[QUOTE=djshox;37380862]that's a dangerous recipe for disaster, gotta say[/QUOTE]
As in, the girlfriend might become annoyed that he thinks she's okay with it?
[QUOTE=djshox;37380793]remember, you're dating HER not her sexual history. you may never know if she's thinking the same about yours
obviously i'll say move on past her history, but it's easier said than done, i've got faith in you though
[/QUOTE]
It really doesn't bother me as much as it use too. I'm really not sure why it bothers me so much but Its between two reasons I think. They guy she did it with is a piece of shit, abuses his girlfriend and what not. Hes also like in his 30s which I also think factors into it. Or It could be I am very jealous of it, but I don't think its jealousy.
[editline]23rd August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=loopoo;37380826]Look at the bright side, if she's done a threesome before, she may be willing to do it again :v:[/QUOTE]
Iv asked her about it and all but I don't think I could do that to her.
What the fuck, he's 30? How old is your girlfriend? The guy sounds like a creep.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37381009]What the fuck, he's 30? How old is your girlfriend? The guy sounds like a creep.[/QUOTE]
She is 19. She was like 17? when it happen.
[QUOTE=BusterBluth;37380995]Or It could be I am very jealous of it, but I don't think its jealousy, [/QUOTE]
It might be that you imagine the threesome whenever it's brought up, and the thought of your girlfriend with another guy sexually hits you like a brick and and end up getting all pissed.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37380902]As in, the girlfriend might become annoyed that he thinks she's okay with it?[/QUOTE]
that's one reason sure, but i'm talking about the act itself
from what i've heard, couples bringing in someone else for a threesome almost always have their relationship fall apart after in the most dreadful ways. it's almost like a death sentence for relationships
[QUOTE=BusterBluth;37380995]It really doesn't bother me as much as it use too. I'm really not sure why it bothers me so much but Its between two reasons I think. They guy she did it with is a piece of shit, abuses his girlfriend and what not. Hes also like in his 30s which I also think factors into it. Or It could be I am very jealous of it, but I don't think its jealousy.
[editline]23rd August 2012[/editline]
Iv asked her about it and all but I don't think I could do that to her.[/QUOTE]
i'm sure even if it was a super nice and awesome guy it'd still be hard for you, and that's totally understandable
[QUOTE=insane taco;37381036]It might be that you imagine the threesome whenever it's brought up, and the thought of your girlfriend with another guy sexually hits you like a brick and and end up getting all pissed.[/QUOTE]
Yes exactly, but its not really a reasonable way to feel about it considering it happen a couple years in the past.
[QUOTE=BusterBluth;37381058]Yes exactly, but its not really a reasonable way to feel about it considering it happen a couple years in the past.[/QUOTE]
Yeah the best thing you can do man is just try to forget about it. All that matters is that she's with you now. I had the same problem because my girlfriend had three boyfriends before me and I know that two of them she did foreplay with, but no sex. The best way I got over that personally was just that I thought to myself that I'm the one who took her virginity, as she took mine, and that she's mine and no one else's.
Not saying that she's mine in a controlling way, but rather she's my gal if you know what i'm saying.
[QUOTE=insane taco;37381087]Yeah the best thing you can do man is just try to forget about it. All that matters is that she's with you now. I had the same problem because my girlfriend had three boyfriends before me and I know that two of them she did foreplay with, but no sex. The best way I got over that personally was just that I thought to myself that I'm the one who took her virginity, as she took mine, and that she's mine and no one else's.
Not saying that she's mine in a controlling way, but rather she's my gal if you know what i'm saying.[/QUOTE]
Well see I'm the ninth batter here, in terms of sexual partners. None of the others really bother me but this just is always there.
[QUOTE=djshox;37381049]from what i've heard, couples bringing in someone else for a threesome almost always have their relationship fall apart after in the most dreadful ways. it's almost like a death sentence for relationships[/QUOTE]
i think it really depends on the couple and whether they distinguish sex as separate from love. some people place a high amount of significance in it and equate it to the intimacy of their relationship while others don't take it as seriously.
[QUOTE=insane taco;37381087]Yeah the best thing you can do man is just try to forget about it. All that matters is that she's with you now. I had the same problem because my girlfriend had three boyfriends before me and I know that two of them she did foreplay with, but no sex. The best way I got over that personally was just that I thought to myself that I'm the one who took her virginity, as she took mine, and that she's mine and no one else's.
Not saying that she's mine in a controlling way, but rather she's my gal if you know what i'm saying.[/QUOTE]
You do realise that when youre a bit older expecting your girlfriend to have had sex with nobody is a bit unrealistic right? Im guessing you're still mid teens because it's a pretty childish view to have and certainly her having a bit of experience can make all the difference between eh its ok sex and great sex. You should be secure in your relationship and not let it bother you as I dont see theres anything to be bothered about.
Is it bad if this girl I kinda like just wants to be fwb?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37381231]i think it really depends on the couple and whether they distinguish sex as separate from love. some people place a high amount of significance in it and equate it to the intimacy of their relationship while others don't take it as seriously.[/QUOTE]
I am aware of a couple a bit older than myself whove been together about 10 years who bring a third person to bed from time to time (not necessarily the same person each time) but they have a really weird dominant/submissive thing going on.
[editline]24th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Brandon;37383838]Is it bad if this girl I kinda like just wants to be fwb?[/QUOTE]
As long as you can manage the task of emotionally distancing yourself. If you want a relationship with this girl and think its second best forget it. You will only be hurt when she finds someone to be in a relationship with (it wont be you)
He won't learn unless he gets hurt.
im so scared how this girl will still feel about me whenever im back in town or how we could ever be together.
shes staying in our home town for now until she figures out what shes doing with her life so i hope she'll figure something out soon but who knows, she wont talk about it because it frustrates her and hates it. but like im just terrified she'll lose her feelings for me and what if she doesnt? if i stay up here at college for the next 4 years, the longest ill be away from school is summer for 3 months and that just doesnt feel like enough. i mean if she was literally crying over the fact that im leaving and couldnt let go of me when we were saying goodbye maybe my odds are good
idk im rambling guys because my mind is all wacked out currently
[QUOTE=BusterBluth;37380527]It was her bestfriend and her boyfriend.
[editline]23rd August 2012[/editline]
It was a couple years ago but fuck it still sucks[/QUOTE]
I sort of had a similar experience. It's definitely a bit of a pang of hurt when you think about stuff like that. Before I started dating my current girlfriend we had been talking for about a year; it hadn't gotten serious until about a month ago and then we ended up dating a few weeks later. Well right before things got serious we were talking one night and I had asked when the last time she had sex was; not in an accusative way, just out of curiosity and it suited the topic of discussion. I told her it had been a year for me since I wasn't really looking to score while living here in Greece, and she replied with, "About a month ago." Now this was a month before we got serious and almost two before we started dating but for some reason it still bothered me for days. She did seem kind of ashamed of it since she had sex with a close friend and she was drunk at a party.
I got over it though, her sex life is her sex life; of course now we're together I have a little more peace of mind knowing she won't go out and around my back, and if she did she'd be booted out of my life. The lesson to learn is that you just can't focus on someone's past; what they've done is what they've done. Though I know the feeling, I don't think anyone likes the idea of another man being with their girlfriend, past or present.
LDR generally don't last when it comes to stuff like this, but it will be a relatively natural distancing between you two if it so chooses to end that way. You might find yourself engrossed with college and new friends as the months goes by and she will distract herself with other pursuits.
Naturally you just sort of phase out.
On the other hand the feelings might last for a time depending on how much effort you keep in touch, but the effort needed to display the right amount of affection will slowly fade as your priorities change.
[QUOTE=G3rman;37384735]LDR generally don't last when it comes to stuff like this, but it will be a relatively natural distancing between you two if it so chooses to end that way. You might find yourself engrossed with college and new friends as the months goes by and she will distract herself with other pursuits.
Naturally you just sort of phase out.
On the other hand the feelings might last for a time depending on how much effort you keep in touch, but the effort needed to display the right amount of affection will slowly fade as your priorities change.[/QUOTE]
I'm inclined to agree with you. I generally don't do long distance relationships because I feel that I should be able to see and hold the person I'm with; but since I'm here in Greece I've taken a bit of a risk. The good thing is my girl visits in December and then I should be moving home early in mid January.
[QUOTE=metallics;37383824]You do realise that when youre a bit older expecting your girlfriend to have had sex with nobody is a bit unrealistic right? Im guessing you're still mid teens because it's a pretty childish view to have and certainly her having a bit of experience can make all the difference between eh its ok sex and great sex. You should be secure in your relationship and not let it bother you as I dont see theres anything to be bothered about.[/QUOTE]
It's not unrealistic dude. We are both 19. I was just trying to help the guy out. And so what that she hasn't had the experience? Neither have I but we love each other and have each other to experiment and get better at sex with. I don't see the problem.
Got a text last night from a girl that at one time was all over my dick in hs, but never gave it to her because I had stupid high standards. She's gotten hotter and she just got in town the other day and wants to go out tonight. She's not going to be in town very long do she obviously isn't looking for a relationship. I'm figuring just picking her up and out for coffee and icecream or something. Then probably making a move on the drop off.
If anything goes wrong I don't give a fuck because I'll probably never see her again.
What does fp think of the plan?
good luck, godspeed
go get 'em, ace
Just got back from a week at my girlfriends, we went about the countryside, to the beach, cooked together every night, bought a tonne of films and watched them all and played L.A Noire together. Such a great time!
[QUOTE=cyclocius;37390545]Just got back from a week at my girlfriends, we went about the countryside, to the beach, cooked together every night, bought a tonne of films and watched them all and played L.A Noire together. Such a great time![/QUOTE]
I imagine your face resembles that of your avatar at the realization that you have just finished a great week and will now miss your SO incomparably more than you used to. I envy you <3
There is this chick who is totally down to fuck, the only thing stopping her is that she has a long distance boyfriend and apparently her "Logic and clear thinking overrides (her) emotional needs".
OH MY FUCKING GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I know I can't force or coerce her into doing anything, that's fuck. But no matter what I do, I can't persuade her.
[QUOTE=dorkson0;37391323]There is this chick who is totally down to fuck, the only thing stopping her is that she has a long distance boyfriend and apparently her "Logic and clear thinking overrides (her) emotional needs".
OH MY FUCKING GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I know I can't force or coerce her into doing anything, that's fuck. But no matter what I do, I can't persuade her.[/QUOTE]
Am I the only one here who thinks that if you actually tried to fuck some guy's girlfriend knowing full well that they were together then that makes you a bad person? Seriously, think of it as if you were the long distance boyfriend and you found out some random guy was "totally down to fuck" with your girlfriend behind your back.
I dunno, I just have a really bad history of people moving on my girlfriend and it's given me a no-tolerance policy for this kind of shit.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37391235]I imagine your face resembles that of your avatar at the realization that you have just finished a great week and will now miss your SO incomparably more than you used to. I envy you <3[/QUOTE]
It's less a teary and more a "well this sucks, 3 weeks until University" attitude. Also, I left my wallet there.
[QUOTE=dorkson0;37391323]There is this chick who is totally down to fuck, the only thing stopping her is that she has a long distance boyfriend and apparently her "Logic and clear thinking overrides (her) emotional needs".
OH MY FUCKING GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I know I can't force or coerce her into doing anything, that's fuck. But no matter what I do, I can't persuade her.[/QUOTE]
How do you know she's down to fuck? I mean, honestly, if she's sat and talked to you about these things, then it kinda gives the impression that her long-distance relationship with her current boyfriend isn't exactly serious. And you've said you've tried persuading her, so it seems like she's allowing you to attempt it, which is another sign that perhaps her relationship isn't as serious.
[editline]24th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=kidwithsword;37391429]Am I the only one here who thinks that if you actually tried to fuck some guy's girlfriend knowing full well that they were together then that makes you a bad person? Seriously, think of it as if you were the long distance boyfriend and you found out some random guy was "totally down to fuck" with your girlfriend behind your back.
I dunno, I just have a really bad history of people moving on my girlfriend and it's given me a no-tolerance policy for this kind of shit.[/QUOTE]
What I wrote up top was meant to continue in response to you. I don't think dorkson is completely in the bad here, I mean, I'm sure with your relationship, it was more serious, and I'm sure your girlfriend wasn't telling guys she was "down to fuck" but "oh shucks, I'm already in a long-distance relationship so I can't".
I've encountered quite a few girls in long-distance "relationships" that totally lead guys on. I had some girl throwing every sign under the sun that she liked me, then when I finally told myself "you know what? I think she likes me, so I'm going to do my best and see if we can go out" she turned around and said "I'm sorry, I can't date you. I already have a boyfriend who's living in another country". Was a bit of a slap in the face, especially since I'd let myself fall for her after all the signs she'd given me.
That's why I'm saying Dorkson isn't completely in the wrong here. Sure, what he's doing might be somewhat sleazy, but if the girl is talking about it to him, it says a lot about what her current relationship is like.
[QUOTE=kidwithsword;37391429]Am I the only one here who thinks that if you actually tried to fuck some guy's girlfriend knowing full well that they were together then that makes you a bad person? Seriously, think of it as if you were the long distance boyfriend and you found out some random guy was "totally down to fuck" with your girlfriend behind your back.
I dunno, I just have a really bad history of people moving on my girlfriend and it's given me a no-tolerance policy for this kind of shit.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I'd agree, but as I'll explain in a second ... we literally have discussed it, without any bullshit. It's really none of my business what goes on between them, but she wants to have sex, and if she wants to have sex, it raises many questions. But she still does the "Logic overrides emotions" thing.
My latest relationship was kept on the down-low because my girlfriend wasn't comfortable with other people knowing about it, due to a whole load of problems (her religion, worried that her parents would find out, lots of family friends in our school she didn't trust) which really kind of sucked since we weren't exactly kids and it felt like a childish relationship (I was 17 going 18, she was 16 going 17). I had to endure guys hitting on her (she was a really beautiful, funny, great person who everyone automatically took a liking to [guys and girls] because her personality was so bubbly) and even had to lie and say we weren't going out, even when asked right in front of her. It sucked. Because of that, guys thought it was me giving the "OK" for them to start hitting on her (since I was always by her side, and everyone knew we were close, so guys used to respect that and not flirt with her since they thought we were a couple, but saying "no, we aren't dating" made them feel it was okay to hit on her, so I had no hard feelings for what they did), so I had to witness guys constantly trying to flirt with her (she would turn them down though).
So in a way, I understand how much it sucks having your girl flirted with and being completely unable to do anything to stop it. But I think in Dorkson's case, it wouldn't be sleazy since the girl has actually had a full-blown conversation saying how she wants sex, which just seems strange to me.
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