunch of my friends who have flings and end up being with each other for a year, sometimes longer. But, in my personal experience, and in my friends' experience, when you get involved with sex from the get-go, it doesn't last as long.[/QUOTE] and how old are you?

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;37364817]I'm ready for sex, but I don't think my girlfriend is. She's way too shy. She's barely able to kiss me without blushing like crazy, let alone ready to take off any clothes. It'll take as long as it takes, I guess.[/QUOTE] And if you are patient enough to wait around and the relationship makes up for it in other areas, that's fine. But for me a girl/situation like that isn't something I find ideal and would probably not see myself going through. Like a hardcore Christian/Catholic with no sex before marriage, I wouldn't like that regardless of my position as an atheist. I can tolerate/ignore her beliefs if she is willing to do the same for me, but if I can't honestly see myself marrying her then its just a dead end waiting to happen.

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;37364817]I'm ready for sex, but I don't think my girlfriend is. She's way too shy. She's barely able to kiss me without blushing like crazy, let alone ready to take off any clothes. It'll take as long as it takes, I guess.[/QUOTE] The bed is a God-send. Get under the covers, it might help with her shyness. [editline]23rd August 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37364887]and how old are you?[/QUOTE] 19, 20 in October. Due to changing countries a lot, I got held back a year, so I'm one year late in joining Uni, but I can't complain, doesn't bother me much. Perhaps when I join uni, I'll realize how different everything is. [editline]23rd August 2012[/editline] I mean this year, I'm starting uni in Sept.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37364895]The bed is a God-send. Get under the covers, it might help with her shyness.[/QUOTE] Not just the bed, also the hands. Go full retard with those things grabbing all sorts of places!

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;37364963]How would I convince her to get under the covers with me?[/QUOTE] I'm not aware of your situation enough. I guess since she's too shy kissing you, it's a bit of a no-goer. You'll have to figure this out yourself, buddy. Best of luck :v: Me and my girl, it was easier. We both were comfortable getting frisky, but she wasn't comfortable taking her clothes off in front of me. So I picked her up, and romantically carried her to the bed (wasn't romantic [I]at all[/I] because the damn doors were too narrow and I had to keep twisting weirdly to get us through). Then we just crawled under the covers and before we knew it, four hours gone.

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;37364963]How would I convince her to get under the covers with me?[/QUOTE] "oh shit dude there's some chocolate under here. it's that fancy swiss stuff. oh shit almonds and praline? come check this out!"

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;37364963]How would I convince her to get under the covers with me?[/QUOTE] How long have you been dating? Do you sleep at her house/she at yours?

[QUOTE=thisispain;37365014]"oh shit dude there's some chocolate under here. it's that fancy swiss stuff. oh shit almonds and praline? come check this out!"[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://lindorlindttruffles.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/lindor_lindt_truffles.jpg[/IMG] Sprinkling that under the covers would get her under. Lindt is the nicest damn chocolate ever.

So... is there any benefit to not masturbating for a week or so?

[QUOTE=loopoo;37364719] Like DarkendSky said, he starts most of his relationships at parties, so things start from day 1. Perhaps he can chip in and let us know how long his relationships averagely last. Probably not as long, because both him and the girl are entering the relationship with the mentality of "I'm looking to have a bit of fun, then move on, I don't really want anything serious". A bunch of my friends at school generally just get with another person for a couple weeks to a couple months then break it up, they're not in it for the long-run and they're both completely okay with that.[/QUOTE] actually my shortest relationships i started with the good old 'hey wanna see a movie or something'. i met the girl i've been dating for about one and a half years at a party. we already knew each other but i pretty much just knew her name and nothing else.

[QUOTE=MrBob1337;37365084]So... is there any benefit to not masturbating for a week or so?[/QUOTE] Not for a week, to notice benefits of masturbating/not masturbating you have to do it for a while longer than that. I don't know why you would want to though, masturbating lowers your chance for prostate cancer, relieves stress, induces happy feelings and can help you last longer.

[QUOTE=MrBob1337;37365084]So... is there any benefit to not masturbating for a week or so?[/QUOTE] other than being incredibly pent up if thats your thing (not a benefit) a thing they literally tell people is to jerk it the day before having sex with someone to increase fertility chances so maybe take that into account.

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;37365134]After you don't masturbate for about a week, and then do so, the orgasm you experience feels amazing. The longer you go, the better the feeling.[/QUOTE] That isn't really a benefit to me though, at least not worth it in comparison.

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37364007]i think rushing it might be sorta bad but i rated disagree because i really dont think just having sex in less than a year and a half is rushing it life is about taking risks and pushing your comfort zone as long as you are well informed[/QUOTE] and, in addition to those things, short

[QUOTE=MrBob1337;37365084]So... is there any benefit to not masturbating for a week or so?[/QUOTE] see if you can find my post a few pages back, I list all the effects I'm having from not masturbating for a few weeks actually i found it for you: [quote] -i feel more confident, an increased feeling of control in everything that i do -i sleep harder, and wake up feeling more refreshed -more aggressive, i feel like making bolder moves in general -workouts feel more fulfilling -for some reason, i'm more approachable by people -always alert, focused -more perceptive to people's emotions don't get me wrong, when it gets to the point where i absolutely cannot focus on anything else, then that's my cue to start over until then, it's a pretty enjoyable experience[/quote]

I don't understand why a couple of people keep insisting not masturbating for a few weeks doesn't have any benefits. If you've actually abstained for more than a few days, you'll know that the whole "there aren't any benefits to it" is not true. You'll feel much more confident. It's a great feeling. Testosterone levels spike after the 7th day of abstaining.